The 100: A New Beginning Part 1: Healing Wounds

At the same time...

"I can't stay in this room any longer," Clarke let out as she put away her sketchbook.

"But your mother said..." Madi replied immediately, as if she had been waiting for her to say that sentence.

"And you didn't listen to me when…" Clarke returned reproachfully in a stilted manner.

"I know Clarke..." Madi said meekly and annoyed at the same time. "But this is different. There might be one of the prisoners out there..."

"Or someone from our people, out to kill Octavia for what she did. I can't let that happen..." Clarke added as she turned her head to look directly into Madi's shining eyes.

"So you are not angry with her?" Madi asked her curiously, remembering all too well every detail of what had happened between them.

"Most of us have done terrible things in the last few weeks. I don't want to drown in those feelings anymore. I want to move on..." She said, but paused and turned all the way around to Madi, gently placing her hands on hers. "Because that's all I can think about."

Madi said nothing and gave her a firm nod instead, but Clarke didn't even notice as she came closer and hugged her tightly. The pain was terrible, but the feeling was much sweeter. And she could feel Madi's hands embracing her as well. Tightly.

Even though Clarke didn't want this moment to end, she suddenly pulled away from their embrace and even backed away slightly, as if something scary had just happened. In a way, it did, as Clarke could feel her heart begin to race with worry. But probably even fear. 

"Your head..." Clarke breathed. Madi could tell from her tone that the sometimes annoying and worrying side of Clarke had managed to come through again. Her mother instinct, which she showed to everyone she cared about, but especially to her. As much as she even loved that part of her. Just not in situations like this. And before Madi could even think what could be wrong with her head, she felt Clarke's cold hand brush against her cheek.

"Your steaming hot"

"It's warm in here," Madi explained, using the next best excuse her head could come up with. She already knew that this was a pretty bad lie, but maybe it would buy her some time to assess the situation and perform a self-diagnosis. She didn't feel any different, except for the habit of increased hunger and fatigue, most likely due to the needs of the flame interacting with her body. "Anyway, if you were sick, you weren't hungry," Madi reassured herself.

But Clarke didn't listen to her pathetic excuse as she took the temperature of her forehead and neck with her bare hands. And she didn't need a thermometer to see that this wasn't right. When Clarke's hand touched the exact spot where the flame rested, Madi felt a small, sharp jolt that went through her entire body like lightning and made her jerk a little. She took a quick breath. Even though she trusted Clarke, she still felt uncomfortable knowing her strong resentment against the flame. Especially now that Clarke had the power to remove the flame from her neck. But she was also uncomfortable because she felt guilty about taking the flame against Clarke's will.

"Lexa wouldn't allow Clarke to take out the flame..." She continued to reassure herself. But what could Lexa do anyway? Her spirit only existed in the flame and therefore in her head. And Madi wasn't so sure that another ghost of Lexa would appear from the afterlife to change Clarke's mind. Or could she? 

At one point, Clarke told her that she sometimes suspected that her father was watching over her all the time. But probably she only believed in these events and coincidences to still feel connected to her father. And maybe she was right, maybe it was one of her dead loved ones like her mother, Lexa or Jake Griffin who really led Clarke to the valley. To find and save her. Maybe they kept an eye on them so far to protect them. Even though it sounded more like a fairy tale, part of her hoped it might be true. 

But maybe it was just their destiny. To find each other and to survive. And most importantly: To be a family. She watched Clarke's widened blue eyes focus on her with increasing caution.

"I'm fine Clarke…"

"And I am a doctor. At least enough to see that this isn't right..." Clarke muttered, trying to think of her next step.

"I'm fine Clarke" Madi said, now much more vehemently.

"So if you're okay, I'm okay..." Clarke countered immediately after she had said the sentence she wanted to hear from her.

"Claaahharke," Madi moaned loudly, much to Clarke's inner satisfaction.

"You tricked me..." Madi realized indignantly.

"Then we are even now," Clarke declared with a victorious smile on her face. 

"What are we going to do now?" Madi asked her curiously.

"Since you have chosen to keep the flame, you should accept the responsibilities that come with it..." Clarke began to explain. But it sounded more like a lecture. Seeing Madi's questioning face, she quickly added, "That means we should find Gaia so she can give you a few lessons on how to live with that thing inside your neck..."

"It's not a thing..." Madi countered.

"It is..." Clarke said with sparkling eyes. Seeing Madi's growing anger at what she had just said, she decided to say something else that was also on her mind. 

"But first I want to know how Bellamy and Echo are doing. It's been three hours..."

