The Hotel for Hazbins

His heart raced against the symphony of screams that echoed through his ears. He raced through the street, dodging stray body parts and angels that lunged towards him. He dove into an abandoned building, praying to the King that no angel had seen him come in here. He dove underneath a ripped-up couch, tail and usually-hidden wings wrapping around him in an attempt to hide him from view of any prying angel eyes. He couldn't double-die today, it just wasn't his time…again.

There were three other people in here, all making slight sounds of disbelief and fear. One of them had soulless black eyes like a member of Cannibal Town further down in the Ring, and a painfully thin waist that even one of his colleagues couldn't top. Another also had black eyes, with scared pupils that flicked around, arms wrapped tightly around their brown dress. The other one looked a lot like a seal, although he had seen plenty of animal-like sinners here in Hell, (including himself, his soul's owner, and one of his coworkers that was a lot like a very fluffy spider) it still wasn't jarring enough to be seeing another. He heard the flapping of wings outside and he instinctively tightened up more to shrink himself. Damn these cat instincts!

A thud outside made them all go deathly silent, and his wide eyes screwed themselves shut in the silly thought that if he couldn't see it, then it wasn't there. Perhaps this was just a bad dream, and he could wake up safe…but no luck. He reluctantly opened his eyes, and he looked around fearfully. A winged shadow fell over the three demons in the room with him, making them all tense up. There was a pair of feet standing next to the couch. He could've easily mistook the new creature for another demon if it wasn't for the amount of holy energy that emanated off of them. 

 If any of them moved an inch, they would all die.

Glowing faintly humming white claws appeared on the edge of the couch and ripped it off of the ground, revealing him. He hissed, arching his back slightly like a cat before running over and spreading his wings, making an attempt to shield or cover the three other demons. The angel's glowing blue eyes zeroed in on him, and their creepy glowing smile focused on him. They raised up their hand, ready to strike him down when———

gong

gong

gong

 The angel scowled, the glowing mouth shrinking down before they spread their three pairs of wings and flew away from the room. They all sighed in relief before he got up, folding his wings up and putting them back in the illusion he almost always kept them in. It felt nice to stretch his wings, but it was tiring putting them back.

A hand on his arm startled him, and he was surprised to see the cannibal-looking demon holding his arm. "Thank you," they said before leaving the room. The seal demon and the demon with the dress moved past him, both heading in the opposite direction.

 He sighed, and left the building and started heading towards his work. He took a moment to stand outside of the building, watching the mass of angels flock to the golden portal that led them to Heaven. His bored expression lingered as he turned away from looking at them to looking forward. He brought out his compact mirror and makeup to fix up his eyeliner and eyeshadow, being careful to keep an eye on any dead bodies he might happen to stumble across.

A bench happened to appear in his vision and he sat down on it gratefully, and he put away his makeup and compact mirror. For a moment, he considered closing his eyes and trying to take a nap, but with the clothes he was forced to wear and the obvious weakness presented by a dolled-up person like him attempting to sleep, he would probably get kidnapped and held up for ransom——ha, like his boss would even care.

They would probably do much worse things than take him away.

 The clicking of heels on the bloody concrete sidewalk nearly made him flinch, but he held back from doing anything. A silhouette appeared in his vision, stopping just a few inches away from him. "Mind if I sit here?

 He flicked on his star attitude. "Not at all, sweetie~ Do what you want." 

"Great!" The person exclaimed, obviously dodging his words and sitting down beside him. The person had white skin with dark red circles the color of apples dusting their cheeks, with blond hair with a white streak sitting underneath their white-and-red hat, with an apple resting on top of it and a snake curling around the top of the hat. They wore a dark blue jacket fastened with golden buttons and chains, with black pants. They had an imp-like tail that was black with a red heart in the middle; the tail was flicking around, betraying how nervous the person felt. Even if he hadn't noticed the crown, he had seen enough paintings and news articles and shows to realize that this was the one and only King of Hell, Lucifer Morningstar.

