Melting Slow

It was an unfamiliar weekend morning. 

She woke up and lay in bed, staring blankly out the window at the courtyard. The reeds beneath the trees were swaying softly in the wind, rustling as they moved.

‘Feels like a dream…’

It had been a few days since she moved into this house. Everything still felt unreal.

“Is the team leader gone….”

Yeo-min slowly sat up. The spacious room still had no sign of being lived in. It felt as though she was staying at a nice hotel with a great view.

After a quick wash, she carefully stepped out into the living room. Bright sunlight streamed into the large sitting area, sparkling. Yeo-min looked around quietly. There was no sign of Yoo Hwan.

“Team leader, are you here?”

She knew he was probably not there, but still, she asked into the empty air. Of course, no answer came back.

Yeo-min took another look around the empty house before heading to the kitchen to rummage through the cupboards.

“I’m starving… Is there any ramen?”

But there wasn’t even ramen or any ingredients for cooking.

“Nothing at all? Is this a model house or what?”

Around the house were just high-walled residences, and there wasn’t even a convenience store in sight. She was too lazy to go out and buy food, so she kept muttering, hoping there would be something available. That was when she heard footsteps approaching from the distant hallway by the entrance.

Yeo-min turned around with a look on her face as if she was some sort of trespasser. Yoo Hwan was walking in, dressed in training clothes. He must have just come back from his morning exercise.

“You’re up?”

“Yes, just now.”

“I tried waking you for breakfast, but you didn’t even flinch. At least your eyes are open now.”

“Did I do that?”

“Yeah. You even kicked me out.”

She wondered when he’d come in and woken her up, and then realized that someone had poked her in the cheek. Feeling embarrassed, Yeo-min turned back to face the cupboard.

“Do you have any ramen by any chance?”

“No.”

“Then how about other ingredients? I looked in the pantry and all I saw was a pile of books. Do you live without food?”

“There are ingredients for pasta. Want me to make it for you?”

Make it for her? Yeo-min turned around in surprise. 

Yoo Hwan, seated in front of the table that resembled a wine bar, looked at her with amusement. Then he got up and began approaching her, as if he really was about to make something. Yeo-min quickly felt flustered.

“No, I’ll make it myself!”

Yeo-min held him back with both hands. How could she dare let her team leader cook for her? It was an unthinkable notion. This was clearly something an assistant should do.

“Do you even know where the ingredients are?”

“If you tell me, I can manage.”

“They’re in the cupboard up there.”

Yoo Hwan gestured with his chin to the high cupboard. He also mentioned that the cooking utensils were in there. Yeo-min opened the cupboard door herself, refusing his offer to help. She was so used to living alone that accepting help felt awkward.

“You don’t have to help me, I’m going to eat, so I’ll do it myself.”

She felt like she was in someone else’s house, and she couldn’t eat. 

When Yeo-min refused, Yoo Hwan nodded in agreement.

Yeo-min opened the cupboard drawer wide and looked up. She could see the edge of the ingredients—pasta, sauce, and even the neatly arranged pan next to them. The problem, however, was that she couldn’t quite reach them. The ceiling was high, so the cupboard was also far out of reach.

Yeo-min stood on her tiptoes, groping for it, but it wasn’t easy to grasp. Just as she was struggling to reach, she suddenly felt hands grab her waist. Yoo Hwan had approached her from behind and wrapped his large hands around her waist.

“Ah!”

Yeo-min exclaimed as her body was suddenly lifted into the air. 

Yoo Hwan was holding her up from behind, almost as if lifting a child. Despite her startled flailing, he held her steadily without the slightest wobble.

“Got it?”

His voice came from behind her neck. Yeo-min was surprised at the sudden height change, but she didn’t miss her chance. She grabbed the pasta ingredients firmly. Then her body was lowered back down.

Yeo-min placed the pasta and sauce jar on the kitchen counter. But almost immediately, her body was lifted up again.

“Get the pan and utensils too.”

She obediently complied. She hurriedly grabbed the pan and utensils, and once again, she was set back down. After all the ingredients were placed on the counter, Yoo Hwan finally let go of her waist. Yeo-min turned around with a bewildered expression. The man who had just lifted a grown woman as if she were a puppy was now standing with his arms crossed, smiling loosely.

“You startled me, doing that all of a sudden.”

