Reborn as the Clown Prince

There were no words... Or rather, there were no words until the rollback from the smoothing out of the emotional peak occurred.

The realization of the situation caused panic, my hand unclenched and the knife fell with a ringing sound onto the concrete floor.

"Damn, I almost killed the Dark Knight's henchman..." thoughts darted around in my mind like frightened birds. "That would have been the most epic failure, even my ridiculous death in a fight, nothing compared to this. Fuck. Why the hell did she even think that sneaking up on the Joker was a good idea? Just a little more and..."

A new wave of panic overwhelmed my mind, but was it my fault? The girl was clearly going to commit suicide in such an extravagant way, there was no other way to explain her actions. I was going to become a hero, but her death would have closed that path for me... If the previous owner of the body is now responsible for my past, and I started a new life for myself, then killing the girl would be too heavy a burden for me.

Panic was replaced by anger and fury at this "under-mouse".

"Are you completely stupid?!" with a sharp movement, I grabbed the collar of the frozen idiot's suit, who felt the breath of death on herself, and pressed her against the wall. "Do you even understand what would have happened if I hadn't slowed down?! So, here I am, going to become a hero, you could say, starting a new life, but some suicidal woman almost screwed everything up!"

I practically screamed in her face.

"I-I-I..." the girl squeezed out of herself with difficulty in a frightened voice, but then her voice strengthened and acquired notes of confidence. "I came to stop you, Joker, and not let you detonate the bomb!"

"The bomb!"

The reminder of the imminent explosion sobered my mind. After the contacts of the pulled-out coil were closed, the internal timer started, and now I had very little time left before detonation.

"Don't interfere," I unclenched my hands and was about to return to the half-disassembled bomb, but one stubborn suicide grabbed my right pant leg.

"No, I won't allow it."

Due to the horror she had experienced, the young heroine could not stand normally, so she slid to the floor, but this did not stop her from trying to detain, as she thought, the criminal.

"I'm trying to prevent the explosion. Don't make me use force. You've already screwed up and if you don't let me go in a second, I'll... spank you," threats are definitely not my strong point, but I'm too lazy to think of something more serious right now.

"What?"

Her grip wavered.

"A second passed." leaning over, I gently released Batgirl's grip, after all, forty-five points in the first beginning is cool. "I'll spank you later."

I hurried back, catching the butterfly knife that had fallen on the way.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

The familiar memories of the interworld successfully returned the mental balance that I needed now. Due to the hitch with the unsuccessful attack, we had about three minutes left to live. Hands perform all the necessary actions practically without the participation of the mind, and the hearing catches the voice:

"I won't let you!" she rose to her feet with difficulty.

"I told you that I'm disarming her, and if you continue to interfere with me, then everything here will blow up," my answer sounded immediately. The insulation slid off one of the wires inside the device and now it was impossible to short-circuit it.

"And why should I believe you?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the restless heroine take out a telescopic baton.I don't want to seem boring, but this is where I should have started, and not sneak up on a psychopathic maniac unarmed, hoping for something incomprehensible. The Joker is almost twice as strong as an ordinary person, and this half-baked Mouse definitely doesn't have superpowers. Maybe she wanted to cosplay her idol? But Bats, in addition to being the greatest detective, is considered the greatest martial artist and can afford such dangerous maneuvers. Besides, Bruce Wayne is a healthy man almost six feet tall, and not a small chick as tall as my chest.

"Because if I hadn't changed, you would already be dead, blinded, or smiling from ear to ear... Choose what you like best. Damn!"

The wire with the insulation slipping off, which needed to be shorted, did not want to be cleaned. I couldn't get to it with a knife, and my nails weren't sharp enough...

"So, we're in deep shit."

The police commissioner's daughter came closer with her telescopic baton at the ready.

"Why?"

"Because someone distracted me, and now it's impossible to close the necessary contacts... Do you have any kind of hairpin made of conductive material? Or thin tweezers... Tweezers are even better."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," the girl muttered, taking out a hairpin from her lush red hair. "Look, no tricks!"

"Yes, yes."

Having accepted an unusually shaped hairpin, which can be used to pick some locks, from Batgirl's hands, I immediately short-circuited the necessary contacts, cutting off the excess wiring. Then it was easier and, after three minutes, this detonator no longer posed a danger, only a duplicate remained, hidden somewhere nearby. Hmm... Harley really messed up this time.

"That's all with this one."

Rising up, I kicked the disarmed device, which made the girl flinch. "But there's another one somewhere around here, so help me look for it.

