Chapter 175.1
For a while, he was determined to kill that child.
It wasn’t hard to learn that the child had become a princess of the Duke’s family. The entire nobility was buzzing about the Duke’s actions.
He continued to gather information about Lee. And then he found out she had enrolled in a school for nobles.
To be honest, until then, his resolve to kill her was still strong. The pain was just too much.
His loneliness grew, festering like a disease.
His heart felt stifled, and there was a void inside.
He had been living his whole life somewhere between depression and another unnamed affliction.
Now, Cedric had become adept at hiding his true feelings behind a handsome face.
For the first time, he attended a class with her.
When they met again, she seemed like a different person. Her hands, feet, and face were clean. Her hair shimmered.
He knew she was beautiful since the days they played beneath the bridge, but now she seemed like someone of a different lineage.
‘Unrecognizable. Your name isn’t Lee now, but Leticia? The Duke chose a good name.’
Cedric blatantly observed her.
She seemed to enjoy the lessons, full of vitality.
‘I’ll deal with this later.’
For now, being by her side made life bearable. For now, he felt like he could breathe.
Being near her gave Cedric peace. It wasn’t that he loved her. It was a longing that felt unreachable.
‘I want to stop now.’
Even with these thoughts, he constantly anticipated the next moment they’d meet.
Even when he was on top of her under the camellia tree. Even when pink camellia petals fell on her strawberry-blond hair.
He missed her, but he never loved her.
But that denial didn’t last long. When did he fall for her? Right, when they resolved the kidnapping of Lavigne.
He watched her solve the case with Ileph.
‘Ah, it’s dangerous.’
Cedric licked his lips.
‘You shine brighter and are more beautiful than I thought.’
He bit his lip.
Why was his imprint so radiant and perfect?
Why was she becoming more irresistible?
Why did she feel like someone worth giving everything up for with just a little attention?
‘Why don’t you remember me…’
Everything felt incredibly unfair, yet at the same time, incredibly joyful.
He admitted it. Meeting her again made every day joyful.
When she was in danger, when he found her being kidnapped, he chased after her without hesitation.
The day he almost became a sacrifice among those using the red trumpet flower drug. The day she entrusted her trembling body to him, tied to a post. The day he saw her, blinded, crouching like a rabbit.
“I’m scared.”
“…”
“I can’t see, Cedric…”
“It’s okay. I’m here.”
He reflected on that moment over and over.
Why did he mess up his life? He should’ve stuck to his monster roots and not tried to save her, right? Why did he rescue that dying street girl? Turning his life into a hell without an imprinter?
‘Was I doomed to depression all along?’
He pondered daily.
But seeing her frail, trembling figure, seeing her collapse under the moonlight, he realized.
‘If I hadn’t marked her, if Leticia was ever in danger, I’d give her the gem of my heart again.’
He realized.
The girl who was vomiting blood, dying.
The girl who smiled under the bridge.
The bread she secretly gave him.
That was the first kindness Cedric had known.
It wasn’t lust, but that kindness was affection, and it was the first love he ever felt.
‘I think I might’ve fallen in love with her.’
His mother had said:
<…>
Cedric thought.
Mother, I can’t follow your advice. I think I’m a foolish son.
‘Who should I kill?’
Lee. No, now she’s Leticia.
Even if she doesn’t choose me, even if she abandons me, I’ll forever hover unhappily by her side.
Perhaps that’s just my fate. Maybe that’s why the imprint is called destiny.
Cedric chuckled at the thought.
Just maybe, in this lifetime, I seem to live in the hell called this woman.
But it must be crazy. It feels sweet. It’s that son of a bitch. That’s what Cedric thought.
‘I really love this woman.’
Even memories of his mother seem to be beautified.
Cedric just laughed. Leticia was within his reach.
He found it amusing to feel happy just from that.