I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun

Chapter 171 – Anaconda Pheromone

* * *

“…Anyway, there’s something you haven’t noticed even though we’re still running the advertisement. Would you like to guess?”

-Suddenly playing Twenty Questions lololololololol

-Seriously, that was so random lol

-Answer! Tail scale care kit!

-Don’t you know what’s changed about me, oppa? I’m really disappointed. You have no observation skills at all.

-Sir, these kids are all single nerds. They won’t understand that.

Since it was so out of the blue, the reactions were about as expected. To summarize, it was basically people asking, “What the hell are you talking about?”

On the other hand, in situations like this, these contrarian kids tend to act up. In other words, if you said, “Then you don’t have to guess,” they really wouldn’t guess. It would be fine if it were just a few of them, but it’s a problem when there are tens of thousands.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have brought this up in the first place… But since it was an ad entrusted to me, it’d be good to at least mention it.

“Alright, how about this? I’ll send a half-price discount code to those who guess correctly. I’ll answer in the form of Twenty Questions.”

I operated the floating drone cam to show my entire body.

This was because it might not be properly introduced due to the camera angle – and the answer was an accessory. Necklace, bracelet, earrings, and a watch. Of course, in the case of earrings, they weren’t actually pierced.

In short, it was like an avatar accessory. It might be easier to explain it as a data bundle sold by an accessory brand. You could also describe it as an advanced form of NFT.

I read through the rapidly scrolling chat, but despite having over 30,000 viewers, no one guessed correctly. Usually, there would be a chance of someone getting it right just by guessing, but was this some sort of collective soliloquy?

I picked a random question to answer.

“Yes. We’re still running the ad. We’ve been advertising since the broadcast started.”

The responses were still ambiguous.

There wasn’t anything particularly strange about the screen being broadcasted, but perhaps because it was my first real-world broadcast, it was difficult to control the lighting as I wanted. I thought it might be hard to notice if you didn’t look closely, so I turned on the lighting function as well.

Despite the randomness of the conversation, I knew it would be hard to adjust the pace, but the viewers were more confused than I expected. It was fortunate in a way, but I needed to throw them a bigger hint.

“Strictly speaking, yes. But there’s an appearance that fits. It seems everyone can use it widely in virtual reality.”

Since all the people I met inside VR were using female characters, it made sense. Even if they were male in reality, they could wear sparkly, feminine accessories here.

Anyway, besides that, I moved around so the viewers wouldn’t have a hard time figuring it out just by chatting leisurely. I opened the front door, grabbed a bundle of cardboard boxes, and headed to the nearby collection bin in the hallway.

After carefully placing the boxes on the pile, I went through a similar process with the Styrofoam from the box I had just opened.

Returning home, I started opening boxes that didn’t contain anything perishable. I grabbed an axe and cut the tape, repeating the process.

The only difference was that this time, I focused more on close-ups of my arms and ears.

The reactions came quickly.

“GimbapRiceGimbap has donated 1,000 won.”

-You’re wearing a lot of bling today, teacher lolololololol

“GimbapRiceGimbap, you got it right. I’ve sent you a discount code via private message, so feel free to use it later.”

At the same time, a new ad appeared.

There was also an ad from Bulgari for the snake-shaped watch. I wondered if anyone would actually buy it, but with tens of thousands of people, who knows. Whether they bought it after seeing the ad didn’t really matter to me.

I glanced at the chat window… and then.

“…Why is everyone making such a fuss?”

-Who are you going to buy this for!!!!!!!

-This is a high-level way of saying you don’t have a girlfriend lolololololol

-Just look at it lolololololol

-It is pretty lol

-Did you really think we would buy this???????

“…Even if you say that, I know over 90% of you here use avatars of the opposite gender. It’ll suit colorful female avatars, so you could wear it there, right?”

I glanced at the chat window again.

How should I put it? Most of the comments were about “getting hit with facts” and threatening to report me. But what could I do? It was an undeniable truth I felt keenly during the recent KSM. The reality that there wasn’t a single male avatar was hard for even me to accept.

Anyway, the promotion seemed to be done to some extent. It was time to open the next package. The plastic was heavy with tape and shipping labels, but there was plenty of space if I compressed it forcibly.

I carefully unfolded the box and picked up the contents.

“…Oh.”

“GimbapRiceGimbap has donated 1,000 won.”

-Tuntun Lee Yoo Jin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Wow, that’s a thick padded jacket lololololol

-You wouldn’t worry about the cold with just that lolololol

-Never mind, just show us how it looks on you lololololol

-It looks really expensive for real

A black long padded jacket.

Interestingly, there were snap buttons on the back to accommodate a tail. If a regular person used it, they could block the inside from the wind with the lining, so there was no problem using it.

I considered explaining that part but kept my mouth shut. Revealing it might hint at my identity.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, these guys didn’t care about that part and just made a fuss, asking for a photo of me wearing it – but I was prepared to wear it in virtual reality.

If I wore it in reality, people might question, “How does a padded jacket interact with a tail even with motion capture equipment?” which would be an absolute headache.

I sat on the sofa, activated VR, and quickly changed the interior background to show myself wearing the jacket. I undid the snap buttons and carefully threaded my tail through the opening.

Meanwhile, I checked what other components came with the jacket. Something thick and long enough to fit an arm through. Another snap button at the end that could attach to the padded jacket… Wait a minute.

Is this a padded jacket for the tail?

“…Oh, there’s something like this.”

I detached my tail and attached the component.

The padded jacket snapped into place. As I threaded my tail through again, I felt a soft sensation. It was noticeably warmer. With this, I wouldn’t have to worry about the cold anymore.

After showing that, I spoke again.

