I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Suicide

Chapter 82

How long had it been since he was trapped here?

In a place where nothing could be verified, even his sense of time had warped.

It felt like only a fleeting moment had passed, yet it also seemed like an eternity had stretched on endlessly.

They say people go mad when locked in a pure white room.

Perhaps he had already lost his sanity.

What had happened outside?

Had the apostles already launched their attack on the academy?

Since his last conversation, not even Longinus had come to see him, nor anyone else.

It felt like he was the only one left in the world.

Si woo was fully aware of how surreal this situation was.

Think about it—if he had truly been trapped here for so long, he should have felt hunger and thirst by now.

But not only did he feel no hunger or thirst, none of his basic bodily functions occurred either.

This defied all logical reasoning.

There were only two possibilities he could deduce.

The first was that contrary to his perception, only a fleeting moment had passed since he was trapped here.

If he felt neither hunger nor thirst, it couldn’t have been more than a few hours.

The second was that it was due to the mysterious powers of the Holy Grail.

Whatever the truth was, staying here would accomplish nothing.

He couldn’t even think about meeting Hana, let alone understand the situation at the academy.

He had attempted to escape countless times.
None of them had succeeded.

A terrible sense of helplessness weighed down on him.

It felt like being pulled into a swamp he could never escape, sinking deeper and deeper.

What should I do now?

What can I do?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

His tenuous grip on sanity began to crumble.

What drove him to despair wasn’t some overwhelming enemy or a tragic fate standing in their way.

It was just the endless passage of time and the isolation of this space.

Like a rock slowly eroded by the waves, Si woo’s spirit was being worn away.

At some point, he realized he couldn’t see anything anymore.

The once pure white room had flipped into total darkness.

Was it because night had fallen and the world outside had turned dark? Or had his eyes gone blind, rendering the white walls invisible?

He couldn’t tell.

No, he didn’t have the will to figure it out.

He simply let the darkness consume his body and mind.

Let it grind away until he felt nothing at all.

But a voice from the darkness wouldn’t allow that.

“How pitiful you look.”

The voice was familiar.

Yet he couldn’t recall whose it was.

Was it just an illusion conjured by his mind?

Or was it real?

“Sitting there like that won’t change anything.”

He knew that much.

But even if he moved, nothing would change.

If everything would be the same no matter what he did, wasn’t it better to give up comfortably?

“That would erase even the faintest possibility of change.”

A faint possibility?

Was he supposed to walk a thorny path for the vague chance that things might improve?

“If it’s worth the effort.”

Worth the effort.

What was worth struggling for so desperately?

Yoo Hana.

Was she worth dedicating everything to?

A childhood friend he’d spent his life with.

And yet, their relationship had always felt somewhat distant, even while close.

After entering the academy, they’d become little more than awkward acquaintances.

He admitted it.

He had grown used to her presence and let their bond fade over time.

When they grew closer again, it was only because of his guilt over seeing her struggle.

At some point, guilt turned into regret.

Regret turned into pity.

Pity turned into obsession.

His feelings toward her changed constantly, like a chameleon’s shifting colors.

Eventually, time passed to the point where he couldn’t even tell what he felt anymore.

His emotions for her became a mixture of countless hues, all blending into one.

But from the beginning to the end, one thing remained constant.

The memories of their carefree childhood days.

Those times when they were happy just being together, without a single worry.

If he could turn back time, he’d create a world where she wouldn’t get hurt.

And if that was impossible, he’d at least make her happy from now on.

Not out of guilt or regret.

It wasn’t something that could be defined in just one word.

But if he had to name it—

“Because I love you.”

“It’s worth it… of course it is. I swore. I promised to make her happy, even if it cost me my life.”

So I don’t have time to waste being trapped here.

With renewed resolve, Si woo stood up and faced forward.

His vision gradually brightened, and the details of his surroundings came into focus.

Someone was standing beyond the glass wall.

Though his vision hadn’t fully cleared, he could tell it was a man standing before him.

The voice hadn’t been an illusion—it was real.

The man’s face remained obscured in the shadows as he spoke.

“If you wish, I can release you from here.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course. But remember, there’s a price to pay.”

Anything would be fine.

