The Disastrous Life of Saiki

Saiki (thinking): Great. Another day of dealing with the usual idiots. At least it's Friday. Just have to survive today… wait, why are Kaidou and Nendou waiting for me outside? This is never good.

Kaidou and Nendou stand at the school gates, both looking unusually excited.

Kaidou (dramatically): Saiki! There you are! It's time for… The Rebellion!

Nendou (grinning): Yeah, buddy! We're skipping school today. Cool, right?

Saiki (thinking): Skipping school? These morons seriously think they can get away with this?

Kaidou (leaning in, whispering): I've sensed an evil aura in the city. The Dark Reunion is plotting something big, and we can't just sit here in class!

Saiki (thinking): Dark Reunion again? Why am I friends with these people?

Nendou: So, how about it, buddy? Let's blow off school and check out the city!

Saiki (thinking): On second thought, skipping school means I don't have to listen to lectures, and maybe I can get some peace. Fine, I'll play along, but I'll make sure it ends quickly.

Saiki gives a slight nod, and Nendou pumps his fist.

Nendou: Yeah, buddy! Knew you'd be in!

Kaidou (clutching his fist): For the sake of justice, we must investigate. Stay vigilant, Nendou, Saiki. The enemy could be anywhere!

Saiki (thinking): The only enemy here is my sanity.

As the trio walks away from the school, Teruhashi suddenly appears, a radiant smile on her face.

Teruhashi (perfectly composed): Oh, Saiki! What a coincidence! You're skipping school too?

Saiki (thinking): Of course she'd show up. I can't even skip class without her popping up like this. I should've just stayed home.

Nendou (laughing): Oh, Teruhashi! Join the team! We're all heading to the city!

Kaidou: Oh, Teruhashi! We're on a mission to fight the Dark Reunion!

Teruhashi (blushing slightly): Oh my gosh, is Saiki part of this too? How cool! I guess it can't hurt to tag along.

Saiki (thinking): It absolutely can hurt. This day just got ten times worse.

(The group explores the city).

Kaidou (pointing to random people in the city): Look at that guy! Totally suspicious. He must be a Dark Reunion agent!

Saiki (thinking): Nope, he's just a guy on his way to work. Not everything is a conspiracy.

Teruhashi (thinking): I get to spend the whole day with Saiki! He must be so impressed that I'm not afraid to break the rules and skip school!

Nendou: Let's get some ramen, huh? All this walking around has me starving!

Kaidou: No time for food, Nendou! We're on a mission!

Saiki (thinking): A mission to waste my time.

(They end up at a café, where Nendou orders enough food for the whole table.)

Nendou: You guys gotta try this! Best ramen in town!

Kaidou (whispering to Saiki): Be on your guard, Saiki. Dark Reunion agents love to poison food.

Saiki (thinking): There's no poison. The only danger here is Nendou's eating habits.

Teruhashi, sitting across from Saiki, attempts to look casual.

Teruhashi (blushing): So, Saiki… what do you think of skipping school? It's kind of exciting, right?

Saiki (thinking): No, it's a waste of time. But telling her that would just make her think I'm mysterious or something.

(Just as Teruhashi tries to open more conversations,Nendou slurps his noodles loudly, interrupting the moment.)

Nendou (grinning): This is the life! Who needs school when you got noodles and friends?

Kaidou: Nendou, you fool! We're supposed to be hunting the Dark Reunion, not filling our stomaches!

Saiki (thinking): I knew this was going to be a long day.

(After finishing their meal, the group goes around the city. Kaidou keeps pointing out random strangers as enemies, and Nendou keeps dragging everyone to different food restaurants.)

Teruhashi (thinking): This is perfect! Saiki and I are spending time together, even if Nendou and Kaidou are here… How can he not fall for me after a day like this?

Saiki (thinking): This is anything but perfect. At least I'm not in class…

As the sun starts to set, Kaidou dramatically poses in front of a fountain.

Kaidou: We did it! We destroyed the Dark Reunion's plans! Today was a victory for justice!

Saiki (thinking): We did nothing. Literally nothing. This day was pointless.

Nendou (patting Saiki on the back): Great day, huh, Saiki? We should skip school more often!

Saiki (thinking): Definitely not.

Teruhashi (smiling): It was fun hanging out with you, Saiki. We should do it again sometime.

Saiki (thinking): Never again.

(As they all prepare to head home, Kaidou suddenly stops, looking serious.)

Kaidou: Wait… what if… this was all part of their plan?

Saiki (thinking): I'm teleporting home. Right now.

(Saiki disappears instantly, leaving Kaidou,Nendou and Teruhashi look confused.)

Nendou: Huh? Where'd Saiki go?

Kaidou (nodding): He's already moving to the next phase of the mission. Truly a hero of justice.

Teruhashi (blushing): So cool…

Saiki (now at home, thinking): I should've skipped the whole day entirely. Good grief.

Kids don't skip school,or if skip do it alone.