I Became a Fake Priest the Saintess Is Obsessed With

0 – Prologue: The Easiest Way to Make Money in the World

What is the easiest job to make money?

I can say with certainty that the answer is a quack doctor.

If you claim that a non-existent illness exists, people will be fooled.

If you pretend to give treatment that may or may not work, they gratefully hand over money.

‘How creatively deceptive this money-making is’

Just a few words and money flows in.

I’ve had no particular talent, being known among my peers for my chattering, I felt being a quack was my true calling. And so, I did it until the day I died.

Though bad rumors about me circulated … who cares?

In this materialistic world, money can erase any rumors.

A guilty conscience? Bullsh*t! Money is more important than conscience to survive in this world!

So, I have no regrets about being a quack until I died.

However … NEVER did I dream that I would regret it after death.

“You’ve clearly led a good life… But what about this enormous number of lies and cheats?”

In a bright white room, there was a scale for weighing the weight of sins and a hammer for judgment.

Though I had believed that there is nothing beyond death, there certainly was an afterlife.

And with quite a fair deity.

“I just did some business, dear deity. Business is actually a battlefield where lies and fraud occur every now and then.”

“Usually, people don’t refer to a quack as business, my child…”

Currently, I am dead and under judgment by the deity, deciding whether I will go to hell or heaven.

Even in my opinion, I deserve to go to hell, but the deity seems to be in a quandary about my fate because I lived politely and donated often.

“A quack, you say? I never once approached anyone who was really sick. I just went up to people who thought they were sick and encouraged them to overcome their mock illnesses.”

“So what I did… yes, it’s something like psychological therapy.”

Hell.

Isn’t it scary just hearing the name? I have no intention of struggling to get into that place.

The deity, reading my sin-ridden parchment, seems to have an elongated worry, and I, who doesn’t want to go to hell after death, have been pleading for hours.

“Hmm… I guess that’s also a fair point…”

Fortunately, the deity was showing signs of being persuaded by my words.

If I keep convincing like this, I might go to heaven.

I wonder does the concept of currency exist in heaven?

“If there’s anything like money, I wish I could scam even there.

How enjoyable it is to steal someone’s money, how can I resist it?

“……Reading your thoughts, it seems you’re not someone who would go to heaven.”

Ah, that’s right. The goddess can read minds, can’t she?

“hahahaha… It was just an idea I toyed with. Anyway, you’re sending me to heaven, right?”

“I’ve made a decision just now. You will not be going to heaven.”

“What? You’re sending me to hell, even considering all my upright and good behavior!”

“No, you won’t be sent to hell either.”

“……So what do you mean by ‘decision’?”

The goddess, who had been wearing an expression of difficulty, then broke into a grin.

Her radiant smile is truly beautiful, but for some reason, it frightens me.

“You will now live a new life as a priest in a different world. You will come to learn how difficult it truly is to heal the sick.”

As the goddess speaks, a white light pours out from beneath my feet.

I’ve seen this before.

This is the magic circle that transports you to another world…!

“Wait, goddess! I’m sorry! I really am! I won’t scam again, so give me a second chance!”

Feeling terrified of the unknown world, I kneeled and begged to the goddess.

But the goddess just waved from afar.

“Farewell, little sheep. I hope you have a change of heart in the other world.”

The light envelops me.

The warmth and softness feel like returning to my mother’s embrace.

“I hope to see your smiling face the next time we meet…”

Listening to the goddess’s last words, I am completely engulfed by the light.