Is That My Alter Ego

Chapter 139 – The Northern Grand Duchess’s Steward

Time flowed on, and years passed. The child I once was had grown into adulthood, yet our circumstances remained unchanged.

The daily training had become so easy that I could perform it with my eyes closed. In the darkness, which felt no different from closing my eyes, I could strike with precision at the human vital points.

And the most crucial point was that after countless days of honing my dark magic, I had transcended a certain threshold.

At some moment, I began to see the dark magic of everyone, myself included, with startling clarity. The quantity of their dark power, the trajectory of their sorcery, and even the weaknesses of their magic became visible to me.

I had already surpassed the realm of the sorcerers who bound us. Even now, should I choose, I could break the constraints that limited my actions and deal with them.

…But I must not. I would wait for the perfect moment. They still had not grasped my true level. It was partly due to my deliberate concealment of my strength, but their abilities were lower than I had anticipated.

Waiting was not difficult. I had done it countless times over the past few years, enduring and enduring again.

As they wished, I had become a puppet. I feigned ignorance, obeying commands as if I could not even think, producing results that satisfied them.

And finally. The day of reckoning had arrived. The dark sorcerers, in a flurry of urgency, hurried off to some unknown destination.

—

I have heard that… they say a wretched vessel for the damned sorcerer has been found. In any case, it was said that there are not many dark sorcerers left in this building, whose location remains unknown.

Slowly, and without anyone noticing, I draw forth the dark magic. I create a pile imbued with the same dark power I had once shown them.

Having envisioned and simulated this for years, it was not difficult at all. It took less than five minutes to drape the brainwashing and behavioral constraints over the pile.

“········”

Freedom. My vision clears, and I can move my body as I wish. What a long-awaited sense of liberation this is, after so many years.

It feels as if tears are welling up, but now is not the time for weeping.

I gaze slowly out from the cage where I have been trapped. There is but one dark sorcerer wandering the cage room we are confined in. His level… is sufficient for me to handle.

As the sorcerer approaches, I feign ignorance and conceal the pile with my body. And now, as he passes right in front of me.

I conjure a Dark Sphere using dark magic. Having pulled this technique countless times before, bending it like a key is easier than swallowing a mouthful of porridge.

Silently, I extend my hand outside the bars, locking it in place and turning it. The cage opens with an emptiness that is almost laughable, and the door of the prison that bound me swings wide.

“Haah… what a damn hassle. Why do I have to deal with these idiots…?”

Suppressing my footsteps, I exhale a sigh of complaint as I creep up behind the dark sorcerer. He seems utterly oblivious, even as I approach him closely.

My heart races like mad. I can feel sweat trickling from my hand, tightly gripping the Dark Sphere. How many years have I waited for this moment?

Memories of the past flood back. Days of relentless torture, experiments, and being thrown into a hellish life against my will.

Then, curiously, the pounding of my heart begins to subside, and my head feels as if it is cooling. My hands no longer tremble.

“…die.”

Thud-!

In the pitch-black darkness. I pierce the heart of the blade of rage, honed and sharpened in the shadows for years.

He could never have imagined. That the blade they had forged to use as a weapon would turn against them.

The dark sorcerer falls to the ground without a sound. It is an unbelievably exhilarating and refreshing feeling, yet it is not over.

I move forward slowly, with the steps I had to learn and force myself to master. Gripping the cold blade in my hand, with a heart even colder than the steel.

*

“Khak, khuhuk…”

“I wanted to kill you with my own hands.”

“How…?”

“…Ha. Is it painful? Compared to the suffering and sorrow we… you inflicted, it is not even a thousandth of it.”

Having easily dealt with countless dark sorcerers, I finally confront the one who had experimented on us. I stab him in every vital point until he breathes his last.

The revenge is neatly concluded. I am a bit out of breath, but I have sustained no injuries.

…It is over now. It is all… finally over.

Only now do I feel the weight of it. Relief washes over me at the thought of escaping this space, filled with countless deaths and suffering.

It felt like an insurmountable wall, the dark sorcerers lying dead on the ground, their bodies forming a river of blood, and I couldn’t help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction.

“…Let’s go.”

With all those who had suffered just like me, we would leave together.

I reached the room filled with iron bars, the very cage from which I had escaped, and as I smiled and peered through the bars—

“…Ah.”

I could do nothing but sink to the floor.

Inside the cage. My comrades, who had shared years of hardship with me… not a single one had survived.

And it wasn’t even that they had been killed. After the dark sorcerer conducting the experiments had died, all the brainwashing and dark magic that bound them had been lifted. They had taken their own lives.

Days spent living like puppets. The tortures, the brainwashing, the agony and despair from the experiments surged back all at once, and in that moment of clarity, they could not endure any longer.

…Why? Now that it’s all over…

The chains that bound us, the constraints, all had vanished.

