No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 49

That day, in the gap of the corridor returning from the infirmary to the dormitory.

Ryuseong thought that the person named Cassice Demillang seemed like he would disappear somewhere.

“…”

It wasn’t because he had just spewed nonsense about kissing. It didn’t mean that he himself would make him disappear either.

It wasn’t like that, but a bit more emotional meaning. Letters with a lyrical tone. An idea so soft that even Ryuseong thought it wasn’t like himself.

…Cassice Demillang occasionally erases his smile in the silence between conversations.

Not when people are chattering.

That moment when everyone is quietly going about their own business. Only in that instant when he’s sure no one will be looking at him…

The always sarcastically raised corners of his mouth calmly fall, and his violet eyes don’t contain a clear image, but just like looking down at the horizon, the focus blurs in that fleeting moment.

In that moment when grape-like eyes swim through the gap where blue energy-filled pale hair is bleached by the light and even eyelashes turn pure white.

Each time, he looked like a person who had no land to stand on and live.

‘It doesn’t make sense, but…’

Separate from the dazzling presence that sucks in everyone’s gaze, it seems like he, as an existence, will shatter in the sunlight and disappear with the wind at any moment. Those eyes that vainly grope the void as if there is nothing to return to the earth or receive back from it.

Unlike Ryuseong who had wandered the wilderness eating corpses returned by the land while relying on the earthen feet, he seemed to have never been loved or loved…

At first, I just thought he was expressionless when he was alone.

But from some point on, the fragments of emotion discerned in that silence started to pierce achingly.

‘What the hell are you so sad about?’

Ever since the assassination attempt, he thought he was in danger. If he’s always exposed to the threat of death and the family’s protection is inadequate, if he’s driven to the point where he can’t inform his family of his injury, he pitied him, thinking there must be a reason for him being ruined to that extent. Even if my stomach turned thinking that you, who had been ruined so much just to live like a human, ended up destroying the world, in the end, you were heartbreaking.

However, he didn’t think he would be this precarious.

You, who were expressionless since suddenly running out like a madman with only outerwear and strolling the corridors.

You, who went to get the ingredients of the antidote examined but naturally didn’t bring the antidote yourself, just looked back at yourself as if it was obvious.

When Ryuseong took out a glass bottle from his bosom and handed it to you, you, who looked back at him wearing your unique expressionless face, had a sharp gaze.

But it happened to be at that moment, at that moment, facing your unstably trembling bare hands.

‘…’

Only then did he realize that you were so pale as if you would disappear at any moment.

But you didn’t seem to know that you yourself were palely exhausted, nor did you seem to know what you were afraid of.

Eventually, when you found out the truth about the antidote, you tried your best not to crumble, and for a brief moment, a distorted smile.

But it was momentary, and with one blink of your eyelashes, everything scattered palely in the sunlight, and you hid your hands and smiled brightly.

As if you had never crumbled for a single moment.

As if all these storms surrounding you don’t cause you any anxiety at all.

As if telling me to forget everything.

‘You damn…’

How can you tell me to forget after showing me that? As if you have nothing to possess or return, the person who was always empty like a mirage every time trembles as if suffocating in sorrow for only one moment.

If you’re going to be evil, be completely evil. If you’re going to crumble, crumble completely…

‘Why are you shaking me by being neither this nor that?’

***

After a long silence, our homeroom teacher and the medical professor in charge of the infirmary glared at us with a haggardly dead face and told us to leave since the examination was over.

I don’t know what sin that guy committed to receive the punishment of witnessing our nonsense so closely and often like this.

Anyway, as soon as I returned to the room after being diagnosed that the detoxification was over, I tried to grab Ryuseong’s hair and kiss him right away, but he brutally pulled my wrist down.

I thought it didn’t make sense that both of my wrists were caught in one of his grips even though there was no age difference between him and me, but this was reality. Still, I resisted.

But he only forcefully shoved his thick and large fingers into my mouth and ruthlessly and violently went back and forth, spreading a sticky liquid.

‘By the way, this means he fed me the antidote that was revealed to be a tonic. Haha.’

If you interpreted it differently, doesn’t that mean you’re a pervert?

“Cough, ugh, you can shove it in deeper.”

“…Do you know that talking to you makes me feel like I’m going crazy?”

“Do you get so excited that you go crazy? Instead of your hand, put something else in, ugh.”

“…”

Ryuseong shoved his fingers into my mouth once again and opened a new tonic. I have to take two bottles at a time. But honestly, I don’t know why I have to take this more. I don’t get along with herbal medicine ingredients too.

So I tried to say something while pushing his fingers aside with my tongue, but he attempted a good deal, so I decided to hold back.