“You said you didn’t want my help, right? So I’ll let you get it yourself.”

Did that really count as getting it herself? 

She had merely reached for it. Seeing Yoo Hwan’s playful smile, she knew exactly what was going on—he was teasing her again.

“I could’ve used a chair to reach it.”

“I was closer than the chair.”

Muttering under her breath, Yeo-min washed the pan and put the pasta water on to boil. At some point, she asked if they had olive oil, and once again, she was suddenly lifted to check the nearby cupboard. After soaring through the air a few more times like that, Yeo-min recalled a memory from her past.

…Come to think of it, when she was young, this man—Hwan oppa—used to lift her like this quite often.

‘Yeomin-ah, this is a persimmon.’

One day, a small persimmon was hanging from a persimmon tree. It was so fascinating that he had lifted her up to get a closer look. She remembered picking that tiny green persimmon and handing it to Yoo Hwan.

‘A baby persimmon, huh? It looks cute. Oppa, do you want to try it?’

‘Sure.’

Young Yoo Hwan, curious and amused, had put the unripe persimmon in his mouth, only to immediately spit it out with a horrified expression. She still vividly remembered the way his face had scrunched up, saying he had never tasted something so awful in his life. His reaction had been priceless back then.

Thinking of the young Yoo Hwan, Yeo-min looked down at the bubbling pan. She pondered whether she should add enough pasta for two servings and turned around.

“Did you eat breakfast already?”

“Why?”

“If you haven’t, let’s eat together.”

“Should I share with you too?” 

“Of course. We’re together, after all.”

Sitting at the table with his chin resting on his hand, Yoo Hwan looked slightly surprised.

“I thought you’d eat alone since you insisted so stubbornly on doing it yourself.”

“What? I’m not that heartless. It’s only natural to share if I’m cooking anyway.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” 

Yeo-min nodded emphatically. What kind of life had this man lived, she wondered. In a situation like this, it was only natural to share a meal. Even someone like her, who hadn’t received much love, knew that.

Yoo Hwan stared at Yeo-min for a moment and then muttered as if talking to himself.

“This is the first time someone’s cooking just for me. It feels new.”

Yeo-min almost dropped the chopsticks she was holding. The first time someone’s cooking for him? How could that be possible? He’d dated countless women over the years, surely enough to have shared hundreds of meals with his partners. 

Yeo-min stirred the boiling pasta once. Since earlier, a question had been tickling her mouth, wanting to be asked.

“Um, team leader, can I ask you something?”

“Two things.”

“How many girlfriends have you had?” 

Five? Ten? Or maybe dozens?

Yoo Hwan’s expression turned slightly peculiar. He kept his chin propped up, staring at Yeo-min, then tilted his head slightly.

“What’s your definition of a girlfriend?”

“Definition? Well, I mean, someone you like, spend time with, eat meals, go on dates… that kind of person.”

“Then none that count.”

“Pardon?”

“By your definition, someone I’ve only had sex with can’t be considered a girlfriend. That kind of person is usually called a partner.”

Yeo-min closed her mouth, looking uncomfortable. A sex partner… It was moments like these that reminded her just how different their perspectives were. It was a kind of cool detachment that felt almost chilling. 

Come to think of it, her relationship with Yoo Hwan was somewhat similar. They were married, but it was more like a partnership. Maybe they could be called marriage partners. Since they had sex, it did feel like a sex partner situation, but considering they were married, the marriage partner seemed fitting.

“Then I guess I win. I did have a proper ex.”

Though she had been dumped with the excuse that he was marrying her sister.

“Do you still have partners like that? It seems like you’ve been staying home a lot lately, and with work keeping you busy, you must not have much time.”

“…….”

“Or do you have multiple such partners? I know it might be presumptuous of me, but I’d prefer if there were as few as possible. If rumors spread that you’re still seeing other people after our marriage, it would make me look really pathetic. So, if you could, keep it to a minimum…”

I hope you have sex with as few partners as possible. It was ridiculous to say such a thing, even to herself. 

Yeo-min stirred the pan with cooking chopsticks, smiling bitterly. Truthfully, the very idea that he might have other partners made her upset, but logically, this wasn’t something she had any right to be upset about. Wasn’t this exactly what she’d agreed to endure when she accepted his proposal?

