The Lord Just Wants to Have Fun

How does mass-produce muskets?

After completing the test firing, Philip returned to his office and began brainstorming methods for mass-producing muskets.

“It’d be easy if I just used my Golden Hammer skill, but it requires a lot of points….”

Even arming just a hundred soldiers would cost a staggering 350,000 points.

If he ramped up the production of Zippo lighters and diligently carried out his mission, he might be able to accumulate the necessary points eventually.

However…

“My goal is to enjoy myself, not to work myself to the bone.”

Ironically, even for the sake of indulging in his hobbies and leisurely pursuits, the defense of his territory was crucial.

Relations with the neighboring Viscounty of Mirabeau had already soured, and reports of bandit and monster attacks were increasing by the day.

“No wonder Captain Carpenter was practically drooling over the muskets.”

If he wanted to satisfy both his personal desire for a relaxed life and the territorial army’s demand for powerful new weapons, there was only one solution—he would have to manufacture them himself without relying on his Golden Hammer skill.

“Good thing I anticipated this and expanded the forge.”

Spreading out a sheet of paper, Philip recalled his past life as Kang Hyunsoo, where he had once built flintlock muskets. Drawing upon that experience, he began drafting blueprints and outlining the production method.

Once the muskets were complete, he planned to personally explain the design to Hans, his chief blacksmith, and even give him a demonstration.

“Sorry, old man. For the sake of my easy life, you’re going to have to work hard.”

As if sensing Philip’s thoughts, Hans, who was busy forging weapons for the new recruits at the forge, suddenly shivered.

“Something wrong, master?” asked one of his apprentices.

“Hmm… Must be because I’ve been pulling all-nighters in the workshop lately. My body feels weak,” Hans muttered. “Anyway, how’s the production of chainmail and weapons going?”

Under Philip’s orders, the mercenaries’ standard equipment—chainmail, helmets, spears, and swords—was in full production.

“Yes, sir. At first, I thought it would be impossible to produce a hundred full sets of armor within a month, but thanks to the machines provided by the lord, we’ll be able to meet the deadline.”

“You mean the trip hammer and the rolling mill?”

Clang! Clang!

Hans gestured towards the trip hammer, which was rhythmically pounding away at steel.

After expanding the forge, Philip had provided blueprints for several machines, all of which were typically found in large metallurgical workshops in royal capitals or major cities. These machines had greatly improved efficiency.

Among them, the trip hammer was particularly useful. It automated one of the most physically demanding aspects of smithing—hammering—making forging significantly easier and faster.

The rolling mill, the latest addition, allowed them to thin steel sheets or easily draw wire—essential for producing chainmail.

“Hah… I don’t know how the lord, who never even glanced at the forge before, suddenly came up with these machines,” one of the apprentices marveled.

Hans, his face filled with deep trust, replied,
“That’s because he’s the Apostle of Eldir. More importantly, the lord said we might need even more iron in the future, so don’t slack off on the refining work.”

“Yes, master!”

“And what about training the new apprentices?”

“I selected ones with good dexterity and quick hands, so they’re adapting well.”

This time, the selection process for apprentices had been fiercely competitive.

The famine had driven many young men to give up farming in favor of becoming blacksmiths.

Additionally, the lord’s direct involvement in the forge had further intensified competition.

“In the past, this might not have been a problem, but from now on, we’ll need all the manpower we can get. If the lord keeps assigning us more work, we’re going to be swamped.”

“Sigh… Getting attention from a noble isn’t always a good thing.”

“It’s a hundred times better than being ignored. Train the newcomers well. The better they get, the easier our jobs will be.”

With that, Hans took a break and stepped outside the forge.

******

Having wrapped up urgent administrative tasks, Philip set off for Campania, accompanied by his secretary, Helen, his bodyguard, Terry, and a few other attendants.

He had chosen Helen as part of his entourage because, as a child, she had visited Campania several times with her merchant father.

“My lord, are you only planning to sell those Zippo lighters?” she asked.

“No. I’ll also take a look around the city and buy a few essential supplies.”

The first thing on his list:

Rice.

Philip also planned to purchase items necessary for his hobbies and anything that could improve his quality of life while in Campania.

“But still… it takes four whole days by carriage? Damn, I wish I could just build a car.”

Of course, that was completely unrealistic, but perhaps he could at least create simple suspension mechanisms, like leaf springs, to improve the ride.

As Philip sat in the rattling carriage, lost in thoughts about carriage modifications, the sky gradually darkened into a beautiful sunset.

Before long, they arrived at Silon Village, which was located at the border of his territory.

“Y-Your Lordship! It is an honor to receive you!”

The elderly village chief rushed over, his back bent in a deeply respectful bow.

Dealing with noble visitors was already nerve-wracking enough, but today’s guest wasn’t just any noble—he was the ruler of the entire domain.

“No need to be so tense. I simply intend to stay the night, so please prepare accommodations and a meal.”

Helen, acting on behalf of the lord, handed the village chief some silver coins, causing his face to light up with joy.

“I-It’s humble, but please, come to my home! We will prepare a meal at once!”

A short while later, the village bustled with activity as people hurried to slaughter chickens, roast pork, and prepare a feast.

When the food was served, Philip and his group ate heartily, enjoying the lively atmosphere.

However, Helen seemed more interested in the young women who were serving food than in the meal itself.

