The Murderer Doctor and the Singing Saint

Chapter 1: Saint Arisa

‘A Saint…?’

Apparently, this young woman was the one who had saved my life.

But I couldn’t bring myself to thank her. After all, everyone else had died because of my mistake. Maybe I should have died with them.

“You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you?”

The Saint spoke as though she knew everything.

I hadn’t said a word yet. Could she read minds or something?

“I hear a sound like a drum on the verge of tearing—full of anger. But the drum is only angry at itself.”

What the hell? So she’s just crazy, then.

I tried to let out a scoff to mock her, but a sharp pain flared in my chest, making even that impossible. Gritting through the agony, I muttered,

“What… nonsense…”

“I have the ability to hear the songs within people.”

What a bizarre thing to say. I was getting annoyed, so I snapped coldly at her.

“Don’t… say such useless things… Just stop the pain…”

“Alright.”

She took two steps back and began chanting a spell.

A bright golden magic circle formed in her hands, and a gentle white light emerged, washing over me.

“Your healing magic… isn’t bad at all.”

The pain that had been dragging me toward death receded noticeably.

As I let out a sigh of relief, she asked me,

“What’s your name?”

“…That…”

I hesitated as I was about to say my real name. I remembered the thought I had just before I lost consciousness, lying next to Kiru.

‘If I survive… I want to live your life for you.’

“…Kiru.”

“Kiru? My name is Arisa.”

Arisa greeted me politely. I immediately asked her what I was most curious about.

“What happened to the man who was with me?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that someone brought you here, and that a high-ranking Saint personally came and saved your life.”

“You weren’t the one who healed me?”

“I don’t have enough divine power to revive someone on the brink of death. At most, I can only ease your pain.”

“Why is a Saint in Rederan?”

The place I’d collapsed was Rederan, in the eastern region of the Empire. It was rare for the Papal State in the west to send a Saint to Rederan.

Even more so now, with the Empire crumbling and dividing into four separate territories.

“This isn’t Rederan. It’s slightly west of the center of the Empire.”

“Someone carried my dying body all the way here?”

“Yes. I’d never seen them before, but they weren’t ordinary.”

I was on the brink of death. For someone to bring me such a long way meant they had used teleportation magic directly.

That wasn’t something achievable with normal magical power. Why would someone like that save a failure like me?

“You’re blaming yourself again.”

“Sorry, but having my thoughts read isn’t exactly a pleasant experience.”

“I apologize.”

“No need to say sorry.”

I tried to sit up in bed, and immediately, a horrific pain surged through me like my wounds were splitting open again.

“You mustn’t get up yet. You’ll need a few more days of rest.”

“I don’t have time to lie here. I…”

I have to go to Tarinas University. I must carry on my friend’s unfulfilled dream.

I don’t have the luxury of idling away with a Saint.

“Restoring your body comes first.”

Arisa was surprisingly stubborn. No matter how much I insisted, she wouldn’t budge.

In the end, I agreed to stay in bed in exchange for a promise that she’d teleport me once my treatment was complete.

After that, I spent several days with Arisa.

She stayed by my side day and night, tending to me with great care.

She gently cleaned my wounds, cast healing magic when I was in pain, and even fed me by hand.

“I have a question.”

As I spoke, Arisa placed a cool towel on my forehead and smiled softly.

“Ask me anything.”

“Why are you putting so much effort into helping me? Even if a Saint is meant to embrace all, I’m someone who killed people. Do I really deserve this kind of treatment?”

“That’s because I hear a beautiful song from you, Kiru.”

Still with the song nonsense…

If someone like me—who’s taken so many lives—produces a beautiful sound, then her ability clearly isn’t working properly.

“Don’t believe me? Just a moment.”

Arisa left the room and returned with several instruments.

“I’ll let you hear the melody I hear from you.”

As she played, a sweet and gentle tune flowed through the room. Her hands moved gracefully, and the music felt like it was cleansing the pain gnawing at my body.

It was a healing melody, as if it purified everything.

But peace didn’t last. I started to hear the screams of my dead comrades mixed into the song.

“…Ah…”

Arisa’s hands froze.

“You’re blaming yourself again.”

“Yeah. So what sound plays when I’m blaming myself? You always know right away.”

She looked at me with sorrowful eyes and played again. This time, the melody was rough, jarring, and full of friction. It stung my ears.

“That’s enough.”

I grimaced, and she stopped. After a pause, she switched instruments and played a new tune.

“This one brings peace of mind. I hope it helps you feel a little more at ease.”

As the music began, the heaviness in my heart faded.

The anxiety over wasting time here, the guilt over receiving kindness I didn’t deserve—it all melted away in the peaceful notes.

“…Thanks.”