“This seems to be a part that only exists in virtual reality. Anyway, it’s a long padded jacket. I already received a white padded jacket from the same brand, and I have several padded jackets at home… So I plan to give away the extras through a draw.”

-Wow, is that a padded jacket for a tail? Lolololol

-Virtual reality has advanced to this level, amazing!!!

-Never mind the quality, how did they come up with this idea lolololol

-HeuhngHeuhngHeuhngHeuhngHeuhngHeuhngHeuhng….

-I can hear the editor grinning from here lolololol

Well.

Of course, saying it was only for virtual reality was a lie. I saw it when I unboxed it, but the existence of such a thing could hint at my identity, so I deliberately didn’t mention it.

So, I planned to send this jacket during the winter – in other words, it would arrive when my identity was revealed.

Naturally, the surface reason was different.

“But if I send it now, it would just take up space, so I’ll send it when it gets really cold. Unlike other items, I plan to do that with padded jackets.”

“YooJinTailSkinThiefDice has donated 50,000 won.”

-So you’re sending the one you wore, right? Yes? I’ll be waiting, Anaconda Tail Sniffing Loyal Soldier^^

“Line up.”

“Ahk!”

Bang!

Finally, the first victim of today’s broadcast emerged. As I explained before, this was one of the ways to educate viewers by utilizing the interview feature. After I sent the paid big-donation villain, whose head was a mess, off, I tried to continue explaining, but it wasn’t easy.

-How is this even Korean? Lololololololololololol

-What the hell is Anaconda Tail Sniffing lolololol

-Oh, it’s possible. Totally possible. Absolutely possible!!!!!!!!

-That’s an unimaginable combination of words lolololololol

-The nickname itself is insane lolololololol

“Sigh.”

These perverted deviants.

Anyway, I returned to reality. I neatly packed the jacket back into the box. It was a bit awkward to use the word ‘neatly’ since I had torn off all the tape on the top part, but returning it to a similar state was neat enough.

In the meantime, another donation came in.

“(SSM Entertainment) DICE has donated 30,000 won.”

-Can I join the line too?

Pah.

Without hesitation, I activated the interview feature again and suddenly pulled

the bewildered Dice forward, making eye contact.

Dice was kneeling, and I was looking up at Dice from above. During that brief moment, various emotions passed, but right now, even the exploding chat window didn’t catch my attention.

Pinch.

My two fingers, which had grasped Dice’s squishy cheek, began to spread apart.

“Ah, wow! What is this─!”

“I fed you expensive food, and you’re making weird noises.”

After sufficient education, Dice was released.

There were still many items to introduce.

“…And this is a wallet and phone case made from real anaconda leather. How should I describe it… It’s a very… indescribable sensation. I’ll provide a purchase link for this as well. Of course, I don’t make these myself.”

-Oh, you’re not making it lolololololololol

-I clicked the purchase link, but ahㅡㅡ

-Your sales skills are lacking lol. If you had said this five minutes later, you could have caught a bunch of suckers, what a shame?

-Are they crazy? Lololololololol

-It looks really tempting, is this normal?

…What should I say? Just holding this product feels burdensome.

My tail is off-limits, you punks. My eyes naturally glanced at my tail. Even though I didn’t know why it existed, I’d been using it well so far, but trying to skin my tail? I’d have to decapitate all the viewers.

As I said, I wouldn’t be using it due to the burden. I’d probably give it to Dice and Harmony. It seemed better than leaving it to gather dust in my house.

Anyway, the wallet and phone case were useful.

In other words, sometimes items that weren’t useful did come.

“The next one is… Hah. This… Does anyone need this? Reptile nutrients and medicine… If any of you have reptiles at home, I’ll send it to you immediately. If you verify it on Tricky’s personal site, I’ll check and send it.”

Receiving this kind of stuff in reality was dizzying.

Come to think of it, where should I go if I get injured? A regular hospital? Then if my tail gets hurt, should I go to an animal hospital? In the past, it didn’t matter because field medics fixed everything no matter where you were injured.

And it wasn’t the end.

“…The second one is wax. It seems to be for my tail, but unfortunately, I’ll send it to anyone who needs it.”

-What the hell is this lineup lololololololol

-This isn’t an ad, it’s a prank, isn’t it?

-This is dizzying for real lol

-I want the wax Yoo Jin-noona used once, salute salute^^

-Alright, I’m lining up

I opened the box, tore off the tape, and neatly stacked it on one side.

However, since there was already a lot opened at the beginning, I put the axe down and picked up one of the items on the table to show on the drone cam.

Cat ear headphones.

I had someone to give this to.

“I’ll give this to Harmony.”

Harmony, who uses a cat avatar, could definitely use it.

Besides, based on the broadcasts I watched a few times, she often did food streams with her real appearance. Unlike Dice, she could make good use of this on Yourspace for review content.

Let’s take care of those around me first.

“NobodyKnowsI’veCome has donated 1,000 won.”

-Teacher, your expression is scary. Are you looking for someone to smash?

“…No. I was thinking about what to give to the editors and other people.”

At the same time, I felt a familiar grip in my hand.

Yes.

I should give this first.

The drone cam, linked to my gaze, zoomed in on the tactical tomahawk in my hand.

“I think it would be good to give one of these to each person around me first.”

-When did a tomahawk become a gift you can give to people around you??????

-Does this mean we’ll see Harmony using a tomahawk instead of a knife in cooking streams? Lolololol

-I can’t understand this person’s standards lolololol

-Isn’t this a threat from the editors’ perspective? Lol

-Receive this gift (Think about who this will be aimed at if you slack off at work）

….

As always, my holy intentions were filled with slander today as well.

It was one of those days when there were more than 30 boxes left to open.

* * *