Sweet Sugar Candyman

#12

The buttons of the uniform were meticulously fastened all the way to the neck. The tie that had yet to be tied hung stiffly, wrapping halfway around the collar. The way he warmed the wax in his palm and applied it to his hair, combing it neatly, was so natural, as if he had been doing it for a long time.

With his bangs neatly swept aside, Saheon’s straight forehead was revealed. His strong eyebrows, the high bridge of his nose, and the well-defined features below, combined with the neat and ascetic aura of someone who had lived under strict discipline for a long time, drew attention.

I sat on the plush bed, staring blankly at Saheon’s face reflected in the mirror. A small dent appeared next to the corner of his mouth, a habit that emerged when he was focused.

Just watching Saheon prepare for work brought me joy. It was enough to momentarily forget the worries that had filled my mind all weekend about the daunting university life ahead.

As he gazed at his reflection in the mirror with a concentrated expression, he caught my eye and a smile crept into the corners of his eyes. His polished appearance reflected in the mirror was undeniably impressive.

Just the night before, I had tossed and turned, anxious about various concerns, barely managing to fall asleep, but now my eyes were only slightly heavy, as if my mind was forcibly alert.

Since it was the first day of the semester and Saheon had promised to take me, I chose to wait patiently until he finished getting ready. Unlike Saheon, who had to put on a full uniform, I only needed to dress simply, so I had plenty of time to spare.

With the residual warmth in his palm, Saheon swept his hair back one last time, signaling that he was ready. He stood up and skillfully tied his tie, then picked up his jacket and slipped his long arms into it. It fit him perfectly, as if it had been made for him from the start.

After fastening all the buttons of his double-breasted jacket and adjusting his angular hat, he turned to me, who was half-reclining on the bed, and smiled. His large hand ruffled my hair roughly.

“We should go, Mungmung.”

The neatly styled hair I had just arranged was now a mess. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he pressed down on the top of my head. A heavy weight settled in his palm.

Finally, when he removed his hand, I saw my reflection in the mirror from the bed, and it looked like a bird’s nest. A small, harsh sound almost escaped my lips, but I managed to keep it in. I shot a fierce glare at Saheon’s back as he walked ahead, covering my now exposed forehead.

While Saheon waited by the door, wearing his shoes and holding the handle of his suitcase, I quickly shoved my feet into my sneakers.

As I lifted my head after making sure the heels of my shoes were not crumpled, I found Saheon looking down at me. I raised my eyebrows, silently asking why he was staring.

“Just.”

The strong scent of his skin perfume wafted from Saheon, and his lips curved into a cool smile. The next words that followed carried a hint of playfulness.

“I was just wondering when you grew up so much.”

“What are you talking about….”

I mumbled a small response, pretending I couldn’t put my shoes on properly, and ended up just bumping my toes against the floor. It only caused pain to my already cramped toes. It was probably an ordinary comment with no special meaning to Saheon, but my ears felt hot.

As the front door opened, the quiet hallway filled with the sound of Saheon’s suitcase wheels and our footsteps. While we descended to the parking lot, I stole glances at Saheon’s profile. His sharp features and neat uniform suited him remarkably well.

It was the second time I had seen Saheon in uniform today, but each time, he exuded a professional yet sensual aura that enveloped his entire being.

Saheon’s car was parked near the front door leading to the parking lot. The passenger seat felt a bit cramped for me. While I adjusted the seat back, Saheon, who had loaded the suitcase into the back seat, let out a sigh as he settled into the driver’s seat.

“Mungmung. Here.”

“Yeah.”

Saheon handed me a hat. As I placed it gently on my lap, the engine roared to life, causing my body to tremble slightly. Once the loud engine noise settled down, Saheon leisurely pressed the accelerator.

After slowly exiting the parking lot, he picked up speed. Before entering the main road, he pointed out with his finger.

“See that? Don’t cross the crosswalk; you should catch the bus from that direction. You can take bus 3300, but even 3000 or 307 will get you there. 307 takes a bit of a detour, though.”

The red light turned green. Saheon made a right turn and added more details.

“A taxi would cost about 8000 won. It’s closer than you think.”

“Oh, then I should be fine even if I’m late.”

“Are you already thinking about being late?”

There was a hint of laughter in Saheon’s voice. Even I thought it wasn’t a topic to consider on the first day of the semester. My face turned awkward with embarrassment.

The roads were relatively quiet, likely due to the ambiguous weekday timing. I took in the densely packed new neighborhood with my eyes. After passing an area filled with newly built apartment complexes, we arrived at a bustling intersection filled with restaurants and shops.

I carefully stored the geography of the area in my mind, as it seemed that all the buildings were clustered together in this direction.

As we drove along the straight road that felt like it was both congested and free-flowing, I spotted the building of the airline where Saheon worked. I remembered him saying I needed to arrive by two o’clock, but I felt a slight worry that after dropping me off, he would have a vague amount of time left.

However, as we moved further away from a distance I could walk, my curiosity about the outside began to wane. The tension I had temporarily forgotten started to creep back in. The comfortable ride and the safety belt holding me in place made me feel at ease, but the sensations I had momentarily forgotten were not disappearing.

I fidgeted with my hands, pressing my tired eyes with my fingers, unable to keep still. I felt Saheon’s glance on my seemingly distracted demeanor. As I moistened my dry lips with my tongue, Saheon let out a small chuckle.

“Are you nervous?”

“…A little?”

I gathered my restless gestures and clenched my fist. Saheon began to speak, seemingly trying to ease my tension.

“You just need to get close enough to your classmates to have meals together. You’re not living in the dorms, after all. Friends and classmates are different, so there’s no need to worry too much.”

“Yeah… right.”

