I'm reborn as Harry Potter

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- So I take it you're going to sneak into the Department of Mysteries and sit there all night waiting for the snake of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named just because you think it might be there? - Fleur puts too much scepticism into that question. - I think you should see a doctor after all, it seems Azkaban hasn't done you any favours.

- I'd love to, but at Mungo's they'd put me on trial, and a psychologist in the normal world would call an ambulance after the first sentence," I dropped by the house after my meeting with Malfoy to explain the situation to Fleur. I didn't want her to worry about me again.

- Why is that for experiments?

- My soul back in my body, isn't that a miracle? They'd have to tear me apart to find out how it happened.

- Well, actually, lately I've read a lot on this subject and I can say that such cases have happened before. However, usually after that a person either became insane or lived no longer than a month, most often it was interconnected.... And there's no normal explanation for it... - She frowned and looked carefully into my eyes.

- Don't worry, if I go crazy, you'll be the first to know.

- You're a comforting man, Harry. I'm more worried about the second option, though.

- You're saying there's no normal explanation? What about not so normal, there's got to be something, right? - I may not have to look for it myself, the Frenchwoman must have gone through every possible source by now.

- Well, mostly the books I've read say that after a dementor's kiss, there are some crumbs of soul left in the body, and eventually they're restored, but when only part of the soul is in the body, the person becomes insane - Riddle's example is proof of that - and they're usually killed. I think it would take a few years to recover enough, if there was anything left at all," Fleur looked like she had been thinking about this for a long time.

Well, I've got a whole new one here at once, so I'm not in danger of madness. I wonder why Tom's soul didn't regenerate. Probably has something to do with the fact that he tore it off voluntarily. I don't want to get into the finer points of black magic right now, the main thing is that the explanation Fleur gave me is very much apt. I'm a boy who survived, so I should have a higher recovery rate than everyone else.

- You know, it's probably because I've had a chunk of my soul sucked out of me along with a chunk of someone else's, so there's enough left in me to replenish quickly," Fleur nodded thoughtfully. - So what kind of carpet did you want in the living room? - I'm trying to distract her from this sensitive subject, because it won't bring us anything but sadness.

The Frenchwoman smiles gratefully and starts to show me different variants of carpets in a specially ordered catalogue, at the same time explaining the advantages of certain types. I know that the one she chooses will be the best anyway, and I rely on her completely in the matter of home furnishing. 

An hour later, I'm standing at the phone box that serves as the entrance to the Ministry. I had to use Dobby's universal portal again, since Harry's first visit here had understandably failed. And during that farce, which everyone called a trial, I was immediately moved to a cell in the Aurorat.

In general, instantaneous relocation is, so far, the coolest thing I've encountered in the magical world. I don't understand how scroungers like Nazemnicus and his kind can beggar with such a skill? Why not move to some vault in the regular world, gain pounds from there, and exchange them at Gringotts? I don't think huge, secure vaults are going to save you from an apparition. If I'm poor, I'll look into it more closely. Right now, I'm worried about getting to the Mystery Department.

Fleur drew me a rough plan of the Ministry, so I wouldn't have to poke my head in every door, and she didn't even ask me to take her with me. She probably realised the idiocy of my idea, but my intuition guides me, and I trust it.

I didn't see any guards checking my wands, so I calmly got to the lifts and pressed the button. It's late in the evening and there's hardly anyone in the Ministry, but just in case, I put on my invisibility cloak, just in case there's a guard right outside the lift.

When I arrive at the desired floor, the lift silently swings open and a dimly lit, completely empty corridor appears before me. I hadn't had any dreams about this place, and Fleur hadn't been here, so I'd have to go at random. Not much choice, though. For some reason I thought there was still a courtroom around here somewhere. I must be confused, because when I walk forward, I find only one door.

The loud creaking sounds deafening in this pressurised silence. There is no silent emergence, however, no one behind the door. Just a circular room and several doors around the perimeter. As soon as the door through which I had entered closed, the room began to spin, and though I knew that something like this was going to happen, I was still unprepared for it. Well, my intuition helps me a lot in global things, let's see how it works in private cases.

The first room I looked into turned out to be a time room. I didn't look around and just borrowed one Flywheel for personal use. I didn't know why I needed it, but it would come in handy. The Ministry is a strange place to work - it means that anyone can come, take a Time Flywheel and go home. Well, that's good for me.

