She was no different from a beast

Chapter 36

—–CROW—– 

“…So that’s why you came all the way to Dodong?”

“Yeah. No matter what…I wanted to hear what other people think. Ah, that’s 50.  50 more to go, keep it up.”

After declaring I wanted to move to the mainland, I apologized to my furious mom with a naked dogeza and managed to mend our almost-broken relationship, but…a strange distance remained.

Dad acted like he’d expected it all along, but I could see Mom trying to hide her feelings.

Like she was running away because she didn’t want to show weakness in front of me.

She often avoided me, so even when I was home, I felt alone.

So now, after about a month of Yuri and Jeongwoo’s character-building lessons, I came to Dodong to confide in Jeongwoo, who was currently doing push-ups with me sitting on his back.

This kid…no wonder he was so strong during the work experience. He’s been working on his strength.

He wasn’t doing them quickly like a spring, but slowly and steadily, sweating profusely… Wow, are those really the arms of an 8-year-old?

‘His muscles are even defined. Crazy.’

Even with me on his back, he managed to do 50 push-ups, lowering himself almost to the ground and then pushing back up.

He does 100 of these?

‘Did this kid get some kind of physical buff too?’

There’s no way an ordinary elementary school kid could have this kind of physique.

“Hoo, honestly…I don’t think I can give you a satisfying answer.”

“I figured. I don’t even know what answer I want.  That’s why I want to know what other people think first.”

What would other people do?

I thought I should consider other opinions, whether from elders or children like Jeongwoo.

“Hmm!  Well, this is just my personal opinion, but if *I* wanted to go, I’d go even if my parents objected.”

…??

Go even if your parents object?

“But wouldn’t that strain your relationship with your parents? They’d worry a lot.”

“Probably. But you wouldn’t go without thinking it through, right? You’d show them that you can live well and be happy there!”

Live well and be happy. Hmm.

That’s true.

I wouldn’t do something reckless like going to Seoul with nothing but a dream, like in the old days.

“You might fight a lot at first, and grow distant, but…isn’t that what parents want? For their children to succeed and be happy? You just have to show them that.”

So, even if they object at first…if I show them that I’m successful, it’ll be okay?

I don’t know.

Jeongwoo’s words sound right, but…I’m not sure if that’s the right choice for me, Mom, and Dad.

“Hoo, get off now.”

“Oh, okay.  You finished 100, I guess?”

This kid looks like he’s at a gym, not a Taekwondo dojang.

Other kids are busy chatting and playing, but he’s here in a tank top, doing push-ups.

I got off Jeongwoo’s back, and he opened a water bottle and gulped it down, then looked at me with his usual calm eyes.

There’s no fear or anything now…just a calm and peaceful gaze, looking directly at me, Han Yuna.

“It’s strange that you’re even worried about what others think.”

“What?  Hey, even so, I can’t ignore my parents’ sadness and anger.”

Is this kid trying to make me out to be some kind of filial saint?

I frowned slightly, and Jeongwoo just shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.

This kid has really grown.

“Whatever. I heard everything from Ajumma. You fell while climbing a big rock, and you’re always jumping into the sea, right?  She said Ajumma gets really worried and angry every time.”

“…”

Mom, why did you tell Jeongwoo such useless things?!

“But you’re still fine.”

“Ahem!  Of course~  I’m super healthy, unlike you!”

“You’re not healthy, you’re just ridiculously tough. Anyway, for someone like you to be worried about this…Ajumma must have been really angry.”

Well, that’s true.

I didn’t expect them to agree right away.

Mom and Dad think I’m broke.

And who would be happy if an 8-year-old, no, even a 14-year-old after graduating elementary school, said they wanted to leave their parents and live on the mainland with a stranger?

“And you don’t usually back down when people tell you no.  The fact that you’re still thinking about it…doesn’t that mean you’ve already made up your mind?”

“…”

“Maybe not, but it seems like you’re just looking for an excuse.”

