Honkai, why do you only throw me into high-level battles?

From this point on, the memories were no longer divided into cold and warm. They intertwined, swirling around young Lin Wei, leaving him lost, vulnerable, and cautious.

Lin Wei led the Herrscher through this turbulent landscape, initially silent, his steps heavy, as if burdened by the weight of his past.

Then, he chuckled, seemingly having digested, or perhaps accepted, the burden.

"This is where everything changed."

"She slit her wrists. A lot of blood, but it clotted quickly. Then she made me buy her medicine… tsk, a leech, latching onto anyone she could."

"Oh, I was her only child. Never mind then."

He dissected his soul for the Herrscher, exposing his ugliest, most vulnerable side, his voice laced with self-deprecating mockery.

"I still visited my grandparents every weekend, but things were different."

He gestured at the flickering memories.

"They started calling me a 'demon child,' a 'curse.' I didn't even understand what was happening. The people were the same, the house was the same, but the world had changed."

"They still said they loved me, but it was all so… ironic…"

His smile turned cold, his eyes narrowed. He took a deep breath.

"And then… this."

"Six months later, a sunny summer afternoon. It was a weekend. I was playing at a neighbor's house."

Shouting from outside, then chaos, a crowd of people. Little Lin Wei recognized the voices. He put down his toys and went to investigate.

The familiar courtyard, where he'd spent his childhood.

The familiar faces, the adults who had always been there.

But this… this was a nightmare.

His grandparents and an uncle held his father down, pinning him to the ground. His grandmother's hands were covered in white lime powder.

Another uncle held a knife, stabbing his father repeatedly.

The world shattered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Rin, do you see? This is the greatest joke of all!"

"The mother who gave birth to you, who raised you, asks you to hand her the weapon she'll use to kill herself, without a thought for the consequences…"

"And the people who claimed to love you, your family, they kill your last remaining parent right in front of you!"

"They don't care about you. Not one of them!"

"Family? Love? It's all bullshit! A lie! You're a fool, played for a fool!"

"And then they discard you like trash, leaving you to die!"

Lin Wei laughed maniacally, a deranged clown putting on a show.

He waved his arm, and the sunny afternoon turned into a dimly lit hospital corridor. Little Lin Wei huddled in a corner, staring at the closed doors of the operating room.

He was still in shock, clutching a pencil sharpener, ready to stab anyone who touched him.

No one did.

Lin Wei's laughter grew louder, more despairing.

"And then?" the Herrscher asked.

"And then? My father survived. I didn't lose my last parent. Isn't it absurd? The person you hated the most, the person you wanted to escape from, becomes your only support. And the people who claimed to love you become your worst enemies."

His voice was a murmur, his eyes fixed on the operating room doors as they swung open. The little boy in the memory scrambled to his feet, awaiting his fate.

The Herrscher saw goosebumps rise on Lin Wei's arms, his breath quickening.

This was his memory, his past, his unbearable truth.

Little Lin Wei watched as his father was wheeled into intensive care, then collapsed, sobbing.

Lin Wei sighed, his voice weary.

"And so, I had a reason to live… How ironic, a nine-year-old contemplating life and death."

"And then?" the Herrscher pressed.

"Then… life was… relatively calm. My father was still abusive, but at least I had a place to stay."

His voice remained tired, as if he'd lived a lifetime.

"So I endured. I grew up. I fought to stay sane. I told myself it would get better, that I would grow up. And I waited. I always thought that when I was older, I would confront them, demand answers, make them pay for what they did!"

"I hated them as much as I once loved them!"

He chuckled, covering his eyes with one hand, as if wiping away tears, or perhaps shielding himself from the next memory. He waved his other hand dismissively, conjuring the next scene.

Lin Wei, older now, almost his current age, but with a lingering youthful innocence.

"Ten years passed. I was nineteen."

He encountered his grandfather, a frail, old man shuffling down the street.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lin Wei burst into laughter, doubling over.

"See? The world is so unfair!"

"Time, age… it's all so unfair!"

"Fate is so unfair!"

"It favors the wicked, mocking the victims!"

"When the weak child finally grows up, strong enough to seek revenge, to demand justice…"

"They simply grow old, making all your efforts, all your perseverance, a joke…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He unleashed the demon within, his human face contorted with malice and hatred, his laughter a deranged question.

"See? This is how fucked up the world is! It lets fate humiliate you, break you, torment you, haunt your dreams!"

"And when you finally have the power to reclaim your dignity, it mocks you, tells you it's all in the past, that you should move on, that your struggle was meaningless!"

"It makes the victims stronger, but it also makes the villains old! It lets them escape their punishment!"

"This is the world's most malicious curse!"

"It's so absurd! Now I'm the strong one, they're frail old people. If I retaliate, I become the bully, the monster they were!"

"I refuse to become them. So, I have to let go."

"But…"

"Why?! WHY?! WHY?!"

His eyes were bloodshot, his voice a scream, his body shaking with rage, his aura so dark that even the Herrscher took a step back.

The scene reversed, returning to the sunny afternoon, the moment his world shattered.