If it meant escaping this place and seeing Hana again, he’d even make a deal with the devil.

“If you stay here, the apostles will lose, and humanity will prevail. The world’s destruction will be averted.”

The man’s words were more shocking than Si woo had anticipated.

More than his life or the devil’s temptation, the survival of humanity itself was at stake.

If what he said was true…

If he ignored this warning and left the room—

“You’re saying if I leave and meet Hana, humanity will fall?”

“You already know the answer. I won’t force you. The choice is yours to make.”

“······.”

Si woo silently stared beyond the glass wall.

Depending on the choice he made now, he would either become the hero who saved humanity or the traitor who doomed the world.

The thought made him chuckle bitterly.

Every academy student declared upon admission: As cadets training to become humanity’s protectors, they pledged to prioritize humanity’s survival above all else.

Si woo had stood at the forefront of that declaration.

He remembered how proud and determined he had felt during the academy’s opening ceremony, a moment he had long dreamed of.

Then another memory surfaced.

It wasn’t as grand as the opening ceremony, with its bright spotlights and large auditorium.

It was under a night sky lit by faint starlight in a quiet park.

No crowds, just the two of them.

Sitting on a creaky swing, they’d shared trivial conversations.

That night, Si woo had made a promise in his heart for one girl alone.

A single, humble promise that others might find insignificant or laughable.

But to him, it was the most sacred vow he could make.

There was no need to compare what mattered more.

“To me, the world is Yoo Hana. Even if I save everyone else, if I can’t protect her, my world is as good as destroyed. So—”

“You selfish fool.”

The man chided him but smiled faintly as he did.

“I look forward to seeing you follow through with that choice. Fate isn’t meant to be followed—it’s meant to be forged.”

“Now let me go. I’m going to see Hana.”

“Very well. This time, don’t fail.”

With those words, the man snapped his fingers.

The world around Si woo was engulfed in a bright light, forcing him to close his eyes.

When he opened them again, the glass wall that had imprisoned him was gone.

So was the mysterious man.

He was curious about the man’s identity, but there was no time to dwell on it now.

Just as the man had said, this time he wouldn’t fail.

At the academy, at the shrine, he’d let her slip away.

But today, he’d hold onto her.

Wait just a little longer.

I’m coming for you.

***

The girl frowned.

Once she stepped outside, she realized the situation was more severe than she had expected.

Fierce battles were raging everywhere.

Naturally, she had assumed the apostles would hold the advantage, but to her surprise, the conflict wasn’t tipping in either direction.

Walking past streets reduced to rubble, the girl reached the auditorium.

What she saw there left her horrified.

She rushed toward an elderly man lying on the ground, but the Green Horse had already breathed his last.

To think there could be humans who defeated an apostle.

At this rate, they might actually lose the war.

If only they had stayed together and fought as one instead of scattering, things might have been better than this.

After closing the elder’s eyes, White Sheep turned to head toward her teacher.

“…Where do you think you’re going?”

A voice from behind stopped her in her tracks, and she turned her head.

There stood a girl who was clearly in bad shape, glaring at her with all the strength she could muster.

“You. You’re the one who killed Him.”

They hadn’t crossed paths at the shrine, so it was White Sheep’s first time seeing her.

But she had already memorized her face from the attendance book earlier.

Valentina.

Perhaps, before losing her memories, this girl had known White Sheep.

Perhaps so.

But now, it didn’t matter at all.

The two of them were nothing more than enemies who had to kill or be killed.

Determined to avenge her comrade’s death, White Sheep prepared for battle.

If Valentina had defeated an apostle, she must possess exceptional skills. But in her current weakened state, White Sheep was confident she could defeat her easily.

“Hup… Ugh!”

Her opponent stumbled, coughing up blood.

No—something seemed off.

It wasn’t just from her injuries…

What happened next was shocking.

Valentina collapsed onto the ground, her body slowly turning translucent, then becoming blurry and formless like liquid.

“What is that…?”

White Sheep couldn’t hide her shock as she watched the scene unfold.

What was this? A unique ability? But if that were the case, why did she seem to be suffering so much?

It was then that someone spoke from behind her.

“It’s the side effect of the Holy Water.”