Transmigrated as the Narrator of a Danmei Novel

Yi Ming's jaw dropped, his knees buckling as his entire body collapsed onto the ground. He stared blankly ahead, trying to make sense of the information now swirling in his mind. Not only had he lost 100 life points in one swift, merciless deduction, but he had been swindled out of 1,000 tael, only to pay a staggering 10,000 for what amounted to a worthless NPC with scab for a mole. His chest tightened at the thought of confronting the truth: there was no going back to the auction to demand a refund. The terms were ironclad—no returns, no refunds. 

He exhaled deeply, the weight of his decisions pressing down on him. His eyes flickered toward the young man standing before him, the shackles still binding his wrists and ankles. The thought of taking him back seemed unbearable. It wasn't the young man's fault, after all. Gritting his teeth, Xue Laohu sighed in resignation, his hands trembling as he reached for the heavy iron shackles. "It's futile," he muttered under his breath. 

"Listen, I'm sorry. There's been a mistake. I mean—you're not a mistake, it's just... I'm looking for someone," Xue Laohu stammered, his voice shaky as he fumbled for the right words. His hands trembled slightly as he worked to unlock the iron shackles one by one. The young man's jade eyes widened in astonishment, confusion flickering across his face. 

"You're free to go," Xue Laohu finally said, freeing the last shackle. The young man rubbed his wrists, where angry red marks marred his skin, the bruises and irritation a stinging reminder of his captivity. He winced, his fingers tracing the sore spots carefully.

"You're looking for someone?" the young man asked, his voice low, as he tucked a few strands of muddy hair behind his ears. His gaze flickered up toward Xue Laohu briefly before darting away, uncertainty etched into his features.

"Yeah, that's right..." Xue Laohu sighed, standing up as he patted down his robes nervously, trying to shake off his embarrassment. "But it's not for anything indecent or weird or—" He cut himself off, raising both hands in a panicked gesture, waving them frantically in an attempt to reassure the young man. His face flushed as he stuttered out, "Nothing like that, I swear!"

The young man raised a skeptical eyebrow, his silence only heightening Xue Laohu's awkwardness. Before he could explain further, the sound of hurried footsteps reached their ears. Through the dense forest surrounding them, the rapid crunch of leaves and twigs shattered the stillness of the dark night. The rhythm of someone's huffing breath grew louder, drawing nearer.

Under the faint glow of the starlit sky, Xue Laohu's eyes landed on the figure approaching. The intruder's face was illuminated in soft, silvery light, revealing rich, earthy brown locks that clung to the corners of his flushed, rosy cheeks. A single delicate mole sat just at the bottom corner of his round lips, adding a touch of sensuality to his handsome features. Xue Laohu's heart raced, his pulse quickening as he set his eyes on the Shou MC. 

CONGRATULATIONS, USER! ENTER SHOU CHARACTER UNLOCKED!

The system's voice blared into Yi Ming's eardrums, nearly deafening him as obnoxious trumpets echoed in his head. The artificial fanfare was loud, grating, but the words were like music to his ears.

USER AWARDED 500 LIFE POINTS!

"Alright!" Yi Ming clenched his fist in triumph, a wide grin spreading across his face. But before he could revel in his victory, the system cut in again, this time with less enthusiasm.

MINUS 100 POINTS FOR NOT ACHIEVING GOAL IN TIME. MINUS 100 POINTS DAMAGE RECEIVED BY SHOU MC. MINUS 100 POINTS FOR NEAR SUDDEN DEATH OF SHOU MC.

Yi Ming's smile faltered as he watched his life points plummet. They had surged to 650 for a fleeting moment, only to dwindle pitifully down to 350. His heart sank. He was right back where he had started, with only 50 extra points to show for. The victory now felt hollow. Defeated, he dropped to his knees, his hands digging into the dirt as despair washed over him.

The young man beside him, still free of his shackles, glanced over at Xue Tuzi, who had just arrived. Pointing a finger at him, the young man spoke, his voice curious but firm. "Hey, isn't he the man you were looking for?"