“…Their skin is so smooth.”

“Hm? What did you just say?” Philip asked.

“Oh, um, it’s just… the villagers look surprisingly clean and well-kept,” Helen quickly corrected herself.

Philip turned his gaze to the villagers, taking a closer look.

It was strange.

Hygiene standards were poor, and fetching clean water wasn’t easy, even for the residents of his castle town—many of whom suffered from skin conditions or filth.

Yet here, in a rural village, where conditions should be even worse and farm work should have left tanned and rough skin, the villagers all looked unusually clean and radiant.

“You there, chief.”

Hearing Philip’s voice, the village chief, who had just retrieved a bottle of wine from storage, hurried over.

“Yes, my lord! Do you require anything?”

“No, I just have a question. The people in Silon Village have remarkably clean skin, and I don’t see anyone suffering from common ailments. Why is that?”

“Ah… that, my lord…”

The village chief hesitated before finally explaining.

A few months ago, during a drought, the villagers had dug a well on the outskirts of the village. However, instead of regular water, hot water had gushed out.

“A… hot spring?”

“Yes, my lord. At first, the water tasted odd, but since we had already dug it, we figured we might as well make use of it. So after finishing farm work, we started bathing in it.”

Then, something unexpected happened.

One day, a farmer who had injured his hand washed his wound with the hot spring water, and the wound healed unusually fast.

The news quickly spread, and soon, everyone in the village began washing their faces and bathing in the water.

Since then, no one had gotten sick, and everyone’s skin became noticeably healthier.

“That sounds like some kind of healing potion nonsense,” Helen muttered, clearly skeptical.

Looking offended, the village chief protested,
“But it’s true, my lady! I used to suffer from terrible back pain, but after bathing in the hot spring, it vanished completely!”

“If it’s so great, why didn’t you report it to us sooner?” Helen asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Well… that’s…”

The village chief shrunk back, lowering his voice.

“The Chief Administrator, Robert, told us to keep it a secret… He said that if word got out, we’d be evicted, and our village would be taken away….”

“Hah! That old fox Robert…!”

Apparently, Robert had even built a private villa next to the hot spring and had been secretly using it for himself.

The cunning old man had deliberately kept it hidden, wanting exclusive access.

“No wonder he’s so spry for his age…!”

Philip, now highly intrigued, quickly finished his meal and stood up.

“Lead me to the hot spring. I want to inspect it myself.”

Following the village chief, Philip’s group walked toward the outskirts of the village.

There, they found a villa—undoubtedly Robert’s private retreat.

Beside the villa stood a wooden storage shed, and upon entering, they saw a large, steaming well along with a big wooden bath filled with hot spring water.

“Let’s see…”

Philip scooped up some water from the well and took a sip.

The taste was astringent yet slightly fizzy, indicating a high concentration of carbonic acid and minerals.

“This is just like Chojeong mineral water.”

In Joseon-era Korea, King Sejong was known to have used Chojeong mineral water to treat eye diseases and skin conditions.

However, Chojeong water didn’t have any wound-healing properties like this spring seemed to.

Intrigued, Philip removed his clothes and lowered himself into the wooden bath filled with hot spring water.

“Damn! This feels amazing!”

As he soaked, the travel fatigue melted away, leaving him completely refreshed and invigorated.

Wanting to gather more objective data, Philip urged his attendants to try bathing as well.

“The rashes on my skin are disappearing instantly!”

“My body feels so light, like I could fly!”

“I’ve had a sore shoulder since it got dislocated two years ago, but now it doesn’t hurt at all!”

“We should seriously pipe this water all the way to the lord’s castle!”

After taking turns in the bath, the attendants were unanimous in their praise.

Among them, Helen was especially impressed.

Her skin, now noticeably more radiant, seemed to glow under the torchlight.

“Aah… This hot spring must be blessed by Arkina, the Goddess of Water and Healing. We should build a shrine here to honor her divine grace.”

At that moment, Mau suddenly materialized, furious.

<“That impudent woman! How dare she mention another god in the presence of Eldir’s Apostle?! Apostle, fire her immediately!”>

Philip, however, completely ignored him.

‘Even if it’s another deity, if we receive something good, we should at least show some gratitude.’

According to Mau, before the drought, Arkina had sent an oracle to her High Priests in the Grand Water Temple, saying:

“I have lost faith in humanity.”

The priests were so shocked that they kept the message a secret, fearing widespread panic.

‘What is she, a drill sergeant? What the hell did we do to disappoint her?’

<“No one knows! She caused a huge uproar in the Celestial Realm and then shut herself away in isolation!”>

It was true that humans were flawed, often making foolish mistakes.

But a god’s role—especially one among the Twelve Great Deities—was to guide and nurture their followers.

Yet she had abandoned her duty entirely.

‘By the way, aren’t you an angel? Is it really okay for you to be badmouthing another god?’

<“Of course. I am Eldir’s servant, not Arkina’s. Besides, everyone in the Celestial Realm agrees she’s in the wrong.”>

‘So basically, as long as she’s not your direct superior, you don’t mind criticizing her?’

<“Exactly. But you, on the other hand, should keep your mouth shut. There’s no need to make enemies among the gods.”>

Now fully convinced of the hot spring’s incredible effects, an idea suddenly struck Philip.

“Medical tourism was a big trend back in Korea… Maybe I could start something similar here?”