"What can I do for you~?" He asked, unintentionally reaching to fluff up his chest fluff a bit.

 "Here!" Lucifer exclaimed, pushing a golden slip of paper into his hand that was written with red swoopy handwriting.

~~~~~~~~~~

𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓗𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓗𝓪𝔃𝓫𝓲𝓷𝓼 [𝓸𝓻 𝓗𝓪𝔃𝓫𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓽]! 

[𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷 𝓾𝓹, 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓽 𝓧𝓧𝓧-𝓧𝓧𝓧-𝓧𝓧𝓧𝓧 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓴 𝓪𝓽 𝓧𝓧𝓧-𝓧𝓧𝓧-𝓧𝓧𝓧𝓧 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓼-𝓾𝓹 𝓼𝓸 𝔀𝓮 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓪 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾!] 

𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓪𝓵 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓹 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝔂 𝓔𝔁𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 [𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓼𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷] 𝓫𝔂 𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓼 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓵𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓹 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝓱𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓼, 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 [𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵𝔂] 𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝓷𝓮𝔁𝓽 𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓷! 

𝓢𝓽𝓪𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓗𝓪𝔃𝓫𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓵 𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓰𝓮 [𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶𝓼, 𝓯𝓸𝓸𝓭, 𝓫𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼], 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝔂𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓶𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼. 

𝓐𝓵𝓵 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓼, 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓹 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓯𝓯 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓼, 𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝔂𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓪𝓬𝓴. 

[𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓾𝓼𝓫𝓸𝔂/𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓽, 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓪 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓲𝓶] 

𝓦𝓐𝓘𝓣𝓔𝓡/𝓦𝓐𝓘𝓣𝓡𝓔𝓢𝓢 𝓝𝓔𝓔𝓓𝓔𝓓 

𝓒𝓾𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓯𝓯 𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮….

~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you work at the hotel?" He asked Lucifer.

 "Yes, in fact I do! I'm the manager and——"

 "——the King of Hell," He finished for him. "Didn't you start the Exterminations? Why the change of heart now?"

 "I never should've signed that damn contract," He heard Lucifer mutter. "Well, when I first signed it, I was a different man, only a shell of who I am now. I see now that when I signed it, I was in the wrong and I am trying to fix my mistake. Unfortunately, in the terms of the contract, it does not allow me to step in and just say, 'Stop the Extermination', so I resorted to using other means, and here I am now….."

He tuned out the rest of what Lucifer was saying. He frog blinked, tapping a paw on his chin in thought. On one paw, this was basically a free ticket to skip out on work and his boss on a silver platter [he could always just claim he was busy], and possibly a free ticket to go to Heaven, where his boss would definitely never go; on the other paw, Hell was okay, and he certainly preferred being where there were no rules than a place where one wrong thing could send him back down.

"Hmmm, fine, I'll join your hotel," He said. The happy look on Lucifer's face made him feel a little happy platonic tingling in his body. He was never one for having much friends; his usual grumpy personality (at least when he was alive) usually shooed them away, and his new personality in Hell only made them want to get with him rather than actually spend time with him. "I saw you needed a waiter, I bet I could be one~" He said, smirking.

"Okey-dokey!" Lucifer said, practically vibrating in his spot. "What's your name, cat demon?"

"Husker, nice to meet you." He held out his hand, and Lucifer took it in an excited handshake.

"It's nice to meet YOU!" He said. "The hotel is this way, not too far from the outskirts of town."

~~~~~~~~~

People weren't kidding when they said Lucifer had magic. There was a whole flipping palace that was just for him [or at least most of it]! Why weren't there more people here?

 Husker let out a shocked sound as he took it all in. Lucifer led him inside the hotel, setting him in front of a desk with some creepy deer demon. They were reading some kinda book, barely paying attention to the new resident and their fellow staff member. They had red eyes and a white monocle attached to a black chain, with a light pink vest, a white shirt and a black bow-tie and pants, with little antlers sticking out of their red-and-black-tipped hair.

"Can I help you?" Their radio-tinged voice asked, one eye flicking over to look at him. They had a bit of a French-Southern accent, and they looked incredibly bored despite not dropping their smile. 

