This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

Stepping out of the famous Ramen stand and into the summer rain she'd contemplate what to do for a moment, uncaring for the rain. 'The only thing that's getting me sick is Anime Aids after all.' She had a lot more free time than she expected. Considering Naruto was a Japanese Anime, it roughly followed a Japanese school schedule, thus she had about 30 days of free time, barring mandatory training and summer homework.

Truly, if she wanted to, she could probably be so stupidly strong by the time school rolled around she'd instantly graduate. But, that? That was stupid. She would already grow up to have infinite chakra, there was no need to risk anything by trying to force a Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu with no scrolls or lessons to teach her how to do it. There was no need to rush such training when it could permanently affect her mind. 

So, it was smarter not to work as hard NOW and instead focus on the basics. Closing her eyes and facing towards the skies for a moment she'd focus her chakra and... Wham! A droplet of water was stuck to her forehead for a moment before it dribbled down. 'Certainly harder than a leaf!' 

Indeed, she would master the famed Leaf Concentration Practice - which in reality wasn't actually meant for Chakra Control, but instead learning how to use Chakra and learning how to Focus. But still, it worked for a beginner chakra control lesson - another droplet fell. 'Okay, maybe the focus bit is the most important part.'

Strolling through the village with a droplet of water occasionally resting on her forehead before falling, she'd slowly make it through the village and begin to ascend the stairs next to the Hokage monument, making the totally correct and sane decision to climb thousands of stairs while not focused on walking at all.

What was the worst that could happen when she had ANBU and K-chan guarding her after all?!?

The answer was nothing, of course, she made it up the stairs in perfectly fine condition. "You're probably supposed to stop me from standing on the Yondaime's head or something, y'know?"

Saying that she didn't even stop for a moment as she stepped onto her father's head and up onto one of his spikes of hair. Resting there for a moment, still occasionally trying to get a water droplet to stick, she'd bask in the silence and isolation her father's stone head, and the rain gave her. 

A few minutes passed before she stopped focusing on the water droplets and a cheeky grin appeared on her face. 'Technically I've never tried it, but, even if it doesn't work, my bullshit is amazing!' Closing her eyes she'd try to 'stretch' her hearing, her smell, and everything about her outwards. She didn't know how Karin did it, but considering it was thought to be an Uzumaki Hiden or even outright a Kekkei Genkai...

A moment passed in silence. Then, her view, and her reality changed. Five humanoid-like masses of chakra surrounded her. One, presumably invisible resting on the wall of the mountain below her. Three spread out in the forest, and one blended into the forest itself. 'A five-man squad? Or.. a root ninja is the one on the mountain. Maybe not root, but instead Zetsu or Tenzo is the one blending into the forest?' 

Her 'view' of the world began to spread out more and more before it began to encompass Konohagakure, and once more a pounding headache began to crush itself into her skull as titanic waves of information her brain wasn't used to was revealed.

She instantly snapped out of it. 'K-chan some help here!' A moment later the pain lessened, and in the next, it was completely gone. "Wooh that was fun, huh team?" Getting no response she'd pout before stretching, her back cracking. "Ooh! That sounded bad. It's a good thing an ordinary orphan with unimportant parents is guarded by FIVE Anbu, y'know?"

Should she have revealed she knew exactly how many guards were on her, and that they were Anbu? Probably not. But she was Uzumaki fucking Naruko! What would the ANBU do, complain to Sandaime, who'd call her in, give her a stern talking too about revealing where ANBU were, before politely asking her with twinkling eyes how she knew? Besides, better to assume they were ANBU so they thought she was still somewhat of a precious little brat who didn't think about spies, sabotage, etc.

'Besides, that's probably exactly how it was going to go. Which is what I want. Gramps, get ready to be scammed!' Forcing herself out of her thoughts and into the outside world as there was a brief blur and rush of movement around her, she let out a little giggle and smiled wide at a prank done correctly.

Either a Root ANBU that wasn't supposed to be there got kicked out, or they just changed their positions, either way, bam! "You know guard-san, guard-san, guard-san, guard-san, guard-san, and guard-san you can always talk to me! We could talk about Ramen, philosophy, ramen, the eventual heat-death of the Universe, ramen, gramps peeping on the hotsprings, or I don't know - ramen?" 

There was no movement, what a shame. She'd thought she'd get more after saying she secretly had six guards. Oh well. Shame that what was either Tenzo or Zetsu didn't react either. 'Actually, did they?' Focusing for a moment she concluded that indeed, whether it was Tenzo or Zetsu in the forest they didn't react. 'Mind's Eye of Kagura is broken as shit. How did anyone even exist when the Uzumaki Clan was a thing?' 

Humming a little tune, she began to talk more, because she may or may not be lonely, and technically speaking people WERE listening to her, "You know, people say that when it's raining the Heavens are weeping. So, why do you think the heavens weeping now? Did a good person die? Did a summoning clan elder finally kick the bucket? Did Kami stub a toe? Did Nindaime-sama get bored in the pure lands? Ooh, I know! The Leader of Amegakure got bored of the rain!" 'Which Nagato could do at literally any time. Because why the fuck not? I mean, who CAN'T permanently 24/7 infuse chakra into a rainstorm that covers your entire Village? Or be able to keep it up mid-fight against a Sage Mode Sannin? Really, simple stuff. It's not like that Jutsu is Sasuke's wet dream or something.'

 Wrinkling her nose at THAT thought, she'd continue on. "It probably isn't that last one y'know. After all, it's not like Konohagakure's sensory barrier is useless to anything that doesn't require chakra, that'd be stupid!" 'It's not like Nagato let one of his bodies be captured on purpose or anything, nope!'

A moment passed before there was hurried movement around her again. "That can't be true, y'know?!?" Putting on a shocked face for a moment, which quickly broke down into -totally not insane- giggles, she hopped down from her dad's head and back onto the normal part of the mountain. "Well, while you're doing that, I'm gonna go learn how to defy the laws of physics!"

A moment passed before she added, "Yes, I know what the laws of physics are!" Huffing a bit at the audacity of the ANBU that didn't even make a sound, she made her way back down the mountain and towards the Academy training grounds. Were they meant to be closed? Yes. Did she care? Not really. She wasn't going to practice Surface-Walking on her wall after all, that sounded like a horrific way to cause structural damage!

Humming another little tune she sauntered into the sparse academy grounds filled with trees, benches, and a titanic building in the middle of it all she couldn't help but feel a bit of awe this was THE academy! Aaaaand walk face-first into a tree. "I meant to do that!"