I stumbled out of the room, wandering slowly through the dilapidated building. It felt as if no sound reached my ears, and my heart was heavy.

…I’ve become alone. Now… what am I to hope for, to yearn for in this life?

I looked at the dark spear in my hand. Blood caked on its sharp blade, a grotesque beauty.

…Perhaps it would be easier for me too. Having stabbed, slashed, and struck countless times, I wouldn’t struggle to end my own life. They had… felt the same.

Let’s die. There is nothing left for me…

With that thought, I aimed the dark spear at my heart.

—Uwaaah!!!

—Please… save me…!

—Hwaaang…

I froze—

Until the sound of children crying reached me from somewhere far away.

It can’t be… In this space, those who had been brainwashed couldn’t possibly scream at will…

…Wait. If they were children who had only recently been captured before the brainwashing…

As that thought struck me, I threw the dark spear aside and ran toward the source of the sound.

Among the tightly shut doors, a small gap revealed the cries of children. Judging by the dark sorcerer collapsed right in front, it seemed he had met his end without even managing to lock the door.

…Please. Don’t let this be a figment of my imagination.

With hands trembling even more than when I had committed murder, I slowly opened the door. The creaking of old hinges echoed as the door swung open.

“Hik…”

“Pl-please save us…”

“Ugh… I don’t want to die…”

It was not an echo. The children, huddled together, were softly sobbing at the sight of me entering the room.

Thank goodness. Truly… thank goodness. That the children, like me, like us… are not enduring such horrific times. That I could find them before it was too late…

“Hey, kids. No, everyone… It’s okay. I’ve come to save you…”

“Sniff, sob… Is it really true?”

“Yes. I swear… no matter what happens, I will not harm you.”

I would stake everything on it. If necessary, even my life… I want to protect these children above all else.

I smash the door of the cage where the children are trapped, pulling them out one by one. At first, the children were wary, but slowly they began to open their hearts.

“Thank you for saving us, big brother…”

“What’s your name?”

“…Are you talking to me?”

As I held onto the children’s hands and slowly stepped outside the building, I froze at one child’s question.

Who am I… What was my name?

I am Subject Number 8. My childhood memories are faint, hardly retrievable.

– Venice. Just remember that Mom and Dad love you.

And then, a scene that had never surfaced before struck me like a thunderclap. This voice… it felt unfamiliar yet achingly familiar, as if it could bring tears to my eyes.

But… I could not cry. I had children to protect, and before them, I must always be the strong older brother.

“…Venice. My name is… Venice.”

“Thank you, Venice oppa!”

“Venice hyung!”

Despite having endured the horrific experience of losing my parents right before my eyes, the children only showed me bright, radiant smiles.

I… made a vow. I would do everything to protect this brilliant smile.

Slowly, very slowly… the children and I stepped out of the dilapidated building. I glanced back for a moment.

So small and shabby… this was the space where I, where we had been trapped for years.

No more lingering attachments remain. I turn back, holding the children’s hands, and we walk slowly into the blizzard swirling around us.

By a stroke of luck, we arrived at the abandoned orphanage in the village. We… could start a new life there.

And as my gaze drifted further away, I looked down at my own smiling face, laughing alongside the children.

“…It must have been hard to watch, right? It wasn’t a memory I wanted to show anyone.”

“…”

A single tear slipped down my cheek without my realizing it. To think I had lived such a terrible and painful life.

And guilt rises within me. This life of yours, so fierce and having crossed the line of death to survive—have I not stolen it away?

Did I not act the same as those dark sorcerers who took your life?

“…To think you would ponder such things. I am touched, truly.”

Swish—

“But there is no need for that. You have allowed me to dream of the life I have longed for.”

As he wipes away my flowing tears, he offers a smile. When I gaze up at him in a daze, he takes my hand and speaks.

“I would have acted the same. And the children will live happily, well. The dreadful dark sorcerers… they are all captured now.”

“But, but…”

“Enough! And… I had the chance to serve a lady far beyond my humble life. That alone was enough for me.”

How can one be so pure, so good? It feels as if his goodness is chipping away at me.

“There’s no need for that.”

You are you, and I am you.

“If I am good… then you must be good as well. So do not carry such guilt. I am, and we are not disappearing!”

Now, he looks down at me not with the deep, dark expression from moments ago, but with the same sly smile he always wears.

“Thank you. And… I look forward to what lies ahead.”

As I grasp the handshake he offers, at last, all the memories and emotions he held begin to stack neatly within me.

And once again, we find ourselves returning to that initial dark space.

“You’ve had quite the… difficult life, haven’t you?”

“Well, yes. It seems we are all fated to live hard lives.”

“…Perhaps so.”

“Come now! Anyway, let’s quickly bring out the next one!”

“Hmm… Yes. Let’s finish this swiftly.”

As the ‘I’s conversed, one last ‘I’ began to step forward.