"Al, this is our NEW RESIDENT!" Lucifer exclaimed, practically jumping over the desk to hug the poor deer. The static in the room that Husker hadn't noticed before increased at the touch, but they hugged him back.

"Nice to be meeting you, my deer~"——he snickered internally at the deer joke——"my name is Husker."

The deer [Al?] put his book on the counter and placed his claws on the desk in exasperation. He muttered something in French before he reached underneath the desk and brought up a piece of paper and some weird-looking pen out from underneath the desk. He adjusted his monocle and looked at him. 

Husker frog-blinked before realizing he had to say something. "OH! Well, I would like to have my room look a lot like a hotel room from the 1970s, with a bit of a…casino feel to it. I used to be a gambler before…" His eyes misted over as he recalled the noises and sounds and smells of casinos before he ran into that damn moth…

Al snapped his claws with a little glow of green magic before standing up and cracking his back as he stood. He was at least a foot taller than him, if at least not taller [he sure was taller than Lucifer, at least]. When he walked out from the desk, he noticed a pair of black-and-red hooves instead of feet, which barely made noise over the static that Al generated.

"Your room is this way, sir," The receptionist said. "Is there anything you need to put in your room that I can put ahead for you?"

Husker pondered for a moment before he shook his head. "I saw in the ad that you were looking for a waiter. I can be that waiter, assuming that my 'redemption' may take a long time."

Lucifer merely looked over at him. "O…Kay…" He said hesitantly. Despite he would usually deliver scorching remarks and not care what other people felt about them, he felt like he said something wrong. 

 He followed Al and Lucifer past a run-down bar, with a familiar-looking demon working behind it. "Angel?" He wondered out loud. 

The spider demon looked up at him with a bored expression, and his expression didn't change.

"You know him?" Lucifer asked curiously.

 "Yes…we work together," Husker answered vaguely. "Wasn't expecting to see him here. Is he going to be redeemed or is he just working here?" 

"Well, Angel, Al, and I aren't sure. For now, he's just working here as the bartender. We're also looking for a chef, but Al here usually just makes the meals——and I'm not complaining, he's an amazing cook——, so we're just looking for a waiter, which will be you. At least, when we have enough people here looking for redemption, we're going to need more staff members…which is where you'll come in! Al and Angel will be your bosses, but you are free to leave and make your outfit as you please."

"Ah, I already have one planned~" In one of the movies he was planned to star in, it had him assigned to be a waiter, featuring him only wearing pants and suspenders.

 "Okay great!" Lucifer exclaimed. "You have the next few days to settle in, and next week we'll be discussing sins and how to———"

Lucifer was interrupted by a loud boom outside, and Husker noticed Angel suddenly perk up. Another loud boom sounded outside, and the wall was blown in. Some object went flying towards Lucifer, who picked it up curiously. The object was a gray sphere, with a light gray skull design. There was a black wire sticking up from the top, which was visibly shrinking. Al quickly picked it up out of Lucifer's hands and threw it through the heart-shaped hole in the wall. A laugh outside startled him and he felt his tail prickle instinctively. 

A woman with one x'ed-out eye stepped through the hole. They were wearing a light brown-yellow coat that tied around their waist, with a dark brown…undershirt[?] with white ruffles at the edge. They had a pale yellow-gray skirt with dark yellow-gold ruffles at the end of it, which was slightly picked up by a ticking clock like a bomb countdown. Their pale pink-yellow hair wasn't styled in any particular way, and they had a hat atop their head with goggles, teeth, and another x'ed-out eye. She held another bomb in her hand, and she smiled cruelly once she noticed the residents.

"Get out of here," Al growled. His antlers grew and the static in the background increased. Something Husker had never noticed before, the dark red coloring on his eyelids, started leaking beside his eyes.

"Why don't you get this tinker-toy bull chip outta my way before I break it—" A piece of the wall fell down beside her—— "more." She grinned.

