Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut!

Chapter 1. Who is the bastard that regressed?

On a day when the sky was particularly high, Kang Hajin thought.

“Ah. Life is terribly meaningless.”

And boring, too.

He crammed his large body into the bed and scanned the provocative thumbnails on iTube without focus. If something seemed interesting, he’d click on it but wouldn’t watch the video.

Eventually, he closed the app and turned over. And he thought again.

“It’s really damn boring….”

Hajin thought this might be the deepest downturn in his life graph.

Age twenty-nine. A job seeker disguised as an unemployed person. The eldest son of a family.

Hajin turned his gaze around his room. What’s left for me?

‘…I thought I had lived quite diligently.’

Since unexpectedly quitting his job, he had lost motivation for anything. A friend who knew him well advised that he probably needed some time to rest.

Following the advice, he had been resting for several months, but while his body was at ease, his mind wasn’t. It felt like time had stopped.

On days like this, he often thought about resetting his life. Having nothing else to do, he started reading web novels, and it seemed many people had similar thoughts. These days, novels frequently featured reincarnation, regression, and possession. It was, indeed, the most thrilling and desperate fantasy one could have in life.

So, what’s the point here?

It’s just a fantasy. IF, if, maybe, hoxy.

A reality-escape fantasy that most people desire but know has zero point zero-zero-zero-zero percent chance of happening.

Kang Hajin experienced his first regression on that clear and blue day.

* * *

When he first regressed, Kang Hajin thought he had finally gotten the chance to change his life.

Of course, he was a bit startled when he opened his eyes to a familiar gray test paper.

“Don’t cheat, you know cheating gets you a zero, right?”

He had been lying in bed just moments ago, but when he closed his eyes and opened them again, he was back twelve years ago, during the second period of midterms? He felt like smacking whoever adjusted the timeline once with an OMR card and a mechanical pencil.

‘What’s this about assembly? I thought the last assembly of my life was over with university hazing…’

And a math test, too? Are you kidding me?

“Everything on the test was covered in class.”

The problem was that the class was taken twelve years ago, teacher.

And it meant that even looking at the test paper, he couldn’t just go ‘Huh, these are problems I’ve already solved’ and scribble down the answers.

From what he had read in novels, people memorized lottery numbers and such, but life was indeed a reality. At the age of twenty-nine, he should have at least considered the possibility of regression.

The first regression began in a muddled way. It was a classic repertoire.

He returned to the basement house they lived in before his father got re-employed, found motivation through tears, and clenched his fists, determined to live a different life this time, studying hard.

Going to the army again seemed a bit hellish, but he decided to find a way out over the next few years. As long as he could build his life up again.

‘This is an opportunity!’

That’s what he thought.

Until he was hit by the second regression while listening to the third period English listening test during the CSAT.

* * *

Is this for real?

They said kids these days don’t use that phrase. But there was no other way to express it.

Is this for real?

“Hajin, do you think the army is a joke?”

Is regression a joke to you?

‘Timeline, who the hell are you, really?’

I was just about to choose the appropriate answer to Tom’s last words.

“Hajin, if a senior asks you something, you need to answer.”

“Private Kang Hajin.”

“What? Dog? Are you a dog? From now on, say woof instead of private.”

“Understood?”

You’re a person with a dog’s character.

It was absurd and childish to be attacking names instead of personalities at my age.

Thinking about how scary it was to go to the army, I desperately contemplated how to get back at this crazy regression system that sent me back as a soldier. As I half-listened to the not-so-important senior’s words, I thought.

‘I need to find a pattern.’

For two years. Two years had passed since the regression without any issues.

But suddenly? On the day of the CSAT, they just send me back?

Having read almost every fantasy novel, excluding romance, (though some romance, too), I knew there had to be some kind of algorithm.

“Hey, Kang Hajin.”

“Private Kang Hajin.”

“Wow, he just ignored what I said? From now on, say woof instead of private.”

“……”

Should I just say woof and get it over with?

Trying to think, but this senior kept talking. At twenty, it might have been scary, but I had just been taking the CSAT, the number one ranked exam in Korea. Bring it on, world.

Good or bad, the senior lost interest when I didn’t react much and went back to his seat, saying it was time for a music show. A fellow who volunteered to be the senior’s minion started listing the comeback schedule of some girl group. Well, I could guess the time roughly. As I slowly blinked, wondering what this situation was, an uneasy premonition brushed the back of my neck.

‘What if I regress again on discharge day?’

“Hey, damn it!”

And then it became a reality.

The third regression occurred two weeks after discharge. It meant I regressed before my hair grew back. This time, I was twenty-four, still growing out my hair that I had cut to my eyebrows out of spite. The timeline began to run wild.

“What the hell is this!”

At this point, it’s somewhat… hellish? Maybe I’m crazy? Could I be in a coma from my first life’s retirement, drifting now? The hypotheses I had thought of since the first regression began to resurface.

“Surely, there’s something, something….”

As I was saying that, I was hit with the fourth regression, and a hypothesis that struck my mind hit me on the back of my head.

I’m not the one causing the regression!

* * *

The fourth regression was in the winter of my nineteenth year.

“Whoever it is, it’s clear I’m caught up in someone else’s timeline.”

Luckily, it was the weekend, so I could quietly organize my thoughts at home. It was awkward because it was before we moved out of the basement, but having lived there since childhood, I adapted quickly.

