I am Peter Parker

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***

When she finally pulled Parker away from Sabretooth's grasp, Gabriela's face turned from anger to fright when she saw the white eyes and open mouth with the young man's tongue hanging out.

Without a second's hesitation, the younger Osborn immediately realised what she had to do - mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Had she checked the necessity of this selfless act, or was it obvious from a mere glance? It was the little things, the important thing was that she understood the necessity.

Sighing, blushing and pursing her lips, Gabby took a full chest of fresh air and spread a slippery smile before passing on, just like the first aid textbook said, but....

- God, I'm sorry, Haa... Hoooo... Sorry... Haaa...

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! - Sabretooth suddenly came to her senses and seized the moment, taking possession of the guy's lips, unlike Gabriela, her motives were definitely not so pure!

- Haa... Huuu... Ha-Ai?!!! - Saving Peter from his disapproving kisses, Gabriela began pulling Sabretooth back by the hair.

- Get off him, you mutt!!! You grow giant tits and you think you can do anything?!!!! - In response to the attack, Sabretooth tried to get up sharply, which she did....

- Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!!! - but the brunette was on her shoulders and with even more gusto continued to pull and tear the rapist's head hair.

- How dare you lay hands on my almost husband and almost father of our seventeen children, you devil?!!!!

- What kind of heroic mother are you?! And what do you mean, "almost"?!! Ouch!

.....

After calming down, Gabriela was handed the right to perform an air infiltration into Peter's lungs. Sabretooth, on the other hand, sat by the fence, stroking her mangled scalp.

- Hoo. Haaaa... Hoooo. Haaah.

- Um, I don't want to provoke another seizure, but you should be breathing into his mouth, not standing over him with a flushed face and drooling....

- I know without you, you rapist! - wiping her mouth, Gaby angrily threw it back at her. Then, with a sinking heart, she began to move closer to Peter, slowly bringing her lips to his, getting thicker and thicker.

- You do know that mouth-to-mouth resuscitation doesn't count as a kiss, right?

- Yes, it does!

- Nope. A kiss is love, passion, two people caring for each other, responding to each other's heart.

- Unexpectedly romantic for someone like you...

- What the hell is that supposed to mean?

- Don't you get it, you bush rapist?!

While the girls screamed and argued, exchanged insults and glared at each other, Parker....

- ...And what the hell? - resurrected.

**Same time. Inside Parker's house. Mystique.

- Don't be afraid of anything Peter, please trust me and tell me what's happening to you! - Mary Jane put her arm around my shoulders as I held her and looked on with burning determination and concern.

What was I going to tell her? How do I distract her from what's going on outside the window..... I don't really know what's going on out there, but it's the real Peter, and I'm in his guise now, so it's a distraction. But I can't understand their relationship, are they just neighbours, friends, lovers? I thought it was the latter, but I think I was wrong....

- Peter? - Shit, she's starting to lose confidence and her eyes are starting to dart round.

- Erm... Jay! - I grabbed her face as her gaze fell behind my back. - We've been more than just... Neighbours, have we?

- I guess. - Great, she looked down at the floor, that's right girl, admire the parquet I washed today! Admire your reflection in it!

- There's a lot of things we have in common... - she shifted her gaze back to me, her eyebrow raised in doubt. - For some, but for me it's a lot!

- Peter what are you getting at... - Mary Jane slowly shifted her gaze behind me, reacting to the noise and shouting outside.

Time slowed down...

Pyro, who had been hiding behind the sofa all this time, snored....

I decided to both leave her without dinner tonight and go for the latter distraction option....

May Parker forgive me.

- Peter, you've got a yard--

**Peter. Backyard.

When I came back from the other side of the world, I found myself lying on the grass while two girls argued over me. The saber-toothed one was shouting with a beastly grin, shaking her watermelons of death at me. In return, she received sarcastic insults from her once friendly neighbour, who, to the glory of divine providence, was not dangerous from that point of view.

Whoa!

I recognise that flat as a board chest that you could smash your head against!

She's not my neighbour, she's Gabriela Osborne, Pennine's friend, whom Pennine insistently asked me to marry!

But what's she doing here? Why did she come to me last time with money? Did she--

She's already a green goblin and she wanted to get to the socially lost Penny through me? Oh, Penny-Penny, she can't choose her suitors or her mates.

Well, while the two supervillains scandal, the only right decision will be to get away under the noise in the house, where-here, and there I'm not waiting for a bloody massacre or other confusion ...

.....

- You did it. - I exhaled as I closed the front door behind me.

Feeling my mouth dry after leaving the villains and choking, I headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. On the way I was distracted by Pyro sleeping naked on the floor behind the couch, but without giving it much thought I went towards my goal as....

- Ow! - the bathroom door opened abruptly in front of me.

- P-Peter?! - My eyes widened at the unreasonable expectation of seeing Mystique.

- M.J.? - My roommate was as red as a tomato for some reason and looked at me with eyes glistening after the splash of water. - What are you tuh-Mnmmm?

- Mnmmm! - suddenly, for no reason at all, she kissed me.

