The New Ego

The alarm blared at 7 AM. I groaned, slapping the snooze button. Five minutes later, it went off again.

"Why did I think this was a good idea?"

But I remembered the TikTok video and forced myself out of bed. My head felt heavy, and my body ached, but I stumbled to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and stared at my reflection.

"One day at a time," I muttered.

By 8 AM, I was in the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water. My mom was already there, sipping coffee and scrolling through her phone.

"You're up early," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, trying something new," I replied, avoiding eye contact.

My dad walked in, already dressed for work. He gave me a nod and grabbed his lunch from the fridge.

"You got plans today?" he asked.

"Not really," I said. "Just… trying to figure some stuff out."

He nodded again, like he understood, but didn't press further.

My older brother, Alex, stumbled in next, still half-asleep. He was taller than me, with a lean build that made me feel even more self-conscious about my weight.

"Morning, loser," he said, ruffling my hair.

"Morning, jerk," I shot back, but there was no real malice in it.

My sister, Mia, was the last to join. She was already dressed for her part-time job at the library, her hair tied up in a neat bun.

"You're actually awake before noon?" she teased. "What's the occasion?"

"I'm turning my life around," I said, half-joking.

She smirked. "Good luck with that."

We sat together at the table, eating breakfast—a rare occurrence. Usually, I'd skip it and sleep in, but today felt different. For the first time in months, I wasn't hiding in my room.

After breakfast, I headed back to my room. My family's teasing had stung a little, but it also lit a fire under me.

"I'll show them," I thought.

I opened my laptop and searched for "how to start learning programming." The first result was a free coding bootcamp called "Codecademy."

"Why not?" I signed up for the Python course and started the first lesson.

The tutorial walked me through basic syntax and variables. It was overwhelming at first, but I kept going.

"This is my ticket out," I told myself. "If I can learn this, I can get a real job. I can stop writing… those stories."

By lunchtime, I was hungry but determined to make better choices. Instead of reaching for chips or soda, I made a sandwich with whole wheat bread, turkey, and lettuce.

"One healthy meal at a time," I thought.

I ate slowly, savoring each bite. It wasn't gourmet, but it felt like progress.

After lunch, I sat at my desk and stared at my computer. The wallpapers of cars, the secret tabs, the incest stories—it all felt like a weight dragging me down.

"If I'm going to change, I need to start fresh."

I backed up the few important files I had—photos, documents, and a folder of unfinished stories I wasn't proud of—and wiped the rest.

The screen went black, then lit up with the setup wizard.

"New system, new me," I muttered.

I installed only the essentials: a browser, a code editor, and a note-taking app. No games. No distractions.

With my computer clean, I turned to my room. The mess had always been a reflection of my mind—cluttered, chaotic, and overwhelming.

I started with the bed, stripping off the sheets and tossing them in the laundry. Then I moved to the desk, throwing out old receipts, empty soda cans, and random junk.

Under the pile of clothes in the corner, I found a dusty dumbbell.

"When did I even buy this?"

I set it by the door, a reminder to start using it.

By the time I was done, the room looked… different. Not perfect, but better.

As I sat on my freshly made bed, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment.

"One push-up. One coding lesson. One healthy meal. One clean room. That's four steps today."

It wasn't much, but it was a start.