Stalking Diary

Chapter 11

I gripped the handle tightly with each knuckle. Only after stepping back slightly was I able to nod.

“Thank you.”

When I wiped the spot he pointed to again with my hand, a faint blood mixed with rainwater indeed came off.

“Anyway, take the umbrella…”

As I held it out again to him who still hadn’t taken it, he straightened up and stared at me silently.

His eyes were slowly scanning over my face, which looked like a drowned rat, then my shoulders, arms, and legs in order.

I suddenly felt like my water-soaked clothes were tightly constricting my entire body. It was suffocating, and my stomach churned.

“……”

Water dripped from under my chin. My shoulders trembled slightly.

I couldn’t tell if it was because of his gaze or if I had caught a chill from the wet wind.

It was fortunate that there was no one around to look at me strangely. Due to the sudden downpour, everyone was staying inside the buildings. It was also late afternoon when classes had already ended.

After a long while, Joo Kwon-oh took the umbrella and went inside the building where the club room was. I closed the umbrella I had been holding and quietly followed him.

The interior was gloomy today, perhaps because evening was approaching and dark clouds covered the sky. A few students crossed the hallway, but after they passed, there was no sign of people, as if there were no more classes or activities in this building.

Joo Kwon-oh didn’t take the elevator but walked to the end of the hallway. Was he going to take the stairs? I quietly followed without asking why. We were heading to the same destination anyway.

“…This is a bit odd.”

Joo Kwon-oh, who was climbing the stairs ahead, suddenly turned around. I almost bumped my face into his upper body.

I looked up at him as I stopped behind Joo Kwon-oh.

“How long has it been since you got scratched on your face, and now you’re drenched today?”

“……”

“I couldn’t do this even if I tried on purpose.”

His tone clearly revealed how absurd he found it. Even without such a reaction, I was already sufficiently embarrassed.

“It’s not like I did it on purpose…”

“I know.”

Joo Kwon-oh, looking down at me, rummaged through his pocket and asked out of the blue.

“Do you like candy?”

My lips parted blankly, not immediately understanding the question. Realizing my lips had suddenly become dry, I moistened my lower lip with my tongue.

Joo Kwon-oh’s eyes twitched slightly.

He tilted his head and stood at an angle, then took something out of his pocket. It was the Chupa Chups that Shin Ji-ye had given earlier.

“Here.”

I found it difficult to properly understand the meaning.

“Try it.”

I looked up blankly at Joo Kwon-oh, who suddenly held out the candy to me, and asked.

“Now?”

“Why? Afraid I might have poisoned it?”

“That’s not it… I just don’t understand why you’re suddenly telling me to eat it here…”

I took the candy that Joo Kwon-oh was waving, caught off guard. Even when I closely examined the wrapper with confused eyes, I couldn’t see anything special about the candy.

“I got curious about something. So cooperate.”

Eat candy so suddenly like this? What on earth is he curious about?

Too many question marks popped up in my head.

“You don’t want to?”

I shook my head slightly. I didn’t have the right to refuse his words.

After unwrapping the candy, I looked up at Joo Kwon-oh, who was standing two steps above me on the stairs.

“Should I… just eat it?”

“Yeah.”

Instead of saying anything more, I held the stick and put the red, glossy candy in my mouth.

Immediately, a tangy fruit flavor spread throughout my mouth.

“It’s strawberry flavor.”

Thinking he might have asked me to try it because he was curious about the taste, I told him what flavor it was.

I looked at Joo Kwon-oh as if to ask if that was enough, but our gazes didn’t meet. His eyes were fixed on my lips.

As soon as I realized this, all my nerves gathered to my lips, and my skin started to tingle almost unbearably.

Why? Why is he looking at me like that?

I turned my head with the candy still in my mouth.

“Is, is this enough now?”

“Not like that. Use your mouth more.”

Joo Kwon-oh seemed to ponder for a moment how to explain, then he grabbed the stick with his hand and slowly pulled it out.

“……”

“……”

The candy that was in my mouth left a sweet taste on the tip of my tongue as it was pulled out, then went back in. A sticky sensation covered the area around my lips.

“Ah…”

Is this what it means to be completely dumbfounded? I couldn’t properly recognize what was happening.

Afraid that if I kept my lips parted like this, saliva might drip, at some point I unconsciously started moving my tongue along with the candy. The sweetness that made my tongue ache was coating all my mucous membranes.

