The Lord Just Wants to Have Fun

“What? The Lizardmen who settled upstream of the Amire River built a dam?”

Philip’s eyes widened at the report brought by the rangers and knights.

“Yes, we heard rumors from adventurers passing through the mountains and went to verify them. There was a dam made of logs and earth in the valley, and the Lizardmen were guarding it.”

Lizardmen, bipedal monsters resembling Komodo dragons.
They typically preferred swamps and wetlands but sometimes lived near rivers.
In other words, these creatures were the culprits behind this incident.

“But during our investigation, we discovered something even more shocking.”

“What is it?”

“The Lizardmen are using humans as slaves.”

Among the refugees who had fled their homelands due to famine and tyranny, some had chosen to settle in the Prill Mountain Range.
The mountains, at least, had food sources. These refugees typically found safe areas where monsters were scarce and survived through slash-and-burn farming, hunting, and gathering.

“So, you’re saying they captured the refugees and forced them to build the dam?”

“Yes. For the Lizardmen, who depend on water, a drought is a major disaster. They must have wanted to secure a water source for their survival.”

The ranger captain speculated that their survival instinct had driven them to construct the dam.
Moreover, humans had dexterous hands and could endure the scorching sun longer than Lizardmen.
From the Lizardmen’s perspective, humans were ideal laborers.

‘But this is too sudden. Could there be another reason…?’

Droughts had occurred in the past.
However, when that happened, the monsters typically formed what was known as a “Monster Wave” and invaded human territories below the mountains.
There was no precedent of them building a dam.

At that moment, Boris, the Agricultural Minister, spoke with a grave expression.

“My lord, we must resolve this issue quickly. If the river’s water supply diminishes, this year’s crops could be completely ruined!”

“I understand. Captain Carpenter, how many troops can we mobilize immediately?”

“If we leave the minimum number of troops for defense, we can deploy 300 soldiers, including new recruits, and 10 knights.”

“Then we’ll march tomorrow. I will personally lead the troops.”

“What? That’s too dangerous, my lord!”

Carpenter, shocked, immediately opposed the decision.
Monster subjugation was nothing like a mere band of thieves disguised as orcs stealing sheep from the Viscounty of Mirabeau.
One stray arrow could seriously wound or even kill him.

Seeing Carpenter’s protest, Philip raised his flintlock musket and said,

“If the lord refuses to take action in a matter that affects the future of our land, how do you think the soldiers’ morale will be? Besides, with this weapon, I can protect myself just fine!”

There was another reason Philip insisted on leading the troops personally.
As of now, he was the only one who could properly command the musket soldiers in real combat.

He had observed Carpenter and the senior knights directing training exercises. They simply ordered soldiers to charge with bayonets after a single volley.

‘What is this, some Soviet-era human wave tactic? I suppose they’re more used to fighting with swords and spears than managing gunfire.’

“No matter how skilled a Sword Master is, a stray arrow can still kill them.”

“I won’t recklessly charge in, so don’t worry.”

Though some retainers continued to oppose the idea, Philip’s determination was firm, and eventually, his personal leadership of the campaign was decided.

“By the way, Sir Buchini, aren’t you going to oppose this?”

Monster subjugations were costly, win or lose, so Philip had expected the Treasurer to be the first to object.
Surprisingly, however, Buchini was in favor of the operation.

“If the water supply continues to decrease, the damage to our territory will far exceed the cost of the expedition.”

As Philip was wondering what had prompted such a reasonable statement from him, Buchini’s expression turned greedy.

“In return, please collect all the Lizardmen’s hides and teeth. They’ll fetch a good price.”

“Those can be sold?”

“Yes. Their hides are used to make luxury handbags for noble ladies, and their teeth and horns are highly valued as experimental materials in the Mage Tower.”

‘He’s got a terrible personality, but he certainly has a keen nose for money.’

Philip smirked, recognizing Buchini’s true nature, and nodded.

