I Became the Drug-Addicted Childhood Friend

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: SemiPickle

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“Tasty.”

I was eating ice cream during the hot summer.

It was sweet.

The ice cream was melting down the stick, and I licked it off my fingers.

The weather was hot.

I remember the white sleeveless shirt Seo-Ah was wearing.

Cold and delicious.

Was she already using drugs around this time?

It was during the summer, right before Han Si-Hoo entered the Academy.

Back then, there were no bandages wrapped around her.

She didn’t pull down her sleeves either.

It was summer, after all.

Why would she do that in such heat?

So we went to buy ice cream.

It had been a while, and we had some extra money.

“Heh.”

She smiled.

Was it because of the drugs?

Or was it just because the ice cream was delicious?

Memories are supposed to be beautiful.

I didn’t want to think about the drugs.

I finished eating.

“Let’s buy some more next time.”

A small store on the outskirts of the city.

The occasional customers were all pitiful in one way or another.

That was the rumor going around.

Living outside the city was evidence of misfortune itself.

But I wasn’t unhappy.

We got along well.

“Together.”

Everything was good as long as we were together.

Crunch.

The ice cream broke apart in my mouth.

Cold.

We walked.

As we walked, old memories resurfaced.

We were on our way to meet Lee Yu-Ram’s younger sister.

I bought another ice cream at a convenience store.

No matter what I did, old memories kept coming back.

There were too many memories.

It didn’t taste good.

It was the same ice cream, but I couldn’t taste it.

The same flavor.

What was wrong?

The reason was obvious.

My family was dead.

Crack.

I saw the concrete curb of the road.

It was night.

The streetlights weren’t on.

But the moonlight was bright enough, so it was fine.

“This is how you do it.”

If you fall off, you lose.

You had to walk only on the curb.

Jump when there’s a gap.

“If you make it to the end, you win.”

I stretched out my arms to balance myself.

I looked like I was about to fall, but I didn’t.

There were no cars around.

The roads leading out of the city weren’t used much.

You could still see the damage left by monsters.

There was no budget for repairs.

“You just have to make it to this stone. You know that, right?”

At some point, Seo-Ah had already reached the finish line and was waving from afar.

It was Han Si-Hoo’s turn.

This was an even older memory.

A memory where drugs weren’t a concern.

Right?

How far back do I have to go?

Whenever I remember Seo-Ah smiling in the past, I wonder if she was truly happy with Han Si-Hoo.

“Ah, look at that.”

She looked up at the sky.

“All the clouds are gone. There are so many stars.”

Really?

I looked up.

There were still plenty of clouds.

We were still in the city.

The roads were packed with cars.

The “don’t step on the ground” game.

Honestly, it wasn’t that fun of a game.

What was fun was just doing it with a friend.

Seo-Ah tried to block the moonlight with her hand.

To see the faint starlight more clearly.

“Ah, it’ll be easier to see from here.”

Bang.

And Seo-Ah stopped talking.

I should have stopped it.

I should have, I should’ve done something.

How?

Going to the Academy would let me earn money.

With that, Seo-Ah could live in a better place.

Seo-Ah told me not to come.

She told me not to come inside the house, so I waited for hours and then went back.

She told me I was disgusting, and that hurt a little.

Would it have been okay if I hadn’t gone back to the Academy that time?

What part?

She was already addicted to the drugs; how could it have been okay?

Was it okay because I at least made enough to pay for the drugs?

Where did I go wrong?

No matter what choices I made, nothing good seemed to happen.

What choice should I have changed?

The Academy seemed like it treated us well.

There were some shady aspects, but still.

I believed it would be a good place to stay until I found a better solution.

They’re just pumping drugs into Seo-Ah and running tests.

Even though she told them not to, they forced her through trauma tests, and it disgusted me.

But isn’t it an institution that protects humanity?

A place that protects citizens.

They just act like anything they do is justified as long as it’s for the sake of humanity.

How is it that the doctor came in so casually?

There’s no one to protect us.

Because everyone’s too busy protecting themselves.

Forgetting that it was a rotting place was the mistake.

Wrong.

I was wrong.

I’m sorry.

That’s why learning is important.

To learn, you need to reflect.

What went wrong, and what was right?

What needs to be fixed and how?

It was just that I lacked strength.

Strength.

“Si-Hoo.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing?”

“Practicing swordsmanship.”

“Again today?”

It was just a metal rod in my hand, but if I swung it properly, it became a sword.

The more I practiced, the more I improved.

I would have learned faster if I had a teacher, but I could still grow on my own.

“Yeah.”

“Who are you going to hit?”

It sounded strange when she said it like that.

“I’m not going to hit anyone.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll only deal with the bad people.”

I had known for a long time that I needed strength.

“I see.”

Seo-Ah knew it too.

That we needed strength to survive.

“We might have to fight real monsters someday.”

There might come a time when we’d have to deal with dungeons or gates.

When the raid alarms sounded, all we could do was run.

But I felt like the day would come when we’d have no choice but to fight.

“That’s scary.”

I swung the sword.