Xue Tuzi frowned, his gaze locking onto the young man's bruised wrists and tattered clothes. The marks were unmistakable—he had been bought from the same auction. The young man wore the same ragged garments he had before being dragged into prostitution at Lord Chanchu's residence. Xue Tuzi's eyes darkened with suspicion.

Taking a few cautious steps back, Xue Tuzi's posture shifted, his muscles tensing as he prepared for any sudden moves. His eyes flicked between Xue Laohu, who was still kneeling in despair, and the young man who leaned on a nearby tree. "Great," Xue Tuzi muttered under his breath, glaring at Xue Laohu with disdain. "Another lecherous pervert." 

His gaze narrowed, the tension thickening in the air. Xue Tuzi's distrust was evident as he kept his distance. Xue Laohu let out a deep, weary sigh before answering, "Yeah, that's right. We've been looking for you." He slowly rose to his feet, brushing the dust off his robe, trying to appear calm despite the chaos unraveling around him.

"We? Who's we? Don't drag me into your disgusting schemes!" the young man snapped, his voice sharp with offense. He pointed at Xue Laohu, his eyes blazing with indignation. Xue Laohu grimaced, feeling the familiar throb of an oncoming headache. The frustration was creeping up on him, but he couldn't afford to lose control now, not in front of the Shou MC.

Placing a hand on his temple, Xue Laohu took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to defuse the situation. He was drowning in confusion, unsure of what to say next. His mind scrambled, and in desperation, he reached out internally. "Ayo, system? Can I get some help here? A name, anything useful?" 

For a moment, there was silence. Then, the system responded in its usual grating, coughing tone: 

XUE TUZI. AGE: 21. BIRTHDAY: JANUARY 26. NO FURTHER DETAILS ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE.

Xue Laohu's eyes twitched in irritation. "That's it?" he muttered under his breath, exasperated. The system's lack of useful information wasn't helping the mounting tension in the air. He could feel Xue Tuzi's suspicious eyes still locked on him, and the young man's offended glare only intensified the awkwardness of the moment.

"Great, just what I needed," Xue Laohu thought bitterly, his mind racing to piece together a response that wouldn't escalate the situation any further. The weight of the misunderstanding pressed down on him, and he could only hope he wouldn't make things worse.

"Xue Tuzi," Xue Laohu mumbled under his breath. 

Xue Tuzi's eyes widened in shock. How did this man know his name? Not even Lord Chanchu had bothered to learn it—he was only known as Pet 69, a nameless possession. His heart pounded as suspicion quickly turned to alarm. "How do you know my name? Explain," Xue Tuzi demanded, his voice cold, every muscle in his body tense.

Xue Laohu, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on him, ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, nearly pulling at the strands before forcing himself to calm down. He straightened up, coughing awkwardly into his hand as he tried to collect his thoughts. His face took on a more composed, reserved expression, though inside, panic brewed. 

"I… had a dream," Xue Laohu began, his voice steadying as he spun the lie, hoping it wouldn't make him look like some degenerate. "In the dream, I took a man by that name as my disciple. And in the dream, he had a mole at the bottom corner of his lips, just like yours."

He spoke with as much conviction as he could muster, praying that the story sounded believable enough to deflect Xue Tuzi's suspicions. The last thing he needed was to appear as though he was taking advantage of the situation—or worse, as some lecherous pervert. 

Xue Tuzi stared at him, his mind racing. He absently touched the mole near his lip, his gaze narrowing as he tried to process what he'd just heard. "He really is set on that mole-on-the-bottom-lip description," the young man muttered, leaning casually against the tree, rolling his eyes in exasperation. His voice dripped with sarcasm, as if the mole had become the most important feature in this whole mess.

"Ehhh, but I'm no lecher—" Xue Laohu began, trying to defend himself and salvage some dignity.

Before he could finish, the young man cut him off, waving a hand dismissively. "He even paid 10,000 taels for this lowly one's life," he said, shaking his head as he ruffled his hair, causing a small shower of twigs and debris to fall to the ground. His arms crossed, he looked thoroughly unimpressed.

"10,000 taels?" Xue Tuzi echoed in surprise, his brows raising. "That's more than I went for."

