The Man’s 101st Bad Ending

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My clothes were in such a state that I could not go back.

But if I were to return home like this, what would they say?

Various thoughts came to mind, but no matter what, I could not choose the option of going back.

If I went to the ball with my throat slit and bleeding, wouldn’t people be terrified?

When I took off the handkerchief I had received from Adele, I realized that the bleeding had stopped.

However, the wound remained.

With the blood still on the collar of my shirt, there was no other option but to go home.

A chance to meet the princess…although today was a special opportunity, it was not like there would be no way to meet her again.

Just from what I could remember, there were dozens of opportunities, and if fate allowed it, I would probably meet her again.

So I let go of my reluctance.

If I were to meet her someday, there was no need to be overly concerned about something as trivial as a ball.

Even if my father asked what happened, wouldn’t it suffice to say I met Adele?

For the handkerchief in my hand would serve as proof of that encounter.

For such a woman’s character, it was quite a plain handkerchief.

Just a white handkerchief with the Igrit crest embroidered on it.

I gazed intently at it, then began walking across the garden.

‘…Come to think of it, did she really mean for me to come see her?’

-Come to the north later. Have a drink with me.

Given her nature, she would not have uttered an empty promise.

Both telling me to come and inviting me for a drink were probably sincere.

Then I can use this as an excuse to slip away.

If I say I have a connection to the Northern Duchess, even a man of my father’s character would have nothing to say.

But perhaps it would be better to avoid getting too close to Adele Igrit.

The reason I thought that was because of her future.

In any future, in any situation.

She too would be accused of treason and purged, like me.

It was not a memory I wanted to dwell on for long, so I let out a wry smile and shook my head. Being around a woman like Adele made many things come to mind.

For example, the regrets I had harbored before. Or sights I would never see again.

Thud-

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

“My apologies. I was lost in thought for a moment……”

My thoughts were interrupted when I bumped into someone.

I bowed my head, blaming myself for not looking ahead, but the other person merely stared past me and responded.

As if unaware of my presence.

It was then that I realized the person I had bumped into was a woman.

Gold embroidery on a pure white dress, a spotless white garment that only one person in this country could wear.

Saint Adriana, as soon as I recalled her name, I couldn’t help but laugh. So the saint was here too.

“I’m over here, Your Holiness.”

“Ah, I see. I cannot sense what I cannot touch, my apologies.”

Having lost her sight as the price for gaining holy powers, the saint had long been a symbol of this country.

With authority greater even than the Pope of the Tigres faith, the state religion of the empire, and possessing immense holy powers capable of reviving those on the brink of death.

In fact, there were some who praised the saint more than the emperor himself.

Upon hearing my voice, she inclined her head with a gentle smile.

Did she not have any attendants?

It was quite unexpected to see her wandering alone in a place like this, just as I was wondering, Adriana spoke first.

“You have not said a word. Is it because I am alone here?”

“…Yes, at first.”

“Miragen is my friend, you see. Although the Pope objected, I still managed to come out with some attendants. They should be here soon. I asked them to leave me alone for a while.”

Then – briefly placing her index finger on her lips, she turned her head and smiled faintly into the distance.

“There may also be some who have secretly followed me, so you need not worry.”

“If that is the case, then it is a relief.”

She must be referring to the Paladins who guard the saint.

I understood why she was here.

What was a little surprising, however, was that this was the first time I had met her in all my lives.

I had heard the name Saint Adriana many times, but I had never had the chance to meet her directly.

It was only recently that I had even considered meeting her, as a means of approaching the crown prince. Why would I, who had hesitated even to recruit those around me, commit the foolish act of increasing the number of people involved?

As the sole saint of this country, she was someone even the emperor only met occasionally.

Let alone me, a family disappointment with no standing.

Her pure blonde hair seemed to glow with light.

I had heard her hair color changed the moment she received her holy powers – she was truly a mysterious woman in many ways.

“By the way, are you injured anywhere? I smell blood nearby.”

“I was slightly injured. It’s a small wound, so please don’t worry about it.”

Sniffing intently, she looked at me with a concerned expression.

The scent must be from the wound on my neck.

After a moment’s thought, when I nodded, Adriana looked slightly startled and turned in the direction of my injury.

Although her eyes were closed, she was clearly looking at the wound.

A strange feeling. Blind eyes that could not see were piercing through me, seeing right into my soul.

Now I could not deny it.

“Did you…injure your neck?”

“It was just a small cut. Due to certain circumstances.”

While I said it was due to ‘certain circumstances’, she would surely know that such a neck injury was no trivial matter.

However, Adriana did not inquire further.

Instead, she approached me and gently touched the wound on my neck.

A warm sensation seemed to seep into my body.

A yellow glow emanated, illuminating the surroundings, and then Adriana withdrew her hand and spoke in a calm voice.

“…The shallow wound should have healed completely. But was your injury due to personal circumstances?”

She seemed determined to know the reason for my injury.

I did not understand why a stranger would be so concerned about my injury, but I supposed it was simply her nature.

That was likely why she was called a saint – a woman who healed others’ wounds, embraced them, and felt empathy and compassion.

I let out a wry laugh and replied:

“Yes, personal circumstances.”

“I see…”

As if expecting such a reaction, Adriana’s face relaxed into an easy expression as she turned back towards me.

When I tried to keep some distance given our proximity, her small hand clasped my wrist and would not let go.

“Your Holiness?”

“May I make one request of you?”

“A request…well, since you healed my wound, I can certainly hear you out…”

“I would like to know your name. You may know me, but I do not know you.”

A little taken aback by her sudden request, I soon regained my composure.