Then I thrust it.

“But there might be a more peaceful way than fighting.”

I doubted we’d be able to talk to monsters that didn’t understand words.

When the time came to protect, we had to protect.

Just protecting wouldn’t be enough.

We had to eliminate the cause.

So, I cut and thrust.

“Peace?”

“Yeah. You might get hurt if you keep fighting.”

“……”

“You saw it too, right? People getting hurt while fighting.”

When was that?

I had seen people fighting each other.

I had also seen them fight things that weren’t people.

“I’ll only fight when necessary.”

There were times when it was necessary to fight.

There were moments when fighting was justified.

Han Si-Hoo never got hurt.

He was becoming an undefeated hero.

So, he cut with his sword.

The enemy, without hesitation.

For some reason, there was blood on the sword that had cut.

It hadn’t just sliced through the air.

My heart pounded.

I heard a ringing in my ears.

– Was I the bad person?

I had only tried to kill the doctor.

– Was I the monster?

Is that what he wanted to say?

Everything overlapped.

From childhood Seo-Ah to the present, struck by Han Si-Hoo’s sword.

He spouted words no one wanted to hear.

Did I really have to listen to my childhood friend explain that she never sold her body?

Choking someone, kicking them.

Honestly, even a typical villain wouldn’t do that to their own family.

You can’t do that in your right mind.

That’s not okay.

That’s never okay.

I didn’t want to hurt her in the end.

Enduring with willpower.

Mental strength.

But it’s like cutting off your legs and asking you to run.

Isn’t it similar to cutting off your head and asking you to think?

Even so, I didn’t want to hurt Seo-Ah.

Bang.

So the doctor shot her.

Lick.

It was ice cream again.

Seo-Ah was eating it deliciously.

“Should we get one more?”

I barely had enough money.

But it was a rare treat.

“Should we?”

“Yeah.”

There was an ice cream I hadn’t seen before.

“It’s tuna ice cream!”

“Tuna…? What does that even taste like?”

We had a lot of canned tuna at home because Seo-Ah liked it.

There were cheaper foods, but tuna was surprisingly expensive.

“Let’s try it!”

She smiled brightly.

Well, tuna ice cream tasted like tuna.

It was so fishy that even Seo-Ah couldn’t help but spit it out.

Later, I found out it was a limited-edition ice cream made as a punishment.

Once you got used to it, it wasn’t entirely inedible.

“…It was fun, wasn’t it?”

Ahaha.

She laughed.

I didn’t know how she could always smile like that.

The world was bleak.

A mess.

There was no kindness to be found in this world.

“Why would anyone freeze tuna to eat it?”

Really.

“I think I’m okay not eating it for a while.”

“Me too.”

The path home was full of crumbling streets.

Everyone had left, and only dust remained.

Occasionally, stray animals wandered around.

“Do you know the name of this flower?”

Seo-Ah pointed to a flower with red and white petals mixed together.

“What is it?”

“Hm? I don’t know either.”

“It’s probably a carnation.”

“What, you knew? No wonder it looked like those paper-folded carnations.”

“Yeah. It’s a carnation.”

I remembered seeing it in a book Seo-Ah had picked up, some kind of flower encyclopedia.

I forgot all the silly flower meanings.

At least I remembered the name.

“Did someone plant it and abandon it? It feels lonely.”

“They probably moved a long time ago.”

“Right.”

Moving.

I had been thinking for a while that we needed to move someday.

Han Si-Hoo knew that too.

Living in this slum was dangerous.

But there was nowhere else to go.

We didn’t have the money to live under the city’s safe protection.

“I wonder if we’ll ever live in a nice house.”

“Yeah.”

“Though, to be honest, it’s fine right now.”

Yoo Seo-Ah didn’t seem to have any attachment to the house.

It was because Han Si-Hoo had often brought up the subject of moving.

“…If you’re happy, then I’m happy too.”

Han Si-Hoo spoke.

It was an unusually sentimental thing for him to say.

“Ahaha…”

She laughed.

And they walked a little more.

“Si-Hoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’ll always be able to stay together?”

There was a hint of anxiety.

Even while smiling, the atmosphere grew heavier.

“Of course.”

“I hope so.”

But there was nothing to worry about.

I would never leave Seo-Ah alone.

If that was the case, no problem would ever arise.

What Seo-Ah was afraid of would never happen.

Never.

That kind of thing would never happen.

“…Still, there might come a time when we’re apart or can’t see each other for a while.”

Seo-Ah said.

Realistically, it made sense when thinking about the future.

It was uncertain how long we could stay together.

But I still wanted to be with her.

“But, well, we’ll meet again. So, let’s cheer each other on no matter where we are.”

Seo-Ah smiled as she said that.

“Do you think that day will come?”

I couldn’t really imagine it.

“The world is big. Someday.”

We’ll be able to chase our dreams.

That’s what she said.

The sun was starting to set.

The clouds were like giant cotton candy.

The sky was tinted with orange and pink hues.

I stopped for a moment, mesmerized by the sky.

Anyone nearby would have been watching the sky as well, I thought.