I’m Not That Obsessive

Chapter 69

A small child’s hand repeatedly turned the locked doorknob. The doorknob was higher than the child’s head, making it difficult to reach even with raised arms.

The struggling child panted and touched their flat stomach. They hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch. At this rate, they might miss dinner too, but the closed door remained firm.

The child tried turning the doorknob again with renewed strength. Sometimes, due to its worn state, it would open if lucky. But today wasn’t a lucky day, and the door remained stubbornly shut.

Bang.

Startled by the sound of the front door opening and closing, the child flinched. They quickly ran to a corner and hid, holding their breath.

Father’s return meant it was past 6 PM. The child had been starving all this time.

Click.

As the room door opened, the child pretended to sleep, face buried between their knees.

“Come out.”

The child wanted to pretend not to hear father’s words, but they were too hungry. Besides, the child had no choice in judging their own actions.

The child hesitantly came out to the living room and sat at the dining table, head bowed low and silent. Empty bottles were scattered throughout the house.

The child was scared.

Of father’s mouth.

Of the words father would say.

“Mitchell.”

“……”

“Eat.”

Father placed some food he had bought in front of the child. It was scrambled eggs and mashed potatoes. The child’s mouth watered, but they couldn’t bring themselves to move. Experience told them father’s words weren’t finished yet.

“I said eat quickly.”

The child was confused. Father had never easily provided food before, so why suddenly today?

After pondering with their small mind, hunger won out and they took a spoonful. Were eggs always this sweet? The child happily took another spoonful.

The child’s small happiness ended right there.

“From now on, for every spoonful you eat, you’ll be locked in there for a day. Two spoonfuls, two days. Three spoonfuls, three days.”

Father pointed to the room. The same room the child had just been locked in. That place with nothing but an attached bathroom, devoid of proper furniture. To the child, it was pure, empty terror.

Yet, they couldn’t put down the spoon. Once they started eating, they felt even hungrier than before.

Eating this means another day locked in there.

But I’m so hungry…

In the end, the child put the spoon in their mouth. One spoonful equals one day.

Not wanting to waste the food in their mouth, the child looked up at father without chewing. Father wore the kindest expression as he nodded towards the room.

The child, with a face of complete resignation, got down from the chair and locked themselves in the room. As they heard the click of the lock, they covered their ears and slowly savored the sweet food in their mouth. The tears flowing freely didn’t matter at all.

The child’s mother had abandoned them and left. She had fallen for another man and discarded her husband and son.

Father hated the child who resembled his wife so much. He said tormenting the child felt like tormenting his wife, which temporarily relieved his stress. As his anger arrows pointed at the child, both father and child were slowly falling apart.

Father didn’t realize he was in an abnormal state, and the child thought this was how life was supposed to be. They accepted the pain as if it were natural.

One day, the child woke up thirsty and went to the bathroom sink. Even drinking water was a struggle.

The sink was too high and big for the child to put their face under the faucet. They had to cup water in their hands to barely wet their throat.

That day, their stomach strangely ached all day. It wasn’t hunger. The TV sound meant father was in the living room, but the child couldn’t bring themselves to call out. Father always looked at the child with sad eyes. Sometimes angry eyes, sometimes dismissive eyes.

The sad eyes were the worst to see. The child tried their best to avoid father.

Even this child couldn’t endure the sudden stomach pain. Rolling on the floor in agony, they made a loud noise, and eventually, father opened the door.

“My stomach hurts.”

It seemed like a stomachache despite not having eaten anything. The child, feeling miserable, sad, and overwhelmed, cried loudly.

Father carried the child to the living room. He sat where he had been before, laying the child’s head on his lap. The child’s feet touched the scattered beer bottles.

“Put this on and it won’t hurt.”

The child raised their head at father’s indifferent tone. In his hand was a band-aid.

Father put the band-aid on the child’s stomach and then placed his hand on the back of the child’s neck. Despite the stomach pain, he rubbed and massaged the neck.

He was too focused on the TV. Father paid no attention to the child, concentrating solely on the movie.

Strangely, the child stopped having stomach pains.

Could a mere band-aid have helped with the stomachache?

Was it the warmth of father’s hand on their neck?

The child never forgot that day.

Although they suffered from hunger daily due to irregular meals.

Although they longed for people and dreaded the lonely space, locked in the room all day.

Still, they realized that father actually loved them, that they weren’t a hated child.

“Father…”

“……”

“Will you always stay by my side?”

Father, absorbed in the TV, didn’t answer. The movie was just reaching its climax.

The child suddenly became curious about the actors on the TV that father was watching. What kind of people were they to monopolize father’s attention?

If I become like that, will I get attention? Then, will I not have to be alone?

