The Salvatore Saga, Part Four: My new Life

"Oops, let me help you. Just wait a minute," Adam's tired voice murmured as he once again lifted me to my feet, so I could attempt to take a few steps and maybe make it to the bathroom.

My recovery was taking time. Although it had only been a few days, I was growing impatient. I was eager to move, despite having weak muscles and limited strength. This resulted in me repeatedly ending up on the floor, as I stubbornly tried to move without calling for help.

Adam supported me as we managed to walk an impressive five steps to the bathroom. My legs were shaking, and he assisted me onto the toilet, making sure my clothes were off my body as I sat down to do my business. I was exhausted. Just walking five steps felt like an immense feat.

Today, I had already attempted to walk a short distance with the support of salvatores or magnum to help strengthen me. However, it was a slow process, as they wanted to ensure it was my body getting stronger and not my powers. Therefore, number two and his pendant were always around, nullifying my powers and preventing me from relying on them.

I had to do things the hard way, and it was making me incredibly frustrated. Even Wulfe rolled his eyes as my tirade continued. I was fed up with my own weakness, and I knew I was being petty and bratty. I had brought this upon myself, but at least there were valuable lessons to be learned from it.

Adam wiped me clean, lifting me back to a standing position. I had to cling to his neck as he helped me get dressed. He was tired, considering it was the middle of the night and he had been sleeping. Nonetheless, he picked me up and carried me back to bed, gently tucking me in.

He made sure I had plenty of drinks within reach and said to me, "Try to rest. You need it. There's still plenty of time to sleep."

I nodded, not really in the mood for sleep, but I didn't want to bother him any further. I let him believe that I was drifting off as I closed my eyes, listening to him walk away and close the door behind him.

Despite what Damon had said, he went to spend time with Mariella. They needed to replenish their energies, as the Salvatores had been helping the wolves and some of them were cooking. My so-called "my five" also spent time with Mariella for some inexplicable reason, which only fueled her jealousy.

I had instructed Alaric, the boys, and the wizards to focus on their work, and Damon had approved. I had given them plenty of tasks to keep them occupied, making the house less crowded. Elena and Katherine had also gone to work at the magic house, where they had a few underground gigs.

I had even assigned Murdock, Dexter, and Colin to specific tasks, but Magnum and Wulfe were still around. I knew my organization needed work, so I had fulfilled my duty and ensured those men were occupied. At least I didn't have to constantly worry about it.

I lay in bed, unable to sleep. I didn't feel tired, and I didn't feel safe enough to rest. I was weak, immobile, and recovering from a nasty illness. I didn't share my issues with Wulfe or Magnum, as they were tired themselves and already concerned about me.

Taking care of me on a daily basis was no easy task. Adam, Charles, the boys, Wulfe, and Magnum were the ones caring for me. Of course, the wolves might also be jealous and try to lure them away, but I knew I would eventually get better.

Adam, Charles, and the boys were still tired and recovering from their own ordeal, as it had taken a lot out of them to keep their fangs in the necks of those females. They needed rest and care, and worrying about me wouldn't help them at all.

Time seemed to drag on, and the night felt dull and overwhelming. I knew sleep wouldn't come my way. It was just me and my thoughts, reflecting on my history. My life had been a rollercoaster, but I refused to acknowledge the fact that I needed Damon and he wasn't there for me.

I was already weak, and admitting that I needed him would be too much for me. Let Mariella have him, let her have them all. She clearly needed them, as she was a lustful creature in need of satisfaction. 

In the darkness of my bedroom, I questioned whether this was truly my bedroom or just one of the bedrooms in our house. My mind delved into various scenarios from my past, filled with countless regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities.

Those moments were lost, as the people involved had long since departed. It was a painful aspect of immortality - losing people, losing humanity, and realizing the words left unsaid when there was still time.

I could try to convince myself that they were in a better place and that it no longer mattered if I hadn't expressed how important they were or how much they meant to me. But these regrets were mine alone, and learning to live with them was a challenging ordeal. 

I had no idea how much time had passed when I heard footsteps in the corridor. It could have been one of the Salvatores checking if I needed anything or simply someone passing by. The door opened, and soft footsteps entered.

As I inhaled, I detected a familiar scent - it was Shadow.

She approached my bed, crawled next to me, and spoke softly, "You can't sleep, can you? I suppose you don't feel safe enough and, besides, you're lonely."

I nodded and replied, "I feel so incredibly weak, utterly incapable of taking a single step on my own. And I don't want to sleep because I know it will only bring nightmares, nothing more. Adam, Charles, and the Boys need their rest, and Mariella wants the Salvatores to have a break from cooking. I'll be fine. It just takes time." 

Shadow understood. She truly did.

"It took time for me too," she confessed, her voice barely a whisper. "At least a day for me to reconnect with my plants. It felt like an eternity for an herbal wolf like me to lose touch with my plants. I was frightened, thinking I had lost that ability altogether. It was a terrifying thought."

I empathized with her, saying, "I can only imagine. But this is yet another lesson for me to learn. Next time, maybe I'll have the wisdom to let someone know that I'm unwell and not allow myself to become this sick."

Shadow chuckled and responded, "You can't help yourself. You are who you are - a self-sacrificing fool who gives everything for her pack. Admit it, you would do the same thing all over again, prioritizing others before yourself."

