I’m Not a Piece of Shit

Chapter 11



Chapter 11: I’m Just Unlucky

 

The surge of caffeine coursing through my veins jolted me back to “reality.” For me, the game is reality…

Upon logging in, I saw a notification blinking. It was a friend request from Perro. I accepted it, but she was offline.

“She’s playing hooky on a weekday afternoon? Where the heck did she go?”

I checked out the whisper function. There were three ways to use it:

-Think deeply and slowly focus on the message you want to send. There’s even a warning that says, “Be sure to double-check your message before sending, as it may send unintended or inaccurate content.”

-Type using a holographic keyboard. It felt a bit weird, like I was flailing my fingers in the air, but it still seemed better than having my brain scanned.

-Summon a smartphone. It appears as an item, just like a real smartphone. Seeing a smartphone pop up in a fantasy world felt strange, but it was still better than pretending to type in mid-air.

Developers must have gone through all kinds of effort to bring the “whisper” feature from PC games into a virtual reality system. It was honestly a relief that mind-reading wasn’t fully implemented.

I mean, that would be way too “brain-in-a-vat” for my taste. Yeah.

[Dajeong-dosha: Perro, sorry about abruptly logging off to sleep last night. Did you manage to get your weapon?]

As I tapped away, I wondered, “Can I even call this a whisper anymore?” It’s not like I’m whispering into someone’s ear. I’m typing it out. Isn’t it just chat at this point?

[PerroFace: Hiii, Dajeong! No worries, I ate and slept after that 😊😊. Did you sleep well?]

Huh? But she’s offline.

[Dajeong-dosha: Yeah, I slept well 😥 But you’re offline… how are you seeing my whispers?]

[PerroFace: Oh 😊, if you install C&X Talk on your phone, it syncs up! I’m currently at training, so I can’t log in right now, but I’ll be on in the evening. Work hard in the meantime 😎 I’ll catch up to you!]

[Dajeong-dosha: Got it.]

What’s with this message energy?

Anyway, it was time to pay for the crime of indulging in 12 hours of sleep during an open run. The 20-level full-farming, super-luxury Dajeong Express — all aboard!

Rescue a kidnapped person. Defeat “Hase of Chains.” Deliver the quest item. — Uncover intel about the suspicious moves of mountain bandits and horse bandits. — Act as a carrier pigeon between the mercenary headquarters three times. — Act 1, complete.

The start of Act 2 began with a mission to guard an excavation team at the plains, under the orders of the “Black Raven” mercenary captain, Paiz. 

The plot was a classic “tomb raiding rivalry,” with the excavation team facing off against shady villains and their underlings.

If I hadn’t already played through it with an alt character, I might have found it engaging. But I’d seen this story too many times, so my emotions stayed flat.

And so, the Dajeong Express Skip Train barreled ahead to level 24. Dun-dun-dun-dun!

Three new systems were unlocked:

1-Field Boss

2-Guild

3-Faction

These are essential in RPGs, of course. But the “Faction” system felt like it had lost its shine — back in 2012, it might have been exciting.

***

 

Faction System

When it comes to “CN,” one name stands out: TJ. Here, though, TJ has become a jobless nobody, but it feels like his spirit lingers.

Certain areas are designated as faction-war zones. Players gather “exclusive currency” by fighting other players (PK) in these zones, and they can trade it for rewards.

Factions in the BloSe universe are presented as religious orders. There’s the Order of the Sun, which pursues righteousness, and the Order of the Moonlight, which pursues strength.

I picked the Order of the Moonlight.

It wasn’t because I like PvP or anything. It’s just that the Moonlight Order’s cultist robes are way cooler.

The downside is that wearing Moonlight robes automatically activates PvP against people in Sunlight robes. So, unless I’m snapping screenshots, I won’t be wearing them much.

But hey, looking cool is a win in itself.

Just in case, I decided to let Perro know.

[Dajeong-dosha: The religion system unlocks at level 24. I joined the Order of the Moonlight.]

I couldn’t bring myself to say, “Please join Moonlight too!” — It felt too pushy, like I was trying to rope her in.

Guild System

You can only join a guild with members of the same faction. Guild content includes guild raids and siege wars for large-scale group battles.

I had joined a guild made by members from the BloSe gallery before, but since my current character was way ahead of the crowd, no such guilds had been established yet.

Besides, I didn’t have that many fond memories from guilds in the past, aside from meeting a few decent people like Perro.

Then, an idea struck me.

“What if I create a guild myself and gather the people I had fond memories of, like Perro?”

It wasn’t a bad idea. I could create my own guild and bring back all the good people I met in the past.

I decided to think about it more. For now, not being in a guild wasn’t much of a loss anyway.

Field Boss

You already know what this is: a giant raid boss for large groups. You get daily rewards for defeating it, and it respawns every 4 hours. All you have to do is show up, land a hit, and you get a reward.

It was almost 4 PM, just five minutes until the next boss spawn.

“Time to get a taste of it.”

Field Boss: Rampaging Ancient Golem (Level 24)

A massive figure with slow, lumbering movements. Its strikes made you wonder, “How are we supposed to block that?” But the all-powerful game system makes it possible.

Of course, if you do get hit, you’ll be smashed to bits.

I arrived at the boss spawn point. There were only four active channels, which made me realize that fewer people had hit level 24 than I expected. 