"I won't take my eyes off you!"

"Well, to hell with you, I can handle it myself." I was still angry at her for attempting suicide with my own hands.

The careful search of the school basement dragged on, and I was tired of feeling the heroine's attentive gaze on the back of my head.

"By the way, where is our incomparable defender of Gotham? Shouldn't Bats come to your aid?"

But really, where is he? How long have we been here? Almost fifteen minutes. Of course, I don't want to meet him, but I haven't received a notification from the system yet, and it would be a shame to lose two extra points if I quit now. Besides, if Gotham's protector is nearby, I'm unlikely to be able to hide from him, then it's better to get to Arkham with four free points for pumping than with two.

"Y-yeah, he... He'll be here soon and you won't be able to hide from Justice!"

Some kind of uncertain answer, really...

"Bats doesn't know you're here, right?"

"No, he's already nearby."

"Yeah..." I had to move the steel sheets that blocked access to some parts of the basement. "So how did it occur to your charming head to try to detain me on your own?"

"What are you talking about? Batman is very close, which means I'm not acting alone," the red-haired beauty continued to insist.

"Eh... I'll pretend to believe you... In any case, why the hell did you sneak up on me so close, and unarmed at that? Didn't the Great and Terrible Mouse tell you about tactics? You're small, he can crush you with pathos and gloom just by his presence. I could have hit you with a stun gun from afar and that's it."

"Well, I... that is..."

"Wait," I turned around and looked at the young heroine again carefully, shining a flashlight on her.

Now it was noticeable that the suit was made of some kind of thick purple fabric, partially resembling latex. As protection, she used ordinary Kevlar plates, which I felt when I grabbed the girl. Luxurious red hair was sticking out from under the half mask with small ears. Hmm... But the bat symbol is simply sewn on top of the suit, and there's also this lightning bolt in the center. This equipment was definitely not made to order, but simply remade from scrap materials. To the overall picture, we can add Harley's words about Batgirl appearing only six days ago, when the Joker took schoolchildren and Commissioner Gordon hostage.

"Got it."

Turning away, I continued searching for the hidden device. I wonder how my assistant is doing? I hope she waits for me, otherwise I'll definitely be late.

"And what's clear to you?"

"Bats didn't accept you, said something like: you're still too young and naive, you shouldn't face all the dirt of this godforsaken city and risk your life. Study, listen to your parents and eat porridge in the morning..."

"That's not what he said at all!"

"Who cares, the meaning is still the same," I waved it off. "Where is this fucking bomb!"

"And how are you even sure that it exists?"

"Because this is the standard in this type of mining."

"Okay, what should I look for?" the girl gave up, realizing that one clown was not going to run away anywhere and was really trying to defuse the building, at least the first detonator was almost completely gutted, which seemed to hint at his relative honesty.

"A rectangular box measuring thirty by thirty and twenty centimeters high. It could be painted red and green."

"Why can't we just track it by the wires? They stretch like that," Batgirl shone a flashlight on one of the explosive briquettes and the wires coming from it, hidden behind the interweaving of underground utility pipes.

"Because it's remote. Each such briquette contains a hidden radio receiver and it can only be turned off from the central detonator. And you can't just defuse the briquettes, you defuse one secondary one, and the rest will go off right away. You also can't disconnect them from each other. Although, if you really want to, you can, but you need special equipment, plus it takes a long time. In short, it's easier to find the central one and that's it."

"So you did place them after all? Or did someone do it on your orders?"

"Harley. And she didn't do it on purpose. Back then, my assistant didn't know that we had become heroes, so she got carried away."

"Yeah, you can tell the doctors in Arkham about that..." Batgirl barely whispered under her breath, but I still heard her, leaving her words without comment. "Looks like she found it."

The flashlight beam illuminated the edge of a box of the right size, which was hidden under the very ceiling between the interweaving pipes. And how did the blonde manage to stuff it in there on her own?!

"Great, damn, now I need a ladder..."

There was nothing like that in the visible space, only a half-collapsed chair stood forlornly in the middle of a pile of junk that no one needed.

To get to the device normally, I need to climb almost one and a half meters, improvised objects will definitely not be enough, and such a stand will be painfully unstable, although... A detonator of this type is relatively primitive and any person without serious problems with coordination can handle it, if they know how. My gaze stopped on the girl in the bat costume, who felt uncomfortable.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't want to drag myself for a ladder, I've already wasted a lot of time. This device is quite simple, so you can easily handle it if you know how."

"Just don't tell me that you want to..." Batgirl took a step back.