The full conversation went like this:

“You might try to say nonsense about not taking it anymore, but if you’re going to say that, just shut up.”

At that time, I was answering with a slurred pronunciation, sucking on his fingers as if licking them.

“I don’t like how my physical reactions slow down when I’m intoxicated by the medicine. It feels like I’m collapsing languidly. Isn’t the midterm exam coming up soon?”

Then he pushed his fingers in deep, making me cough. When I spit out the playfully wriggling fingers with a ptooey, this time he normally held out the tonic.

Of course, I didn’t take the bottle as if it was natural. Regardless of that, Ryuseong’s persuasion continued.

“So take it until the exam to feel light and take the exam in good health.”

“How am I supposed to study in this sluggish state of mind? Let alone the performance evaluation?”

“What if I say I’ll kiss you every time you take this on time?”

“…”

“…”

Ah, this bastard knows how to make a deal?

But I thought it was a bit lacking to easily fall for it. I decided to try to get some extra money.

“Is there anything other than kissing?”

“Can’t you act even a little bit decent? Even a tenth of how you are now?”

“Aha, do you prefer the decent type? Do you like crushing a flawless blank slate? Bad taste.”

“I never said anything like that even for a moment, where did you distort it from? Your promiscuous brain?”

“Oh my, are you embarrassed now that your hidden desires have been blatantly seen through?”

“…It doesn’t matter what you say. I’ll only kiss, so keep that in mind.”

It’s a disappointing result, but still, I got kissing, so it’s a good defense! We succeeded in the deal, and I asked him to feed me the remaining one tonic with a kiss.

“And you know it’s one kiss per bottle, right?”

“So this is what a scam contract is like.”

“You made a mistake from the moment you started dating me. How did you get involved with me? What sin did you commit in your previous life?”

As if he didn’t want to answer anymore, he held the tonic in his mouth and pulled me in. And he arbitrarily swallowed and caressed so that not even a part of our touching lips could separate, tightly grabbing my wrists so I couldn’t even spill a few drops slyly. I resisted with both wrists caught in front of my collarbone, but hmm.

Come to think of it, I belatedly realized that it wasn’t time to resist. If I’m going to get pushed down anyway, shouldn’t I at least climb on top, wasn’t that my attitude? That means it’s okay to get pushed down, so I have to take the initiative at times like this to make something big happen!

‘Haha! I’m telling you I’m a genius.’

So I hugged his neck and gently caressed his back with my other hand. I could feel him flinch every time my hand touched him.

To be precise, I should say his muscles were wriggling. The statue-like sculpted muscles were being stimulated by my touch.

I slowly and gently stroked his back and naturally pressed his thighs with my shins. He was sitting next to me on the bed, and I had my leg over his thigh.

Maybe he got in the mood, he didn’t push me away. But I roughly got the gist. If I fully climbed on top, it seemed like I would be thrown onto the bed like that.

So I pushed his chin away with my fingertips.

“That’s enough now…”

Then, his blue eyes distort. But I have no intention of giving more.

‘You thought it was natural for me to pull you because I was taking the initiative?’

No way. I’m good at pushing away.

I only pulled you because you’re so my type, but in fact, I’m not someone who has ever clung to anyone. If I seduce, I seduce, but I don’t repeatedly say let’s do it like I do to you.

In short, I…

“You’d better stop too.”

I decided to start push and pull.

***

‘Hmm, I guess they do get spoiled if you only give.’

Seeing how you only realize it was precious after it’s taken away.

“Wait a minute…”

It’s evening now, with the moon rising in the twilight.

Thanks to the drug of push and pull working properly since yesterday, as soon as I finished brushing my teeth after dinner, I was dragged into the room with just the two of us and being kissed.

“…Hmm.”

A kiss that seemed to melt continued.

It was the same this morning and at lunch. I was dragged into the room as soon as I finished breakfast, and I said let’s stop before we even kissed a few times. Ryuseong couldn’t even say let’s do more since I suddenly acted like this and only wrinkled his eyebrows. It was a typical appearance of a man who couldn’t be honest.

And as if it was the price for that, Ryuseong dragged me as soon as lunch was over like someone with impatience, and I had to moan as if whimpering in the empty corridor.

Of course, I cut it off abruptly. Me.

‘Haha… Eat this!’

But although I directly did this, it feels, how should I say it, unsatisfying since I keep cutting it off in the middle? But it’s not like I can push him down with strength either.

‘It means I have to wait until Ryuseong becomes proactive.’

Then I judged that a bit of provocation would be effective. Casually stirring the soup, I tilted my head and asked during dinner.

“Do you want to keep your premarital chastity?”

“What?”

“If that’s the case, will you get divorced after getting married?”