I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

Episode 6 – Let’s Just Hold Hands (Didn’t Happen) (1)

“…Asleep, huh.”

On a summer night filled with the chirping of insects, I waited until Victoria fell asleep before getting up.

Now that I couldn’t hear her thoughts, she must really be out cold.

Seeing how she could conjure up the most lewd fantasies even just from holding hands, it made me doubt whether she was truly a saint.

“Ignition.”

I stealthily sat on the chair and lit a cigarette made of magic leaves. A pungent smoke filled the air, a sharp sensation running through my body.

“Can’t ever smoke normally, thanks to her.”

While smoking, I checked the letter that had arrived for me. I had once written to my master, detailing Victoria’s symptoms to get rid of the flowers on her body, hoping for a reply.

– [To my dearest student, Astal.]

– [Our crybaby. How goes the Demon Lord subjugation?]

Charlotte Snowrain, the Blue Tower Lord.

Opening the letter stamped with the seal of my mentor, who had taken me in after my parents died and set me on the path of a mage, I saw the familiar handwriting.

– [You wrote that you wanted to remove the flowers that blossomed on the Saintess’s body.]

– [Your idea of connecting the body turning into a flower to the use of miracles with the laws of causality is quite brilliant. I was able to get a hint from an old document, thanks to you.]

As if snowflakes were falling, words appeared on the blank letter, forming sentences. It was a magic that my master, who specialized in all things related to snow, often used.

– [It seems there were a few Saintesses like Victoria in the old days as well.]

“But the more detailed records are all in the Holy Kingdom of Aurelium…”

Tap, tap.

As the cigarette slowly burned out, a feeling of urgency gnawed at me. After all, I had just been told there was no way to immediately save Victoria.

– [Besides, for the ‘Harmless Mage’ they call you to come to me asking for help saying there’s someone you can’t save… This old master is quite surprised.]

Harmless Mage, Astal Kaisaros.

Flame Warrior, Kyle Dragonica.

Noble Spirit Caller, Anima Silverbroom.

Divine Archer of Vegetation, Tarion Gladewood.

Finally, Victoria Everhart, known as the Saint of Flowers.

Our party of warriors, each with a unique moniker, had been wandering and living in this demon realm for a year, all to kill the Demon King.

Among them, my moniker was the Harmless Mage. It meant that no one could ever be harmed in my presence.

My ability to foresee an opponent’s magic and dispel it by colliding it with an identical spell was something only I, with my special eyes, could do.

[Really? Your dispel magic didn’t work? Combining existing spells to create new magic of a higher caliber is your ace in the hole, isn’t it?]

“…If that had worked, I wouldn’t have asked for your help, Master.”

I let out a deep sigh as I looked at the spells written below. They were all the ones I’d already tried on Victoria. They’d all been completely ineffective, and I remembered stammering awkwardly then.

– [If none of that works, couldn’t you try to reshape miracles through the power of love?]

“……?”

– [Why, there’s always the tales sung by bards, isn’t there? Those classic, yet grand stories about how miracles happened through the love of the hero and the saint.]

“…That’s all just nonsense from greedy b*stards. You know I don’t believe in love or any such illusions as gods.”

I muttered to myself as I looked at the letter. If miracles could happen through love alone, why would magic or divine power even exist?

The fact was that the Hero and Saint of this generation weren’t exactly getting along. As a human of the Dragonslayer family and a saint with dragon’s blood, they were practically polar opposites.

This was also largely why I was assigned to guard Victoria, so the chance of a miracle happening through the hero and saint falling in love, like the stories, was slim to none.

– [Actually, I was just joking. Seeing you, who never pays any attention to women, sending a letter like this, I thought, ‘Our little guy is finally experiencing love!’]

If it were anyone else, maybe, but with Victoria, there was absolutely no way. Wasn’t she the one who had been spewing all sorts of venomous words just a moment ago, saying she hated me?

– [You never paid attention to the people around you, even in the magic tower. My female apprentices were clamoring to meet you, and yet.]

“It was more important to research magic that could save more people than to care about such things.”

It was more important than dealing with the materialistic people who looked at things like appearance, reputation, or status, instead of my true self.