“As long as you attend everything they invite you to, you won’t stand out. It’s fine… but it might be better not to open that.”

Saheon’s voice, which had been soothing me with an elder’s calmness, suddenly turned urgent. I tried to control my fidgety hands by clenching my fist, but I failed and ended up fiddling with the glove compartment in the passenger seat.

I flinched and pulled my hand away. As I closed the slightly opened compartment, I heard something round and long rolling inside, along with a weight. It seemed like a cylindrical object was stirring inside, and I could also hear the dull rustling of several hard wrappers that had been inside.

Feeling a bit guilty, I raised both hands to shoulder height to show I was done touching it. Saheon, who had been looking a bit flustered, confirmed with his eyes that the glove compartment was completely closed and smiled as if it were a habit.

“Do you want a snack?”

His gentle tone was reminiscent of soothing a child, but I quickly sensed the faint embarrassment hidden within. Saheon reached out his right hand and opened a small compartment where he kept cigarette butts. Instead of cigarette butts, there were individually wrapped candies inside.

With hasty fingers, Saheon rummaged through the candy drawer and handed me a purple candy. As I placed it in my mouth, a subtle grape flavor spread, but my gaze remained fixed on the glove compartment.

What was he hiding in there? From the sound and weight, I could only guess it was a lotion bottle or a spray can. But that alone wouldn’t be enough to cause panic; there must be something more potent hidden inside. I accepted the candy and rolled the small piece around in my now quiet mouth, my mind racing with guesses about its contents.

As I summoned all my imagination to find a plausible object, the car began to approach the university area. Just as Saheon had said, it didn’t take long to reach the university buildings.

I began to see the main gate in the distance, which I had visited with friends during my school days. Gradually, the trivial thoughts faded away, replaced by a tightening tension in my stomach.

Groups of peers, looking to be around my age, filled the sidewalks, dressed in well-coordinated outfits. I looked down at my own attire, which was entirely black.

A black hoodie with a sports brand logo, plain black pants, a black bag, and a long black padded coat that covered everything. It was a fashion that reminded me of my teacher parents’ habitual saying, “Are you a child of darkness?”

Looking at my clothes, one might mistake me for a returning student rather than a freshman. I felt gloomy as I recalled the monochromatic outfits I had brought that were similar to what I was wearing now.

As we stopped at a busy traffic light in front of the university gate, Saheon looked around, trying to find a good place to park. A spot opened up where a taxi had just been. Saheon made a sharp turn and squeezed the car into the tight space.

I noticed a warning sign under the CCTV for parking enforcement that stated a fine would be issued for stopping for more than five minutes. I unbuckled my seatbelt and gripped the thick bag strap tightly. The blue veins on the back of my hand turned white.

“I’ll be back.”

“Yeah, have a good time. Don’t drink too much. Just drink moderately.”

Saheon handed me a few more candies. As I reached for the colorful candies, my fingernail brushed against Saheon’s palm. I could feel his warm body temperature through the thin skin next to his fingernail.

That brief contact felt as if Saheon’s warmth had transferred to me. I stuffed the candy into my pants pocket and opened my mouth.

“Why would I drink on the first day? The welcome party is on Friday.”

Saheon made a sound of acknowledgment. His expression seemed to say, “Isn’t that right?” It was an attitude that suggested I was wrong. I decided to change the subject and offered a calm farewell.

“Hyung, you have a good time too. How many days will it be until you come back after today?”

“No. It’s a quick turn, so I’ll probably arrive around dawn in Korean time… I think it’ll be around 3 AM here. It might be later.”

I didn’t quite understand the terms Saheon was using, but I gathered he would be back by tomorrow morning. I nodded vigorously. Saheon let out a small laugh.

“Make yourself comfortable on my bed. It’s a long way to get a bed delivered.”

Saheon hadn’t paid for the cheapest bed I found. He had impulsively ordered a huge bed, insisting on how important sleep was. I thought I might faint when I saw the price starting with an 8.

I recalled the staggering price tag and nodded vaguely, then realized that Saheon would be returning in the early morning.

“Hyung, um….”

So, would we be sleeping together? The lewd thoughts inside me made my mouth shut tight. If I pretended not to know and just let it go, would I wake up to find Saheon sleeping next to me?

Saheon could sleep on the sofa, or he could uncomfortably sleep in my room, which only had a blanket, so if I wanted to consider the tired Saheon, I should definitely clarify this, but my heart was anxiously racing with uncertain imaginations.

I glanced at Saheon. He was waiting for me because of the words I had just said. Suddenly, guilt surged within me. How could I be having such lewd thoughts in front of Saheon? I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“…What if I end up being a loner?”

An unexpected response slipped out. It was a statement that came out while searching for something completely unrelated. Saheon chuckled softly and replied lazily.

“You’ll probably make at least one close friend. Just go with the flow like everyone else.”

Now that I said it, it felt like a rather whiny question. I felt my ears heat up with embarrassment and adjusted the level of my question slightly.

“What if, you know… what if the seniors force me to drink, like with bomb shots?”

“Who does that these days? If you say you can’t drink, they’ll just tell you to drink cola.”

“Then, what if it’s something I don’t want to do, but everyone else has to do it?”

“Just pretend to do it moderately and slip away.”

My throat moved up and down significantly. Hoping that the question that suddenly came to mind would sound ordinary, I opened my mouth.

“What if… I have to say I need to leave when I’m in a meeting?”

The corners of hyung’s mouth, who had been answering me step by step, drew a light curve. My heart sank. I thought I could bury my awkward and random question without it showing, but Saheon seemed to have caught on to my intentions completely.

My face grew hot. Saheon had his arms crossed, resting them against the steering wheel. His next words felt almost like a reprimand directed at me.

“Is that what you’re going to do?”