Chapter 129: Naruto's Depression 2
It was too much. I backed away, almost tripping. My mind was spinning, each word ringing like a bell in my head.
I moved away from the scene, my hands trembling. Was it a Genjutsu? Or a nightmare? Was I still asleep? Was all of this real? I didn't know what to think anymore.
My father, my mother who had died. Hiruzen, Jiraiya, Iruka... everything seemed to be collapsing around me.
I ran into the night, trying to escape from these truths that were wrapping around my mind like a poison. But they were there, impossible to ignore.
— "What am I supposed to do now...?" I murmured to myself, my voice broken by emotion.
I couldn't understand. Not yet. I needed time. A lot of time.
***
I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, the words I had heard in the alley echoed in my head. The truth about Hiruzen, Jiraiya, my father... and what Shikai-sensei had said. Was it true? Or had I misunderstood?
I sat on the edge of my bed, my arms around my knees, staring at an invisible point on the floor. The moon shone through the window, but its light did not warm the cold that had settled within me.
— "Why...?" I murmured into the silence of my room.
I didn't know who this question was directed at. Hiruzen? Shikai-sensei? Myself? I wasn't sure. But one thing was clear: I couldn't chase these thoughts from my mind.
For several nights, I stayed awake, reliving that conversation over and over again. The revelations were like a poison seeping into my mind, paralyzing me.
— "They're manipulating Naruto..."
Shikai's words echoed incessantly. Jiraiya, Iruka, even Hiruzen... Were they really as hypocritical as Shikai-sensei had said? And why did Shikai-sensei seem so willing to follow orders, even if it meant killing me?
I felt lost. My mentors, my role models, those I had always believed in... were they really trustworthy?
The days passed, but I hardly went out. I didn't even go to train anymore. The idea of talking to anyone exhausted me.
That night, as I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, a knock sounded on the door.
— "Naruto-niichan! It's me, Konohamaru!"
I sighed. I wasn't in the mood to talk, but before I could respond, he entered without waiting.
— "Hey, Naruto-niichan, what are you doing? Why are you locked up here all alone?" he asked, his hands on his hips, his face full of mischief.
I sat up slightly, but my tone was sharp.
— "I want to be alone, Konohamaru. Go away."
He narrowed his eyes, clearly displeased with my response.
— "No! I know what will cheer you up!" he declared enthusiastically.
Before I could protest, he quickly formed mudras and shouted:
— "Sexy Jutsu!"
Smoke appeared, and Konohamaru transformed into a female version of himself, posing provocatively.
I frowned and raised my hand.
— "Stop that. Seriously, Konohamaru. I'm not in the mood."
The smoke dissipated, and he returned to his normal self, a confused expression on his face.
— "Hey, what's wrong with you, Naruto-niichan? You're always the first to laugh at this!"
I turned away.
— "Just... leave me alone, okay?"
Konohamaru seemed to think for a moment, then he put a hand on his hip.
— "Okay, I see. You need time. But I promise I'll find a way to make you smile, niichan!"
He turned around and left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Once again, silence fell.
I closed my eyes and clenched my fists. Why did I feel so alone? Why did I feel like everyone around me was lying to me?
The conversation I had overheard that night resurfaced. Shikai-sensei's words, Hiruzen's coldness... were they real? Or were they part of a plan I didn't yet understand?
I had always believed that people like Iruka and Jiraiya were there for me, that they loved me for who I was. But if all of this was a lie?
I remembered Hiruzen's words.
— "Naruto must remain ignorant..."
Ignorant of what? Why? Why was I treated like a child incapable of understanding the truths that concerned me?
That night, I went out onto the roof of my apartment, gazing at the moon shining high in the sky. The cool air felt good, but my mind remained heavy.
And why had Hiruzen spent my father's money without thinking of me? Without Shikai-sensei, I would have to continue eating low-quality instant noodles.
Everything seemed false. Friendly faces, encouraging words... maybe they were all just a mask to keep me under control.
But a small voice deep inside me refused to accept that. Iruka-sensei had always supported me, even when everyone else despised me. Jiraiya had taught me to fight, showed me how to become stronger.
— "They can't all be like that..." I murmured, almost to myself.
When the sun rose, I still hadn't slept. The shadows of the night seemed to have dissipated, but my mind was still clouded.
I took a deep breath. I had to find answers, but I didn't know how yet. Maybe talking to someone would help, or maybe I had to wait and observe.
For now, one thing was certain: I couldn't stay locked up in my thoughts. If I wanted to understand the truth, I had to become stronger.
***