I Became the Childhood Friend Who Commits Suicide

Chapter 6

“…Hey, are you alright?”

Did I make her cry?

No, it was just a single tear that rolled down. She probably teared up from a yawn or something.

“…Let’s go to the infirmary,” she said.

“I really don’t feel like going out…”

“You can’t stay like this. You need to get treated.”

“President, promise me you won’t tell Si woo, okay?”

She didn’t answer right away. This was important.

Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke calmly.

“If you go to the infirmary, I won’t say anything.”

“Really? Promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

She held out her pinky. I was about to offer my cut hand, then quickly swapped to the other one.

She looked unsettled, probably disgusted. Just as I was about to lower my hand in embarrassment, she hooked her finger around mine.

Alright, I could trust her now.

I didn’t want to leave the dorm, but it was better than letting the protagonist find out.

Following the president, I headed toward the infirmary.

***

The nurse looked at my wrist and sighed.

“…I have to ask, just in case. How did this happen?”

“Um…”

“It’s okay. Your reaction tells me everything.”

The nurse, who I hadn’t met before, was impressive, just as described in the original story.

And well… she had an impressive figure. Not that it stirred anything, but I couldn’t help wondering if it would be soft to the touch.

“Ouch!”

A sting. She applied antiseptic to my wrist and wrapped it with a bandage.

Was this worth a trip to the infirmary?

The nurse glanced at the president and asked, “Are you a friend?”

“I’m the class president.”

“Keep an eye on her. You know what I mean?”

“…Yes.”

Then, she turned to me.

“Would you consider counseling?”

“Hmm, no.”

I don’t need counseling. I’m a completely normal student who just happens to want to die.

Right? I’m normal, right?

“Alright, I’ll book a session for you on Wednesday after school.”

“Yes… wait, what?”

“It’s okay. Counseling isn’t strange; think of it as career advice.”

The look in her eyes was too firm to argue.

“Alright, you’re all set. If you don’t come on Wednesday, I’ll inform your homeroom teacher. Understood?”

“…Yes.”

I was about to leave the infirmary when the president called me back.

“Hana, hold on.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I called Si woo. He’s coming here.”

“Wait, who?”

Maybe I was too tired, but I thought I misheard.

“Kim Si woo. He’s on his way.”

“What?! You promised not to tell him!”

“I didn’t mention anything about the dorm. I just told him you were here.”

Unbelievable.

What was the point of that pinky promise then?

I felt betrayed.

But there was no time to dwell on it.

The protagonist was coming here.

“I’m leaving.”

I quickly walked to the infirmary door—only for it to open automatically.

Wait, do we have automatic doors now?

Or did I awaken some new power?

Neither. It was just Kim Si woo opening it from the other side.

“…Oh, hey.”

“Hana, what in the world…”

His gaze shifted from my face to my wrist.

I quickly hid my wrist behind me, but it was too late. At least the bandage covered the cuts.

“Why is your wrist like that? Did you get hurt?”

“Let’s talk outside. It’d be rude to disturb the nurse.”

If we talked here, the nurse might butt in, which would be a disaster.

And as for the president… our trust was already broken.

We moved into the hallway. Si woo’s face was a mixture of confusion, worry, and concern.

“Let me see your wrist. Is it hurt badly?”

“Nah, it’s just a little cut.”

“A cut? With what?”

“Um… paper?”

Silence. Yeah, even I thought it was a flimsy excuse.

“You know how it is. Flipping through pages too fast, and you get a nasty paper cut that bleeds a lot…”

“You really need to stop with the weird jokes. And why didn’t you come to class today? Do you know how worried I was?”

“…I overslept. Stayed up reading. Remember, the paper cut? Yeah, that’s why.”

Hey, that was pretty logical.

“…”

“…Sorry. But you don’t need to worry about me. See? I’m perfectly fine! Hiyah, hiyah!”

“Good. That’s a relief.”

He accepted it easily.

Really?

This protagonist…

“Let’s head back then. I’ve still got more reading to do. Can’t wait to finish it.”

“Ugh…”

The president sighed beside me, and I shot her a warning glare.

Don’t break any more promises!

It seemed she got the message because she stayed silent.

Si woo finally noticed her and thanked her.

“Oh, Kyunga, thanks. I was so worried something terrible happened…”

“Idiot.”

“Huh?”

“I’m done with this. You two figure things out.”

The president stormed off.

She’s an odd character too.

Am I the only normal one around here?

***

Si woo watched the president walk away.

Is she in a bad mood today?

The atmosphere felt a bit awkward. Eventually, he looked back at me, as if he was trying to check if I was the same Hana he knew.

Despite the dark circles under my eyes and the bandaged wrist, I must have seemed like my usual self.

A little unsettling, but at least nothing was wrong.

Si woo spoke up.

