The Disastrous Life of Saiki

(Saiki is casually observing from a distance as Kaidou and Yumehara stand near the school entrance. Yumehara, blushing and nervously playing with her hair, is trying to gather the courage to confess her feelings to Kaidou.)

Yumehara (thinking): This is it, Yumehara! You can do this! Just tell him how you feel. He's so cool and mysterious. I know we're meant to be together!

(She takes a deep breath and approaches Kaidou, who is busy doing a dramatic pose.)

Yumehara: K-Kaidou! I... I wanted to talk to you about something.

Kaidou (eyes narrowing, glancing around): Ah, I see. You've sensed it too, haven't you?

Yumehara (confused but hopeful): Huh? Uh… I mean, yes! I wanted to talk about… us.

Kaidou (serious): "Right. 'Us,' as in the resistance against the Dark Reunion! I knew it. You've finally realized your potential, haven't you, Yumehara? You're ready to join my elite squad of warriors!

(Yumehara blinks, confused, but Kaidou's expression keeps her from correcting him right away.)

Yumehara (nervously): Wait, no, that's not really what I—

Kaidou (cutting her off, crossing his arms dramatically): I've been waiting for this day. The Dark Reunion won't stand a chance with you by my side. Your timing is perfect, Yumehara. They're planning something big, and I need a partner I can trust!

(Saiki, watching from the side, sighs internally.)

Saiki (thinking): Here we go again. She's trying to confess, and Kaidou thinks she's joining his imaginary army. This can only end in disaster.

(Yumehara, flustered, tries again, determined to get her feelings to him.)

Yumehara: Um, Kaidou… what I really wanted to say was… I like you. A lot.

Kaidou (nods seriously): Of course you do. Everyone respects a warrior who fights for justice. But liking me isn't enough, Yumehara. This mission is dangerous. You have to be prepared for anything.

Yumehara (thinking): Wait, does that mean… is he saying I need to prove my love by standing by his side?

(She blushes even more, thinking Kaidou's talking about a serious relationship.)

Yumehara (determined): Yes! I'll stand by your side, no matter what!

Kaidou (clutching his fist): Good! We need allies in this battle against darkness. I'll start your training tomorrow. Be prepared for intense mental and physical challenges.

(Yumehara, misinterpreting everything, thinks Kaidou is taking her seriously as a romantic partner.)

Yumehara (thinking): Wow, he's really taking this seriously! He must really care about me if he wants to train me personally!

(Suddenly, Nendou and Teruhashi pass by, overhearing bits of the conversation.)

Nendou (grinning): Yo, Kaidou! What's this about training? Are you and Yumehara doing some kind of couple's workout?

Teruhashi (smiling sweetly): Oh, that's so cute! I didn't know you two were dating.

Yumehara (blushing even harder): Wait, no, we're not—

Kaidou (cutting her off, standing proudly): This is no time for romance, Nendou! We're preparing for battle. The Dark Reunion is making their move, and Yumehara has volunteered to help us fight!

Nendou (laughing): Dark Reunion? Man, you're still on about that? You're too much, Kaidou.

Teruhashi (nodding knowingly): So, it's not a date? That's a relief. I didn't want Yumehara to get her heart broken. You know how Kaidou can be.

(Yumehara is on the verge of tears, frustrated that no one understands her true feelings.)

Yumehara (thinking): No, that's not it at all! Why does everyone misunderstand?!

(Saiki, watching this chaotic scene unfold, knows that it's only going to get worse if he doesn't intervene.)

Saiki (thinking): It's always the same with these idiots. I can't believe I'm doing this…

(Saiki steps in, casually placing himself between the group.)

Saiki (to Kaidou): Kaidou, about the Dark Reunion… there's something you should know.

Kaidou (intensely): What is it, Saiki? Have you uncovered a new lead?

Saiki: "No. They don't exist."

Kaidou (gasps): What?!

Nendou (laughing): See, told ya!

(Teruhashi nods in agreement, while Yumehara looks utterly lost.)

Yumehara (thinking): Wait, what is going on?

Saiki (thinking): At least this will stop the misunderstandings.

Yumehara (suddenly remembering her purpose): But Kaidou, what I was really trying to say earlier was—

(Saiki cuts her off, knowing where this is headed.)

Saiki: Good grief.

(Kaidou looks at Saiki with determination, ignoring Yumehara completely.)

Kaidou: Saiki, I understand. You're trying to protect me from the truth, but I won't let the Dark Reunion go unchecked. Yumehara and I will take them down, even if they're hidden!

They are true i know it ,(about to break down from the inside)

(Saiki sighs deeply, realizing he can't fix this level of delusion.)

Saiki (thinking): Good grief.