Lin Wei rushed into the memory, grabbed an axe from behind the door, and charged into the crowd, his laughter echoing.

He swung the axe again and again, blood splattering everywhere, his laughter fueled by vengeance, his humanity lost to the demon within.

The memory shattered, consumed by his rage. Lin Wei stood panting, leaning on the spear.

He looked down at himself, the blood and gore vanishing as if they'd never been there. He chuckled, the laughter of a man who'd finally had his revenge.

He turned to the Herrscher, a smile on his face. "To cast aside morality and humanity, to unleash your inner demon… it's exhilarating. Rin, I understand you now more than ever."

His voice was gentle again, as if they'd never entered this world of memories.

"...You truly are a demon."

The Herrscher couldn't stand him.

"Hahaha, you wound me. I never claimed to be a good person."

Lin Wei smiled, a demonic smile that made the Herrscher recoil.

He's more suited to be a Herrscher than I am, she thought with a shudder.

But something was missing.

"What happened next?" she asked.

He was a demon trapped in hell, yet he still lived in the sunlight, still clung to life. Why?

"Because… the world isn't entirely bad…"

Lin Wei smiled wryly, then walked towards the deepest part of his memory.

The Herrscher's heart quickened. She followed closely.

The deeper they went, the darker it became. But at the very end, a single light shone in the darkness.

"This is it."

Lin Wei murmured, wiping his hands on his clothes, then reaching for the light.

The scene shifted. A hospital entrance.

Little Lin Wei stood beside his father, who lay on a stretcher, watching as a doctor and his father's boss argued.

"There's nothing we can do. The wound reached his heart. It's too severe."

The doctor had given up.

The boss pleaded with him, but the doctor grew impatient.

"Get his family. I'll talk to them."

The boss pulled little Lin Wei forward.

"He only has this child left. This is his only family. He's still young. I'm his supervisor. You can talk to me."

The doctor looked at the timid little boy, hesitated, then sighed, patted his head, and said,

"Bring him in. We'll do our best."

…

Lin Wei watched silently, then chuckled as the scene ended.

A soft chuckle, almost a sob, but his face was lit up with genuine joy.

"See? The world is absurd, but it's not entirely bad, is it?"

"Someone's kindness gave me a chance to live. How could I become a demon after that?"

He cradled the light, as if it were the most precious treasure in the world.

"There are many reasons to give up on this world, but you only need one reason to keep going…"

"Because it's beautiful."

He held the light to his chest, merging with it.

The darkness receded, replaced by new memories.

His father kneeling before him, weeping, outside his mother's hospital room.

His father burning his diary after her death, then making dinner.

The same operating room, his father fighting for his life after severe blood loss.

His father's colleagues, his uncles, visiting him, the lonely child.

"See? Even when the world abandoned me, there were still people who didn't give up on me."

Lin Wei returned from the depths of his memory, revisiting his past.

The same memories, but from a different perspective.

His grandmother, blind from grief after losing her daughter. His grandfather, staring blankly at the TV.

His uncles, imprisoned, their futures bleak.

"In the end, we're all victims of this world."

"I hate this world, because it's so ugly. But I can't let go, because there are things worth fighting for."

"This is my answer. I won't give up. I want to see if this world can become a little more beautiful."

"So I will live. I will live and laugh. This is my defiance!"

"No one can defeat me. Not fate, not God, not the Honkai, and not you, Herrscher!"

His voice hardened.

This was the first time he'd called her "Herrscher." It sent a chill down her spine.

"Ah, sorry, I got carried away." He apologized, noticing her reaction.

"As an apology, and a parting gift, let me give you something, Rin."

The Herrscher was confused. A gift? In the mindscape?

Lin Wei didn't explain. He smiled, took her hand, and placed the golden spear, the one he'd been clutching this whole time, into her hand.

The spear, usually cold, felt warm and comforting.

The Herrscher looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

"I took this from Yae Sakura. It's called 'Hope.'"

"Hold onto it. Don't lose it…"

The word "Hope" resonated within her. She gripped the spear tightly.

"Alright, my gift is given. Now, I want to rest. Do what you need to do, Rin…"

"What do you mean?"

She was still processing the word "Hope," her voice confused.

"I'm lending you my body. I need to sleep. This journey has been… tiring…"

"Return it when you're done."

"I hope that when I wake up, both of us will have a new beginning."

Lin Wei chuckled, pushing her gently.

He spread his arms, as if embracing the world, and fell back into the endless ocean of memories, disappearing beneath the waves.

"Hey! You…"

The Herrscher reached for him, but he was gone. She stomped her foot, then looked at the spear, tightening her grip.

"Trusting a Herrscher… Lin Wei, don't regret this!"

She turned and left. Darkness enveloped her, and she returned to her body.

She opened her eyes and saw Fu Hua staring at her anxiously, as if waiting for someone to return.

The Herrscher sneered inwardly, resenting both Fu Hua and the man who'd made this decision.

An idea sparked in her mind. She would have some fun.

She put on Lin Wei's earnest expression.

"I succeeded, Fu Hua."

-----

Alright, yapping battle over! Well, that's it for today's chapter!

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