I just had to endure and respect it for about four years, and then my mother, who discovered financial studies, would start real estate investment with the help of my father’s re-employment, and the whole family would move into our first apartment.

Having regressed four times, I realized some futures were always fixed and unchanged.

“Hyung, I need to use the computer.”

“Go ahead.”

“Hyung, you need to move so I can use it.”

My cheeky but cute younger brother, a year younger, gestured for me to move, so I quietly stepped aside. Anyway, I needed a quiet place to think about this damn regression system.

I went straight to a quiet café near home, grabbed a notebook and pen, and began organizing the timeline and clues I had gathered so far.

<[Original]

Age 29. Watching iTube in bed. Job seeker. Depression.

[First]

Age 17-19. Hit by regression during the English test of the CSAT. Damn singularity? What grade did I get?

[Second]

Damn bastard, age 21-22. Army… Ah, the army… Again? Do I have to go again? Please exempt me.

[Third]

Age 24. One week.

[Fourth] -Now

Age 19. Winter. December, CSAT over. Confirmed to retake the exam. Seriously, are you kidding me?

There are certain fixed events that always happen.

The regression timing doesn’t seem to have any set pattern.>

Thinking I might have to go to the army three times made me lose my appetite, and I wanted to punch whoever or whatever was behind this damn regression system. After calming myself by gritting my teeth, I slowly went through the listed information and wrote down what seemed to be the most plausible hypothesis at the bottom.

“Yeah, usually, regression stories have a tutorial guide package.”

If I’m not the regressor, it makes sense that I have no information. Usually, only the main character sees such systems. The fact that I’m not the main character aside, it leaves me feeling lost. I mean, how would I know who among the seventy billion people on Earth is the main character?

“Ah, seriously. I can’t live like this.”

Not knowing when I’d reset again, each day was a cycle of anxiety and lethargy. Even if I memorized lottery numbers, I had to wait until Saturday for the draw and until Monday to claim the prize! I couldn’t go on like this. Even if I had to meet all seventy billion, no, eighty billion people on Earth, I had to stop this regression.

[Really?]

And at that moment, ‘someone’ responded to my words.

[Can you stop that person?]

“…I’m not really crazy, am I?”

I could feel that all space-time had stopped except for me. ‘That’ wasn’t a sound or a sight, but more like a resonance, a vibration. Other web novels had convenient fairies or system windows, but my life wasn’t that detailed.

But who cares? Whatever the identity of this voice, there was nothing scarier to

me than re-entry exams, re-enlistment, and life resets.

[Can you stop that person, I asked.]

“I can’t do re-enlistment, but anything else, I’ll do.”

[Ha-ha, interesting.]

You’re laughing now? How can you laugh? The clear laughter made my brows furrow. The voice paused briefly, then resonated again.

[Alright, then. Let’s have a little bet.]

“What are you talking about? Speak clearly.”

[I’ll give you a chance. A chance to set everything right.]

“What?”

You’ll find it more familiar this way, a brief comment, and a blue light flickered before my eyes.

[Kang Hajin (Fixed Regression)]

Title: Unreadable (No Permission)

Attributes: Unreadable (No Permission)

Special: ‘Wandering and Drifting’ mode ON

※For mental care, the mental care system is temporarily activated to prevent confusion from the current regression.※

“Ah. Finally, at last…!”

Was this the system window I had heard of? I threw a punch in the air. Of course, there was no physical impact on the virtual window, but there was psychological satisfaction.

[From now on, that will help you. Though there will be many restrictions… I look forward to it.]

After saying that, the resonance disappeared, and space-time returned to its original state. Letting out the breath I had been holding, I read and re-read the system window floating before my eyes.

“Mental care, huh….”

I had always thought it was strange how calmly I accepted regression and systems, but it seemed thanks to this mental care system. Indeed, somehow. It added credibility that I was still alive despite re-entry exams, re-enlistment, and infinite regression.

To calm myself, I rushed to the counter, returned my empty iced tea cup, and ordered an iced chocolate. Sweet things were the best when your mind was chaotic.

“Excuse me, sir.”

“Yes?”

“The boss asked me to give you this as a service…. Are you interested in a part-time job?”

“Ah, I’m a retaker, so… I’ll contact you if I need it later.”

Receiving my drink and heading back to my seat, the part-timer shyly called me back, handing me a cookie and a business card. I quickly declined and returned to my table. Standing at the crossroads that would (literally) determine my entire life, a part-time job wasn’t my concern.

Opening a workbook I had brought for cover, I stared at the system window intently. Most of it was unreadable, but there was one word that stood out.

Unreadable (No Permission)

No permission. So this was a guide, but I didn’t have the right to see it. Based on my experience with fantasy novels, the ‘permission’ likely belonged to the ‘person’ repeatedly regressing.

What the hell, in the end, I can’t see anything?

“If you’re giving hints, give more…. Hey. You said you’d help. Is this all? Is this the end?”

Annoyance made complaints spill out loud. These bastards, they should take responsibility if they randomly regressed someone.

And at that moment, as if signaling the end of loading, the screen glowed, and new notification windows floated in the air.

[Reading ‘Life of a Fixed Regressor’ completed!]

[※Assigned as a mentor to the selectable regressor.※]

[Basic Quest: ‘Find the Regressor!’ has been registered. (New!)]

[Single Quest: ‘Finding the Lost Dream’ has been registered. (New!)]

[Do you accept the quests?]

What is there to think about? I immediately clicked accept on all of them without hesitation.