"Exactly! I'll give you a lift, and you'll just short-circuit a couple of the necessary wires to send a signal to turn off."

"Some kind of joke, right?"

"I'm serious. Hmm...You want to become a real heroine, and demining the school is a good application for becoming one. Besides, I can write a recommendation to Bats... Of course, if we survive."

"I think I'll refuse the recommendation," the girl fearfully approached the necessary wall. "Help."

"Um... You should take off your shoes, they're dirty, I don't want to stain my clothes."

"I won't take off my shoes!"

"Then I won't help you!"

She turned away.

"Damn, this is some kind of surrealism... You're just trying to drive me crazy. Pretending to be kind, so that later..." her imagination clearly stalled, drawing various options.

"So, if you don't want to, then I'll go look for the stairs," already about to leave the basement, a voice stopped me.

"Okay, I'll take off my shoes."

"That would be great right away."

I quickly approached the tense girl and began to instruct:

"Climb onto my shoulders. When you find yourself on top, do not move the device under any circumstances. Knock lightly on all its walls, when you hear a hollow sound, it means you have found the right one. Lightly press on its upper left corner and slide the knife blade under it to carefully remove it. Do you have a knife? ... The blade is too short, take mine," having handed the weapon to the slightly overloaded young heroine, I decided to take a break for now. "Get up, I will explain the rest when you cope with the first points."

"Good," she was clearly nervous, but began to unlace her shoes. "Turn away."

"What? For what?"

"Just turn away, you are making me nervous."

"Okay..."

"That's it, you can turn around."

My temporary ally simply unlaced her shoes to easily remove them.

I clasped my hands together, crouching down a little.

"Cute..."

She was wearing socks with bunnies hugging hearts.

"There just weren't any others..."

"I readily believe you, and now don't get distracted."

She stood on my shoulders and began to voice all her actions. And I cursed to myself, since the pain hadn't gone away at all, but laughing, remembering the interworld, was not at all advisable now.

"Found the right wall... Pressed... Slid the blade under... Removed... What next? There are a bunch of wires here and they are all the same color, which one should I cut?"

"None, you don't need them. There are capacitors on the board, see?"

"The wires are in the way."

"Don't touch them, some are specially without insulation, to create a short circuit upon contact when you move the device. Look like this. You need an electrolytic capacitor... It looks like a cylinder..."

"M-m-m... I see two–"

"You need zero point twenty-two hundredths of a microfarad."

"–Got it."

"Carefully short-circuit its legs until the speaker beeps."

"Done."

"Great, now you can go down, just grab the device. Don't be afraid, now you can even play football with it."

Having lowered the girl right into her shoes, I took the device and my knife.

I remembered the hanging quest very well, but this type of detonator is good because the signal board that prevents defusing and the radio transmitter itself are two independent parts, so now I just sent a signal to turn off the remaining charges.

[The Fifth Beginning (spirit) +5]

[The quest "Hero or Villain?" completed: personally defuse the planted bombs in the city: 2/2. Reward: 4 free points.]

Great, and it also raised my spirit quite a bit, although initially it was half that of a normal person.

Batgirl kindly helped me collect the remains of the bombs so that they wouldn't accidentally detonate. Unfortunately, eighty percent of the materials were no longer suitable for reuse, but at least a black sheep gets a tuft of wool.

"Well, thanks for helping, without you it would have taken much longer, I would have definitely hesitated with the radio detonator," grabbing the bag, I hurried to the exit.

"No one let you go."

Looking back, I saw the commissioner's daughter, who was seriously minded, holding a four-shot shock pistol in her outstretched hand, by God, it would have been more logical to use it at the very beginning of our acquaintance.

"Hey, I'm with the good guys now. I'm defusing the bombs, over there," I had to slowly lower the bag and raise my hands, giving myself room to maneuver.

"That's great. If you're good, then you'll go to Arkham without resistance, they'll confirm it, and you'll come out a worthy member of society. And I'll become a real Batgirl, because what could confirm my qualifications better than catching Batman's sworn enemy?"

"I can't go to that mental hospital, absolutely not. Maybe I can just write you a letter of recommendation?" I asked with timid hope.

How well it all started... Wait, the beginning was really shitty, but the middle of our acquaintance was not bad.

"Oh, I knew it would end like this."

The first dart flies at me with a quiet crackle, but it's not for nothing that I have as many as forty-five points in the First Beginning and almost as many in the Sixth. It wasn't hard to calculate the trajectory and dodge the first shot.

Laughter escapes from my mouth, helping to increase concentration and block the pain from sudden movements.