I, the sole survivor of a town that had been burned to the ground, had started my life as a janitor at the magic tower.

The fact that those mages who’d looked down on me with such disgust had later changed their tune was also nauseating.

– [You don’t still believe that if you’re a virgin until 30, you become a great mage, do you? I’d wholeheartedly welcome the Saint of Flowers. After all, she has a beautiful soul.]

“…A beautiful soul, you say.”

I snorted at the thought of the vulgar, inner thoughts that kept flowing from Victoria. I suppressed the urge to write back immediately and send a scathing reply.

Victoria’s inner self was so treacherous and frank that it was hard to be sure if that was even her true feeling.

– [Anyway, if you happen to be in the Holy Kingdom, try asking the newly appointed Pope. You’ll need his permission to access information about the previous saints.]

That was the end of my master’s advice and the letter. Immediately afterwards, like snow melting, the letters on the paper dissolved, becoming illegible.

It was a precaution to avoid possible tracking or eavesdropping. Having read the entire letter, I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling.

“…The Holy Kingdom. The rumors about the new Pope aren’t good.”

The previous Pope was a foul-mouthed, sarcastic individual like Victoria, but his faith was second to none.

But,

“I hear stories of them being obsessed with money and lust, even exploiting clerics, and selling off knighthoods.”

It’s no wonder Victoria’s got a headache, the current Pope is largely to blame for the massive surge of men wanting to become paladins.

“Guess I should drink something and try to sleep.”

My head was throbbing, keeping me awake. Even if I don’t have romantic feelings for Victoria, there was something about her that kept catching my eye.

It bothered me how Victoria would pretend everything was fine while enduring excruciating pain from the side effects of her miracles.

– Ah… Ahhh… Ughhh….

Once, while we were camping out, I was on night watch and heard whimpering coming from Victoria’s tent.

– Victoria, are you okay?!

I was startled and yanked open Victoria’s tent to find a girl writhing in agony, with flowers blooming and bleeding from her body. She had been biting on a piece of cloth to stifle the pain that had leaked out.

“How did such a simpleton become a saint… It’s like grabbing some innocent girl and telling her to save the world.”

I took a swig of the beer I’d hidden with invisibility magic, my face twisted with disgust. It had gone flat and left a stale taste on my tongue.

I already knew there was a very low chance of the chosen ones, whether heroes or saints, who were supposed to kill the demon king and save the world, actually being decent people.

They’re the types who blindly follow whatever they’re told, not realizing how dangerous that is.

“…That’s why I don’t believe in God.”

The hero, Kyle, was fighting demons and monsters, completely disregarding the value of his own life. He had a childhood friend back home who loved him, yet he was willing to burn out for the sake of saving the world.

The saint, Victoria, was the same. Even knowing how much pain she was in, she recklessly overused her miracles to heal as many people as possible.

It was incredibly foolish. What were the rest of us supposed to do if they died?

‘If someone has to die here, it should only be me.’

I drained my beer, squeezing my eyes shut. My trembling hands had calmed down, and my ragged breathing was starting to even out.

In my case, I didn’t have a family to go back to, no hometown, no friends, no lovers. My journey had started with the intention of finding a place to die.

“Uuuhm… Astal, niiiiim…”

“Alright, alright.”

Seeing Victoria call out for me even in her sleep, I chuckled and had no choice but to head back to bed. How did she know I’d vanished immediately?

After I’d strictly told her not to use her miracles, she was finally able to sleep peacefully, free from the pain.

So, I just wanted to hold her hand again as we slept, but…

“Teddy bear…”

“……”

Squish.

Victoria wrapped her arms tightly around me and wouldn’t let go. The soft, yielding sensation pressing against my back was awakening all my senses.

‘This woman’s got some awful sleeping habits…!’

I strained to keep my consciousness from focusing on my back, lips twitching, desperately trying to avoid a trip to the guillotine for defiling a saint’s body.

Come to think of it, I’d heard from Anima that Victoria had this cute habit of sleeping with a bear plushie as big as a person. Guess she’s using me as a substitute since it’s not here.

I wriggled, trying my best to escape without waking her, but there was no way I could overpower a dragon’s natural strength without magic.