"They're fine, Clarke," Madi assured her, even though she, too, was beginning to feel a little uneasy.

"Yeah, but I wanna be sure"

"You can't look for them yet. We have to wait for them to come back. You're still injured."

"I can walk, as you have witnessed"

"Clarke, please," Madi pleaded in a raised voice, but effortlessly, as Clarke already swung around and sat on the other side of the bed. There she paused as the pain began to boil under her skin again.

"Give me my jacket," Clarke asked over her shoulder.

"She can't be serious," Madi said to herself. Though she hesitantly began to look for Clarke's favorite black leather jacket, she was still far from giving in to her request.

"Hey," Clarke said when she noticed Madi's hesitation. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing. But I can't stay in this room any longer. I have to move. Even if it is only to the floor."

Madi sighed. In a way, it made sense, and knowing Clarke, she was made that way. Actually, she was restless most of the time in the valley. Reluctantly she got up and went to get the jacket.

Clarke took the jacket with a warm smile on her face. "Thanks"

"But Clarke, promise me that you will not look for Bellamy. Or... and especially the stranger..."

"I promise" Clarke assured her. 

So it was settled. Clarke dressed as quickly as her aching chest and stomach would allow. And as she did so, she noticed out of the corner of her eye, rather casually, the painkillers her mother had given her earlier. 

"Couldn't hurt..." Clarke encouraged herself to take one of the painkillers before getting up. Maybe this would also help to calm Madi down a bit and make her see that she takes her injuries seriously.

The pill was quickly swallowed and immediately reminded her of the few times she had done so on the Arc. A rather unpleasant feeling and definitely not something a person would do without a reason. Her thoughts immediately turned to her mother.

"How desperate Mom actually was to take this on a daily basis. And in these excessive rates..."

Suddenly she burst into a small laugh, and when she caught herself after a few seconds and looked into Madi's irritated eyes, she felt the need to explain herself.

"I was just wondering if Monty and Jasper had been in the bunker, if they would have managed to make some jobi nut or algae wine and whether drinking their adulderated alcohol might be a better alternative than taking these pills," Clarke explained, shaking the small pill box in her hands. "Not that important. Let's go."

"It's okay, Clarke. She'll get better with our help," Madi reassured her and came over for another quick hug. Much to Clarke's surprise. A welcome surprise.

Then they gave each other an affirmative nod and headed for the door, but not before Clarke took the gun Echo handed her, and made sure it was loaded and ready. Getting up and walking this time already felt much better than the first time she tried it a few hours ago. Or maybe that extra boost came from the little hug they had just shared.

Madi opened the door and scanned the hallway with her eyes. The floor was empty, and while she was trying to decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing, Clarke had already passed her and was limping down the hallway. Clarke's pace wasn't the fastest as she tried to find a compromise between moving forward and keeping her pain at a moderate level as the painkillers took time to work. She knew very well that if her mother caught her or even found out, she would be in a lot of trouble. But it was worth it.

"Where are we going?" Madi called after her when she saw that Clarke had almost reached the corner of the corridor. But it wasn't Madi's voice who caught her attention, but another one, simultaneously shouting from the other end of the hallway..

"Hey!" It was a strong and authoritative, yet familiar voice.

As Clarke turned, she saw Charmaine Diyoza approaching. She was holding one of the semiautomatic rifles. Seeing this, Clarke suddenly realized that she had instinctively grabbed the gun from her jacket pocket.

"Clarke... What are you doing here? Shouldn't you-" Dyoza greeted her as soon as she had closed the distance. "Nethermind. How are you?" She continued when she noticed Clarke's hesitation to answer right away.

"Not too bad," Clarke decided to answer the easier question. "Did you find the person?"

"Negative, we have called off the search. The whole thing could be a misunderstanding. I'm going to the bridge, where we'll discuss what to do next..."

"Mind if we join you?"

"Not at all. I actually wanted to talk anyway. So do you have a moment?" Diyoza addressed Clarke.

"Yeah, sure" 

Although that was the answer she wanted to hear, she exchanged a sharp look with Clarke when she realized that Madi was with her. Obviously, she didn't want to have Madi around for what came next.

"It's okay. Madi can stay. I want her to stay." Clarke insisted.

"Fine," Diyoza said. But let us go somewhere where we can be undisturbed. It won't take long..." Dyoza said and started to look for a suitable place. Then she started walking down the corridor, checking each door until she seemed to have found an empty room.

"Here, this will do," she said after waving them over to her. They quickly entered the room, which seemed to be nothing more than empty quarters.