There are three charges left in the stun gun. Two darts fly in rapid strokes a couple of millimeters from my body. The red-haired girl is clearly nervous, because there is only one shot left. I slowly walk towards her. And here it is, the last charge, which I catch with my hand, without even thinking about dodging.

My opponent was clearly happy until she realized that I was not trying to fall to the ground in convulsions. It was a risky trick, but it worked. My hand twitches unpleasantly, but nothing fatal. A new portion of laughter fills the closed room, terrifying my future victim.

"Don't come near!"

A now useless weapon flies at me, which is immediately thrown into the corner, along with the previously caught dart.

The costumed heroine panics, gropes for her belt and takes out a telescopic baton, her eyes show determination to fight to the end, but it won't help her.

After a minute of active struggle, I can't stop enjoying the memories of the interworld, since I tried to gently grab the girl, and she tried to fight back with all her might. If it weren't for the pain relief, I would definitely be in trouble, but as it is, only my left arm and ribs hurt a little.

"What are you going to do to me?" the heavily breathing beauty, tied with ropes from my sports bag, looks at me angrily, after all, it was not for nothing that I grabbed them.

"What was promised at the very beginning of our meeting–"

"Just don't tell me..."

"–Exactly!"

My lips stretch into a smile.

~Slap~

"I promised that I would spank you at the very beginning of our acquaintance? And promises must be kept."

"You won't get away with this!" the cutie is outraged to the limit, but I don't care, she asked for it.

"Yeah."

~Slap~

A new blow falls on the heroine's butt, who grinds her teeth in anger, but can do nothing with the strong knots while I hold her on my lap.

~Slap~

But in fact, it's cool, it can pass for meditation.

After a couple more slaps, I stood up, placing the victim of the execution in my place, which was a half-collapsed chair.

"I hope you learned your lesson, and I won't have to repeat it," looking at my pocket watch, I realized that I was already half an hour late, and I still had a three-kilometer run through the sewers to do. "Sorry, but I have to go. Don't be bored."

Waving goodbye, I hurried to the meeting point.

Fifteen minutes of running through the sewers and here I am.

"Mister J, how good that you came, otherwise I was already going to go looking for you," my assistant stood up from two sports bags, filled to the brim.

"Phew... Sorry for the delay, there were some difficulties..."

"With the remote detonator?"

"Yeah, exactly with it. I see you stocked up thoroughly?"

"Yes, but I didn't think about how to carry all this..."

"Don't worry, give me all the heavy stuff." I'll just check if it's really possible to swing the first start, carrying heavy things over long distances.

"But, Mister J., you're after an injury... Maybe you shouldn't strain yourself so much? We can shorten the route by ground transport."

"It's not worth the risk. I feel healthy... As much as possible, so give me all the heaviest things here."

"Oh, okay."

Having redistributed all the things into three bags, two of which I took, we set off on the return journey.

***

"Mister J., are you aware that we are being followed?" asked the blonde quietly after an hour of silence: we were both exhausted from today, so there was no time for conversation.

Listening closely, I noted the almost inaudible duplication of my faithful companion's steps.

"Now yes, and it seems I know who is watching us."

So what to do about it? It's clear that someone didn't get enough of a lesson, which means it will have to be repeated.

"Go and lightly tap the bat in time with my steps to muffle them, there will be a convenient fork in a kilometer. You go ahead, I will hide and lie in wait for our pursuer," I ordered barely audibly.

"Okay."

~Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock~

Harley's footsteps stopped duplicating, which was to be expected when the object's behavior changes abruptly, but soon it resumed.

After a while, the necessary fork appeared, where I immediately turned and hid, while Harley walked on, tapping out the rhythm. Having put the bags on the ground, I began to wait for our pursuer, and soon he appeared: illuminating the path with a flashlight at the lowest brightness, and covering it with her hand, a girl in a bat costume was walking.

A sharp jerk from the darkness, three seconds of struggle, and she finds herself in my strong grip, unable to get out.

"Let me go!"

"Yeah, got a running start. I see that one time was not enough for you," okay, now we need to tie her up again and spank her. "Harley! Come here!"

"You caught the pursuer, Mister J." harlequin said the obvious when she saw the red-haired heroine in my grip. "Wait, that's the bitch who was at the chemical plant! She's the reason you got injured, let's kill her!" the blonde thought for a second. "Although no, you definitely became better after that, so she should be rewarded..."

"Well, I have an intermediate option... We just need to move to a drier place, I just happen to have one in mind. And get some ropes on the way."