The light in your nightmares

Of course he can't sleep.

He focuses his attention on the carved owls above him. Everything is done with so much care and detail that each feather is discernible in the chaotic spiral formed by this aerial massacre.

The eternally lit candles held by one of the heels let the wax flow along the stone before drying.

Dust is as if dissociated from reality, lying among the dark green sheets only seems paler.

His gaze returns to the mirror in front of the bed, and he looks at himself as he would look at a stranger.

His dark circles seem even more pronounced than when he first woke up in the castle.

His own eyes stare at him without flinching.

Here the sound of the wind is discreet and the rest of the building is silent like a cathedral.

He stays there for a while.

Doing nothing.

Then he stands up, his bare feets touching the white carpet.

He positions himself in front of the mirror, observes himself again.

Behind its reflection the door is there, worrying by the mere possibility that someone else could open it.

he blocks it with the bedside table.

However, he changes his mind after some reflections.

He moves the bedside again, opens the door which leads to the small living room.

Block the door that leads to the hallway with one of the green sofas.

He then come back to his room, take some new clothes from the closet, and then go to the bathroom.

There too he stops.

Like the first time, the bathtub is already filled with hot water.

Steam rises before his eyes.

He grimaces and despite knowing that he is clean, undresses to wash.

Now in the bath, he start to think again, coming back to reality slowly.

He represses his emotions as best he can and summarizes everything he has just experienced.

From the mine to the swamp.

He hears someone knocking at the door.

He remains in the water without moving.

-Dust, I heard a noise, is it okay?

Red waits a moment then having no answer he repeats his question.

The boy hears him trying to open the door, the wood of it touching the armchair which prevents him from opening a crack.

To stop the man Dust, still in the water, shouts a bit dryly:

-Everything is fine!

The red-haired man seems to leave once reassured. Without saying another word.

The boy come back to his thoughts:

I must think and act calmly and prudently.

What happened to the swamp was a mistake.

But the most important thing is that i am alive. I 've survived.

In any case, we had to cross the lake at all costs.

And for that it had to be done in a group.

Yes i lied to get there.

Yes Handsome died when he probably could have stayed behind and survived if I had deduced the rule before lying.

Yes, I risked the lives of others out of pure selfishness.

But I am alive. And I am not the only one to have survived.

We, Red and me, had to convince them all to come across the lake.

Guilt and regret will get me nowhere.

How many of these... nightmares does I have left? 5? 6?

Dust slowly slides into the water.

From chin to nose and from nose to forehead. He holds his breath and lets himself be submerged for a brief moment.

.

Why would he accept this kind of surreal game? What wish deserves all this?

Is he dead? Is this some kind of Hell? Or is he really crazy?

Handsome's blue face comes to mind, followed closely by One's agonized expression in the mine.

He lifts his head from the water almost in panic. His sudden movement splashes the bathroom floor.

He takes a deep breath.

The boy would rather believe that he is crazy rather than the other...theories that come to mind.

One of his hands runs over his face to remove the drops of water that are blurring his vision.

Under his fingers he feels a few small scars around his eyes.

He inhales a second time forcefully.

The faces of the others come back to his mind. Those of the mad natives, those he fought against, those he killed, and the one in the boat.

This man with his rifle who seemed so real, so peaceful...

Dust buries these memories deep within him, his stomach twisting so much that acid rises into his throat.

In the end these thoughts go in circles and always come back to the same conclusion.

What is done and done. There is no going back.

He must continue to move forward.

He must survive.

And if after having survived all that he really has the right to a wish that means he has an end to all these horrors.

He just has to endure until then.

As long as there is an escape, there is hope.

Dust grimaces, then smiles in a forced manner. he smiles into space.

The water has become lukewarm and he comes out of the water reluctantly.

He dresses in his new clothes, collects his blue stones which sparkle like precious jewels under the candles and finds a sort of belt in the cupboard for his knife which he received in the swamp.

Then he waits in the small living room. Trying as best he could to find the courage to leave his room.

Before finding a sufficient quantity he hears a knock on Red's door.

He hears the man's voice answering Potatoes.

The boy finally decides to go out.

The two mens turn towards him.

The stocky guy gives him an unfriendly but not aggressive look before telling him

calmly:

-We have to go down. Everyone need to go down. We need to talk.