- Mnmmm... - which I could not complain about, for it felt good to kiss and I doubt I would catch a disease from her.

- Mm-hmm. I-I-I agree! - With a barely audible sentence, my near childhood friend ran outside, leaving me with a lot of questions, a desire for a drink, and a sore nose from hitting the door.

The questions can be answered any time, the pain will pass, but the thirst can't wait.

.....

Enjoying a glass of cool water, the thought came to me that Mystique might be involved in MJ's strange behaviour. Who I never saw today.

- M.J.? - I went into the living room to put a mat on Pyro, and was suddenly greeted by my runaway neighbour.

-P-p-p-peter! - Surprising me even more, she grabbed my face. - We were for a long time not just... Neighbours, huh?

- Weren't we? - we were friends, sure, but not close, I'd even say they were friends with Penny, when I was just for the campaign.

Going off topic a bit, in addition to clarifying the situation, I have to wonder what product Mystique uses to clean her floors, the parquet is so shiny I can see my reflection in it.

- There are and have been many things that bind us together. - like what, for instance? - For some people, but for me, a lot!

- Even subjectively, what exactly? - Mary Jane bit her lip like a misguided kindergartner.

Time moved as usual. In my heart of hearts, I don't know why I clarified that....

Pyro kept snoring behind the sofa....

She's not gonna catch pneumonia, is she?

And why is MJ so red in the face?

- Mnh-mnh! - I think I'm picking up a pattern. - I've liked you for a long time. Let's go out.

- Э?..

- Also, let's never discuss how we started dating, especially who proposed to who first.

- Don't tell me that-- Did it really work with Mary Jane, Mystique?

- Э?! How do you know-I mean, I don't even know who you're talking about! I'm Mary Jane, your neighbour and possible girlfriend!

- Actually, no, you're Pyro. - Mystique changed her appearance out of fright.

- That doesn't prove anything! It's just that I've been hiding my shape-shifting abilities from you, that's all.

- Mary Jane's breath smells different.

- Don't be ridiculous! My breath doesn't smell at all, here! - Mystique as Pyro took a step forward, opened her mouth, stood up, stood on her toes, and began furiously breathing into my nose with a slight smear of my toothpaste. - Haa! Haaah! Huh?! Mnmmm!..

- Mnhmmm... - well. kissing is nice, but not when someone else's teeth are digging into yours.

At one point I realised something was missing. Firstly, Pyro's snoring, which made for an entertaining accompaniment. Secondly, the noise of the argument outside, which could only mean one thing.....

*The slamming of the door made Peter afraid to go out the door *

- Mystique, trouble! - Sabretooth was the first to run in, red-faced and dishevelled.

- Peter has disappeared!!! - Osbourne's hair also stood out as if she had survived that other rodeo.

Despite such a loud appearance, silence hung in the wake. Sabretooth and Osborne stared at us, silently mouthing the words in their mouths. Mystique, in the form of Pyro, still had her lips on mine, giving the guests a wide-eyed stare.

- Haa... - sighed heavily into Mystique's mouth.

- Eek!... - she hiccupped, then pulled away from me as she came to her senses. - I-I-I-I can explain everything...

- Pyro, what are you doing?! This is sexual harassment! - screamed the killer.

- Peter, there's no time to explain, lie down on the floor and get CPR! - Thank God, the neighbour's words killed the conflict in its infancy, causing everyone to fall silent and stare in the same direction again. - Hurry up!!!

**Silver**

Returning home from yet another arduous mission, which I successfully completed as befitting a professional of the highest rank, all my thoughts were dulled, being superseded by my feelings.

- Honey, I'm home! - I shouted from the threshold, feeling a smile on my lips.

- Sweetheart? You're back? - shouted my husband from the kitchen. - I have a surprise for you...

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I took off my coat and walked along the house, enjoying that rhythmic romantic music my husband had put on.

- Wow... - In the dining room, I walked past a sumptuous table with homemade food and candles. - Wow...

To see my lover in the kitchen, wearing only a pale pink apron and bunny ears on his head, licking cream off a spoon.

- Now, shall I treat you to the cream I've made or- - the apron fell to the floor after one deft movement. - Totally personal?

He came right up to me and wrapped his strong, pumped arms around my shoulders to kiss me passionately in a single thrust.

- Haa... - It took me a moment to catch my breath after the kiss, and we stood frozen for a few seconds in reverent contemplation of each other. - Peter... - I whispered languidly.

- Silver... - my husband replied languidly.

- Peter... - I whispered languidly.

- Silver... - languidly replied my husband.

- Peter. - I whispered languidly.

- Homeless... - languidly replied my husband.

- Pete-wait, what?

- Bomjara... Bomjara. Bomjara! - his voice became rhythmic and loud. - Silver bastard!!!

The sharp cry made my eyes darken for a second, and when my vision returned to normal, my surroundings were transformed beyond recognition.... In front of me was a hospital room. I myself was lying on a bed, which directly said that everything I had seen was a dream.....

- ...You should have known. - Without emotion, I stared out the window at a billboard with a social advert for the homeless... which made me sad on several levels.