“Very well.”

The Prill Mountain Range was the largest mountain range on the Laterranian continent, composed of hundreds of peaks and countless valleys.
Its nickname, “The Pillar of the Continent,” was well earned.

‘At least the source of the Amire River is in the southern part of the mountains.’

If the river had originated from the northern or central regions of the range, where powerful monsters roamed freely, Philip wouldn’t have even dreamed of launching this campaign.

Of course, Carpenter and the other vassals had fiercely opposed the decision.
The region was infamous as a demonic land so treacherous that even the Arteria Kingdom and neighboring nations bordering the mountains dared not set foot there.

As the expeditionary force crossed the border of the territory, Philip, riding alongside Carpenter, asked,
“Have you ever fought Lizardmen before, Captain?”

“During the previous lord’s reign, a few Lizardmen came down the Amire River and attacked a village.”

About ten years ago, a few Lizardmen had ridden the current downstream and raided a riverside village, causing havoc.
In response, the domain’s military had been dispatched to exterminate them.

“Their hides were thick and tough, and they were incredibly fast. Ordinary soldiers had difficulty dealing with them.”

“And so?”

“In the end, the knights had to step in to subdue them.”

Listening to Carpenter’s account of the Lizardmen’s characteristics, movements, and combat style, Philip began to formulate a strategy in his mind.
Fortunately, he had just the right weapon to counter them.

‘No matter how tough their hides are, they can’t be stronger than armor.’

A smirk played on Philip’s lips as he observed the soldiers marching in neat lines.
In their hands were flintlock muskets, painstakingly crafted by Hans and the blacksmiths.

“Despite the sudden campaign, morale is high,” he noted.

“It’s thanks to the reinforcements and improved weaponry,” Carpenter responded.

Despite opposition from the administrators, Philip had pushed for military expansion.
With new recruits, the burden on veteran soldiers had eased.
Though training had intensified, wages had increased accordingly, naturally boosting morale.
Furthermore, Philip’s interest and investment in the blacksmiths had played a significant role in raising the army’s spirits.

Not only had old armor, shields, and weapons been repaired, but the number of weapons had also increased.
On top of that, a powerful new weapon—the musket—had been introduced.

“After a couple of real battles, they might just become the most elite force in the kingdom’s western region.”

“Just hearing that is reassuring.”

As they entered the Prill Mountain Range, the army steadily advanced, dealing with occasional monster encounters along the way.
After two days of marching, the view suddenly opened up, revealing a lake nestled in the valley.

“There it is! That lake was formed because of the dam those Lizard bastards built!”

At the scout knight’s report, Philip made his first impression.

“It’s bigger than I expected.”

Looking toward the lake’s eastern side, he spotted a dam built from rocks and logs.

Philip pulled out the telescope hanging from his saddle to observe the construction site.
This refracting telescope had been handcrafted using some of the custom glass he had commissioned in Campania.

‘Unlike knights or mages, I’m just an ordinary person.’

Mages using Hawk-Eye spells and knights with Aura-enhanced vision had eyesight rivaling Mongolian nomads and didn’t need telescopes.
But Philip absolutely did.

“You damn lizard bastards!”

Philip’s eyes flared with rage as he peered through the telescope.
He had just witnessed a collapsed refugee being tossed into the Lizardmen’s jaws.

Seeing a human being devoured alive ignited Philip’s fury.
His hand instinctively reached for his sword.

“Kill those damned lizards and rescue the refugees! Charge!”

“Waaaaah! Charge!”

“Charge! Charge!”

The knights at the front, who had been preparing to attack, immediately spurred their horses into a gallop.
Behind them, the soldiers roared and rushed forward.

*****

The Lizardman Chieftain, Avocado, believed himself to be a descendant of Naghara, the god who had created all scaled creatures.
And with his immense stature, formidable strength, and exceptional intelligence, he had reason to think so.
He was so cunning that even the scheming Imps couldn’t easily deceive him.

