Chapter 327: Self-Realization
(From Blue's Perspective)
It was when I opened my eyes that I only found out I had been unconscious. After coming to this world, I lost my consciousness a lot of times and it was a normal thing now, at least to me.
"Wait, where am I?" I mumbled, looking around. "Why am I in my bedroom?"
Did Dem bring me here? Then who would act like Luc's mistress? My job was done and I successfully cut all the black strings connected to the King of Lacuna. But I still needed to act as Luc's mistress. Why would she disappear so suddenly?
"Hello, Your Highness."
"... Flint? Hi," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I was checking Your Highness's condition. Does Your Highness know why you collapsed?" he asked.
"Yeah, I do know that," I mumbled.
"Since Your Highness has woken up now, it means your body has stabilized with the amount of mana that has been produced after using your power. Right now, Your Highness needs rest. Lord Luc suggested that Your Highness rests for at least two days."
"Where is Luc?"
"He is still in Lacuna. He has taken care of the situation there. His Highness and I brought Your Highness here. Everything has been taken care of, so Your Highness doesn't need to worry about anything. But what I don't understand is how Your Highness has become a mage all of a sudden. Trust me, I never could track Your Highness's mana.
I have never heard about it either. I got a huge shock yesterday when I saw Your Highness using mana yesterday."
"How did you see that?" I asked.
"Well, His Highness called me here so we could go there in time in case something went wrong," he said.
"I see... Well, now that you know, you will hear more about it later perhaps," I said. "Can you send the King here? I want to talk to him."
"Sure," he nodded.
Flint was the type of person who liked to know about everything. He always took pride in knowing about everyone's personal matters that others did not know. No wonder he took an interest in my business too. Well, he would not be able to know if we wanted to hide something no matter how much he tried.
The curtains were up. It was raining outside with thunderstorms. It was dark outside. Perhaps it was nighttime already.
"How are you feeling?" Dem asked as soon as he came in.
"Better," I mumbled as he touched my forehead with his. Continue your saga on empire
"You don't seem to have a fever," he said.
"I just feel tired, but I'm okay," I said.
He gave me a peck on the lips and poured me a glass of water. I drank the water completely. It tasted slightly bitter.
"You remember what happened, don't you?" he asked and I nodded. "Then, tell me everything. I watched every single thing, but there are a lot of things I don't understand."
"I don't too, but I will tell you," I said. "Um, actually, when he was knocking on the door continuously, I got scared. I did not know it was him. If I knew, that would be more of a reason not to open the door. You see, he made some bad comments during breakfast too. So, it's better to stay away from him and people like him.
But then, he opened the door with another key. There was no other way to lock the door and I am not strong enough to move a piece of furniture to press the door shut. I don't think any furniture could stop him from entering if he wanted to. You saw it too, right?"
"Yes, and I heard everything too," he muttered, gritting his teeth.
"Um, he wanted to... uh... force me, I think," I mumbled. "It was pretty disturbing. If I said I was not afraid at all, that would be a lie. I was afraid.
But I somehow knew that I was capable of defeating him. For some reason, I knew I would be alright. At one point, I felt like I myself was possessed. But well, that can't happen since I have black mana. That's why I was more focused on cutting the black strings. There were lots of them.
But it was not stressing me out much. It was like I would be fine, even if I cut all of his strings. It was unlike the time when I cut the black strings of the rebels. That time, I felt exhausted and lightheaded just after freeing them. I was caught off guard when he pinned me down to the bed. I think, he tried to bite my neck."
I massaged the side of my neck where he tried to bite. I wondered if Dem saw that part. Dem touched my hand and brought it to my lap instead.
"Don't touch that place," he said.
"It feels like there is a scar," I said. "Why is there a scar? Did he truly manage to bite me?"
"Who knows?"
Was he hiding something from me? Well, it did not matter. A little scar on my neck did not matter much.
"Did you see my kick after that? Perita taught me that! I like that kick since it's very useful to deal with creepy men who don't respect personal boundaries. Anyway, even after that, I knew I would be able to deal with him. After I cut all the black strings, I needed to just get out of there in any way. But he was quite fast and used his power to control plants.
That time, I just moved my finger a bit and thought of something in my mind. Suddenly, a force threw him at the wall and freed myself from the plants. I also somehow knew I would be able to erase his memory. I don't know how I knew how to do that, but I somehow did. It felt natural. And...
I felt like that was who I was supposed to be," I said. "I think this realization was the scariest part."
"Was this much power awakened by that duke of Ataraxia?" he asked in confusion.
"No," I denied firmly. "I am sure the power that the duke of Ataraxia awakened was very less than this. I don't know who awakened my power more. You see, I started feeling a change when I saw black strings around Sapphire. That was also the time when something strange happened."
I told him everything about the time when I felt the instinct to kill his own mother. It was a very strong feeling. If I had not been careful, I would have done something wrong. It was the same day when I saw black strings around Sapphire; regardless to say, it was also the first time, I started to feel a change in me.
"After that time, I always felt that I have more to myself than I think. I sometimes felt the need to express myself more. I also did not like to be looked down upon. You also know how different I was, right? I... I thought I was not worthy of anything.
But now, it's different."
'I feel like I am worthy of everything and more.'
"As weird as it may sound, I don't mind whether you kill someone. I truly don't. I don't mind even if you feel that way towards Mother. Why would I? I never loved her in the first place. But I love you," he said.
"I just want you. Your power- it doesn't matter how much power you have and it doesn't matter if you are powerless, I will love you all the same. I just want you to just be with me."
"I am with you..."
"Yes," he chuckled. "But I am afraid. Do you know what was the first thought in my head when I saw you using that much power? Do you know how I felt when I saw with my own two eyes how powerful you have become and how powerful you will become if your power is awakened fully?"
"I was worried that someday, you will leave me when you will be able to save yourself with no one's help," he continued. "It scares me. It may sound selfish, but personally, I don't like the fact that your power is growing. But I won't stop you from using your power. Yes, I want to, but I won't do that. That's why I am telling you all this.
I just want you to stay by my side and make sure that you have romantic feelings for me only. You can use your power, however you want, I don't care. I don't care if your power is fully awakened. I just need you by my side."