"Here." Without further ado, she pulled her notebook out of her jacket and handed it to Clarke, "I've changed the launch code for the Damocles bomb. Since it's still in the cargo bay, it should be kept safe for now. Perhaps with some additional precautions. There's also a description of how to modify and change this code. Right now, only the three of us know about this little secret."

This revelation struck both of them. They had completely forgotten that the bomb was still there. It was one of the more unpleasant remnants of the prisoners' brief reign over the valley.

"How destructive is it?" Clarke asked cautiously, making sure no one unwanted could overhear their conversation.

"You better not dare to think about it. It's only purpose was to act as a lever in a possible power play. As a last resort..."

"Like the atomic bombs..." Clarke thought out loud.

"'Yeah... You have to be very desperate to even think about it..."

"Or actually do it..." Clarke commented sarcastically.

"Yes. That was my fault. I'm glad you stopped him..."

"And I should thank you for saving my life," Clarke said.

"Me too," Madi mubled. It was too early for her to see this woman as an ally, or even an equal, but she couldn't overlook the fact that Charmaine Diyoza did everything she could to save Clarke's life, and was probably the only reason Clarke made it at all.

"No problem. Mothers and daughters stick together..." Diyoza said, "Thanks to you, I now have a second chance. To have a life I never thought I could ever have..."

"You're welcome…"

"Diyoza, can we trust your people? Will they follow you... And more importantly, will they follow us?" Clarke asked her after a short pause of uncomfortable silence.

"Well, thanks to your little girl, I think they got the message about how you handle things. So the answer is: Probably. Usually when you keep them busy, they don't think about too many things, but for the second part: I don't know. A month ago I would have said definitely yes, but some things have changed since then. McCreary is a big part of that equation... And what we do with him..."

"You mean to set an example?"

"You mean killing him," Madi rushed forward, "I almost did until YOU and your stupid pilot stopped me...:"

"Madi…" Clarke tried to calm her. Unsuccessful.

"It wasn't the right time then…" Dyoza tried to explain

"Then tell me... When is the right time? When if not now?" Madi said angrily.

"He must die," Dyoza agreed. "He is too dangerous. And I have a personal desire for him to die. He betrayed me… Not to mention your girls desire to end his life…" Diyoza added.

"Madi…" Clarke reminded her.

"Madi" Diyoza corrected herself and addressed Madi personally. 

"Good, then we are all on the same page..." Clarke summarized.

"Good. I'm glad that's settled. I'm going to the bridge now..." Diyoza announced and was about to turn around when Clarke decided to accompany her.

"Wait outside. We will come with you. Just give us a moment."

Diyoza nodded curtly and left the room to give them some space.

When the door shut behind her, Clarke began to scroll through the notebook until she found the page about the Damocles bomb and its updated launch codes. She tore the page out of the book and began folding it. When it was small enough, Clarke slipped it into her bra. She then gave Madi a determined nod as she saw what Clarke had just done.

"No one, and I repeat no one, will ever know about this, okay?" Clarke told Madi, receiving a firm nod. "I'll talk to Bellamy and the others about it later..."

"But in any case, we have to get rid of the bomb," Madi reminded her, "I mean… You don't want to keep it, do you?"

"No, definitely not. But how do we dispose of it?" Clarke asked, "We can't just throw it out of the cargo bay..."

"That's Monty and Raven's specialty..." Clarke immediately added, "For now, we try not to mention it..."

Madi nodded as she couldn't think of a better solution. "As long as none of us says a word about the code and its whereabouts, we shouldn't have any problems. But just to be on the safe side..." Clarke said and started scribbling in the notebook, "We'll make everyone believe that there are some codes. Fake codes."

"Clever. So we can see if anyone wants to do bad things with it," Madi summarized, very impressed by Clarke's plan.

"So let's not keep them waiting any longer"

"You really want to go there? Your injured, Clarke. Bellamy wouldn't…"

"Let Bellamy be my problem. He's not my mom…"

"And what if she's there too?"

Clarke stopped. Her words pierced her mind like sharp knives. She was right. Absolutely right. Her mother would go crazy, and Bellamy also wouldn't be too happy to see her walking around still bandaged and having just woken up from a coma a few hours ago. Then again, she had every right to be there. And since she was injured, she hoped that this would at least keep spare her out of any tense arguments with them for the time being.

"Then we better find a good explanation by the time we reach the bridge..."

"We?" Madi asked incredulously. She couldn't believe that Clarke was willing to take that risk.

"Hey! You wanted to change the world, but I won't let you change it alone. We're in this together..." Clarke reminded her with a challenging smile, "Let's go."