Chapter 180
What on earth was I doing in the past?
Looking at myself accompanying Adela in the guise of a mercenary made my head spin.
The image of Lucas floated in my mind as the tale of her late husband, who was also a mercenary, replayed.
‘No way… I couldn’t have acted so thoughtlessly.’
Still, I believe in myself.
Being born with the temperament of an engineer, it’s impossible for me to take impulsive actions beyond my predictions.
Thus, I began to trace back how I ended up accompanying Adela in the first place.
I started searching for the reasons that led to this incident by recalling my memories.
‘…I need to awaken all the children of the Grand Duke.’
And that first realization sparked my enlightenment.
I thought it was necessary to awaken the inherited powers of the reincarnators in the Grand Duke’s family, realizing that they were descendants of my companions.
From that point on, I began to design plans primarily focused on the children of the Grand Duke.
I structured it so that they would be able to stop their regression at the moment they exhibit their maximum power to confront the demons.
In doing so, I unknowingly started to assist the children of the Grand Duke.
When the young Irelya wandered in training, I motivated him by defeating him multiple times.
[You’re pitifully weak. Do you really think you can defeat me with that kind of swordsmanship?]
[Ugh!]
At that time, Irelya bore a striking resemblance to Enya.
He was an idler, oblivious to the need for training, intoxicated by his own talents.
In reality, his wandering across the Empire was more about playing around without worrying about his parents’ watchful eyes than for training.
Utilizing his handsome looks and the status of a duke, he made a name for himself as a dandy swordsman, charming one woman after another.
[You, a genius of the renowned swordsmanship clan Cruel, huh? Even a passing dog would laugh.]
So, I provoked him.
Time and again, I dealt him defeat, making him realize his own circumstances through frustrations.
As he encountered repeated defeats, Irelya began to grow serious.
[…I want to become strong. Please teach me a thing or two.]
The proud guy broke his pride and lowered his head.
So, I accepted him as my disciple and laid out the foundation for the swordsmanship he should pursue.
To him, whose mana capacity was mostly gathered in his brain, I opened the path of the Mana Swordsman.
Following the path I laid out for him, he dedicated himself to serious training, eventually becoming the strongest swordsman in the Empire.
[…I guess there’s no room for me to intervene with that guy.]
Having nurtured Irelya, I departed and sought out the Graham family.
I was searching for Adrian Graham, Isabella’s father.
However, there was nothing in the Graham family that I particularly had to coach.
Their way of gaining strength relied on their own denial, rotting their own hearts.
Leaving the Graham family behind, I headed towards the Bernhardt family.
However, the Bernhardt family also had their unique direction, which was “Aura and Buffs,” a method that didn’t suit me.
Thus, I went to meet Adela, who currently held Isabella’s position.
I planned to nurture her, renowned as the greatest genius in the Empire, to prepare against the invasion of demons.
[…She’s dead?]
However, when I sought her out, she was already gone.
She reportedly fell in battle against a monster wave while on a mission to suppress outlaws for the expansion of her family’s territory.
[No way. Adela is the key person here.]
It was a devastating blow.
To lose such a talented individual so futilely was a bitter loss.
Having repeated countless regressions over the past 40 years, I understood well how precious each talent was; thus, I decided to resurrect Adela.
I intended to regress to the past and eliminate the event leading to her death.
[Is it impossible to eliminate the event itself…?]
But I found it was impossible to erase the incident.
With no status or position, I could not stop Elmar’s territorial expansion plan, nor could I break Adela’s will to participate in that policy.
In the end, the only option left was for me to participate as a mercenary and protect Adela.
[I need to… erase my memories.]
However, at that time, I encountered a problem.
Having undergone too many regressions, distortions began appearing in both my mind and body.
And this was a wholly expected phenomenon.
Replaying for twenty years hundreds of times would naturally drive a person mad.
Moreover, in my case, living thousands of years with the burden of having to save the world led to such distortions in my mind and body being entirely justified.
[…If Alpha stores all memories and Beta, repeating regressions, has limited memories…]
So, I began sealing my memories.
I limited my recollections so that I could perform at my best while repeating regressions.
And this “memory-sealing regression” was first enacted in the “Adela Rescue Operation.”
To break through the monster wave and save her, I needed to maintain mental and emotional composure.
I set it up so that I would regress to the past with my memories sealed.
While giving myself the minimal objective of “participating in the Elmar family’s territorial expansion policy.”
“No way… I’m totally screwed.”
But they say the first time is always clumsy.
I committed a fatal mistake.
At the very least, I should have had some awareness of who I am and what my purpose is, but I failed to regulate the memory sealing and ended up regressing to the past completely forgetting all memories.
[Shit… Who was I again?]
Moreover, if I was to seal my memories, I should have sealed the emotions tied to those memories as well.
At that time, I was unaware, and I completely sealed my memories while leaving the emotions unchanged, sending a rage control disorder into the past with no recollections.
***
[What the hell are you talking about? Are you joking? Your name is right there on that mercenary badge.]