In the end, I had no choice but to surrender. I closed my eyes and let her music lull me to sleep.

From that day on, Arisa often played music for me. She prayed for a sinner, cared for a sinner, and sang for a sinner. She truly lived up to the title of Saint.

Soon, I recovered enough to move on my own.

When she saw me sit up and move my arms, Arisa smiled brightly.

“That’s a relief.”

To this Saint, was my survival something to be happy about?

It was a mystery I couldn’t solve, but I didn’t press her. I knew she’d just give me some foolishly kind answer.

“Why have you never touched me directly?”

I hadn’t meant anything suggestive. It was just curious that in all her days of nursing me, she never once laid a hand on me directly.

Even when placing a cloth on my forehead or cleaning my wounds, Arisa had always been cautious not to touch my body.

“When I physically touch someone, I hear the deeper sounds within them. I believe reading someone’s innermost thoughts without permission is impolite.”

“Such a prim and proper belief… very Saint-like.”

“Is that so?”

Even at my harsh words, Arisa didn’t get upset. She just smiled like she found it amusing.

At last, the day came when her care ended. I stood before a mirror and looked at myself.

Countless scars from battles past covered my body.

“I brought you some new clothes.”

Arisa entered the room with a bundle of clothing and smiled.

“I won’t forget this kindness.”

“I’ll look forward to the day we meet again. May the gods bless your path.”

I won’t do anything that leaves scars anymore.

No—like that warm smile of hers, I’ll become someone who can erase others’ scars.

With that resolve, I threw my bloodstained clothes into the trash and left for Tarinas University.

***

When I arrived at Tarinas University, I immediately enrolled in the School of Medicine.

There, I repeatedly killed and buried my old self.

To shed my identity as a killer, and become the doctor Kiru had dreamed of being.

While I was studying, the Empire fell, and the land split into four regions.

The Rederan Federation in the east, the Papal State in the west, the Veron Alliance in the north—

And the Tarin Republic in the south, where the university was located.

But none of that had much to do with me. All that mattered was becoming a doctor. I didn’t care about wars or politics.

I studied like I’d die the next day for eight years, and finally graduated as a doctor.

“Congratulations on graduating, Kiru-sunbae.”

Helen offered me a bouquet of light-purple flowers, bright and beautifully arranged.

“Thanks.”

“Do you know how much you’ve changed? You used to be so cold and intimidating. Now you’re so… gentle.”

Gentle, huh? I stared at the bouquet and fell into thought.

I no longer had to get angry just to survive, or raise my voice to avoid being looked down on.

I didn’t have to wield a sword and take lives anymore.

Maybe it was only natural for my personality to change.

“What will you do now?”

Helen, twisting her dull blonde hair, looked up at me. Her sea-gray eyes stared, and her thin upper lip trembled slightly.

“I’m going to Rederan for medical volunteer work.”

“Ah… Why?”

Because Rederan was where I killed the most people.

Helen, who knew nothing of my past, found it strange. I had never once spoken of my past since arriving at Tarinas.

She pouted for a moment, then suddenly clapped her hands like she remembered something.

“Oh right. There’s a rumor that Lord Sevian wants to meet with you.”

“Lord Sevian?”

Sevian was the chancellor of Tarinas University and the supreme leader of the Tarin Republic—a figure so far above me I couldn’t even fathom approaching them.

A person of brilliant intellect and sharp insight, respected by all.

Surely someone like that wouldn’t be interested in me, who had done nothing but study for eight years.

Or so I thought—until the rumor proved true. Just as I was preparing for my volunteer work, Sevian summoned me to their office.

I donned my formal uniform and went, nerves stretched taut.

“What was your name again? Kiru… was it?”

Right then and there, Sevian offered me a position as a professor in the School of Medicine.

I insisted I wasn’t qualified—that I had only just graduated—but Sevian wouldn’t let me go.

In the end, I accepted, on the condition that I could continue conducting research outside the university.

“I look forward to working with you, Professor Kiru.”

“And I with you, Chancellor.”

“By the way, you mentioned volunteer work—what about going to the Papal State instead?”

“If you suggest it, I’ll go.”

“Our relations with the Papal State are tense. It would be best if you kept your identity hidden.”

Right after meeting with Sevian, I departed for the Papal State.

There, I helped those too poor to afford a doctor, people who had accepted death and waited quietly for it.

I didn’t take a single coin.

“You truly are a saint, Doctor.”

Someone once said that to me. If only they knew my past—I let out a bitter smile.

And I was still nothing compared to the real Saint I had once met.

I traveled from village to village. After tending to the sick in one place, I moved immediately to the next. There was no time to rest if I wanted to save as many lives as I had taken.

And then, one day, I arrived at a small mountain village.

That day, I took a life once more.