"Do you really want to fight with me, little girl? Í̙́ ç_̵̨̡_ͨ́o̸̤ͅǔ̧̧͖l̻̥̘ḑ̷̨͕_̵ c_rǔsh y̷̨̛ǫ̞̰͖u̟̙͔ ĺ̴̷̛įķḛ a b_̴̵̨_̴̳̦ū̸̢g."

The woman scoffed. "Puh-lease, old man, you're too creaky for me. I want a REAL fight."

"Haven't you been in Hell since sometime in the 1800s?" Lucifer commented, pointing a cane that just appeared out of nowhere at the sinner.

The girl growled at him, but she tightened her grip on the bomb. The tension in the air was thick, and it was interrupted by sudden screaming. Al basically quintupled in size, antlers growing bigger than the hotel. He disappeared for a moment into the darkness and reappeared outside. His normally white smile was huge and glowing, reminding him of the weapons he had just seen earlier that were wielded by the angels. His body was glowing, now looking like a deer's skeleton with ripped clothes hanging off of his body, with glowing stitches holding his clothes and body and smile together, with blood pouring down the side of his face and ticking radio dials in place of his eyes.

Al simply leaned down and flicked her away, returning back to his normal form. "I am so sorry you had to see that, my dears. It is unfortunate that a sinner decided to make the mistake of crossing us. You must get new friends, dear Angel," He tsked, straightening up his outfit. "Well, Luci——"

 Lucifer was holding up his phone. "Sorry, I'm…getting a call from Heaven."

 Al frog-blinked, but his mouth slightly opened. "Ah. Well, let's go, my dears. I want to introduce Husker to our other staff member…"

~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer nervously pressed the accept call button on the screen, his tail flicking and knocking down nearby objects. He looked over at the other demons in his hotel, tapping his foot.

Her voice played through the screen. "Lucifer, we wanted to present you with good news about your hotel."

"Cut it, Sera. We both know that you just want to meet to discuss the Extermination. You were even the one to deny it earlier!"

 "I just wanted to tell you that I wanted to meet. I was not…in the right mind last time we met. I would like to talk to you today, and I request that you leave your…pet sinner behind."

 Lucifer messed with his lip with one of his sharp teeth, tapping his claws on the screen. "Al isn't my pet. He's my friend and partner with this. I'll agree to meet, but I want to bring at least someone. Can I bring my new resident?"

 "Wait, your hotel actually has someone who thinks it's worthwhile? That's crazy!"

"Well, I mean, I don't know…but can I please bring somebody?" 

"No. If you want Heaven to give it a second chance, we meet alone."

 "Fine…" Lucifer said. "When are we meeting?"

"Today, in about an hour."

"Alright, I'll be there." Lucifer looked over and he caught Al's gaze, who had glanced over at him sometime when he was talking with his sister. He gestured for him to come over. The deer pointed at his chest, but he sent a glance over at the group before moving over.

 "What is it?" He asked.

"I was just asked for another meeting with Heaven, and they asked me to go alone."

"But the last time went so bad, and this time I won't be there!"

"Yeah, but I'm sure I can do this!" Lucifer took a deep breath.

"Oh no, please don't start singing," Al rubbed his temples.

"I can do this, somehow I know it. I'll get Heaven behind my plans~1" Lucifer sang, ignoring Al.

 "Luci, hold on." Al called out.

"There's no way I could do this successfully, but I'm sure they'll give me another chance~"

 "It's just another problematic meeting." Al rolled his eyes.

 "Cheer up Al, this could be swell! Something tells me that today's gonna be a happy day in Hell!" He spun his friend around for a moment before bolting out of the door.

 "Just please don't sing to them!" Al called.

 "That guy's halfway down the street," Husker laughed.

 "Is he-"

"Oh, he's dancing."

"Ugh, no-"

"There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air. Every person so revealing [of friendship] it's hard not to care! It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere— If you don't mind the smell~" He took a deep breath.

"IT'S A HAPPY DAY IN HELL! Hi mister!" He waved.

 "Go die!"

