Honkai Impact 3rd: Catching the Herrscher of Sentience at the Start

"Audience members, please raise your hand if you don't agree with the title 'Welt Yang, the Sit-up King,'" the host, Fu Lin, announced.

Everyone: "..." He died multiple times, yet he's still alive in the end. This is just too much.

Welt Yang: "...I don't agree!"

"Your vote doesn't count. Congratulations to Welt Yang for officially receiving the title 'Welt the Sit-up King.' Let's give him a big round of applause!" Fu Lin used his authority to assign the exclusive title to Welt.

-------------------------

[Sit-up King]Welt Yang, <...>

A purple title appears above Welt's name, flashing and standing out from the crowd.

"Next, congratulations to Fu Hua for receiving the title of 'Shenzhou Tablet'!"

[Shenzhou Tablet]Fu Hua: <...> 'I knew I couldn't escape this…'

"And finally, congratulations to Bishop Otto for earning the title 'Miss Lily'!"

[Miss Lily]Otto:

"We think it is absolutely necessary," Fu Lin and the Herrscher of Sentience said in unison, with hands on their hips.

At this moment, Otto, Fu Hua, and Welt seem to be looking at each other across the screen, confirming, "We are all in the same boat…"

"As compensation for appearing on screen, we present Ms. Fu Hua with a Parenting Guide!"

Fu Lin sternly stated "I emphasize, please read it carefully, it will greatly help your future."

Herrscher of Sentience 'What do you mean by that...'

"We present Mr. Yang with a gym membership card."

Fu Hua and Yang: ...

Otto:

Fu Lin: "...We present Otto with a nun's habit!"

[A black nun's habit.jpg]

Otto slapped his own face, shedding tears of regret, "Why did I speak out, why did I speak out!"

"Time flies, and that's a wrap for this live stream. Thank you to all our viewers, see you next time~"

Kiana asks:

Hearing Kiana's question, Fu Lin and the Herrscher of Sentience exchange a glance, understanding each other immediately.

"The next stream will be in three days unless something unexpected happens, then it might be delayed!" they say in unison.

Everyone, <...>

"If there's nothing else, we're logging off. See you next time."

Fu Lin snaped his fingers, and the stream went black, with a small line of text in the center of the screen: End of Live Stream.

"Fu Lin, what do you think Theresa and the others will get from the boxes?" the Herrscher of Sentience curiously asked.

"Hmm, Kiana will definitely get something good, but as for Theresa… I'm not sure."

"Whatever, it's not our concern anyway. Let's see how many stream points we made this time!" The Herrscher of Sentience patted on Fu Lin's back with anticipation.

"Hey~" Fu Lin skillfully opened the system screen and, seeing the information displayed, burst into a fit of rage, cursing the system's ancestors with every profanity he could remember.

[End of Stream: Congratulations! You've earned 18,435 points, rounded down for convenience, totaling 18,000 points.]

"I ****** you ******, you ****** me ******!" (◣д◢) Fu Lin looked at the system's "rounding down," feeling utterly scammed.

(A para with 10,000 words omitted here)

Ten minutes later...

"Here, drink this water and continue cursing," the Herrscher of Sentience handed a water glass to Fu Lin.

Fu Lin took the glass, staring blankly at the Herrscher of Sentience, momentarily at a loss for words.

He then noticed the words on the screen's upper left corner.

[Customer Service Complaint]

"Oh! There's even a complaint option, how considerate~" Fu Lin said and clicked the complaint button, hoping to get the deducted points back.

[Beep beep beep beep~]

[Beep beep beep beep beep~]

[Hi, this is your dedicated system customer service, how can I assist you?]

"I want to file a complaint! Your system deducted the stream points I worked hard for!"

[For such matters, please contact your own system consciousness. There's no need to call customer service, dear~]

"You mean the system consciousness that left when we met for the first time, just to binge-watch dramas?" Fu Lin asked cautiously.

[...]

[Alright, please hold on, I'll check the backend for you…]

[...]

[Dear, I can't find any records of point deductions.]

Fu Lin sends the earlier message to customer service, but it's all in vain.

[Dear, I've received your message. So what's the problem!? This is a user-friendly feature set by the system's manufacturer, rounding numbers based on standard practice (?w?)]

"...Then I request to disable this feature," Fu Lin says, speechless. Is this somehow his fault?

[Dear, your request has been received, but it's been noted only verbally... beep beep~]

[Was this customer service experience satisfactory? Please leave a 5-star review, thank you~]

[Thank you for your 5-star review.]

"I'll give you a **************! What kind of scammy manufacturer designed this system?" Fu Lin angrily tapped on a 1-star rating, but it automatically turned into a 5-star rating, leaving him truly stunned.

"Come on, come on, don't get hung up on those few stream points!" The Herrscher of Sentience clenches her fists and breaks the stone encasing Fu Lin, trying to comfort him.

"...," Fu Lin holds his forehead. What kind of people are these? It seems he's corrupted the Herrscher of Sentience too. Definitely shouldn't let a one-year-old access the internet.

...

Meanwhile, Kiana and the others...

"I can't wait any longer!" Kiana placed the two Homu Boxes in front of everyone, one for Theresa and one for herself.

"Aunt, are you going first or should I?" Kiana asked confidently, feeling unbeatable in a luck contest.

"Of course I'm going first." Theresa crossed her arms and went up to the Homu Box.

Closing her eyes, she silently prayed before reaching out to open the box. Suddenly, a blinding light erupted, forcing everyone to cover their eyes.

As the light faded, everyone peered into the box, only to find… nothing at all.

"Aunt, did you really get nothing?" Kiana and Theresa stare at each other wide-eyed.

"That's impossible… Could my luck really be this bad?" Theresa stared at the box in disbelief, feeling devastated.

"No, something did come out." Bronya handed out several magnifying glasses.

Everyone peered through the magnifying glasses and saw a tiny, ant-sized, reddish-brown pill inside the box, starkly contrasting with its size.

"..."

Nobody knew what to say.

Theresa pinched the tiny pill with her fingernails, and its function appeared before everyone.

[Height Increase Pill: Increases height by 1 cm upon use.]

"Hahaha, Aunt, this pill is perfect for you~" Kiana laughed out loud, holding her stomach.

".....Um~" Himeko and Mei cover their mouths with one hand, pinching their thighs with the other to hold back their laughter.

Bronya and Fu Hua glance at the gloomy-faced Theresa, praying that Kiana can leave the room unscathed.

"What are you laughing at, Kiana~?" Theresa stepped up to Kiana, smiling sweetly.

If you didn't listen carefully, you wouldn't know she's angry—truly Otto's granddaughter.

"Hahaha… ha… Aunt?!"

Kiana looks around for help, but Himeko and the others pretend not to notice.

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Bonus Short Scene:

Knock knock knock! Knock knock knock!

System Consciousness [Fu Lin's System], engrossed in watching dramas: Who is it?!

Management: It's the water meter checker.

System Consciousness: We don't have a water meter. Don't interrupt my show.

Bang! (Door forcibly opened)

Management: Due to a report from customer service, you are suspected of slacking off during work. You'll be sent to the 'Black Room' for re-education.

System Consciousness: Nooo, nooo!

Ten system years later...

System Consciousness: I've fully realized my mistakes. I will become a proper system and lead my host to great success!

Management: Very good! You may leave, but remember, don't catch the Barbatos virus again.

System Consciousness: Understood! Ehehe~

The management exchange a glance: Lock it back up for further reform!