‘Right… Just think of it as payback for drinking and smoking without saying a word…’

After realizing, in the span of a few minutes, that there was no escaping Victoria no matter how much I struggled, I finally closed my eyes and just waited for the night to pass.

This childish farce will be over in a month anyway.

* * *

The morning came, and upon waking up, Victoria let out a silent scream at the sight of Astal sleeping soundly right in front of her face.

‘Eeeaaahh…! What was I thinking…!!’

She clearly remembered only wanting to hold Astal’s hand last night. At first, she’d stayed up, on edge, worrying if he would cross a line.

‘I had no idea I’d end up cuddling him like this…!!’

She must have lost the battle against sleep somewhere along the way. Now, she was staring at herself, hugging Astal like a doll with both her arms and legs.

‘If only I had my usual bear plush… None of this would have happened…!’

A habit that even her close friend and colleague, Anima, teased her about for being cute. Victoria realized that not bringing the plushie, with the thought of sharing a bed with the man she liked, was the root of all this trouble.

‘Ah, that’s right…! I’ll sneak out of the bedroom while Astal is sleeping, and pretend I don’t know a thing!’

A smile crept onto Victoria’s lips as the solution dawned on her. It was a perfect plan, by any standards.

‘And then I’ll act all nonchalant, saying things like, “Good morning. How was sleeping with the saint? Did you enjoy it?”’

Even at that moment, Victoria was already plotting how to mess with Astal. If she threw in a little white lie and called him a pervert for touching her chest while she was sleeping, his face would definitely turn tomato-red.

Just as Victoria slowly lifted the blanket, trying to sneak out of the bed…

“…Victoria, you’ve got some seriously bad sleeping habits.”

Astal opened his eyes suddenly, catching Victoria off guard. He had actually woken up earlier and had been pretending to sleep just to tease her.

“W-were you awake? Since when…?”

Victoria could only stammer at the sight of Astal. The two of them were tangled together, almost like one entity, a situation that would definitely cause misunderstandings for anyone who saw them.

“Since you started hugging me in the middle of the night? It was so uncomfortable I couldn’t sleep a wink. How can a woman who’s called the Saint of Flowers call me a teddy bear while cuddling me…”

“Hyaaack…!!! I would never do such a thing!!”

Victoria shrieked with a cute cry, embarrassed by the situation that had just unfolded before her.

“It’s a misunderstanding! You’re the one who hugged me, Astal! Yes, let’s make it that way! You broke your promise of only holding hands!”

Their breaths were so close. It felt like she could hear every beat of her racing heart. She even got the illusion that they were one entity, and Victoria’s ears turned red.

It was then.

There was a sensation of him, abruptly, hugging her from behind.

“Who was it that hugged me to sleep like this last night? Do you *really* not know? Even like this?”

Asteel, hugging Victoria, even had the audacity to yawn, acting as if he’d had a restless night’s sleep.

It was just their normal way of joking around with each other, after all.

“I, it was me…”

“I can’t quite hear you? Who was it?”

“It was me! Me! The Saint of the Flower, Victoria!”

“Alright then, that’s enough.”

Asteel wore a satisfied expression all over his face and released Victoria. This experience, of her ceding a point to him, was precious to him.

“I’m going to tell your companions that you tried to assault the Saint last night!”

Victoria blurted out words that weren’t in her heart, embarrassed. Her heart was pounding so wildly just from a hug, it was mortifying.

“Go ahead, did you think I’d just get into bed with you without preparing anything? I’ve got a recording spell ready, you know.”

Asteel responded, daring her to try it. He had, in fact, cleverly stored last night’s events using magic, in case something like this happened.

“You, you men are really the worst! How could you intrude on a woman’s privacy…!”

“I clearly said I’d just hold your hand to sleep, you were the one who broke that promise, weren’t you?”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses! You must have controlled me with magic! You wicked mage…!”

“There’s no magic in this world that can control people’s minds, Victoria. You didn’t know that love potions are a complete fabrication?”

“I, I don’t know about that! Never show your face in front of me again!”

At Asteel’s words, Victoria shouted and, as if she would never see him again, fled from the inn room.

Even though they had to leave for the village of liars anyway, so they’d see each other’s faces again soon.