The Young Consort Wants to Live Quietly

Chapter 25

***

“….”

“…I’m not crying anymore.”

“But still…”

“It doesn’t hurt. I was just taking a short nap.”

At my words, Gowun bit his lip.

My act of tucking his bangs back and securing them with a pin made his eyes fully visible. Seeing them look so dejected made me feel quite troubled.

After crying for a long while earlier, I had simply collapsed and fallen asleep. The body of a child, having cried so much, couldn’t resist the overwhelming drowsiness.

As I fell asleep, I remembered believing as a child that crying always led to sleep.

When Seoyeon woke me up, suggesting it was time to eat, I barely touched my food and collapsed back to sleep.

Thus, I hadn’t noticed Gowun, who was anxiously fidgeting beside me.

I was awoken by someone gently tapping the window. Tap, tap-tap. It sounded like a bird pecking. I woke up to find it was the middle of the night, and Gowun was still throwing small stones at my window.

And this was the outcome.

“Are you hurting somewhere?”

“No, I was just taking a nap.”

“But you’ve been asleep for several hours, my lady. Should I call the doctor?”

“I was just so tired from crying. Look. Nothing hurts.”

At my words, Gowun’s face showed a great shock, and he moved his lips slightly. After freezing for a moment, he quietly muttered,

“Crying… makes you sleepy?”

Yeah. You lucky bastard…

“When you’re young, that’s how it is. …No, it’s because I’m weak.”

Gowun, who had been skeptical, seemed convinced after I added more to my explanation.

It appeared to be something he had never experienced before.

“Your eyes are swollen. Indeed, something must be… hurting.”

“Crying makes your eyes swell. I’m really not hurt.”

I cut him off sharply. I didn’t want to be treated as if I was about to break just because I cried.

As my tone became firm, Gowun seemed to be wary of me. Now that his eyes were exposed, Gowun, despite being usually reticent, had quite expressive facial expressions. His pale face and big eyes rolling around were quite… cute.

‘There are two hairpins.’

I had parted his bangs in the middle and secured them on each side with pins. The two golden pins in his gray hair were making quite the statement. As I pursed my lips at this, Gowun, noticing my gaze, cautiously asked,

“Then, why did you cry?”

“Hmm.”

I coughed lightly. Why did I cry? That was a really tough question to answer.

I can’t just say, “The Empress is trying to kill you, so I cried to save you. And then I got so angry I cried even more.”

“…Just because.”

At my answer, Gowun tilted his head in confusion. Damn. Cute.

“I usually cry easily.”

That was a lie.

“I cry a lot and am very sensitive…”

That was also a lie.

However, Gowun, being understanding, nodded thoughtfully at my words.

He no longer hastily agrees with a simple “Yes.” Is he focusing?

“But why did you tear up that letter?”

Gowun, who had been deep in thought, widened his eyes at my question. Blinking a couple of times and fumbling with his lips in embarrassment, he soon averted his gaze.

Struggling with whether it was hard to explain or perhaps out of embarrassment, Gowun finally began to speak after much hesitation.

“…That is.”

He paused for a moment after saying that. It was the first time I saw him hesitate so much, despite his usual shyness, which made me tilt my head in curiosity.

‘Was the content cruel?’

But it was unlikely that something with such content would be delivered in broad daylight, nor could one imagine tearing a paper filled with an order from a superior in frustration―with a slightly furrowed brow.

“The content was, a bit.”

Gowun’s nose bridge reddened as he said that. I hadn’t noticed when his bangs were down, but when he’s embarrassed, his nose bridge and ears turn red, almost as if freckles were appearing.

Gowun was twelve but looked younger due to delayed growth, making his childish appearance truly cute.

I could have stepped back like an adult at his embarrassed look, but the problem was the mischievousness that crept up on me at that moment.

“What was it about?”

My voice, tinged with laughter, made the blush on Gowun’s nose bridge spread a bit more. Finally, he started to stutteringly reveal the content of the letter to me.

“Take good care of the lady.”

So it starts with that. The beginning of a letter sent to someone responsible for serving their superior usually starts with a question of how well they are serving that superior.

I listened to Gowun’s voice with a relaxed heart. His clear voice was like a song. However, the problem was what followed.

“If not, I will hang you upside down—”

“…What?”

Leaning against the rocking chair, I sprung up from my seat at those words. As I nearly stumbled forward, Gowun caught me with wide eyes.

I still looked bewildered even after being caught by his arms. Did I hear that right?

“Are you okay?”

Gowun’s voice trembled with concern. I nodded and got up from the chair to sit on the bed. The rocking chair was comfortable, but given my small stature, it was easy to swing too hard and either fall forward or backward.

“I’m fine. Keep talking.”

After making sure I was safely seated on the bed, Gowun continued.

