Loser System and Berserker Me

【I am System 12345.】

【Today is the first day of my internship.】

A speck of light whizzed across space, leaving a trail of radiance in its wake.

【Soon, I will rise through the ranks and climb to the top of the system ladder. I shall become a Transmigration System ruling over the God Realm and marry the World’s Consciousness. I shall reach the peak of Systemhood!】

【Gives me tingles just to think about it!】

It felt tears welling in its eyes when its mentor earnestly told it never to tell others it was its disciple. It never thought that its mentor had such a high opinion of it. It must have been like Sun Wukong to Tripitaka.

Don’t worry, mentor. I won’t let you down! System 12345 swore.

【Let me take a look… Yup, that young man lying inside that gaming capsule, I choose you!】

【Host, here I come!】

【Eh? Eh?! EHHHHHHH?! What’s with all these windows popping up?!】

System 12345 squealed sharply like a marmot.

…

A garden covered in holes had been lit ablaze, with thick puffs of black smoke rising into the sky. Blood and corpses littered the ground. Most nearby houses were either burned into cinders or smashed into pieces.

A tragic fight had just occurred here.

“Weak Romains. Your god is as weak and useless as the lot of you!”

Amidst this burning ruins, the leader of a knight order sneered. He turned to the knights behind him and shouted, “Warriors protected by the true god, what are you waiting for?”

Deafening cheers sounded, as the knights charged in to join this feast of savagery.

Some knights chopped whoever appeared in their line of sight.

Some knights looted everything they found, even if it was a mere needle or rag.

Some knights captured the chickens and ducks while herding the cows away. Any farmer who dared to stop them would be slain by their swords.

After they had massacred and plundered to their fill, the knights finally rounded up the survivors and prepared to leave with their loot. They chatted with light-hearted tones, showing no remorse for the atrocities they had just committed.

“Hm?” Shu Yichao scanned his surroundings.

He was stuck in one of the straw cages like a captured beast.

A few other people were captured with him, but their treatment was much less favorable. Strung together by a dark red rope, they were forced to keep pace with the knights while running barefoot. The slightest dullness in their movements would invite severe whipping from the knights escorting them.

Shu Yichao, who had just logged onto the game, sniffed the air and murmured, “Is this really a mod? This is amazing! I didn’t think producing such outstanding visual effects in an old game like Beacons of the Otherworld was possible!”

Shu Yichao tried moving his wrists—it was tightly bound.

“Let’s get to the climax. When does the slaughter begin?”

He tried tapping at the sky. “Can’t we skip this cutscene?”

“Bam!” The prisoner carriage suddenly stopped.

An extravagant sedan made of scented wood with golden bits and purple silk suddenly appeared before the knight platoon. A thin cloth veiled the identity of the passenger riding the sedan.

Thirty slaves dressed in rags toiled the heavy sedan with bent backs. Should they collapse, there were more ‘expendables’ trailing behind the sedan, ready to take their place.

“Pasha Dilber!”

The sight of the sedan scared the knights out of their wits. They hurriedly alighted from their steeds and kneeled by the roadside.

Even the platoon leader trembled in fear.

Shit, we were discovered! The order we received from Pasha Dilber was to leave no survivors.

If we see an ant nest, we ought to drown it with water. If we see a lizard, we ought to hack it horizontally so that it can’t regrow. If we see a dog, we ought to boil it alive… But we spared a few people to sell as slaves.

The platoon leader wanted to explain himself and beg for mercy, but the emotionless eyes behind the veil left him with a tied tongue. He found himself incapable of saying a word.

Seconds felt as long as an epoch.

The platoon leader could already imagine his knight order being completely wiped out.

“Beauty, what’s your name?” a voice echoed from the sedan.

Hm?

The platoon leader glanced backward.

While everyone was shivering in fear, there was a hostage in the prisoner carriage who was looking around with large, curious eyes, making him quite the eyesore.

Was there such a person among the hostages? The platoon leader was baffled.

But that appearance of his though… He had always harbored derision for the Romains’ promiscuous culture that transcended even gender, but now that he was looking at that man… Well, I can understand where they are coming from.

“Hm?”

The veil parted, revealing a dark-skinned woman with white hair lying lazily on the sedan as her attendant fed her chilled grapes.

“Beauty, answer my question.”