The fact that I'm a very limited mage is revealed as soon as I realise that I don't know the spell that will put an X on the door. I don't have a pencil, of course, so I try to transfigure the doorknob into something different from the others. After a few tries, I manage to turn the iron handle into a wooden one. Great, but I know five different cutting curses.

On the second try, I get where I need to go. The hall is really huge, with shelves several metres high, filled with balls of various sizes. Somewhere in the distance I hear voices, so I cast a spell that muffles my footsteps and walk towards them.

The guards are a little better organised this time, with Sirius Black, Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Broustver sitting next to the right shelf. They are talking loudly amongst themselves, discussing where Rita Skeeter got her Harry Potter memories from. Amongst the pile of speculation I heard while sneaking around, the idea that Potter himself gave them to her never came up. Finally finding the balloon with my name on it, I tucked it neatly into my pocket and stepped back a little, taking a waiting stance. I couldn't figure out why there were three of them. In the event of a raiding party of devourers, I don't think the Order would be able to hold out much longer, and given that this is a thoroughfare, not a strategic site, Riddle might be able to enter from the main entrance. If all three of them are killed, I won't be upset. My job is to see that the snake is destroyed.

Two hours later, I already feel like the loud conversation of the three of them can be heard even in the atrium. It feels like a picnic in the woods, not an ambush, but a campfire with a guitar. A thin whistle echoes through the room, and the three mages jump up sharply, taking a defensive stance. It seems that some sort of signalling spell had been triggered at the entrance to the hall. I wonder how they didn't see me. Did the cloak hide me, or were the charms tuned to the Eaters' markings? Of course, I don't care, as long as I got through. There were six people in black robes walking down the passage towards us, with a snake of impressive size slithering between them. What an interesting escort. The Lord is probably watching through the snake right now. I could think of no other explanation for such strange company.

The devourers had taken no care to conceal their identities, and I didn't recognise anyone familiar among their faces - so they weren't members of the inner circle. I could even say that the three members of the Order had an advantage in the fight, if it weren't for the snake. I decided to be a bystander for now and see where this was going.

Without wasting time talking, Black immediately unleashes disarming and binding spells into the crowd of opponents-although they didn't even think to disperse-and takes one of them out of the game.

It turns out that the Eaters weren't even aware that anyone was here, and only now saw the resistance. To their credit, they thought quickly, and the eight wizards fought in a small area. Only the snake did not get involved and purposefully crawled in my direction, it seems to have smelled it. Well, the invisibility cloak is not omnipotent either.

At that moment, I finally realised I was an idiot. No, I'd known that before, of course, but now it just felt so special. How am I supposed to kill her? I haven't learnt how to throw Avada and hellfire, and I don't know if the former will help, I don't have Basilisk venom with me, and I don't have a sword impregnated with it. And if I killed her with some sort of explosive spell, it wasn't certain that the Horcrux would be destroyed. "Think, Potter, there's not much time." Nagaina was already within throwing distance, but she wasn't in a hurry to attack, and I was slowly backing away from Kingsley, who had already knocked out one attacker and was taking on the other. Arthur and his opponent weren't far away either, but Sirius and the two Eaters had already moved a fair distance away, and the only thing visible was the flashes, mostly green.

Hiding from the snake, I watched the Eater, who, apart from the killing curse, didn't use much at all. He didn't seem to need to make any special hand movements, so it was all about desire. Well, I've got plenty of that. I approach Nagaina from behind and point my wand at her.

- Avada Kedavra! - I try to say it as quietly as possible, hoping it won't affect the result, and a thin green ray hits the snake in the head. I ponder for a few seconds whether to be happy that the killing curse worked the first time, or sad for the same reason, and I notice the unnatural silence around me. I turn my head and see five dumbfounded faces staring at my hand floating in the air.

Kingsley is the first to come to his senses, logically assuming that since I killed the snake, we're not enemies. The others also quickly realise which side the invisible man is on and continue to fight each other. By then, one of Sirius's opponents and Arthur Weasley had joined those lying on the floor, apparently destined to be in the hospital anyway. As soon as I was distracted, I turned my full attention to Nagaina's corpse. She's not withered, no black smoke coming out of her, so the Horcrux is still intact. That's not good. Now she could wake up at any moment, and I can't imagine how the part of Tom in the snake's body would behave. Or maybe now, in some room like King's Cross Station, a wise serpent is explaining to his pupil that she was the bearer of the Horcrux and all is well now? You'd be a fool to expect that. On the fifth attempt I manage to turn the coin that was in my pocket into a jar, and I immediately cast a few charms on it, trying to make it unbreakable, then shrink the snake and place it inside. I hope that's enough for now, now we have to get out of here before the Lord comes to see what happened to his favourite.