An excuse.

I wanted to yell at Jeongwoo and deny it, but…maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m just trying to rationalize it.  I bit my lip and puffed out my cheeks.

Ugh, he’s so annoying.

This kid, who used to wet his pants, is now beating me with his words.

“And you’re not leaving right away, right?”

“That’s true.  I’ll be here for at least another five years.”

“Then that’s enough.”

“???”

“You have five years to show Ajumma and Ajussi that they don’t have to worry about you.”

No matter how much you love someone and want them to stay by your side forever, relationships are like fleeting dreams, like a single flower that blooms and withers.

Instead of mourning the withered flower, you should endure the loneliness and cold of winter and wait for spring to return.

“Even if you’re apart, they should be able to think, ‘Yuna will be fine. Yuna will be happy.’  You just have to make them feel that way.”

If you can fill that waiting time with love and hope, not worry and loneliness.

“Knowing you, I think you can change Ajumma’s mind in five years.”

“…Ha.”

He got me there.

He said things like, “You can do it,” and “It’s enough,” but the point was this:

Instead of making excuses and justifications, show them through your actions, slowly and steadily.

Don’t be anxious, just show them your sincerity, like you always do.

‘I can’t even tease him for being a kid anymore.’

Well, thanks to him, I did some reflecting.

“Thanks. I wasn’t expecting much, but you’re a surprisingly good listener.”

“It’s not good to ignore someone’s worries. And…I think it’s good to listen to their worries and think about what I would do.”

Jeongwoo sighed and got back into push-up position.

“Get back on. 50 more.”

“What? Is this kid obsessed with exercise?  What’s gotten into you?”

I really don’t understand him.

“Hello~ Unnie!”

“Oh, Yuna. Hi~ What…what brings you here?”

It was late in the evening.

I purposely timed my visit to coincide with the flower shop’s closing time, and as expected, I ran into the flower shop unnie as she was closing up and getting ready to go home.

“Um, I’m sorry, Unnie.”

I apologized first.

I put my hands on my stomach and bowed deeply.  She looked surprised, then smiled wryly, as if feeling both apologetic and regretful, and waved her hands dismissively.

“Oh, no! You don’t have to apologize, Yuna! I was the one who made an unreasonable request.”

Yoon Yerin was slightly regretting what she’d said three weeks ago, when she gave Yuna and her friends a ride home… When they were alone, she’d asked Yuna to move to the mainland with her.

She felt like she’d burdened a young child with her own selfish desires.

It was easy to forget because Yuna was so bright and capable, but she was still only 8 years old.

Even if she moved to the mainland, she’d only be 14, an age where she should be causing trouble and receiving care from her parents.

And a few days ago, Yuna’s grandparents had called and yelled at her.

They’d asked if she was out of her mind, asking such a thing of a young child.

They’d said she was only thinking of herself and not considering Yuna’s parents’ feelings…

Honestly, after hearing that, she desperately wanted to go and apologize to them, even prostrate herself before them, but she was scared.

She imagined being scolded, losing Yuna’s friendship, and having to close her shop if rumors spread on Ulleungdo.

Bad rumors on this small island could ruin your life.

But she had to apologize.

With that resolve, she’d decided that when Yuna came to visit, she’d give her a ride home and apologize to her parents directly.  She was about to continue speaking when…

“Five years. Please wait just five years. I’ll give you a definite answer then.”

“???”

Yerin’s words were swallowed by Yuna’s.

Memories, growth, and trust.

Time to make memories, to look at myself once again, to grow, and to convince Mom and Dad that it’s okay.

Until the day comes when I step out of my comfort zone and into a different world.

Time to cherish, share, and hold onto the warmth, laughter, and memories of now, and to create moments I won’t regret.

“I’ll work hard so I can give you the answer you want before I graduate, so please wait!”

Time to hold those memories close to my heart, to say goodbye to this small island, and to prepare myself to see a wider world.

—–CROW—– 

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