Unwritten Desires

Eleanor

If there was one thing that I had picked out from these past few weeks of living in someone else's body…it was that no matter how hard and how much I tried, I would never be in full control of my body. 

To be honest, I did kind of expect it but I somehow decided to leave it to my never giving up attitude and turns out, it wasn't enough to defeat logic. 

Humans are normally born into the world in different bodies and they literally have their whole childhood to get used to how their body moves and how their body works and I'm not just talking about walking and talking here. I'm talking about the little things…the unconscious habits, the instincts, the way your body reacts before your mind even catches up, the sleeping…

God, the sleeping. 

When I was still back in my world…I was addicted to sleeping. I remembered how I used to sleep in every time but always ended up making it in time for work so I wouldn't get fired but now…

I couldn't even get enough sleep and one would say, hey if you didn't get enough why not just sleep some more, or go to bed on time, but that was the thing. I couldn't go to bed early, or sleep after waking up. It was like I was programmed to sleep for a specific amount of time and it was draining the fuck out of me. 

And now I was sitting in class with a throbbing headache not even understanding a word Mr. Harris was saying. 

But at least I was lucky that it was just practicals today, if I was lucky I'd get paired with Sophia like last time. Staying anywhere near Jake was definitely not an option, turns out this body reacted intensely to his presence and since he already sensed I was avoiding him, I couldn't keep doing that anymore. 

At this point, even being partnered up with Naomi was a better option. 

My brain short circuited as the name Naomi rang in my head. 

Naomi. 

Oh God. How could I forget? 

Today was supposed to be the day she played that stupid prank on me. The same prank that'll get me killed and eliminate Thea out of the novel. 

I'd been so busy trying to figure out things about Theadora that I completely forgot about that. Thankfully, it wasn't really something to worry about that much so I decided to take care of it after Chem. 

Right now…I had bigger problems, and by bigger problems I meant the daunting prospects of ending up with Jake. 

My gaze subconsciously drifted towards him as Mr. Harris began pairing us up only to find out that he was already staring at me! 

Jake was such a sweet soul, but if he seriously kept this up, I would have no choice but to start hating him. I sent a small smile his way before glancing at Sofia who was sitting right beside me. 

"Even in class you guys still keep exchanging glances. So what now? Is there something I should know about?" Sofia whispered, nudging me in the knees. 

"Nope." I said with an eye roll. 

I hadn't still found out why Thea wanted to keep her relationship with Jake a secret, but until then, I had to keep up the act. And it made me feel so bad. 

Sofia had been nothing but nice to me and now I was lying to her. 

"Jake Smith and Sofia Callister…" Mr. Harris announced pulling me out of my thoughts. 

My breathing ceased. Did he just put Sofia and Jake together??? 

What was going to happen to me then?! 

My head snapped towards Sofia who was already staring wide eyed at me. She looked almost as surprised as I did. 

Almost. 

"Miss Callister, I can see that Jake's a friend of yours and I'll really love it if you can assist him." He said in a low voice as he approached us with a knowing look. "He's been having a bit of trouble conducting his experiments lately."

Most people would have picked offense as Mr. Harris was letting the rest of the class hear about their academic performance but Jake was a chill dude so things like that didn't really bother him. 

As for me, I had other things to worry about. Like who I was going to be paired up with now that almost everyone…if not everyone…in the class was already paired up. 

I glanced around to see everyone putting on their lab coats and grabbing their equipment while I just sat there. Oh well…I was probably going to work alone this time around, it wasn't unusual. I just had to do everything myself, at least it was better than being paired up with Jake. 

I guess I got what I asked for after all. 

"Oh Miss Brooke, I'm sorry the whole class is already paired up. I guess you'll just have to do this experiment yourself." He said, voicing out my thoughts. 

I forced a smile about to speak, but he continued, "I'm sure you'll be able to handle it on your own." He said, returning my smile. "After all, you are one of my best students." 

He said as I dipped my head a small nod getting up from my seat. They weren't any more table with equipments since everyone had picked theirs so the only free one was way at the back of the class. 

"Hey, we'll talk after class okay?" Sofia smiled at me as I brushed past her. Thankfully, Jake was still heading towards this side of the classroom when I left so we just locked eyes for a tiny second and both looked away. 

Guess he also realized having too many eye contacts and smiling at each other will give our secret away. Oh well…I got what I wanted after all so it was a win win. 

I was busy rinsing my beakers and preparing my apparatus when I heard low murmurs and lifted my head to see what was wrong, only to find Liam heading inside the classroom wearing his signature stoic expression. 

Oh great. Mr. Grumpy grumps is also in this class. 

I let out a small huff as I turned my attention to the equipment in front of me, I was the only one doing this practical after all, which meant I couldn't afford getting distracted. 

"Mr. Anderson, you're late." I heard Mr. Harris say. 

"Car broke down in the middle of the road. Had to get it fixed." He replied in a dismissive manner and I just pretended I didn't hear anything. 

"Well then…since the class has already been paired up…" I jerked my head towards Mr. Harris before he could even finish his sentence. 

I didn't even want him to finish his sentence. 

What did he mean the class was already paired up? I thought we both agreed that I was going to do my thing?? 

"…you can partner up with Miss Roberts." He gestured towards me and the words slipped out of my lips before I could even stop them. 

"No fucking way." 

The whole class turned towards me with surprised and questioning looks as Mr. Harris stared at me from the front of the class with furrowed brows. 

My lips thinned. 

Of course they had to stare at me like that. Theodora never cursed…at least not in front of the whole class and her chemistry teacher. 

Oh crap. How do I get myself out of this one now?