Chapter 29: I Can’t Stop, Even If I Should
I should have stopped.
I should have walked away the second Ethan's lips left mine.
I should have said this was a mistake.
But I didn't.
Because the truth?
I didn't want to stop.
Not when the fire between us still burned.
Not when I could still feel his hands on my skin, his breath on my lips, his heartbeat pounding against mine.
But as we stood there, still tangled in each other, I knew—
This moment wouldn't last.
It never did.
Ethan's apartment was quiet.
Too quiet.
I blinked up at the ceiling, my heart too heavy, my mind too loud.
Last night had been reckless.
Messy.
And inevitable.
I turned my head.
Ethan was still asleep.
His face relaxed, his breathing even, his guard down in a way I rarely saw.
And for a split second, I let myself imagine a different reality.
One where this wasn't a secret waiting to ruin us.
One where I could wake up beside him without the weight of everything hanging between us.
But that wasn't our reality.
And the second his eyes flickered open, the tension snapped back into place.
His gaze met mine.
And I knew.
He was about to say something that would ruin this.
Ethan sat up, rubbing a hand down his face.
"We need to talk."
I exhaled, already feeling the familiar ache of disappointment.
"Of course we do."
He sighed. "Liv, this—"
"Don't." I cut him off before he could say the words, I wasn't ready to hear.
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration tightening his jaw.
"This is dangerous," he muttered.
I forced a laugh. "Yeah, no kidding."
His eyes snapped to mine.
"I'm serious." His voice was low, rough.
I clenched my fists. "You think I don't know that?"
His expression softened for half a second.
But it wasn't enough.
Because I already knew where this was going.
Ethan stood, pacing, pulling away even when he wasn't leaving.
"I told you I didn't want you in this," he muttered.
I flinched.
But I kept my voice steady. "Then maybe you shouldn't have kissed me."
His jaw locked.
I had struck a nerve.
Good.
Because he wasn't the only one who got to be angry.
"You're impossible," he muttered.
I stood up, my pulse pounding.
"No, Ethan. You are." I stepped closer, refusing to let him run from this.
"You don't get to pull me in one second and push me away the next."
He exhaled sharply. "I'm trying to protect you."
I scoffed. "And how's that working out?"
Silence.
Too loud. Too heavy.
And then—
"I don't know how to stop," he admitted, his voice raw, broken.
I sucked in a breath.
Because that?
That was the realest thing he had ever said.
We stood there, breathing hard, staring at each other like we were standing on a cliff's edge.
And maybe we were.
Maybe we had been for a while now.
Ethan let out a slow, unsteady breath.
"This is going to end badly," he murmured.
I swallowed.
"Probably."
A pause.
A long, heavy pause.
And then—
He stepped forward.
Slowly. Deliberately.
I didn't move.
Didn't breathe.
And when he reached for me, I let him.
Because no matter how many times we swore this was the last time—
It never was.
Ethan's fingers brushed my jaw, tilting my face up to his.
And then, he kissed me.
Soft, at first.
Like he was testing the waters of a storm he had already drowned in.
But when I kissed him back, it changed.
It turned desperate. Hungry. Reckless.
Because this wasn't just about wanting.
It was about needing.
Needing to feel something real.
Needing to pretend, even for just a little while, that we weren't already losing this battle.
And when he pulled me against him, his lips fierce and demanding against mine, I knew—
This was another mistake.
Another step closer to disaster.
But I still didn't stop.
Because I couldn't.
And neither could he.
The knock on the door shattered everything.
We both froze.
The world tilted.
Reality came crashing back in.
Ethan pulled back; eyes sharp.
I swallowed hard, my breath still uneven.
The knock came again. Louder this time.
And then—
A voice.
A voice I wasn't expecting.
"Ethan, open the door."
My stomach plummeted.
Because standing on the other side?
Tessa.
Ethan let out a slow, measured breath.
I felt my pulse skid off track.
Because this?
This was bad.
Tessa couldn't know.
She couldn't.
Ethan glanced at me; his jaw tight.
A silent question.
A silent warning.
And I knew.
If she found out, if she saw us like this—
Everything would fall apart.
More than it already had.
But the problem?
It already was.
Because some secrets?
They don't stay hidden forever.
And this one?
It was about to explode.
Ethan and Liv give in—again.
Their secret is becoming impossible to hide.
Tessa shows up at Ethan's door—what does she know?
The fallout of being caught in a lie.