Then again, I’d just spent the past 3 hours speed-running the main quest, barely reaching level 24 myself.

Since there weren’t any big party buffs, I decided to fight solo.

At the spawn point, a massive stone statue stood with its eyes closed. NPCs from the excavation team wandered around, digging up the surrounding soil.

At precisely 4:00 PM, one of the NPCs climbed onto the statue’s head.

The NPC slipped, screamed, and fell.

Their bag burst open, spilling out various artifacts and trinkets. One peculiar-looking necklace fell against the statue’s body.

The statue’s eyes slowly opened.

Its colorless eyes rolled around.

Then, they glowed blood-red.

「Intruder detected. Commencing extermination.」

A cold, machine-like voice echoed over the NPCs’ panicked shouts.

The battle began.

About 30 players swarmed the boss. But I knew better. I hung back, waiting for one of the melee attackers to grab the aggro. I didn’t want the boss’ attention on me.

The damage meter popped up, showing the top 10 damage dealers.

1st: 631/second

10th: 327/second

The difference was more than double. It probably depended on whether they’d fully farmed level 20 gear or not.

Once I saw a solid tank in the top 3, I jumped in.

I focused on my attacks, avoiding counter-attacks. If you successfully counter, the boss’ form would flicker briefly, like heat haze, before returning to normal.

Those who failed the counter weren’t so lucky. One swing and they’d go flying like home runs.

After about 7 minutes, the boss crumbled.

Honestly, it was just a big sandbag. If “Hase of Chains” was a 1.0 in difficulty, this boss was barely a 0.1 Hase.

This so-called “field boss” felt more like the developers whispering, “Look at this! We can even bring these huge bosses to life in virtual reality! Amazing, right? It’s just a tutorial, though.”

Of course, some of the field bosses that come later have downright evil mechanics, but that’s a problem for another day.

I checked the meter.

[Battle Time: 7 minutes 03 seconds]
[Health of Rampaging Ancient Golem: 2,538,000]
[1st: [Curse Blade] Dajeong-dosha – 675 DPS]
[2nd: [Gauntlets] RichIlbalTzumo – 610 DPS]
[3rd: [Orb] Akien – 547 DPS]
…(omitted)…
[10th: [Curse Blade] MaliciousMagpie – 297 DPS]

When you play a game, you play to win.

Dajeong-dosha, victory!

Now, it’s time to check out the glorious spoils!

“Hehe~”

I hummed as I held the sparkling golden treasure chest in my hands. There were two big prizes I could hope for from this box.

-Necklace of Ancient Power — It boosts critical hit rate by a guaranteed 10%.

-Soulstone of the Rampaging Ancient Golem — It can be embedded in a weapon to greatly enhance its power.

The drop rates for these items weren’t great, but something about the weight of the box gave me hope.

With rising anticipation, I carefully pressed the indented spot at the center of the chest. 

Click. The lid slowly lifted, and a soft glow seeped out. Classic gacha animation.

The light starts out white.

If it changes to blue, it’s a rare item.
If it turns purple, it’s a hero-grade item.
If it goes rainbow, then you’ve hit the legendary jackpot.

A brilliant white light radiated from the box.

…The bright white light continues to glow.

…The bright white light continues to glow…

…And then…

Out comes a coin pouch.

“Tch…”

I’m just… so unlucky.

***

 

Online Forum Post

[Author: ㅇㅇ]
[Title: LOL Did You Get the Necklace of Ancient Power?]

“Of course I got it, why else would I post here~~”

(Attached screenshot of them obtaining the Necklace of Ancient Power from a chest)

“Here are the item stats, mwahaha~”

“I was just lazily spoon-feeding DPS at rank 17, not even expecting anything, and BAM, jackpot. But seriously, there are some players out there who are just freakishly good at this game.”

(Attached screenshot of the DPS meter)

[Battle Time: 7 minutes 03 seconds]
[Health of Rampaging Ancient Golem: 2,538,000]
[1st: [Curse Blade] Dajeong-dosha – 675 DPS]
[2nd: [Gauntlets] RichIlbalTzumo – 610 DPS]
[3rd: [Orb] Akien – 547 DPS]

“I knew gauntlet users and spellcasters were strong because I partied with them during the bandit dungeons, but seriously, what’s up with talisman users? Y’all always said they were trash.”

“Are talisman users secretly OP after all?”

[Upvotes: 1 / Downvotes: 79]

***

 

Comments

-“Stop hiding behind an anonymous account, coward. Use a registered name so I can block you, ugh, you’re so annoying.”

-“Fact: it’s a fact.”

-“Rank 17? Bro, that’s not spoon-feeding DPS, that’s poking it with a toothpick, lol.”

-“Meanwhile, I can’t even hit 200 DPS. Are these guys playing a different game or what?”

     “Yo, you too?”

     “Nakama spotted, lol.”

-“I was at the same party. I got 5th place and only got a stupid coin pouch, man. But I’ll admit, Dajeong-dosha and RichIlbalTzumo were insane. Even when big boss patterns showed up, their DPS didn’t waver. They were rock solid.”

(Author’s reply) “LMAO for real. I was getting flung around like a ragdoll and even died once, and had to run back to rejoin the fight.”

-“I play a spear fighter, and Dajeong-dosha was doing DPS right next to me. Their character customization was gorgeous. I should’ve taken a screenshot.”

Next chapter will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!

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