The child’s pathological deficiency manifested around that time.

It was right after even father had abandoned the child.

***

“You just like me?”

I smiled at Mitchell’s words. I had said I liked that Mitchell was a person hungry for deficiency, but Mitchell said he just liked me.

How does he speak so beautifully?

As I smiled and made eye contact, Mitchell, who had been expressionless, clicked his tongue and smiled back. Though his face seemed a bit dejected, I could feel his desire for me in the way he caressed my neck.

That’s right. You should always want me.

Satisfied, I finished adjusting my clothes and turned my attention to the food Mitchell had brought.

“I don’t want to eat with that guy.”

Mentioning Yoon Inbeom who was waiting outside, Mitchell immediately went out.

“Huh? Mitchell! What are you going to say?”

“I’ll handle it.”

The hospital room door closed. Given Mitchell’s usual personality, I didn’t think he’d say anything nice. Still, I thought he wouldn’t cause a scene in the hospital corridor. Mitchell came back shortly after.

“Did he leave?”

“Yeah, I sent him away.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him you suddenly fell asleep.”

“…Am I Sleeping Beauty or something? How could I suddenly fall asleep? Did he believe that?”

“Of course not.”

“So you just forced him to leave?”

Instead of answering, Mitchell picked up his completely shattered phone. Perhaps because the hospital floor was hard tile, the screen and sides were completely destroyed.

“It won’t even turn on.”

After trying to press it a few times, Mitchell tossed the phone onto the bed and raised the table attached to the bed. He took out the food he bought and set it up, then settled next to me.

“Mitchell, I’ve been singing all day wanting to eat this food, how did you know to buy it?”

Impressed that he remembered the food we ate at the Korean restaurant last time, I patted Mitchell’s cheek. His expression crumpled at my childish touch.

I quickly moved my hand to his shoulder. I massaged his nape, just as he often did to me. It was the first time I touched him the way he touches me. I wanted to express my gratitude.

“Thank you so much. You must be tired from filming, but you visit every day and bring food. Thanks to you, I think I’ll get better faster.”

Perhaps because of the ticklish praise, Mitchell’s expression looked even worse than before. If he had cursed, I would have understood, but Mitchell was looking down at the floor like someone who had committed a crime.

His face was so serious that I couldn’t say anything, but fortunately, that strange moment ended quickly.

“If you’re that grateful, want to suck me off?”

Mitchell grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. My lips bumped against his cheek. As if nothing had happened, Mitchell was smiling playfully.

“Come on, let’s eat first.”

“Okay. Enjoy the meal and then enjoy sucking me off.”

Right, this is how Mitchell usually is. A guy as light as air. A guy who can’t resist pouncing on men!

Of course, from now on, it should be limited to just me.

“Yes, yes. I’ll do that. First, please give me some food.”

While Mitchell opened the takeout containers and set out the utensils, I sat quietly waiting. Since I was a patient, I wanted to receive some special treatment.

Then I noticed Mitchell’s fingertips moving busily. For some reason, they seemed to be trembling.

Is he hungry? My hands shake too when I’m hungry.

I glanced at Mitchell, and his face looked incredibly happy. It was the first time I’d seen his hands shaking, but I didn’t ask why. There was no shadow on his smiling face.

Well, as long as he’s happy, it’s fine.

Putting my doubts aside, I snuck a peek at Mitchell’s crotch. It was bulging out, but I now know that’s his normal size.

Thinking I’d enjoy Mitchell’s “meal” after finishing my food, I picked up my spoon.

Oh, oh?

I was sipping soup from my spoon, but Mitchell was sucking on my neck.

Judging by how hard he’s sucking, it’ll probably leave a mark…

Ah, whatever. It’s not like anyone’s looking for me now, so who cares about a kiss mark.

Since I didn’t stop him, Mitchell endlessly dug in and devoured my neck. I ignored it and steadily used my spoon.

It was truly delicious. Mitchell seemed to think so too.

After the meal, Mitchell took care of all the cleanup. I sat on the bed, nodding off, barely opening my eyes at the sound of Mitchell moving around. I was full and had taken my medicine, so that’s why. Having Mitchell nearby also put me at ease.

When Mitchell said he was going to the nurses’ station for a moment, I nodded with a yawn. As the door closed, I lifted my heavy eyelids and suddenly noticed something.

“Ah, Mitchell.”

There was a band-aid stuck on top of my cast. Of course, it was Mitchell’s doing. He must have put it on at some point.

I laughed quietly, shaking my shoulders. He probably put it on hoping I’d get better soon.

I don’t know why such a big guy does such cute things.

I pressed down on the slightly lifted edge of the band-aid. Hoping Mitchell’s heart would stick to me just as firmly.