Come to think of it, with her blindness, she would not know my face.

Since we had never met before, she would not know my voice either. After a moment’s hesitation, I slowly parted my lips.

“I am Robert Taylor of the House of Taylor . Saint Adriana.”

“I see? What a good name.”

Chuckling, she stepped back slightly, then bowed her head and made the sign of the cross in the air.

As if praying for someone, after tracing the cross, Adriana spoke again.

“The next time we meet, I hope you will not be injured.”

A warm, gentle smile drifted away on the summer breeze.

Yet its tenderness lingered, enveloping the surroundings in a serene aura, unlike when I had met Adele.

As we gazed at each other for a moment, the sound of hurried footsteps could be heard in the distance.

“Ah, it seems I should get going now. I’ll go on ahead.”

“If that is the case, please go first.”

Adriana began walking away, saying her attendants seemed to be coming.

Deftly making her way despite her blindness, until she disappeared into the distance. I quietly watched her retreating figure.

The saint I had never met in a hundred lifetimes, the saint who always seemed to vanish whenever I sought to meet her, as if fate itself refused.

What did it mean that I had met her in this life?

Touching my neck, there was now only smooth, unblemished skin remaining, the wound completely healed.

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“My lord, did you come alone?”

“Yes. There’s nothing for me to do even if I go.”

Renold looked at me with an expression he had been showing quite often lately.

What was there to be so surprised about? Even if I had attended the party, I would have only been a bystander.

A partner was just a formality – the one who had to stand out the most in the Taylor family was Yuria.

Perhaps he was annoyed that I was absent, but it was clear that my absence would not cause any issues.

Even when I had missed a few balls before, nothing happened, so it should be fine.

Seeing the blood-stained shirt, Renold seemed to have a lot to say.

But since there were no wounds, and I had simply returned alone from the ball…well, he would probably figure it out on his own.

At least by tomorrow, word would spread among the nobles that I had met Adele.

No matter how vast the place, rumors spread faster than anything.

Still, this time I do not intend to hold back.

I’m also curious to see what foolish expression Yuria will make when she hears the exaggerated rumor and comes to confront me about meeting Adele.

It will be quite amusing. She is a woman who believes I would never take any action that benefits the Taylor family.

“I’ll be resting in my room today, so unless it’s urgent, don’t come find me. If the young lady is looking for me…just tell her I’m sleeping. I have no intention of meeting her.”

“…Understood.”

Yuria’s irritation would likely fall on Renold to bear instead.

But I did not need to worry about such things.

Today, I would rest and collect my thoughts, and from tomorrow, I would gradually start taking action.

Click-

As the door closed, the silence welcomed me.

Not a single sound could be heard in the stillness, only the ticking of the clock’s hands ringing out in the room. I trudged over to a chair and plopped down heavily.

Perhaps due to the many events of the day, fatigue suddenly washed over me, making my eyelids feel heavy.

I thought about taking a nap, and as I slowly closed my eyes…

-Robert, what I’m most curious about is when you will finally take your own life.

Yuria’s voice began pouring into my ears.

I knew it was an auditory hallucination. Likely a voice from a corner of my memory.

Yuria was currently at the ball. There was no way I could actually hear her.

However, no matter how I tried to convince myself, this memory seemed to choke my throat and rob me of my breath.

With a creaking sound, one of my arms began to be cut open.

My fingernails were crushed and fell out, my mangled fingers already missing a few.

It must have been a memory of when I was being tortured. That torturer was quite cruel.

He was very skilled at inflicting pain, rarely letting me lose consciousness.

My head, fallen to the floor, was grasped by Yuria’s hand.

With that hideous touch, she raised my face and proceeded to hurl malicious words at me.

-You should never have been born. If I had strangled you the moment your mother gave birth to you, nothing would have gone wrong.

Not resentment, but an outright insult bordering on vulgarity.

Those words felt more painful than having my chest ripped open.

For at that time, I was a man who respected the woman named Yuria.

Should I really never have been born? There was a time when I was consumed by such thoughts.

My arms and legs were gone.

Only my torso remained, still breathing, but what poured over my face was cold soil.

Unable to scream properly with my teeth mostly gone, the shovel continued burying me in dirt.

My vision grew obscured – dark and cold, I could only desperately thrash about with my motionless body.

Ah, I had no legs, did I?

But no matter how hard I struggled, that was simply how one of my many lives ended.

In the deafening silence, accompanied only by the stillness of death.

The last thing I remembered were those frozen blue eyes watching me being buried in the ground.

“…Yuria.”

It was only after uttering her name myself that I finally regained my senses.

A cold wind brushed against my body.

Instead of the dazed feeling, a damp sensation made me slowly open my narrowed eyes.

When I opened my eyes, my body was drenched in cold sweat.

Looking around the quiet surroundings, I realized quite some time must have passed, and what I had just experienced was a dream.

It was because I had naively thought I would no longer have that dream if I did not have it for a day.

I had let my guard down, thinking I would no longer see it.

But this nightmare will never end.

How long will it keep chasing me, branded like a scar, clinging to me until the moment I die?

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I let out a faint sigh.

My body was intact. So this pain I felt must have been a non-existent illusion.

Just an illusion conjured by my own flawed thoughts.

In my many lives, Yuria was the person who had killed me the most times.

And yet, how could I possibly think about it so indifferently?

Perhaps…I had lied.

That I no longer had any feelings left, that even if there was a past, it was in the past, and I could simply forget it all.

I glare into the empty space.

The darkness offered no answers.

It only told me to find the answers myself, keeping its eternal silence.

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