"There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul!" Someone called.

"Hello!"

 "Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in some hole!" An imp yelled.

"Ah, that's not very nice."

"Doing what is required, we all have our role." A guy with a large axe said.

"I'm not doing well~" Some guy with a knife in his eye said.

 "Another bad day in Hell~" 

"If I can show them the dream I've dreamed: that any soul can change! Those angel's minds are sure hard to change! They will know everyone can be redeemed, from the evil to the straaaaange~"

"They're bloodthirsty and deranged!" Al yelled somewhere.

"I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced. I know that they've got more of an acquired taste, but if I open the door and give them a place——at my Hazbin Hotel—-it'll be a HAPPY DAY IN HELL!" He jumped on the back of a nearby bus, hand out and the sleeve fluttering in the breeze.

"From the studio, where the cinephiles go, to watch award-winning demon shows! To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown!" He tipped his hat at some ladies and jumped off the bus, moving closer to sing something. "And—-holy CHIP oh my gosh, why?! And I don't give a crow that guy's brains got in my I-hi-hi~!"

He wiped desperately at his eye. "I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide! I can do this!" [There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul!]

"I'll get Heaven behind my plans! There's a small way I could blow it!"

[Why is there barbed wire in my sleeping hole?] "I'll be sure to get Heaven to change their minds——" "And touch my parts!" Some slug guy interrupted.

"Uhhh, no thanks, I'll just…fulfill my dEsTiNy~"

"Your loss, witch." The guy grumbled.

"I can already tell, today is gonna be a HAPPY DAY IN HELL!" He pushed the auditorium doors.

The golden doors of the Heaven Embassy opened before him, letting him into a small lobby. His black shoes clacked on the floor as he walked around, hat brim nearly falling off as he looked around. Lucifer moved a hand up to adjust the hat as he called out.

"Hellooo? Sera? Anyone home?" He sat down on one of the benches that lined the side. Lucifer grabbed his hat, brushing it off and feeding a little piece of an apple to the snake that wrapped around it, and put a fresh apple on the hat and teleporting the apple that had been on his hat before to a random place in Hell. It was always better to give it to someone than to waste a perfectly good apple. He shined the crown on the hat brim, running a hand through his hair and putting his hat back on. His black imp-like tail tapped against the floor and one leg of the couch. When was his sister going to appear? Would they truly listen to his idea? Would they-

A loud snap echoed through the room, and a golden contract appeared in front of him, attached to a red pen. His red eyes flicked over the terms and he signed it on the dotted line. The contract disappeared with a sparkling sound and the large doors at the right of an abandoned desk.

 The "conference room", as Alastor had called it during their last meeting, was large, painted pale blue with gold leaf stripes along the edges. It also had a thin transparent film over it: angelic steel, which reminded any wayward sinner that one touch of it would hurt them permanently. There was a long table in the middle of the room, perfectly center, surrounded by wooden chairs that were obviously taken care of—-after all, the angels wanted their meeting place (that they never used) to be pristine. Lucifer pulled out a chair and sat down, fiddling with his thumbs. A loud snap sounded near, and his head raised up (when had he put his head down?) with a hopeful expression.

Sera was sitting at the head of the table, the edges of her glitching like a hologram. She wore a mask, which was surprising considering that she hadn't last time, but the shape of the black-and-blue horns were slightly curled back, but not fully, like a certain…person…that he knew. She wore a large white cloak with blue jagged edging and triangles lining the edges of the jagged lines, with a pale blue skirt that was covered by one pair of her silver wings.

 She was accompanied by his younger sister, Emily. She wore a light purple-blue shirt and pants, with a light blue skirt that went partway through her calves. Emily had on a black helmet with squiggly horns that twisted up around her head.

Lucifer felt himself instinctively reaching for Alastor's hand, but then he remembered and tucked his hand in his lap. "Shall we begin?" He asked. His thoughts quickly shuffled through what he had put together, and he remembered what had gone wrong: he didn't have a strong enough argument for his Hotel.