“I will beat you thoroughly, so make sure to serve well. I can’t tell if you’re picking up pig feed somewhere. Does the luxurious food of the Floral Virtue Palace even suit your cheap taste—”

“…Stop. That’s enough.”

I responded, turning pale. Fortunately, my face didn’t seem as pale in the moonlight, or perhaps Gowun didn’t notice, as he blinked his azure eyes a couple of times, resembling a dawn star. His puppy-like appearance made me bite my lip.

The shadow unit was comprised of the elite of the elite. Joining it was harder than plucking stars from the sky, and Gowun passing their tests was surely a once-in-a-century talent.

How jealous must someone have been of Gowun to send such horrific content to a colleague assigned elsewhere?

It would have been an excessive torment for a child to endure. I continued to gaze into Gowun’s clear eyes and reached out to stroke the child’s head.

“…You did well.”

At my reaction, a look of confusion crossed the child’s face. Seeing Gowun tilt his head, I stroked his head a few more times.

“Tear it up again next time.”

“…?”

“…But not in front of Her Majesty like today.”

At my words, Gowun stared at me intently. His face seemed to ask, “Why?” I withdrew my hand from petting him.

“After all, it’s a letter from Her Majesty the Empress. What would happen if you tore it up in front of her?”

In a voice that carried a hint of reproach, Gowun’s eyes briefly filled with hurt. With his lips slightly pouting, he said,

“However, that letter was sent by my colleagues…”

“Didn’t the Empress deliver it to you?”

“…”

Gowun still looked puzzled, tilting his head in confusion. It seemed he was too young to understand that just because the Empress had delivered it, it didn’t mean he could tear it up in her presence.

I sighed softly, about to explain further.

“…Tear it up behind her back next time.”

“Yes.”

At my instruction, Gowun quickly responded. He still glanced at me sneakily. With his bangs lifted, his large eyes rolled visibly.

“Why?”

“…I apologize. My ignorance has angered you, my lady.”

I was taken aback by his words. Angered? Me?

After being momentarily lost in thought, I quickly understood why. Children get scared easily if you so much as frown at them. They react similarly to sighs, dark expressions, or a low tone.

My natural speaking tone tends to be rather monotone. It’s quite a challenge for me to adopt a sweet nasal voice or display cute affectations.

Knowing my voice isn’t particularly pleasant, I try to speak as gently as possible, but it seems my troubled feelings still came through, making me appear angry.

“I’m not angry.”

“…”

Gowun never contradicted my words. Instead, he just quietly observed me. Due to the moonlight, his eyes seemed to shimmer as if filled with tears.

I smiled gently and stroked his head again.

“Really. I’m not mad.”

There was no reason to be angry, especially when he hadn’t done anything wrong. If I had to be upset with anyone, it would be with Gowun’s ‘colleagues’ who sent the letter.

“I won’t be mad.”

As I repeated myself, Gowun’s ears turned red again. Seeing him shyly lower his head, I smiled softly and extended my pinky finger.

“Here.”

“…?”

“Like this, we hook pinkies. It’s a symbol of promise.”

As I showed him with my other hand, Gowun awkwardly brought out his left hand.

Sitting opposite me, he tried to hook his left pinky with my right but soon realized it was impractical and switched to his other hand.

“Promise.”

Saying so, Gowun, with his eyes wide, gently smiled. His slightly parted lips curved softly, and his large eyes creased into crescents.

‘Mirinae gave me a hairpin.’

While looking at his shy yet radiant smile, I entertained a slightly dark thought.

‘That’ he gave away the hairpin was surprising even to me, knowing it was to make a good impression in front of the Empress.

Who would have thought he’d easily part with it?

But inversely, it also meant Mirinae couldn’t treat me carelessly because he was wary of the Empress’s opinion. And Mirinae was quite involved with the shadows.

‘No matter how capable, a person who bullies a child is useless.’

Having given one shadow, he might as well give another.

With that thought, I smiled back at Gowun’s laughter.

* * *

Gowun gazed intently at the little finger hooked on his pinky. His new master was a very unique person, and he didn’t dislike that.

He had thought extending a pinky might involve some grave oath, like cutting it off as a pledge, but here was a promise made in a way he had never heard or seen before.

To Gowun, who had been taught that pinkies were to be cut off for important vows to share blood with the other party, this was a ticklishly novel method.

The shadow belongs to its master.

Good and evil lose their meaning in front of the master, serving only the master’s command until life’s end.

That had been Gowun’s learning. Until now, he had felt neither dissatisfaction nor joy in it, but after meeting Sanya, something began to sprout. Clumsy with emotions, Gowun didn’t know what it was, only quietly pondering.

Hoping for an excuse to visit like this again tomorrow night.

* * *

And during that time, one of the shadows, Yeoryu, shivered and sneezed due to a sudden chill.