The mercenary next to me frowned and poked at the badge around my neck.
Eventually, I looked at the mercenary badge hanging on my neck, reading “Jack Dionel.”
[Jack Dionel… Is that my name?]
[…Are you insane? What’s with the sudden change? Have you lost it from the heat? Hahaha.]
A fellow mercenary chuckled and took a swig of rum.
However, the past me seemed unable to accept the situation, unexpectedly snatching the rum the fellow mercenary was drinking.
-Gulp… Gulp… Gulp…
And then I drank the liquor down coolly.
The fellow mercenary frowned and shoved me on the shoulder.
[Hey. Have you lost your mind? Did you go nuts? I brought you along when you asked to join the group, and you’re acting like you don’t know your place.]
However, it seemed like the past me was hoping for some confrontation.
I had no memories of the hundreds of regressions, but the anger and frustration stemming from those memories remained intact, so I needed someone to vent that emotion on.
[Then let’s throw down, you bastard.]
So, I got into it with the fellow mercenary.
The result was, of course, my overwhelming victory, but that fellow mercenary had his own group.
From the beginning, I was the newcomer in their group, so retaliation was inevitable.
[Hey. You guys, stand up quick. I’m still not done with my anger.]
But I crushed them in a 12 to 1 matchup.
They were quite a famed mercenary band, after all.
Originally, my past self was someone who would straight-up duel with the Lord of Hell, so they were no match for me.
[Wait… What’s up with these guys? What’s with their state…?]
At that moment, a servant from the Elmar family opened the mercenary waiting room and wore a look of shock.
Soon, we were about to set out with the contracted mercenaries, yet every member, including the mercenary leader, had been rendered incapable of fighting.
So, the servant hurriedly turned on his heel to report to the head of the Elmar family.
Before long, the head of the family, having heard the servant’s report, came to the mercenary waiting room.
He suddenly addressed me, who was sitting.
[…Was it you?]
[Yes.]
[Why?]
[Because I pissed them off.]
[…Do you have any idea how much this mercenary group received for today’s endeavor?]
[I do not.]
[…A whopping ten million Ordan. That’s an excessive amount for a single mercenary group to receive. But you’ve turned that ten million Ordan into pieces of paper. What do you think about that?]
[I think I should be thanked.]
[…Hahaha. Thank you to you?]
[Yes. You took care of a scammer who couldn’t even match the value of the money. Better to just give that money to me. I could make back several times that. These guys won’t stand a chance against me even if they swarm together.]
With my words, the head of the Elmar family burst into laughter.
He liked my ambition and confidence, offering me twenty million Ordan.
[We need to switch things up. I can’t have a talent like you relegated to being a scout. Let’s have you guard my daughter. If my daughter takes a liking to you, I’ll consider hiring you as a knight of our family. How does that sound?]
[Well, let’s do it that way.]
An audacious proposal to offer a duke’s knight position to a mere mercenary.
Yet, having lost my memories, I remained unfazed by such a suggestion.
It was a “If it works out, great; if not, whatever” attitude.
[Adela. From now on, this person will be your guard. He seems quite capable, so trust and utilize him well.]
Thus, the head of the Elmar family introduced me to Adela.
Eighteen-year-old blossoming Adela, sitting in the carriage, looked down at me with a haughty expression.
She frowned and spoke up.
[He’s a mercenary, isn’t he? Why attach such a lowly thing to me?]
…A stark contrast to her current demeanor.
Back then, Adela was a typical noble lady, strict and domineering.
Adela’s father chuckled awkwardly, trying to ease the tension.
[Haha… Don’t act like that, just give him a try. I quite like his forthright personality.]
Adela shot me a disdainful glance, clearly not inclined to accept.
Then, staring at my face, she tossed out her next remark casually.
“Well, I guess your face is tolerable enough.”
“………”
“Hey.”
Then, giggling like it was a joke, she called out to me.
Looking at her, I twitched my lips slightly.
“Give us a show of your skills. If I like it, I might keep you around.”
“………”
Adela was asking me to show off.
In other words, telling me to crawl until she liked me.
She intended to humiliate me until I fell flat.
But at the core of my subconscious was a purpose: ‘I must save Adela,’ so I didn’t get angry at her attitude of wanting to humiliate me.
Instead, I poured my heart into conveying my resolve.
[Even if I were to lose my life protecting you, I will definitely keep you safe. I swear it to the Heavenly Beings.]
“………”
At that, Adela looked at me with a slightly flushed face.
Then she mumbled “Do as you wish” while closing the window of the carriage.
She then complained how there was a stench of blood, urging me to wash thoroughly to avoid any smell.
Despite her attitude, she effectively accepted me as her guard.
[…Thank you for allowing me to protect you.]
I sincerely expressed my gratitude.
Though I held no memories, the compulsion to achieve my goal was abundant; saving Adela was my utmost priority.
Soon, I heard Adela snicker from inside the carriage.
[Hmph.]