“Regular Cani Days” (42.6)
“Can I Have An Allowance?”
One thing I worried maybe too much about was how Kalei would react to Oka and I dating. Like it would mess up our whole friend dynamic. And while it did change, there were a lot of times when things with the three of us were as normal as ever. Case in point: in Ms. Letoh’s class, we were assigned a group presentation that we could talk while we got started as long as we didn’t get too loud. We naturally used the class time Letoh gave us to get started by spinning our papers around, doodling on them, or chuckling about dumb in-jokes only we found funny.
“Kalei’s calling herself ‘Mama Kalei’ now.” I said.
“What?” Oka said. Then she did a weird, like cartoonishly nerdy voice and said, “‘Mama Kalei, can I have an allowance?’”
“Oh my god,” I said. “Where did that voice come from?”
“Seriously, was that not weirder than Mama Kalei?” Kalei asked. “Which I think is a pretty boss nickname. I got it in beam chasers. Well, my mom started it. But then one of the second years heard her say it and changed it to ‘big mama Kalei,’ then it got shortened.”
"I still don't get why your mom called you 'Big Mama Kalei." I said.
"She didn't!" Kalei said. "She called herself that. You've heard her call herself that. Teammates heard it, applied it to me, there you go. Can we talk about whatever the hell Oka just said now?"
“It’s Ernald from SpyYasmey! Don’t you remember him? ‘Mama, can I have an allowance?’ Yasmey’s little brother!” Oka said.
“It’s been a while since I watched it; I’ll have to watch sometime soon. I said. “Are you busy after class today? Maybe we can have some watch time?”
“Maybe we should focus on this group project first,” Oka said. “Letoh is probably going to randomly tell us time’s up, and everyone else looks a lot further along.”
“What is this project, anyways?” I asked. “I wasn’t really listening, all I could think of was Mama Kalei, which is now Big Mama Kalei.”
“It’s a cool nickname, shut up.” Kalei said.
“Big Mama Kalei, can I have an allowance?” Oka said in the weird voice again.
“Quit doing that voice!” Kalei snapped.
“It’s his catchphrase! He says it like every episode! How did you guys forget?” Oka asked.
“Honestly, I’ve seen like maybe three episodes of SpyYasmey.” Kalei said.
Oka put her hands on her hips, then struck the SpyYasmey pose. “I’m just an average teenage spy after all—”
“Oka, if you could please keep it down, it’d be much appreciated.” Ms. Letoh said, making a good chunk of the class laugh as Oka slumped in her chair.
“Why am I the only one that got told to be quiet?” Oka asked.
“Dude, your face is so red right now.” Kalei said.
“Awww honey! It’s OK!” I said.
Oka now had her face buried in her arms.
”Zates, you’re making her more embarrassed, be less girlfriend about it.” Kalei said.
“Ahem. Let me try. Awww. A-aqcquaintance? How was that?” I said.
“Better.” Kalei said.
“I like honey more.” Oka mumbled.
“You should lift your head up off the table if you want us to hear what you’re saying,” Kalei said. “Ahhh, if only Lillia was at our table here, maybe we’d get something done.”
I scanned the room. “She’s stuck with Latte and Roux.”
“Bummer,” Kalei said. “Crap, Letoh’s coming over.”
“Now I did say we had the rest of class to work on this, guys,” Ms. Letoh said. “But I’d like to see some progress before the end of it.”
“Yeah, we were just, ah…brainstorming.” Kalei said.
“Right, like visualizing what we want it to be.” I said.
“Well, it’ll eventually be a presentation of a topic of Cani history from the eighteenth era, what from the list have you decided on?” Ms. Letoh said.
“Ah…” I said, unprepared to be immediately called out on our attempt to get her to let us slack off.
“We’re still trying to like visualize what the best one is.” Kalei said.
”Uh huh. Could we potentially possibly, if you’re not too…speed up the…” Ms. Letoh said, her discipline stamina fading very quickly.
“I want to do the Jecruible Islands Renaissance,” Oka said, her head snapping up. “It followed that big revolution and the art is just lovely. But Zeta is more in favor of the revolution itself. Kalei is undecided.”