Rolling my eyes, I admitted, "I hope that I would be wiser, but you're right. My well-being doesn't factor in when I have to choose between others and myself. It's always others."

Shadow glanced at me before transforming into her wolf form.

She questioned, "Why did this start? When did you become selfless? When did your own wellbeing become unimportant?"

I shrugged and replied, "I am unkillable. I can endure what others cannot. It's a twisted balance that I've learned to navigate over the centuries. I was given these powers for a reason – to save others, or at least that's how I feel."

She approached me, her herbal and canine scents mingling in the air, creating a sense of safety that led me to act without thinking. I pulled Shadow closer, without seeking permission, and focused on her muzzle.

It was exactly what I needed. I placed her muzzle in my mouth, sinking my teeth into the skin. This brought me a sense of security, and I soon drifted off to sleep. All I needed was to have her muzzle in my mouth; it had been my safety protocol for a long time.

The next morning, Charles woke up feeling tired. He made his way to the kitchen for some coffee and breakfast. It was still dark outside, typical for September when the days grew shorter and cooler. He was still recovering from the intense rescue operation.

It had taken a toll on his strength and health, and it would take some time for him to fully regain his well-being. Not to mention his energy levels, which had been depleted due to his frustrated and rough encounters with females, particularly wolves.

Charles hadn't even seen Mariella much, as she was involved with the Salvatores. He had spent most of his time helping Mimi, who was weak, angry, and snappy. It was difficult for Charles to remain patient and supportive without snapping at her, telling her to toughen up.

He felt a whirlwind of emotions within him – anger at his own weakness, anger at Mimi for constantly sacrificing herself, anger at the Salvatores for not being there for her. He was frustrated with the situation and uncertain about the future and how long it would take for Mimi to recover.

And then what? Would they go on a holiday, leaving Mimi alone or in the care of Wulfe? Charles felt jealous too, longing for quality time with Mimi that he hadn't had in a long while. He desired her intensely, but life had a way of not always granting his deepest wishes. 

He made a pot of coffee for himself and took several plates of food, placing them in magic circles to warm up. Breakfast was different for feline shifters compared to humans. It wasn't just bacon, eggs, and a few muffins. Instead, it was a hearty meal filled with meat, sauce, and other delicious flavors.

As Charles ate, he reflected on his life. He had been born as a werewolf, and being a wolf had been his identity for most of his life. However, he had evolved and transformed into a feline shifter, which had been a long journey for him.

At some point, he had stopped considering himself solely a wolf and had embraced his feline side. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when this change had occurred, but it had happened, and now he identified more as a feline than a canine.

But how had he changed? What made him feline and what had been canine? These were difficult questions with no clear answers, and Charles had to accept that he might never know. And did it really matter to him to know or share these facts? Not at all. It was just one of those random thoughts that crossed his mind from time to time. It was time to move on.

The succulent meat and diverse flavors of his meal awakened his appetite, and he dug into it with gusto, truly savoring the magnificent feast in front of him. He ate with enthusiasm, feeling his energy levels starting to recover properly this time.

Perhaps this day would be a little better. At least he could spend more time with Mimi now that he wasn't as weak. He felt more lively and couldn't help but wonder how deeply this strange infection had affected the entire pack. Maybe things would be different in the future, as part of the Salvatore family wouldn't be as heavily influenced by the number one.

However, Mariella's jealousy had taken hold, or at least Charles assumed so. She had claimed those five Salvatores for herself, ensuring they wouldn't deny her. It was just the twisted dynamics of the shifter pack. Being an immortal vampire-shifter hybrid wasn't as glamorous as one might think.

After finally finishing his meal, Charles thought he should check on Mimi. He knew that Adam had assisted her in the bathroom during the night, but she might still need help. It wasn't good for her to try to move on her own when she was so weak.

He walked calmly to the bedroom where Mimi was, and something bothered him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something on his mind. As he entered the room and opened the door, he let out a sigh. Now he understood. 

Mimi was curled around Shadow, her wolf form enveloping her. Mimi's teeth were securely clasped in her muzzle. Charles noticed Shadow's eyes moving, indicating that she was awake.

He approached softly, asking, "Let me help you. How did this happen?"

Shadow responded telepathically, her voice calm, "She wasn't sleeping. I sensed her and came to talk. Mimosa had told me how she revived the past a long time ago when she died and put her muzzle in her mouth. I thought it would help, and it did, but she has sharp teeth and strong jaws."

Charles chuckled and gently woke up Mimi. She blinked wearily, but opened her mouth, allowing Shadow to move away. Charles offered Shadow his blood to heal her bitten muzzle.

As Charles came over and woke me up, I opened my mouth, freeing Shadow's wonderful muzzle. It felt amazing to have it attached, but Shadow seemed a bit distressed since I had bitten down hard and kept her muzzle between my jaws for hours.

It was early morning, and as Shadow left, Charles crawled next to me, pulling me close and whispered in my ear, "Shh, rest, honey. I've got you. You need to sleep."

I was sleepy, and he was so warm, comforting, and loving. I mumbled sleepily, "I am a beast. I give love a bad name, so be careful with me..."

His warm chuckle reverberated against me as I curled up and let sleep take over once again. I was safe, being held, being loved, and it felt good to rest.