Chapter 6: Dilemma
Magami Estate
In one of the houses within the Magami estate, inside a bedroom, Yuzuru lay on his futon. He stared at the ceiling, his brows slightly furrowed as he recalled his conversation with Ryuujo and thought to himself, 'It seems the memories of my current life and Gun Park's memories are slowly altering my personality.'
However, Yuzuru didn't mind; in fact, he was somewhat pleased. In his previous life, he disliked his own traits of being kind-hearted, cheerful, and his accursed heroic morality. These traits always made him feel limited by his own nature and overly reliant on others. Yuzuru found it disgusting, but he couldn't do anything about it because that was who he was.
He despised his former self because, for some reason, he always prioritized others over himself, even restricting his own desires and refraining from doing things he enjoyed to avoid inconveniencing those around him. Additionally, he often found himself in situations where friends would ask for his help, and he couldn't refuse, even though he was dealing with his own hardships.
Yuzuru also frequently received mistreatment from those around him, yet he forgave them easily, as if the mistreatment never happened. He couldn't bring himself to blame them, believing that they were shaped by a society that forced them to become that way—they were simply victims of society's darker side. As a result, he couldn't hold them accountable. At times, he even thought about changing society itself, but as a regular teenager with a slight otaku streak, his efforts were futile. All he could do was endure the misery of watching his loved ones be shaped into something they neither wanted nor liked by society.
This led Yuzuru to question the purpose of his existence. He tried changing his way of living, attempting to live solely for his own pleasure, but he failed. He realized that an aesthetic life, while tempting, only offered fleeting happiness. On the other hand, an ethical life demanded heavy responsibilities, including facing guilt and suffering. Eventually, Yuzuru chose the ethical path, believing that only by enduring suffering and accepting responsibility could one find true meaning in life.
Now, with his personality and morality influenced by this world's version of Yuzuru and Gun Park, he could do whatever he wanted without being bound by the traits and morality of his former self, which he found repulsive. He could now live for himself, acting according to his desires and avoiding what he hated. Yet, even so, he still hesitated when he had to choose between an aesthetic and ethical life.
After a while, lost in a sea of questions, Yuzuru cursed his dilemma, pushed all his thoughts aside, calmed himself, and closed his eyes to sleep.
The next morning, the sky was gray. Thick clouds hung low, blanketing the entire city. The sunlight that usually marked the start of the day was completely obscured by the overcast sky.
Still lying on his futon, Yuzuru began to stir. His eyes slowly opened, greeting the day as usual. Stretching his body, he took a deep breath and noticed the morning air felt more humid than usual, carrying the earthy scent of soil that hinted at impending rain.
Yuzuru sat up on his futon, running a hand through his messy hair. Standing up, he walked over to the window and slid it open to take in the morning view. Before him, he saw trees swaying gently in the breeze, their leaves moving as if anticipating the rain.
Letting out a deep sigh, he stood there for a moment, unable to escape the lingering questions haunting his mind. He observed the slightly dew-covered surroundings, accompanied by the stillness of the morning and the occasional gust of cool wind.
"Looks like it's going to rain soon," he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. Yuzuru decided to leave all those questions behind, entrusting them to his future self.
After standing still for a moment, he turned away and left the room to find the bathroom and prepare himself to deal with the three families.
After finishing his bath, Yuzuru donned the black kimono that had been prepared earlier by the servant. The fabric was smooth, with meticulous stitching that reflected the status of the family he now resided with. He adjusted the kimono, ensuring his appearance aligned with the formalities that might be expected.
As he was fixing the collar, a soft knock echoed from the door. In a calm tone, he said, "Come in."
The shoji door slid open slowly, revealing a servant standing outside. The servant bowed deeply, exuding respect, before speaking, "Yamazaki-sama, the head of the family invites you to join them for a meal."
Yuzuru gazed at the servant for a moment, his eyes steady and composed. After a brief pause, he gave a silent nod. The servant bowed once more, then closed the shoji gently before leaving.