“Right, well let’s get that on our papers then,” Ms. Letoh said. “We just need a rough draft of your idea today.”
When Letoh finally went to go check with the other groups, I took the chance to not work on the project a little longer.
“Is it just me, or is it kinda worse when Letoh calls you out?” I said quietly. “Like at least with Soleri he’s always mad so it’s not surprising? With Letoh it’s like…blah.”
“Passive aggressive is the word you’re looking for, my dear.” Oka said.
“Oh and thanks for saving us there, Oka. I was running on mental fumes trying to think of something to get her to leave.” Kalei said.
“I wonder if I can sneak over to Lillia and get some ideas from her.” Oka said.
“But didn’t you just do that whole spiel about topics?” I asked.
“Yeah but that was me spit balling, when I had my head down I was reading off the assignment.” Oka said.
“Wouldn’t that be kinda too dark to read?” I asked.
"I'm a pro at reading in the dark! Now, if you'll excuse me." Oka said.
“If you’re gonna go make it quick, because uh…eh. Whatever.” Kalei said before going back to doodling on her assignment page.
“Specific Brand of Weird”
“Check it.” I said. “I got my nails painted turquoise, and Oka’s got coral.” I linked hands with her. “And we’re totally matching. Complementary colors.”
“I didn’t even notice!” Oka said. “Is that why you were pushing the coral so hard this morning?”
“Uh huh!” I said.
“You guys walk a fine tightrope between precious and insufferable.” Kalei said. “But the colors do look really nice, so I’ll allow it.”
“Nail night’s our thing, but if you ever want your nails painted a different night let us know!” Oka said.
“Maybe for a Fang Moon Web costume, but sparkly nails are just too girly for me.” Kalei said. “It’d have to be like black or something cool for nail colors. Also hold up, since when do you guys do nail night in the morning?”
“When we know we’re gonna be busy in the evening, sometimes we just paint em on right after breakfast.” Oka said.
“Oka’s a pro at getting them done quickly while making em still look good!” I said.
“Awww!” Oka said. “Thank youuu. It still counts as nail night even if it’s not like in the night.”
“Nail night…in the morning.” Kalei said in a TV announcer voice. “Airs weekdays on KBXL, the VCV’s favorite network.”
“And our first guest…Kalei Koridia, step on up and get ready to have those nails cute-ified!” Oka said.
“Can’t you make Lillia do this?” Kalei asked.
“Painted nails in class aren’t technically against school rules, but the handbook suggests that it’s against it so I’d rather not.” Lillia said.
“That’s our Lillia.” Oka said. “I on the other hand am a super rebellious sort, painting my nails even when the sheriffs say these cowgirls ain’t allowed to.”
“Buckshot Leaf and the Kid!” I said. “Wearing nails when they dang sure tell us not to.”
“OK, this is gonna sound mean,” Kalei said.
I squinted. I looked to Oka, who squinted as well. Lillia looked like she was prepping a Tier 1.5 level glare.
“But once I explain it, hopefully won’t be as mean.” Kalei said.
“Well?” Oka said.
“I think it’s a good thing you guys are both such a specific brand of weird,” Kalei said.
“Yeah, that’s pretty mea—” I started.
“Hear me out!” Kalei said. “Cuz like. You’re both so weird but like weird for each other. Or like weird with each other. So like. Then you don’t have to worry about other people butting in and going for you, you know?”
Lillia sighed and shut her eyes. “I believe Kalei is trying to be reassuring. Stating that the two of you won’t have to worry about outside suitors as much because your personalities are very specific and in tune with one another.” She opened a single eye and looked up. “I believe that’s what you mean, at least.”
“Yeah!” Kalei clapped. “See, not mean!”
“I do appreciate that in a weird way,” Oka said. “See? Cuz you said…we’re weird.”
“I got it!” I said.
“That’s cause we’re on the same weird wavelength,” Oka said. “I appreciate it though Kalei, just because Zeta’s so frickin’ cute I get scared she’s gonna get people going at her all the time. I’d fight them for her, but I don’t wanna.”
“Aww, you’d fight for me?” I asked.
“Uh huh,” Oka said.