"Shall we begin?" Lucifer asked nervously. Sera nodded, the white eyes on her mask narrowing slightly. She reached somewhere and brought out a pair of gloves tipped with angelic steel. Sera was sharpening the gloves, making him slightly wince every time she brought the sharpening tool down."I know last time wasn't exactly appealing," Lucifer began. "I've gathered more evidence this time. Ahem, so here it goes…" He brought out some rubber ducks out of a random pocket dimension.

"I bet I don't have enough time, so here it goes."

cough cough

"I know Hell's population is out of control, and the Exterminations are taking a toll!1" He moved the rubber ducks around, simulating them chatting and eventually ascending. "It must be annoying to schlep all the way here. Let the worthy go up and that trip disappears! It'll be a Happy Day in He——"

Sera held up a finger, and she cleared her throat. "Let me stop you right there, save us both precious tImE~"

"You need to listen——" Lucifer tried, but was quickly interrupted. He dropped the rubber ducks on the table.

"If what you're suggesting is letting them climb up the ladder, oh they'd rather cross the pearly gates?" Sera's voice went high and mocking before returning to her normal voice.

"Well, uh——" Lucifer started.

"Sorry Luci but there's no defyin' their fates cuz Hell is forever whether you like it or not! They had their chance to behave better——including you——and now they boil in the pot! The rules are black-and-white, there's no use in tryin' to fight it, they're begging for their lives until we kill them again!" Sera grinned, rising up to her feet as Lucifer felt his horns prick through his forehead and his hat brim started glowing.

"Okay, but——" he tried again.

"Just try to chillax Luci, you're wasting your breath! Did I hear you imply earlier that they DON'T deserve death? Are they Winners, are they Sinners, cuz it's cut and dry~" "Well, actually, if you take a look——" "Fair is fair, an eye for an eye, yeah!" Sera flew up into the air. "When all said and done~"

"Said and done!" Emily chorused in the background.

"There's the question of fun~ For those of us with divine ordainment, EXTERMINATION IS ENTERTAINMENT~!" As Sera was doing some kinda guitar solo, Lucifer pondered his situation. How could an angel say something so sadistic? How could he turn this into his favor?

"Hell is forever whether you like it or not, they had their chance to behave better now they boil in the pot!" Sera clapped her hands and golden copies of angels appeared from the walls.

"Where did you people come from?" Lucifer asked, stepping away from the copies with his horns and hat brim still glowing.

"Cuz the rules are black and white there's no truth in trying to fight it! They're begging for their lives until we kill them again cuz frickin' HELL IS FOREVER and it's meant to suck a lot! So you better give up your dumb endeavor cuz you don't have a shot!" Sera flew down into his face, grin nearly splitting her face in half.

"Long as I've got your attention, I guess I should probably mention that we've moved up the next Extermination! I can't possibly wait for another year to keep slaughtering those little RUNTS. They'll be so weak when we'll be back IN SIX MONTHS!" Sera used her angelic magic to push him through the wall and the protection spell placed on the Embassy was quickly filling up.

"Sera, wait!" He reached for her. "Ugh, CHIP!" Lucifer banged his hand against the wall.

~~~~~~~

The Hotel was in view, and he was close to it. He felt his footsteps pick up, excited to see his staff and new hotel resident again. He was too excited to see the fog that was appearing around him.

 He stopped, turning around and seeing a familiar silhouette in it.

 "No…it can't be…Lilith?"

~~~~~~~

A golden drone whizzed through the landscape of Hell, scanning over each body and counting it. "Got a good 275 today, madam."

 "Awesome job! Pound it dangerwings!"

 The two Seraphim bumped fists before the taller one noticed something lying in the mountain of bodies. "Wait, go over there. What is that?"

 "It…appears to be one of us, madam."

"WHAT. WHO-HOW DID THEY DO THIS?"

 "We don't know, High Seraphim."

 "Well, if the demons think they're so smart to be able to kill one of us…let's just say there's a certain place that'll pay the price…"