Taming the Evil Saintess

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A certain comic comes to mind.

It’s a story about madmen who strap on some kind of wire-mounted mechanism at their waists and slice the napes of giants.

Right now, I was exactly like that.

The only difference was that I was performing three-dimensional maneuvering with just my body, without any mechanical aid.

Boom!

The fist of a corpse golem just smashed down where I had been. The coffin shattered, and bone fragments flew in all directions.

Despite its enormous size, the corpse golem was surprisingly agile. It leapt into the air and reached out with its other hand as if to grab me.

But I created physical force made of mana in mid-air and used it as a stepping stone to leap again. This grab technique was my version of a three-dimensional maneuvering device.

I spun my body once, wielding my holy sword in reverse grip, and struck down heavily on the shoulder of the corpse golem. The sword strike, filled with both sword energy and rotational force, showcased tremendous power, slicing through everything in its path, but the golem’s body remained intact.

Instead, the corpses affixed to its body tumbled off in chunks, showing no sign of pain. After all, an undead that has already died once wouldn’t feel pain again.

[Woooaah!]

“Well done! Corpse Golem! Go ahead and destroy humanity with your own hands!”

Beside me, an ecstatic necromancer was jumping for joy, to the point where I thought maybe it was better to first silence her annoying mouth.

Of course, I didn’t have the luxury to ponder such things. The cramped space of this catacomb made it so that I had barely any room to move with the gargantuan golem charging at me.

No choice. I inwardly apologized to the spirits and prepared to destroy their home.

In simple terms, I broke the wall.

I swung the blade against the wall. Skeletons that were tightly wedged in it cascaded down, piling up at my feet. A candle holder that had been stuck in the corridor toppled over, igniting the zombie corpse I had just knocked down, and suddenly our surroundings turned into a hellish inferno engulfed in red flames.

Well, it wasn’t too bad for mood lighting.

“Now the stage is set.”

I raised my holy sword once more and took a deep breath.

“Are the actors ready?”

At my words, the corpse golem roared as if confirming it was ready. There truly was no better actor.

It charged towards me in excitement.

Fast. If I took that punch head-on, no amount of mana surrounding my body would save me from an instant death.

So, I just had to avoid it.

In fact, during battles with monstrous beasts, each claw strike was lethal, yet I somehow managed to survive for three years.

This time would be no different.

Swoosh!

I dodged the fist and swung my sword wildly. There was no need for elegance or style when dealing with non-humanoid foes.

I simply picked the most effective movements to deal damage, ignoring defense entirely.

My movements were not much different from slicing fish at a seafood market.

In reality, during my time with the mercenary group, I called this slicing technique “sashimi cutting.”

[Gwuaaaah!]

Though it felt no pain, the golem seemed aware as parts of its corpse fell from its body.

The corpse golem roared and swept the area, extending its fist while rotating its body halfway.

I slid across the ground, zigzagging between its legs. Naturally, I added a few more slashes, causing the golem to stagger as its groin was mutilated.

Not missing this opportunity, I steadied myself and thrust my sword forcefully into its belly.

Thud! With a heavy sound, the holy sword pierced into the golem’s body. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem deep enough to reach its core. Still, I succeeded in providing it with a certain discomfort.

The corpse golem thrashed around, lifting its knees, and I released my grip on the holy sword, kicking its knee to leap into the air.

“――.”

For a brief moment, I made eye contact with the golem. Just so you know, it had a face that was horrendously ugly.

I hovered in the air for a moment before flipping my body upside down and using the ceiling as a springboard to dive back down.

At the same time, I grabbed the hilt of the sword lodged in the golem’s body and, influenced by gravity, pulled it out. A thin white line appeared across the golem’s belly as the body, full of corpses, revealed a gap.

[Wraaaah!]

This time it seemed to have taken some serious damage. It let out a scream that sounded like it was going to tear apart.

Through the gaping hole, I could see a shining red gemstone, the core. The corpses within squirmed, trying to cover it, but my sword was faster.

This time, I employed some finesse.

Learned from Cecilia.

――Fwoom!

A golden flower bloomed along the path of my sword.

*

“Did you actually capture this all by yourself?”

The last to arrive, Cecilia, uttered after taking in the scene.

By the way, Cecilia was notoriously directionally challenged. Knowing this well, even after handing her Rowan’s magic map, she still arrived last.

Of course, I didn’t intend to blame her, and Cecilia didn’t seem to care much either. She probably thought she had come swiftly on her own merit. Instead, she frowned at the remains of the corpse golem I had captured.

“What on earth did you do to capture the corpse golem alone?”

“Do you know this monster?”

“It’s the one that Plague Lord Vermina sometimes sends over the city walls. It takes an army of dozens of ballistae and the entire Knight Order just to peel off the corpses to barely catch it…”

“Well, there’s always a method.”