“…”

Shu Yichao continued looking around in boredom.

The dark-skinned woman’s face turned cold.

“Ah…”

The kneeling platoon leader racked his brain. He had no idea when he took this hostage, but that wasn’t important now. The important thing was that this might be his only chance to survive this crisis.

“Pasha,” the platoon leader said fawningly, “this is a treasure we found from the Romains. I brought him along because I thought you might fancy him.”

“Hmph.” The dark-skinned beauty harrumphed, neither confirming nor denying the matter.

The platoon leader trembled in excitement. She didn’t deny it—that means she must be interested in him!

【Whew, I have finally settled it.】

【Why do errors keep cropping up with this lousy program?】

【Let me summarize, my host. I am the Femme Fatale Conquer System.】

【I am here to help you conquer femme fatales in the otherworld.】

【Traveling to different games, novels, and worlds, we shall make proud queens blush in embarrassment before you, valiant warriors lay down their lives for you, and cold witches toss around their beds thinking about you.】

【What do you think? Moved?】

【A little sneak peak. There’ll also be ‘mature’ scenes too… Hehehe】

【Okay, let’s get straight to the point. The ultimate goal of this world is Empress Momoana, a being who boasts ultimate intelligence and beauty.】

【She inherited the throne at fourteen, and through her wise rule, she wiped out the thousand-year-old corrupted empire and built a resounding reputation for herself. She eventually founded her own dynasty.】

【Making her fall in love with you at first sight is impossible for us now, but we can start small. Let me first look up the storyline… Shit! Why did the screen go black again?!】

【Wrong genre—What’s wrong about the genre?!】

【I followed the instruction manual step by step! Why are the errors only cropping up at the end? Aren’t you just prejudiced against me?!】

After struggling a little, System 12345 was forced to compromise.

【Damn it, do we have to go into this blind? Host, let me first send the information to you. You figure things out by yourself. I’ll settle things on my end very soon; I promise!】

Ding!

“The selections finally appeared.” Shu Yichao looked at the screen and nodded. “I thought that the game lagged. Ehh? Why are there so many random characters? Is there something wrong with the localization? Thank god I played the main game, or else I’d have to go at it blindly. What’s with that static noise I just heard though… Ah, my life bar appeared!”

Shu Yichao’s eyes lit up.

The knights marched forward and opened Shu Yichao’s cage, intending to drag him out.

“Open it!”

I don’t know who I am or where I am, but I will be going on a massacre now!

As soon as the cage opened, Shu Yichao pounced forth like a leopard. The knight who opened the cage only heard a rustle, followed by a stabbing pain in his throat, before he collapsed to the ground with a gurgling noise.

“Ah?”

The other knights were stumped. Why would the tame little lamb who had been sitting obediently in the cage all this while suddenly morph into a ferocious tiger?

Meanwhile, Shu Yichao stole the knight’s sword and proceeded to chop down the other knights.

“Holy shit! These tremors! These sounds! This feedback!” Shu Yichao swung his sword with gleaming eyes. “I have picked up a treasure!”

“Bastard. Capture him!”

It was only after Shu Yichao slayed three men that the remaining knights snapped out of the daze. Following the platoon leader’s roar, swords, spears, and arrows rushed at Shu Yichao.

To serve as a role model, the platoon leader even charged at the forefront.

But a nightmare descended on them.

Spearmen had their spears knocked back, causing them to lurch backward. Before they could regain their balance, blood and excruciating pain had already burst forth from their chest.

Sword wielders suffered a kick to their wrist, the immense force crushing their fragile joints. A flash of cold light swiftly followed to puncture their throats.

Shieldbearers looked like pathetic tortoises before an elephant’s foot. With a loud bam, they vanished into oblivion.

Shu Yichao was like a mad bull charging into the soldiers, raising a bloodstorm.

“Exhilarating! I’ve never had so much fun before!” He laughed like a madman.

By the time he stopped, the earth was already covered in blood. No one dared to approach him. All knights fearfully retreated twenty meters away with their weapons.

“Who else?” Shu Yichao raised his sword and bellowed, his dashing face warped like a demon. “Who else wants to come at me?!”

—

Starve’s Historical Trivia:

Pasha is a very high aristocratic title in the Ottoman Empire that is only bestowed to high ranking officials (think prime minister, generals, admirals, the highest clergymen etc.)