Chapter 41: A Godfather's Oath
Harry seemed more hesitant to talk now, and Sirius felt terrible. Once again, he had let his temper get the better of him. He tried to stay calm as Harry described the events of his second year, starting with the arrival of Dobby. It was obvious that Harry did not want to tell the man about the house-elf and how he'd been horribly abused and mistreated by the Malfoys; the expression on his face said all too clearly that he was not trying to compare Sirius's treatment of Kreacher with Lucius's treatment of Dobby, but Sirius now understood Harry's reaction yesterday, and once more, he vowed he wouldn't lose his temper at the elf again.
By the time Harry finished the recitation of his second year, Sirius was literally about to explode. He took a few deep, shuddering breaths before he said anything to Harry, afraid he would shout the house down and scare the living daylights out of the poor child.
It was Harry, though, who spoke first. "Sirius?" he said timidly, putting a hand on his godfather's shoulder. He grew deeply concerned when he realized the man was shaking. "Sirius, what's wrong?" he called to him; Sirius seemed to have lost himself, immersed within his own world.
Slowly, Sirius looked at Harry, his gray eyes holding a well of so much emotion that it caused a lump to develop in Harry's throat. "Oh, God," he choked out, his face white. "What the hell has happened to this world since I've been gone? A mere twelve-year-old boy has to face a full-grown basilisk, and the memory of a sixteen-year-old Dark Lord? A boy is bullied by most of the school for being a Parselmouth, and has to deal with it mostly on his own with no help from the professors? My godson had to put up with sneers and taunts from all and sundry, thinking he was responsible for petrifying people?" Not being able to help himself, he stood up from his chair so fast that it toppled over, causing Harry to jump. "WHAT IS THIS?" he snarled, looking just as enraged as the night he and Remus had faced Peter in the Shrieking Shack. "I have a right mind to take you out of that bloody school for good!"
"Sirius, calm down!" Harry pleaded, standing up as well and resting his hand on the man's shoulder again.
Harry's voice seemed to bring Sirius back to himself. He took another deep breath, and all the anger flew out of him as he pulled the boy into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Harry," he said hoarsely, his eyes welling up with tears. "I truly have been a horrible guardian. There I was, wallowing in my own self-pity in prison while you ..." He shuddered again. "While you were in such terrible danger. You have almost died three times while you've been at school. This is unacceptable. I'm telling you one thing: I am not letting you out of my sight for a good, long while. If I could, I'd NEVER let you go anywhere again."
Harry had never had the experience of an adult sounding so fiercely protective; it was very new for him. Sirius's eyes contained a bottomless well of emotions, causing Harry's heart to flip within his chest. "Sirius," he croaked, "stop saying you've been a horrible guardian, because you haven't. You were sent to prison for something you didn't do, and those Dementors are so, so awful. And ..." he added softly, "when all this stuff with the Ministry and the Aurors gets sorted out, you have to let me go back to Hogwarts sometime."
Sirius's heart softened, because he knew what Hogwarts and his friends had meant to him growing up, and he could recognize that Harry felt the same way. But he also knew there was absolutely no way he was letting Harry step foot in that building until there were some major changes made. This, he told Harry in no uncertain terms, keeping his voice gentle so the boy knew the anger Sirius felt was not directed at him. "And although you may disagree, I know I have been a terrible guardian," he said while still holding Harry close. "But I am always going to be here by your side now."
At these words, Harry felt a burst of affection for his godfather. Never had his safety been the most important thing on anyone's mind before. He smiled at the man, and let out a wide yawn.
"Sleepy?" Sirius asked, ruffling Harry's hair. "Would you like to come with me into the drawing room?" He did not want to let the boy go, even though he knew he would only be going to his room. He hoped Harry would agree, just this once.
"Sure," said Harry, sensing the other man's need to have him nearby and quietly appreciating it.
So the two made themselves comfortable in the drawing room. Harry lay down on the couch, and Sirius curled up there, too, turning into the bearlike black dog. He performed his ritual of barking gently while Harry stroked his fur, letting his eyes close on their own.
Once Harry had fallen asleep, Sirius stopped barking and settled down himself. He sighed softly, his heart aching for the boy beside him. Anger still pumped fiercely within his body - the four years Harry had experienced at Hogwarts were worse than he ever could have imagined. Dumbledore was testing his hero, seeing how he was performing, and Sirius wouldn't have it anymore. Harry was a child who deserved the best of care, and his needs weren't being seen to. Sirius still couldn't believe everything he had heard.
And as Harry slept, he began to plan. Albus Dumbledore had truly underestimated Sirius Black, and it would be to his detriment. Sirius would make sure of that.
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