Xue Laohu, curious despite himself, cocked his head. "Wait, how much did you go for?"

"8,000 taels," Xue Tuzi replied flatly.

"8,000 taels!?" Yi Ming screamed internally, barely able to keep from groaning aloud. His mind raced as he calculated the ridiculous amount he'd been swindled out of. Not only had he been robbed of an extra 1,000 taels by the auction scalper, but he had forked over 10,000 taels for what was essentially a... well, a completely unnecessary NPC. He could've saved a fortune and gained 500 life points to boot. 

The numbers just weren't adding up—especially now that both men were staring at him with open disdain and disgust. Their expressions practically screamed, *How could we trust a man who goes to auctions to buy humans?*

Yi Ming felt his stomach churn. He had to admit, this wasn't exactly painting him in the best light. "Listen, my name is Xue Laohu. I am an immortal Grandmaster of Sect Mount Dingbu," Xue Laohu began, his voice steady and serious. "I know this is going to sound strange, but you becoming my disciple is preordained."

As he spoke, his all-white robe shimmered faintly in the dim moonlight, casting an almost ethereal glow around him. The wind seemed to answer his call, billowing his sleeves dramatically, as though he had just descended from the heavens themselves. The scene was picturesque, with Xue Laohu looking every bit the righteous immortal he claimed to be. 

Xue Tuzi stared at him, eyes narrowing as he examined the man from head to toe. He certainly looked like the real deal—his robe, his aura, everything about him screamed "immortal." And Sect Mount Dingbu? Xue Tuzi had heard stories about it. The place was legendary. It was said that the grandmaster of the sect had refused over 10,000 disciples who had painstakingly climbed the mountain, begging to study under him, only to be turned away without so much as a glance. It was the stuff of legend.

But the man standing before Xue Tuzi didn't exactly match the image of that revered grandmaster. He envisioned someone stern, imposing, full of wisdom that radiated from every pore. Yet this Xue Laohu... well, he was jovial, his posture far too relaxed, his speech far too casual. His tone lacked the gravity one would expect from an Elder of such a prestigious sect. 

Xue Tuzi couldn't deny that Xue Laohu was handsome, though. His jet-black hair was tied into a high bun, with a few streaks of loose strands framing his face, falling elegantly across his cheeks. His bangs only enhanced his sharp features, giving him an almost boyish charm despite his lofty claims of immortality. The pristine white robe he wore shimmered with the reflection of the stars, adding to the otherworldly image Xue Laohu seemed to be going for.

Yet, despite the heavenly presentation, something didn't quite add up. How could this man, who looked more like a mischievous rogue than a grandmaster, claim to be the one chosen to guide him? 

"I'm interested," Xue Tuzi said, his voice calm as he clasped his hands behind his back, slowly walking toward Xue Laohu. His guard dropped, though the tension in the air still hung between them.

The young man, who had been leaning against the tree, gasped in shock. "You're interested? This man has a mole fetish, and you're interested?" He looked incredulous, eyes wide as he gestured toward Xue Laohu, who, despite the remark, looked completely unbothered.

Xue Tuzi simply shrugged. He'd seen worse, far worse. If Grandmaster Xue tried anything improper, he reasoned, he could always slit his throat in one swift motion. No big deal. He wasn't easily rattled, even by something as strange as this.

Xue Laohu, grinning ear to ear, pulled out his sword, its blade gleaming in the faint light. "Great, great! Now, let's get going!" His excitement was almost childlike as he hopped onto his sword, floating above the ground with practiced ease. He extended his hand toward Xue Tuzi, who hesitated for a moment before placing his cool, jade- like hand into Xue Laohu's sweaty, warm palm.

Xue Tuzi stepped onto the sword with no trouble, his movements graceful and sure. He quickly found his balance, standing tall beside Xue Laohu, who was still beaming. The whole situation was surreal, but Xue Tuzi had already made up his mind—he'd see where this strange adventure led.

As they hovered in the air, Xue Laohu glanced over at the young man, who stood stubbornly by the tree, arms crossed in anger. "You!" Xue Laohu called out, his voice carrying over the gentle breeze. "Come along as well!"