Yuzuru stood still for a moment, his gaze drifting toward the window, which framed the overcast sky that had remained unchanged since morning. The low-hanging gray clouds created an atmosphere of stillness that was oddly calming. He took a deep breath, letting his mind go blank for a moment, before finally shifting his focus and stepping out of his room.
As he walked through the unfamiliar hallway, Yuzuru realized he didn't know where the dining room was. Instead of feeling troubled, he paused and turned to a servant who happened to be passing by. In a low but firm tone, he asked for the location of the dining room. The servant responded politely, providing clear directions. Yuzuru continued on his way to the dining room.
After Yuzuru stepped into the dining room, his gaze immediately fell upon the large table filled with an array of traditional Japanese dishes. The rich and tantalizing aroma of the food filled the room, creating a warm yet dignified atmosphere. At the end of the table, Ryuujo and his wife sat quietly, waiting for him.
Without uttering a word, Yuzuru walked slowly and took his seat. A calm gesture of his hand signaled Ryuujo to begin. No words were exchanged, and only the sound of utensils filled the air. However, amidst the silence, Yuzuru noticed the absence of someone who should have been there. His gaze shifted briefly, reflecting a subtle sense of curiosity.
Ryuujo, noticing the change in Yuzuru's expression, gave a small smile before letting out a light chuckle. "Little Kenta is following in the footsteps of his idol," he remarked casually.
Yuzuru gave no verbal response, only nodding with his characteristic stoic expression. Yet, his thoughts wandered for a moment. He realized that the "idol" Ryuujo referred to was none other than himself. A flicker of childhood memories crossed his mind—when, as an elementary school student, he had subdued most of Japan's gangs in a single day. Perhaps, he thought, Kenta was now attempting to do the same, imitating his footsteps.
Breakfast continued in solemn silence. Once he finished his meal, Yuzuru stood and left the table without saying much. Ryuujo informed him that new clothes had been prepared in his room, and Yuzuru glanced at him briefly before departing.
After donning the outfit Ryuujo had prepared, Yuzuru looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a full white ensemble, consisting of a long coat and matching trousers, paired with a dark shirt underneath.
Wasting no time, Yuzuru left the residence and headed straight for the Yamazaki residential area. He did not inform Ryuujo and paid no heed to the dark, overcast skies that threatened rain. However, as he reached the gate, his steps halted. There, Ryuujo stood nonchalantly, holding a black umbrella in his hand, his signature smile adorning his face.
For a moment, Yuzuru simply stared at him, his cold gaze betraying no emotion. Then, without a word, he resumed walking, showing no intention of acknowledging Ryuujo. Ryuujo, used to Yuzuru's icy demeanor but still annoyed by it, let out a frustrated sigh before tossing the black umbrella toward him.
"Use this, stupid," Ryuujo said as he turned away, his tone half-irritated, half-concerned.
Yuzuru caught the umbrella without a word. Without glancing back, he continued walking, leaving Ryuujo behind as light rain began to fall.
Moments later, the rain intensified, and Yuzuru finally opened the black umbrella that had been thrown to him. He pressed on toward the Yamazaki residence, undeterred as the rain soaked the streets around him.
As he approached the Yamazaki property, his sharp eyes caught sight of two gate guards in the distance. The guards initially appeared relaxed, but their expressions changed dramatically the moment they recognized who was approaching. Shocked and nervous, they began calling out to their comrades, their voices tinged with panic amidst the heavy rain.
Yet, Yuzuru paid them no mind. He continued his steady stride forward, his every step exuding a calm yet intimidating presence. The torrential rain poured around him, amplifying the dramatic tension of his arrival.
"So, this is it..." Yuzuru muttered expressionlessly, as he observed the figures rushing toward him.
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Uggghh I feel like I'm just getting ship sick after wrote this.
Give me your suggestions if possible, ehe