After a while, Joo Kwon-oh made a deflating sound. He let go of the stick and covered his face with his hand, laughing.

“Ah, this is so ridiculous.”

Joo Kwon-oh, muttering to himself, opened his mouth again to continue speaking.

However, not a single proper word came out of his lips in the end.

The corridor where we were standing was empty, with only the occasional sound of rain from outside coming through the windows.

In this space, we meticulously explored each other.

Unlike usual, it was Joo Kwon-oh who ended this tense tug-of-war first.

Leaving only the word ‘Enough’ formed by his lips, he turned around and bounded up the stairs.

As if nothing had happened.

In contrast, I couldn’t move from my spot for a long time. I just blinked blankly, still with the candy in my mouth.

What just happened?

“Oh no. Jeong-ha oppa, where did you get drenched…?”

When I returned to the club room, only Choi Kyung-won and Shin Ji-ye were left. I brushed back my wet hair and held out the umbrella.

“Man… If it’s raining this much, you should’ve come back. Sorry…”

“I know, right? It was barely drizzling earlier. What are you going to do? Your clothes are all wet. Aren’t you cold?”

“Are there only two of you here?”

I scanned the club room, looking for Joo Kwon-oh who had gone up earlier.

“Kwon-oh got a phone call a while ago and said he had to leave first. Didn’t you run into him?”

“No.”

“Really? I thought you might have met downstairs. Oh, Kwon-oh oppa asked me to give you this before he left.”

Shin Ji-ye handed over a handkerchief and a zip-up jacket that were placed on a chair. It seemed they were kept separately since many people used the club room.

As I wiped the moisture from my forehead and under my chin with the handkerchief, I thought about what had just happened.

*

That night. After returning to my studio apartment, showering, and drying my hair, I habitually went on Instagram on my phone.

It was now one of my natural daily routines. Spying on Joo Kwon-oh’s Instagram.

At first, I was nervous about accidentally liking something, but now I was used to it without such tension.

As always, there was no new news today. Although it was rare for him to post photos on Instagram, I felt somewhat deflated.

As the next step, I checked the Instagram accounts of Joo Kwon-oh’s close friends from the Business Administration department. And there, I finally found new information about Joo Kwon-oh.

Because he appeared in a photo uploaded about thirty minutes ago.

The background was a bowling alley. Nearly ten men and women were gathered, striking poses freely.

The moment I discovered the photo, I felt like my throat was tightening.

Some of their faces were very red, perhaps from drinking. Joo Kwon-oh, sitting at the very end, was leaning against the wall and smiling leisurely, and next to him sat a petite woman with long hair.

Seeing Joo Kwon-oh sitting next to a woman with attributes opposite to mine, I thought, despite not wanting to admit it, that they looked very good together.

He left without saying anything. Was it because of this drinking party?

Feeling depressed, I flopped onto the bed. I felt uneasy.

What was that earlier? Were that gaze and strange attitude simply to test how much I would be shaken and to mock me?

I felt a bit resentful towards Joo Kwon-oh, who casually drank with his friends at a gathering as if nothing had happened after that incident.

Perhaps he never had any thoughts about me from the beginning. The idea that Joo Kwon-oh was conscious of me was probably an illusion born from my wishful thinking.

How much meaning had I foolishly attached to Joo Kwon-oh giving me just one candy?

“……”

After lying listlessly on the bed for a while, glancing at the zip-up jacket Joo Kwon-oh had given me, I suddenly made up my mind and sprang up.

Sitting at my desk, I saw the white stick from the candy I had finished earlier. It might be pathetic to keep such trash instead of throwing it away, but who cares? It’s not like anyone’s watching.

Seeing the stick, I had the illusion that the sweet taste was still lingering on the tip of my tongue. I put it aside and took out a new notebook from the bookshelf.

I started quickly sketching Joo Kwon-oh as I had recently seen him on the white pages of the notebook.

Come to think of it, it felt unfair to have to forcibly suppress and ignore what I wanted to do.

If Joo Kwon-oh can act as he pleases, why can’t I?

It’s just scribbling some memos and doodling faces. As long as I don’t get caught again, it should be fine, right?

I decided to put into action my twisted idea because Joo Kwon-oh had happily gone bowling and drinking with other people. Even if it’s pathetic and childish, I can’t help it.

I decided to continue doing what I want. Like Joo Kwon-oh.

Of course, secretly, only behind his back.

*