‘As Naghara’s heir, I shall become the king of all scaled races!’

Originally, Avocado’s tribe had lived in the swamps further upstream in the Amire River.
However, as the rains ceased, the wetlands dried up, and powerful rivals such as the Frogmen tribes and Swamp Trolls began encroaching on their territory.

As they struggled to fend off these invaders, a miracle occurred.
A disciple of the great Naghara appeared before Avocado.

‘Go to the Amire River, conquer the humans who dwell in hiding there, and build a great dam! Then, you and your people shall prosper!’

Following this divine revelation, Avocado led his tribe downriver, enslaving the slash-and-burn farmers and constructing a new home.

With the dam completed and the water supply abundant, the female Lizardmen laid many eggs.
Not only that, but news of their prosperity spread, and wandering Lizardmen from nearby areas came seeking allegiance in groups.

‘Kuruk! As prophesied by Lord Naghara, our tribe is thriving! I shall become king!’

As Avocado basked in his ambitions, he noticed something—
One of the human slaves carrying a log collapsed.

Slaaap!

“Human, get up quickly!”

A Lizardman warrior, standing guard, cracked a whip across the human’s back.
But the man barely twitched, unable to rise.
After a few more lashes, he stopped moving altogether.

“He’s dead. Dispose of him.”

“Understood, Chieftain.”

At Avocado’s command, the warrior grabbed the lifeless body and hurled it toward the riverbank.
Immediately, a group of young Lizardmen pounced.

The air was filled with the stench of blood as a gruesome scene unfolded.

“Kuruk! Eat well and grow strong!”

Once all the newborns reached adulthood, Avocado would begin his grand expansion.

“What are you looking at? Work if you want to live!”

As Avocado sneered with his mouth wide open, Lizardman warriors continued whipping the terrified humans.

Then—

Dudududu!

A sudden rumbling from the south.
Dust rose in the air.

‘Human army?’

Through the dust, figures appeared—
Some on horseback, others wielding weapons that gleamed in the sunlight.
They had come to rescue the enslaved humans.

‘Kuruk! Perfect timing.’

Avocado had been short on labor for further dam expansion, and he needed more food for his growing young.
But now, humans were marching straight into his hands!

“Kurruruk! Kurrurururuk!”

At his summoning cry, over 200 Lizardmen warriors emerged from the water and the lakeside, assembling instantly.

“What is it, Chieftain?”

“A human army is attacking.”

Though the humans outnumbered them, the Lizardmen didn’t flinch.
Instead, they drooled.

To them, defeating a strong enemy and devouring their corpse meant absorbing their power.

“For the glory of Naghara, attack!”

“Kururuk! Kuruk!”

Avocado brandished his sacred greatsword, bestowed upon him by Naghara’s Apostle, and led the charge.
With a feral roar, the Lizardmen warriors sprinted forward on all fours, rushing toward the humans.

*****

At the front of the cavalry charge, Carpenter spotted a massive Lizardman wielding a greatsword.

He was wearing a feathered crown and had necklaces made of fangs—
Clearly, he was the chieftain.

‘If I take him down…!’

Infusing his sword with Aura, Carpenter swung directly at Avocado’s neck.

However—

CLANG—!

To his shock, Avocado blocked the Aura-infused strike with his own greatsword.

“Kururuk! Kill the humans! Eat them!”

“You filthy lizard bastard! I’ll tear out your liver!”

Carpenter retaliated immediately, slashing at Avocado in rapid succession.
But the chieftain refused to fall.

The other Lizardmen were just as formidable.
Though about a dozen were trampled by the knights’ charge, the rest dodged or blocked the attacks.

“Tch, for a bunch of damn Lizardmen…!”

As the knights turned to launch a second charge, Philip arrived with the infantry and gave an order.

“Knights, fall back to the sides! Musketeers, move to the front!”