‘I will always respect your privacy, team leader. If the reason you don’t want to get married is because you hate being tied down, I can be the kind of wife who suits you.’

She had steeled herself from the moment she said those words. She repeated to herself over and over not to feel sad or upset.

Yet from earlier, there had been no response from behind her. Yeo-min glanced over her shoulder. Yoo Hwan was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, watching her closely.

“Chae Yeomin. Are you seriously asking your fiancé, who lives with you, if he has sex partners?” he asked with an incredulous expression.

Yeo-min was flustered. She couldn’t quite understand why he was reacting that way.

“Yes. If my question was rude, I apologize. But I thought it was a reasonable question for a future wife to ask.”

Hadn’t he lived a life of indulgence until now. 

So, it was natural for her to assume it might still be the case. 

People don’t change that easily. Change is human nature only in death. And in Yeo-min’s eyes, Yoo Hwan was far from dead, he was very much alive, a hopeless libertine. He was also remarkably well-endowed and had impeccable skills in bed. It wouldn’t be surprising if he had several partners at the same time.

Yoo Hwan clicked his tongue.

“Chae Yeo-min, you seem normal, but sometimes you really go off in strange directions…”

“There’s also a ton of condoms in the house. I thought you kept them to use elsewhere.”

Yeo-min had seen them in the alpha room in his bedroom. Boxes stacked up in the drawer—enough to last an ordinary person a whole year. It was obvious that he bought them in bulk for multiple partners.

Yeo-min transferred the pasta to the plates and wiped off the sauce that had splattered around. Yoo Hwan remained silent for a while. He continued drumming his fingers slowly on the table before finally brushing his hair back in frustration.

“Chae Yeo-min. Are you, by any chance, bothered by my past?”

“Your past?”

“Yeah. My relationships with women, for example.”

Yeo-min placed the pasta plate down and answered slowly.

“Um… Not really.”

“……”

Yoo Hwan’s expression became even more crumpled. He was the one who had asked if she cared about his past, but when Yeo-min said she didn’t, it clearly irked him. Yeo-min felt a bit flustered. She couldn’t understand what was going through his mind. Why was he suddenly asking if she cared about his relationships with women?

If she had been bothered by his past, she never would have accepted his proposal in the first place. She approached him fully prepared to accept everything about him. Of course, hearing that he had multiple sex partners would probably still hurt her deeply. Even now, just imagining he had other people in his life made her heart ache.

But Yoo Hwan was never meant to be ‘Chae Yeo-min’s husband.’ He was like the wind—free and impossible to hold. Besides, hadn’t he said it himself? He gave her the best room because she was a guest. He was right. Although they were engaged, they were fundamentally strangers. While they shared their bodies, she was just a guest, and their relationship was nothing more than a shallow, contract-based one.

So she decided not to expect anything from the start. That way, there would be no room for disappointment.

Yeo-min picked up her fork first. Even while she ate the pasta, Yoo Hwan kept his eyes on her. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, Yeo-min gestured towards his plate.

“Eat. It’s getting cold.”

“I bought them to use with you.”

“What?” 

“The condom size I use is hard to find in Korea, so I bought a lot in advance.” 

Ah, so that’s what he meant. He bought them in bulk for that reason. Yeo-min nodded in understanding.

“Well, considering your size, it would be hard to find them at a convenience store. Right. It makes sense to stock up if you’re going to use a lot. You’re quite prepared.”

“…I bought them to use ‘only’ with you. Since I decided to marry you, I haven’t been with anyone else.”

“I see. Well, that’s natural. I haven’t been with anyone else either.”

Yeo-min’s reaction was calm this time as well. She figured that Yoo Hwan had been too busy lately to have time for any other partners anyway.

“……”

Yoo Hwan fell silent again. Yeo-min twirled her fork in the pasta and ate neatly, slurping the noodles. In between bites, she asked, “Aren’t you eating?” but Yoo Hwan only looked at her with a discontented expression, not seeming to have any appetite.

‘If you weren’t going to eat, why did you say you would?’

In the end, Yeo-min pulled his pasta plate over to her side, figuring it would be a waste to throw it away if he wasn’t going to eat it. As soon as she did, Yoo Hwan’s gaze sharpened, and he pulled the plate back.

“Why are you taking it?”

“Because you weren’t eating.”

“It’s mine.”

“But you weren’t eating it.”