The rumbling from across the hall from the door made it clear that I was too late. Kingsley, Sirius, and the remaining Eater stopped frustratedly-it seemed they'd gotten so into the swing of things that they resented being interrupted. I was out of sight, so I slowly made my way to the exit, watching to see which side was coming to the rescue. It was a stupid question, really, considering that the overconfident Orderers hadn't even called for help, and it was only when Kingsley saw a dozen Eaters scattering around the perimeter of the hall that he thought to send a Patronus.

It was going to get hot in here. The Eaters were in no hurry to attack, taking the two mages in a ring; they didn't seem to have much idea what they were doing or why they were here. There are three of the Lord's minions at the door, so I'm locked in here for now, which means I can watch the show. The show didn't work, though. As soon as Brusstver and Black realised the gravity of the situation, they attacked their nearest opponents and rushed for the exit.

The procession, consisting of ten devourers, who couldn't work together at all and were more likely to get in each other's way, and a fairly well-coordinated tandem of the light side, reached the round room. Invisible me was wandering away from it all, humbly waiting for a free passage outside. I wondered if anyone would remember the half-dead Weasley left lying in the middle of the hall.

As I enter this peculiar antechamber, I manage to notice that the entire crowd of fighting men has chosen a door with a wooden handle. It's a good thing at least one Flywheel was saved. I think the whole room is going to be destroyed again. Fortunately, I've memorised how many doors there were between the entrance to the Time Room and the exit to the corridor, so I guess right the first time. The corridor is still just as empty. I even feel a little sorry for Black and Brustwind- by the time the senile Order gathers, Riddle will have taken over the Ministry.

While I wait for the lift, I try to hear any sounds of battle, but the silence makes it hard to tell whether the soundproofing is excellent or whether there's no battle at all. The lift arrives not empty. I step aside to let Moody and Lupin get on, but the girl who came with them can't get off in a straight line - she stumbles on a flat spot and flies straight at me. I realise with horror that everything I've read about Nymphadora Tonks is true.

- Oh, I'm sorry! - She apologises on automatic, not even realising that there's no one in front of her, though my robes had slipped off after the fall, and now there were two feet on the floor. Luckily, Mad-Eye had already run into the room with the werewolf, paying no attention to the absent girl. Tonks is about to run after them and only then realises that she has crashed into the man hiding under the invisibility cloak. She's a good Auror, after all; her wand is pointed at where my head should be faster than I can say anything.

- Tonks, wait," I rise slowly and pull off my robe. We've never met before, the scar is hidden under my hair, so she shouldn't recognise me. Too bad she can show that memory to Dumbledore. - I'm not a devourer," I roll up my sleeve defiantly, showing the lack of any tattoos on my forearm.

- Then what are you doing here and how do you know me? - If she was reassured by my actions, it wasn't much. A worthy apprentice to Moody.

- I came here for this," I reach into my back pocket, grabbing her hand at the same time and pulling it aside, pointing my wand at her. - Obliviate.

While the puzzled girl comes to her senses, I hop into the lift. At the last moment I notice a small piece of paper on the spot where I fell and call it to myself. On the way up, I read, "Harry Potter. Came to guard the snake." Whew, good thing I picked it up in time. The fucking box wouldn't let me in until I told it my name and purpose of arrival - I had to answer it. I hope this isn't being recorded anywhere else.

The atrium was still as quiet and empty. It was strange that the Lord hadn't come here in person yet; maybe he'd had some kind of magical setback from the snake incident, I don't know. I have the Horcrux, as well as the prophecy I brought with me, and the result of the battle can be found in the newspapers.

I made my way out the same way I'd come back to the living room and found Fleur asleep in her chair. Not waiting again, poor thing, it was starting to become a tradition. After I showered, I took Veela in my arms and carried her to my room, snuggling with her on the bed. I remembered the snake's corpse, which could come back to life at any moment, but I was too lazy to go check, so I hoped the spell on the jar was strong. Pulling Fleur tighter against me, I had time to see a contented smile on her face before falling into slumber.