The Lazy Sovereign

Xu Tian crouched behind a boulder at the edge of the forest, peeking nervously at the group of rogue cultivators stomping toward the village.

The leader of the group, a burly man with a scar slashing across his face, barked orders at his underlings. "That kid from earlier—he has something valuable! Spread out and find him!"

Xu Tian's heart sank. "Why does everyone think I'm important all of a sudden? I'm just a guy with bad luck!"

The Heavenly Bureaucracy Seal shimmered faintly on his palm.

"New Task: Protect Quiet Stream Village from unauthorized cultivator interference. Deadline: Immediate. Penalty for failure: Temporary paralysis of all limbs."

Xu Tian groaned. "Of course there's a penalty. Can't I just ignore them? The villagers can handle it."

"Noncompliance will result in penalties."

"Alright, alright!" Xu Tian hissed. "But I'm not fighting them. Fighting's too much work."

As the rogue cultivators fanned out, Xu Tian slunk back toward the village, muttering to himself. He passed the two spirits he'd just mediated, who eyed him curiously.

"You again?" the water spirit asked. "What's the panic this time?"

"Trouble," Xu Tian replied, pointing toward the forest. "A lot of it."

The bark spirit snorted. "Why should we care? This isn't our problem."

Xu Tian's eyes gleamed as an idea struck him. "Actually, it is! Those guys are here to take over the village, which means they'll cut down trees and drain rivers. Do you want that?"

The spirits exchanged uneasy glances.

"Fine," the bark spirit grumbled. "We'll help. But only because you owe us!"

Moments later, the lead rogue cultivator emerged from the forest, flanked by his underlings. They stormed into the village square, shouting threats and demands.

"Hand over the brat with the artifact, and we won't raze this place to the ground!"

The villagers panicked, retreating into their homes. Xu Tian, hiding behind a barrel, peered out cautiously. "Great. They're serious."

Before he could concoct a plan, the two spirits surged forward. The bark spirit slammed its roots into the ground, creating a barrier of thorny vines, while the water spirit summoned a torrent that swept through the square.

"What the—spirits?!" the lead rogue yelled, dodging the attack.

While the spirits distracted the rogues, Xu Tian darted around the edge of the square, searching for a way to tip the scales without breaking a sweat. His eyes landed on a stack of barrels near the rogue's camp—barrels marked with a flammable warning symbol.

"Perfect," he muttered, sneaking over and grabbing a torch.

With a quick spark, the barrels ignited, sending a plume of smoke into the sky. The rogues turned just in time to see their supplies explode in a fiery blaze.

"Retreat!" the leader shouted, coughing as smoke engulfed the area.

The rogues fled into the forest, leaving the village unharmed.

The villagers emerged cautiously, cheering as they realized the danger had passed. Xu Tian stepped forward, brushing soot off his sleeves and trying to look heroic.

"No need to thank me," he said, striking a pose. "All in a day's work."

The spirits rolled their eyes. "You're insufferable."

Before Xu Tian could bask in his "glory," the seal on his palm glowed again.

"Task complete. Rewards: Two Tier 1 Cosmic Points. New Task: Clean up the damage caused during the incident. Deadline: Immediate. Penalty for failure: Persistent stomach cramps."

Xu Tian froze. "Clean up?! But I saved the village!"

The seal remained silent, glowing ominously.

As Xu Tian reluctantly grabbed a broom, a faint, ominous laugh echoed from the forest. Far away, in the depths of a dark cave, a shadowy figure sat cross-legged, its eyes glowing with malice.

"The Heavenly Seal has resurfaced," the figure murmured. "It seems our plans will need to change."