Mash-Up: I'm Not A Substitute

"Is... is she your girlfriend?"

The middle-aged man with a receding hairline glanced at Takashi, then at Watanabe Akari, skeptical that this kid even knew her.

Takashi shot him a sidelong glance. "If she's not my girlfriend, then is she yours, old man?"

"You rude little brat! Do you want me to teach you a lesson?"

The man had no idea what Takashi meant by "old man," but he was sure it wasn't anything good.

He had already been drinking, and now this brat was talking back to him. His temper flared, and he was ready to challenge Takashi to a warrior's duel.

"You?"

Takashi's gaze involuntarily drifted down to the man's beer belly, which completely obscured his feet when he looked down. He smirked.

"I don't believe it."

The man was furious.

Really furious.

Today, no matter what, he was going to teach this brat a lesson.

Make him understand the power of an adult.

Just as he rolled up his sleeves, ready to fight, Takashi casually pulled out his phone and waved it in front of him.

"Old man, should I call the police and tell them you're harassing my girlfriend?"

If you want a samurai duel, don't blame me for playing dirty.

"You... you..."

The old man's drunkenness dissipated almost instantly.

He stared at Takashi, dumbfounded.

He had been thinking about throwing punches, not dealing with this kind of "female defense" strategy.

"In Japan, being accused of sexual harassment could get you fired at best, or put behind bars at worst."

Takashi spoke slowly and elegantly.

But to the old man, he looked like a demon.

"You're not young anymore, old man. You wouldn't want to lose your job, would you?" 

Takashi spread his hands, smiling. "So, would you rather pay up or go to the police station with me?"

"Shit, I've been set up!" That was the old man's first thought.

But he had been around the block a few times. He quickly calmed down. "How do you prove I harassed her? Do you have evidence?"

"Do you have evidence proving you didn't?"

The first thing Takashi did after arriving in Japan was study the law.

Because knowing the law means knowing how to break it properly.

In Japan, if a man can't provide evidence that he didn't commit harassment, he can't clear his name.

"....."

The old man was speechless.

Because he really couldn't prove it.

"Besides, how do you know I didn't record it?"

Takashi waved his phone again.

The old man felt reassured. "Impossible. If you recorded it, there would've been a flash."

Japanese phones have locked shutter sounds and flash settings.

If Takashi had secretly recorded him, he would've noticed.

Takashi looked at him like he was an idiot. "I can record videos, you know."

The old man: "..."

Damn it!

This little bastard!

I really want to punch him!

"Of course, if you still insist on a samurai duel, I won't fight back. But afterward, I'll upload everything online. By the way, I'm a minor."

"Assaulting a minor? On top of sexual harassment? You might be looking at another charge."

The old man gritted his teeth. 

He was at his breaking point but forced himself to endure. He pulled out his wallet and asked grimly, "How much do you want?"

He didn't want to escalate things any further. He would just take the loss and move on.

"Up to you."

Takashi had never done this before. He had no idea how much was appropriate.

The old man took out four 10,000-yen bills and looked at Takashi's face, trying to read his reaction.

But he saw nothing.

Because Takashi was wearing a mask.

All he could see were those calm, unreadable eyes.

After hesitating for a moment, the old man gritted his teeth and pulled out three more bills. "Delete the video."

Takashi didn't say anything. He didn't even take the money.

The old man pulled out two more bills. "This is my final offer."

"Thank you, kind sir."

Takashi snatched the money and stuffed it into his pocket. Then, turning to Akari, he grinned.

"Baby, let's go. My treat for a midnight snack."

Akari hadn't said a word from start to finish. She obediently followed him.

"Wait, delete the recording."

The old man grabbed Takashi's shoulder as he was leaving.

"Recording? What recording? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Takashi turned around, blinking his clear, innocent eyes.

"You... you tricked me!"

The old man was livid.

At this moment, he felt like a clown in a circus.

"You want to hit me?"

Takashi's eyes sparkled with anticipation.

Go ahead. If you make a move, I'll have another reason to milk you dry.

He turned to Watanabe Akari excitedly. "Baby, if he starts, make sure to record it with a beauty filter."

Akari looked at him, both annoyed and amused.

"I..." The old man was furious but had no choice but to let go of Takashi's shoulder.

"Which school are you from?!"

He knew Takashi wouldn't tell him, but he asked anyway.

"Let me introduce myself—Watanabe Toru, Shuchiin Academy. Feel free to look me up anytime."

Takashi was just shy of putting "If you're a man, come to Shuchiin and find me" on his forehead.

".....Really?"

Surprisingly, the old man hesitated, somewhat believing Takashi's nonsense.

"Go check Shuchiin yourself. I've already given you my name."

Takashi gave him a condescending glance before striding away confidently.

His retreating figure was downright dashing.

"Is he really from Shuchiin Academy?"

"No way, he must be lying."

"But what if he isn't? That kid carries himself like someone important..."

The old man was left standing there, lost in thought.

…

After walking a good distance, Watanabe Akari turned back to make sure they weren't being followed. She then giggled and playfully punched Takashi's chest.

"You lie so smoothly!"

Takashi shrugged. "Remember this—when you're out in the world, your identity is what you make it."

"Aren't you afraid he'll come after you?"

"He can try. Not like my name is Watanabe Toru."

Debts have debtors. If Watanabe Toru did something, what did that have to do with Kitahara Takashi?

"You're so bad~"

Akari laughed again.

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "Where are we going next?"

"Each of us has our own homes. It's late, where else do you want to go?"

Takashi casually withdrew his hand from Akari's generous embrace.

She noticed and scrunched her nose slightly, stopping in her tracks. "Do you really hate me that much?"

"Huh?"

Takashi was confused.

He couldn't keep up with her train of thought.

"You'd rather take a detour to escort Marin home than stay in the same train car as me. Isn't that because you hate me?"

Akari's eyes shimmered as she stared at him, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

Takashi felt a little guilty. "No, I just thought Marin wasn't safe going home alone."

"What about me? I'm a girl too! Are you okay with me going home alone?"

"You're in Bunkyō. It has the best public safety."

Takashi's voice lacked conviction.

"What if something happens? What if I run into another creep like earlier?"

"Wouldn't you call the police?"

Takashi thought that's what the police were for.

"Oh, so you personally escort Marin, but for me, I should rely on useless cops? Double standards much?"

"Wow, that was a low blow. Be careful, or someone might report you."

"Don't change the subject! Just admit it, Kitahara Takashi—you hate me."

"Hate is too strong. I just don't think we have much to talk about."

"But you do with Marin?"

Takashi nodded honestly. "Yeah."

"You..."

Watanabe Akari was furious.

She shot him a glare and stormed off.

Takashi maintained his usual pace.

Since his legs were longer, one of his strides nearly matched two of hers, so they didn't end up too far apart.

When they reached the subway station, Akari suddenly stopped, turned around, and shouted:

"Can you stop following me? You've been tailing me this whole way!"

The station was crowded.

Hearing her, people turned to look at Takashi with suspicion.

Some women even took a step away from him.

"I should've never helped her."

Takashi's face darkened.

He knew Watanabe Akari was getting back at him.

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Check out the other translations too: [Mash-Up: Anything For Money]

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