“I’m curious about that method.”

“Curious, are you?”

Cecilia nodded.

Her curiosity was reasonable enough.

The corpse golem was known as the reaper of warriors.

It was incredibly solid, and to capture it without exaggeration, one would have to inflict as many blows as there were corpses used to create the golem.

Without the mage’s incineration spell or holy magic, it was believed to be utterly impossible to defeat such a monster, so it was no wonder Cecilia was shocked.

I leaned closer and whispered in her ear.

“What I did was…”

“…What did you do?”

“Well.”

Just as Cecilia was about to draw her sword, I quickly apologized.

“Actually, I just slit its belly and crushed the core. The Ice Flower I learned from you, Cecilia, was incredibly useful.”

As I buttered her up quickly, Cecilia frowned, but then sighed and relaxed her grip on the hilt.

“Anyway, I have no choice but to acknowledge it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you really asking that because you don’t know? Despite your flippant and vulgar mannerisms, Sir Elliot is an exceptionally strong warrior.”

Cecilia shook her head in disbelief.

Albrecht and Azar, who arrived first, shared similar reactions, but Cecilia’s response was notably more entertaining.

Why, you ask?

“Ugh.”

Secretly expressing her frustration, she clenched her fists in front of her chest.

She didn’t want to admit it, but it seemed she realized I was stronger than her.

“Anyway.”

I thought about teasing Cecilia a bit more, but given her fiery temperament as the Ice Warrior, I decided against it.

Instead, I grabbed Rachel, the necromancer, who was daintily touching the remains of the corpse golem, by the scruff of her neck.

“This one’s the problem.”

The necromancer introduced herself as Rachel.

She seemed to have struck a deal with the Demon King’s army, lost in her obsession with necromancy, which provided her an environment to make free use of corpses.

And shockingly, her evil deeds amounted to that alone.

“…What a vague character.”

In other words…

This necromancer, Rachel, had committed no particular crimes that warranted killing her, nor did she know anything worthy enough to extract information from.

She was merely a crazy woman, burning with enthusiasm for knowledge while stuck in a grim cemetery after dealing with the Hell Duke.

If she had been offered a vast graveyard, she would have accepted regardless of whether her benefactor was a demon king, emperor, god, or evil god.

She was just a dimwit; killing such a woman would surely result in restless dreams that night.

“Well, wouldn’t it be better to keep her imprisoned?”

Albrecht suggested a reasonable course of action.

“Since she’s a mage who has already committed crimes, it would be best to pass her on to the Archmage at Shadowhold.”

“Not a bad idea.”

I nodded.

We could tie her up here and sort it out later on.

Since Rachel hoped to stay bound with the remains of the corpse golem, I tossed her into the foul-smelling piles of corpses.

“Wait there. You’ll be going to the prison in the Magic Tower.”

“…Um.”

Rachel spoke up.

“…Are there many corpses there?”

“….”

Killing might really be the better option, after all.

I was seriously pondering this dilemma when news came from Emily’s enchanted messaging. It seemed the eradication of the undead in the catacombs was nearly complete.

“Let’s head back.”

*

“Hey, look at what this lady has done.”

“Did she capture all of this?”

“Of course she did.”

Ophelia stood, beaming for compliments, puffing out her nonexistent chest.

Behind her, a mountain of undead corpses was piled up. It felt as if all the bodies in the catacombs were right there.

“…Wow, you really killed a lot. Shouldn’t we hold some sort of ceremony to wish for their souls?”

“Since they’re already dead, why should we? They probably had one when they died the first time.”

“….”

Those were words that definitely shouldn’t come from a saint.

Even Rowan looked aghast at such a sacri– …I mean sacrilegious sentiment, but Ophelia approached me, completely unfazed, and wrinkled her nose.

Ophelia sniffed the air like a little puppy.

“Hey, you smell really weird.”

“I can’t help that; I was playing around among the corpses.”

“Take a bath.”

“I don’t have the luxury for that.”

After a while of back-and-forth banter with Ophelia, I glanced at my watch. I had spent more time than I expected.

Having caused such a commotion underground, the Cathedral of the Saint would surely have realized our intrusion by now.

“Let’s move. Time is of the essence.”

I pulled out the map.

“If we keep heading this way, there’s an exit.”

“There are several exits.”

“Exactly.”

I nodded.

There are more than a dozen paths leading from the catacombs to the Cathedral of the Saint. With multiple exits available, it would be only natural to take advantage of them.

I aimed to throw the army of the Saints into confusion.

The method was simple. We would split the mercenaries and allies into different routes and bolt out simultaneously. Given Emily’s communication magic, signaling should be a breeze.

“The name of this operation will be….”

I spoke, being mindful of Emily’s gaze.

“Shall we call it Mario?”

“What does that even mean?”

“Well, it exists.”