The young man blinked, taken aback. "Me?" he asked, pointing to himself, utterly dumbfounded. His face twisted into a disgruntled scowl as he let out a frustrated "hmph!" before turning away from Xue Laohu, clearly not interested in tagging along.

"Yes, you!" Xue Laohu insisted, not willing to let him go so easily. "I can't leave you behind either."

"Are you not satisfied with one man? Must you have another?" The young man's voice was calm, but the hidden anger beneath was unmistakable, like a knife concealed behind silk.

What do you mean 'must you have another'? I'm not some pervert! Yi Ming fumed internally. His brows furrowed as he struggled to keep his frustration in check. Didn't I *just* say I was taking in a disciple, not a concubine? Geez, do these guys even listen?

On the outside, Xue Laohu tried to maintain his composure, though he nearly lost his balance on the floating sword, wobbling slightly as he placed his hands on his hips. "I can't in good conscience let you go…" he began, catching himself before he tipped over completely.

The young man raised an eyebrow, watching the display with thinly veiled skepticism.

Xue Laohu, now steady on his sword, continued, "You'll probably just get kidnapped again and sold at another auction." He sighed, sounding more exasperated than worried. "If you come with me, I'll teach you the basics of martial arts. That way, you'll never have to deal with this kind of crap ever again."

He sounded sincere, though there was a tinge of annoyance behind his words, as if he couldn't believe he had to explain this in the first place. The wind picked up slightly, billowing his robe, making him look almost heroic—if not for the fact that moments earlier, he had nearly tumbled off his own sword.

Xue Tuzi glanced at Xue Laohu, weighing the situation. On one hand, learning from a grandmaster had its undeniable perks. But did the grandmaster really need to speak in such a crude manner? He sighed, feeling conflicted.

"Do I even fit?" the young man asked, looking up at the already crowded sword.

"Of course you do!" Xue Laohu exclaimed confidently. "Now hop on!"

The young man obediently hopped onto the sword, but the moment his feet landed, the sword lost its balance. Xue Laohu flailed his arms wildly, resembling a chicken attempting to take flight, before ultimately plummeting face-first into the dirt with an undignified thud.

"Hmm, we don't fit," Xue Tuzi observed calmly, still standing effortlessly on the wobbling sword. The young man, now feeling discouraged, hopped down with a sigh.

"We fit, and I say we fit, dammit!" Xue Laohu growled, gritting his teeth as he wiped dirt from his face, his pride taking a serious hit.

"Just let me be," the young man muttered, his tone tinged with resignation.

"Come on, don't give up now!" Xue Laohu urged. Determined to make this work, he bent down on his knees, offering the young man his back. "I'll carry you."

The young man hesitated for a moment, his thoughts racing. If he tries anything, I'll just break his neck, he reassured himself, before cautiously climbing onto Xue Laohu's back. Xue Laohu, now carrying the young man, hopped back onto the sword alongside Xue Tuzi, and with a quick surge of energy, they departed for Mount Dingbu.

As they soared through the night sky, the cool wind rushing past them, the young man—now perched on Xue Laohu's back—couldn't help but notice the elder's scent. It was oddly pleasant, clean, with a faint hint of sandalwood. Without thinking, he leaned in and sniffed Xue Laohu's neck.

Xue Laohu's eyes widened, and before he could stop himself, he let out a loud giggle, nearly losing his balance. The sword dipped precariously, sending all three of them teetering a thousand li above the ground.

"Ha ha ha! I'm sorry, I'm ticklish!" Xue Laohu explained with a bright red flush spreading across his ears, his embarrassment clear.

"My apologies," the young man murmured, a guilty expression crossing his face as he rested his head against Xue Laohu's neck. "Grandmaster smells nice."

Xue Laohu, still grinning, tried to maintain his composure. "By the way, what's your name?" he asked, curiously.

The young man shifted slightly on Xue Laohu's back, his voice soft but clear. "It's Li Zhameng."

Blah Blah Blah

Thank you for reading thus far! I have introduced our main crew (yes I do know Rat Poison only got a mini cameo but more of him soon to come) hope you have at least chuckled once.