“Let’s go.”

“Hey, Si woo, I was curious… Do convenience stores sell ropes?”

“…Ropes? Why ropes all of a sudden?”

“I just need one for something.”

What could she need a rope for? The only things that came to mind were climbing or tug-of-war.

“What’s it for?”

“It’s a surprise. I’ll tell you later!”

She always loved surprises, especially the kind that let her giggle at my reaction.

“Hmm, convenience stores probably don’t have them, but maybe a hardware store does?”

“Hardware store… Then I’ll swing by there. You’re going straight back, right?”

“I’ll go with you since I have nothing else to do.”

She smiled.

It was that tight-lipped smile she wore when hiding her true feelings.

Surprise? She didn’t really want me to go?

“Alright, let’s go together.”

***

The hardware store was at the far corner of the academy grounds, which made sense, given how few students visited it.

The store was empty when we entered.

“Looking for something?” the owner asked.

“Rope,” Hana replied.

“For you, miss?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Not selling it. Go back.”

The owner’s tone was harsh, especially for a service job.

“Why?”

“Your wrist.”

A short answer.

Si woo looked at her wrist, where the white bandage was now tinged pink.

“It’s not what you think.”

Hana immediately denied it.

“I can give you a string, free of charge. But no rope.”

“I need rope!”

“Why? Afraid the string won’t hold?”

Si woo didn’t interrupt, but he understood the owner’s implication.

No way.

Not her. Not Hana.

Hana wouldn’t do that.

“I… just need it to pull something heavy. I swear.”

“Then come up with a better excuse.”

“I’m telling the truth…”

“Not selling it. Now leave.”

Leave? That was harsh.

Si woo wanted to protest, but couldn’t bring himself to speak.

Hana looked up at him, eyes pleading.

“Si woo, you know I’m not lying, right?”

“…Of course. I know.”

You’re not like that.

I’m sure of it.

As if trying to convince himself, he repeated it in his mind.

“Give her the rope. She’s harmless. Honestly, if anything, worry that she’d nibble on the rope out of boredom.”

Si woo’s words were as much for himself as for the owner.

She’s fine.

The word he couldn’t bear to consider didn’t suit Hana at all.

“…Are you certain?”

“We’ve been together for 18 years. I’m sure.”

The owner studied Si woo’s eyes, then handed over the rope.

***

The setting sun bathed the academy’s grounds in orange.

“Thanks for today.”

“…Hana.”

“Yes?”

After much internal debate, Si woo finally voiced the question he’d been grappling with.

“You wouldn’t, right?”

Tell me it’s not true.

Please.

Hana blinked in surprise, then gave a soft smile, showing a hint of her teeth. She reached out and poked his forehead between his brows—an old signal that only they shared.

“What are you talking about, silly.”

“Ha, yeah. Silly of me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then!”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

Hana waved, and Si woo waved back.

Once she was gone, the smile faded from his face.

“Something’s off.”

His childhood friend had changed.

***

The knot was tied perfectly.

Unlike the necktie, this rope would hold.

Everything was prepared. Once I hung it around my neck, it would all be over.

No interruptions like yesterday.

I had a hunch as to why the pain turned to pleasure.

The only anomaly was that thing over there.

The strawberry-flavored vitamin.

The euphoria it brought was overwhelming. I could live forever, drowning in that bliss.

But no,

It’s a trap.

A sweet bait leading to a miserable life.

All I had to do was die.

No worries about the future.

The only thing that bothered me was the lie I’d told the protagonist.

I even dirtied our shared memories to make an excuse.

It made me feel a little down.

But it was for the best.

In the end, this would be good for him too.

“Alright.”

Just as I stepped onto the chair, a sharp pain shot through my chest.

A seizure.

It hurt.

That’s all I could think about.

Why does it hurt so much?

Far worse than usual.

Too much. It hurts so much.

It’s because there’s no pleasure.

Yesterday’s pain had turned to bliss, so now this agony felt sharper.

My eyes landed on the bottle of pills.

If I just took one… this pain would disappear.

Slowly, I reached for it.

The rope tightened around my neck, and I stepped off the chair.

Please, let me die quickly.

Save me from this wretched pain.

Not with pleasure, but with death.

Because this is the right choice.

“Urgh! Ugh…!”

I was definitely dying.

This wasn’t like the necktie. This rope wouldn’t break.

Unless a knight in shining armor appeared.

As the lack of oxygen brought on hallucinations, I saw Si woo’s face.

Smiling at me.

Worrying about me.

Waving at me.

I saw Kim Si woo.

Now…

I die.

Swish!

The rope snapped.

But I didn’t hit the ground.

I fell into warm arms, and a voice spoke.

“You mustn’t die, Hana.”

Through her glasses, I saw Kyunga’s tear-filled eyes looking down at me.