Chapter 2
After reclaiming his son, Ji-hoon explained his situation to his company and managed to extend his leave using both annual and monthly leaves, obtaining a total of nine days including the weekends before and after.
He began to spend what seemed like a dream-like, much longed-for period of time.
"Yeonwoo, this is the house you lived in when you were little. You might not remember it," Ji-hoon introduced Yeonwoo first to the one-room studio where he had grown up.
The family's studio hadn't changed much since then.
The baby items Yeonwoo used were still neatly in place.
The only changes were in the kitchen that Ji-hoon used and the bed he slept in.
On the first night he brought Yeonwoo back, Ji-hoon fell into a deep sleep holding his precious son in that bed.
Even after hard days at work, Ji-hoon, who used to rely on alcohol to fall asleep because he couldn't stop thinking about his family, finally had a moment of peaceful sleep.
Of course, the thought that his still-living wife had died was a profound sadness, but he couldn't show it.
All the more for his son, who had become mute from the grief of losing his mother.
On the second day, Ji-hoon took Yeonwoo to the hospital.
"It's selective mutism."
"Selective... mutism?"
"Yes, in dramas, you might hear it called aphasia, but aphasia is a disease caused by physical brain damage. Selective mutism is a symptom that commonly arises from psychological issues. It seems your son has been severely traumatized. I'll refer you to the psychiatric department for this."
As expected.
His son had not yet recovered from the shock of losing his mother.
After all, his mother, who was everything to him, had left, and he had grown up in such a hellish environment—it would have been strange if he were fine.
Had he been there then, perhaps it wouldn't have been this bad? Such guilt washed over him.
"Yeonwoo, it's okay. Everything will be alright."
Nodding.
Yeonwoo seemed to understand his father's words, nodding his head.
"Yeonwoo, is there anywhere you want to go? Daddy will take you. Where would you like to go? An amusement park? A zoo? A kid's cafe?"
Yeonwoo looked at him with wide eyes as if asking what those were, and then began to look around cautiously.
"It's okay, Yeonwoo. You can ask Daddy for anything. Where do you want to go?"
Then Yeonwoo opened his mouth.
He couldn't speak, but from the shape of his lips, it was clear he was saying one thing.
Mom.
"...Do you want to see Mom?"
Nod.
The child was acutely aware of his mother's death.
And Ji-hoon, through the police, knew the place where his brother-in-law had arbitrarily cremated and scattered his wife's ashes.
Ji-hoon pondered how to explain this so that his son wouldn't be mentally traumatized.
Then Yeonwoo patted Ji-hoon's leg.
Ji-hoon, puzzled, looked at Yeonwoo, who shaped his lips to say.
"...Is it okay? Are you saying it's okay?"
Nod.
What’s okay… Ah.
"You're saying it's okay not to go to Mom?"
Nod.
Incredible.
A mere six-year-old, not yet in elementary school, was showing such consideration.
Reflecting on his own six years, Ji-hoon felt a poignant tug at his heart as he held his son's hand tightly.
"Yes, let's go. To Mom."
Immediately, Ji-hoon took Yeonwoo to the place where his wife's ashes were scattered.
Though not blood-related, the inhuman man known as the uncle had apparently had a trace of conscience.
It wouldn’t have been surprising if he had thrown the remains in a trash bag, but he had at least come near the Paldang Dam to scatter his wife’s ashes.
"...Fortunately, it’s not too far."
At least if he missed his wife, it was close enough to visit.
While it was near Seoul, this place with a dam and preserved nature had quite a decent scenery.
Yeonwoo stared blankly at the landscape, as if mesmerized.
"The exact location is not known, but... Mom is here. This river, the sky, the trees, they all hold Mom," Ji-hoon reassured him.
Nod.
Yeonwoo did not cry.
Instead, he seemed lost in deep thought, uncharacteristic of a child, as if reminiscing about the past.
Thus, the father and son stayed there silently for a long time.
After that day.
Ji-hoon wished he could immediately take Yeonwoo on a trip or to an amusement park or zoo, but he realized there was much to do before that.
He had to finalize administrative tasks like changing Yeonwoo’s address and buying him clothes and necessities, as the boy didn’t have a single proper outfit.
Though he received help from an online shopping mall that offered next-day delivery, it still cost him several precious holidays.
After sorting various matters, Ji-hoon finally took Yeonwoo to the zoo or amusement park.
Amidst taking photos of Yeonwoo looking bewildered on a carousel and marveling at elephants, Ji-hoon's mind was occupied by other concerns.
As a typical Type J, he wasn't the kind to leave tomorrow's worries for tomorrow.
His biggest concern was what would happen when his leave ended, and he had to return to work.
Should he send Yeonwoo to kindergarten or daycare?
Was there a daycare that operated late into the night where they currently lived?
The original reason he and his wife had chosen this one-room studio was its proximity to his company.
They had planned to move when it was time for Yeonwoo to start kindergarten.
This area was full of office studio apartments, merely a place for those willing to pay a lot to sleep an extra 30 minutes due to its proximity to their workplaces.
It was hard even to find a kindergarten, let alone an elementary school.
"It's time to move," he realized.
But then another worry nagged at him.
Was it right to immediately enroll his son, who hadn’t had proper social experiences, in kindergarten?
What if the mute child faced unreasonable situations in kindergarten?
It might be an unnecessary worry, but the cautious Ji-hoon considered even the worst scenarios.
Perhaps later, but sending him to kindergarten right away would be a mistake.
Should he hire a babysitter who could also take care of the housework?
Upon searching online, he found that finding a Korean babysitter these days was difficult.
I understand that there is no distinction in humanity based on nationality or race, and that it's wrong to discriminate, but I can't help feeling uneasy about entrusting Yeonwoo to a foreigner.
Yet, there were no other options available.
Leaving him with family wasn't feasible; my father had passed away, and my only sister was temporarily in the USA for her studies.
Ah, there was my mother.
However, the relationship between Ji-hoon and his mother was not particularly good.
Ji-hoon's mother, who had chosen her career over her children and husband, divorced and Ji-hoon and his sister grew up under their father's care.
Although my mother had been overseas and had returned to Korea about five years ago upon retiring, unlike my sister who kept in touch and met with her regularly, I had only met her three or four times.
Even those times were because my sister forcefully dragged me along.
Just as I had given up on the idea of family assistance, surprisingly, I received a call from my mother.
-It's me.
"Yes, Mother."
-You found Yeonwoo?
"Did you hear from Jimin?"
-Yes. Are you taking care of him?
"Yes, I'm on leave, spending time with him."
-And after your leave ends? I heard that's what you're worried about?
"…I'm considering hiring a babysitter."
-......
My mother was silent for a long time.
"If you have nothing else to say, I'll hang up..."
Just as I was about to hang up due to the growing awkwardness.
-I'll take care of him.
"…Pardon?"
-Yes, so come with your son to my house. It's not far from your office. I'll take care of him while you're at work.
Stunned and puzzled by her offer, I responded without even realizing.
"My mother will... take care of him?"
There was a hint of resentment and distrust in my voice.
Resentment towards a mother who had only given birth but had never raised her young children.
-At least... better than a stranger. I'm not telling you to move in. Just let me watch him until he adjusts.
"……."
-If you decide, bring him over. I'll hang up now.
That was how the rare conversation with my mother ended.
I looked at Yeonwoo beside me, my poor son who was just experiencing the world with a sense of wonder.
Maybe, despite everything, blood and family are better?
At least, my mother wasn’t someone who would engage in irrational behavior like violence.
The only things bothering me were the unresolved bitterness and the profound awkwardness between my mother and me.
But the dilemma didn't last long.
Being human, I couldn't help but feel that blood was more trustworthy, despite our estranged relationship.
"Yeonwoo, we'll be staying at Grandma's house for a while."
At the mention of 'Grandma,' Yeonwoo's face went pale.
I immediately realized that Yeonwoo was remembering my wife's stepmother.
"Don’t worry. The grandma we’re going to see today is my mother. You know the grandma Yeonwoo knows isn’t here anymore, right?"
Nod, nod.
"My mother, that is, your maternal grandmother is... a good person."
Really, a good person?
I’m not sure.
After deciding to live with my mother and setting a date, I packed our belongings.
My clothes, Yeonwoo's clothes, and toys I bought for him, among others.
The rest were all memories and almost relics shared with my wife.
I decided to preserve them as they were.
"Let’s go."
On the day we left.
I said so as I looked back at the home filled only with things I had shared with my wife and took Yeonwoo's hand, heading to my mother's house.
My mother, who had left her family to live abroad for her career, had, though I hated to admit it, led a successful life.
She had attained wealth and prestige.
Yet, surprisingly, the place she lived didn’t reflect her wealth and prestige.
It was an apartment in Bucheon, not a wealthy neighborhood like Gangnam, and the building was over 30 years old.
Actually, the apartment complex wasn’t bad.
Although it was old, there was a playground right in front of my mother’s building, the landscaping was well done, and it was peaceful, unbelievably so for a densely populated and bustling city apartment complex.
Now, the only thing left was to see if she could truly take good care of her grandson.
It was unclear whether my sister had coaxed her into reluctantly agreeing to look after her grandson, or whether she had developed an interest in her blood relations late in life, but having accepted my mother’s offer of help, there was nothing else to do but face what came.
Ding-dong.
With the sound of the classic doorbell.
"Come in."
My mother, Heo Ok, greeted us.
Behind her gold-rimmed glasses was an unreadable cold gaze and the charisma accumulated alongside her wealth and prestige.
She looked at her grandson.