God Of Crafting

If someone asked me a year back if I would ever have the chance to hold a lovely woman from behind while discussing the matter of potentially ringing her up…

I would laugh straight in their face.

After all, a year ago, what did I have to my name?

Five years of futile efforts? A dead-end part-time job at a grocery with a boss who didn't even bother to hide the fact we were there in lieu of slaves of ancient times, serfs of the medieval times, and then free servants of the recent age?

Or maybe I should put the dog-house that I was renting as something I would be happy to share with a potential partner of mine?

Just a year ago, I was still under the impression that if I wanted to be with someone, my only two options were either a whorehouse or the ol' trusty method of kidnapping someone only to then let the Stockholm syndrome do the heavy lifting for me.

And yet… But a few months of extreme development later, I found myself wrapping my arms above the chest of the girl I was quite sure I'd loved… Or, what felt even more unbelievable, a girl that appeared to actually love me back.

A girl that didn't resist when I wrapped my hands around her, nor when I snuggled up to her from behind. And a girl… that blushed heavily when I brought up the topic of the ring.

"Is this…" Claire hesitated for a bit, the tips of her ears burning red, "the big question?"

She lowered her face a bit, as if finding comfort in pinning her eyes to the floor while moving her hands up to press them down against where my own arms interlocked above her chest.

"I'm sorry, but I'm just testing the waters for now," I quickly replied, having absolutely no desire to play around.

This topic was too important, too heavy for me to use the usual male tactic of jumping in and out of dangerous territory to test the field before actively engaging in it.

"Because while nothing could make me happier than actually asking the big question…" I hesitated just for a second, easily using my care for Claire and her feelings to overcome my own innate reluctance to say the next few words, "I still can't help but fear that you are happy being with me merely because we are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship."

Back in the days when I had quite literally nothing going for me, stories of other people and their relationships were one of the popular topics I would read about to kill the boredom of daily life while trying to detach my brain from the problems of tomorrow.

And by all means, our case was the perfect example of a couple that was still in the honeymoon phase.

We simply didn't know each other for long enough to get enough of the other. There were still things that we found curious and interesting about each other, rather than limiting our entire daily interactions to just… the same old stuff we'd already experienced a thousand times before.

For me, this wasn't all that much of an issue. Being the simple man I was, just holding Claire up in a tight hug was good enough to satisfy me. But for Claire?

What was it that I actually brought to the table? How was I supposed to answer the question that most of the men bitter about their past relationships would aim at their ex-partners instead?

"Are you implying you fear I will grow bored of you?" Claire asked, her voice calming down as if all of her excitement of the moment had died off, replaced by something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"That's…"

At first, I hesitated. Your adventure continues at My Virtual Library Empire

Even though that was pretty much what I'd said… I still ended up using quite the roundabout way to bring it up.

Claire, however, cut all the bullshit and nonsense away, leaving nothing but the crux of the matter and opting to address it directly.

"Yeah," ultimately, I found myself having no choice but to just lower my head and admit to the truth.

As in, there was a near-infinite number of ways in which I could reply… but all of them were cut short by my simple determination to stay honest with Claire.

I couldn't care less if being honest like that went against every rule of a chad's or fuckboy's playbook on how to keep the girl engaged and interested.

Whether it was naïve or not of me, the only way in which I could imagine my relationship with Claire working was through both of us being honest with each other.

And honesty…

This word wasn't just limited to not telling lies. It included stating things openly and fully as they were, as opposed to lying by omission—an act that was still considered a lie despite bearing no falsehood.

"Haa-ah…" Claire summed up all of my worries with but a long sigh. She then grabbed my arms with her hands before pulling them even further up, prying them apart.

The momentary scare that this gave me, however, only lasted for the short moment she needed to make use of my relaxed hold to turn around within my embrace and then cuddle up to my chest.

With her head now turning sideways, she pressed her ear against my chest while bringing her arms up only to wrap them behind my neck.

"I've already given you everything that I could. Be it my virginity, affection, all sorts of firsts, or all of my attention," she softly whispered, her voice a mix of desperation and concern. "Tim, I'm sorry, but I really don't know what else I can do to do away with your fears."

The amount of helplessness I could hear in Claire's voice was enough to make a grown-up man cry. Or, at the very least, to bring tears to the corners of my eyes.

"It's not something that you are responsible for, dear," I whispered softly while fixing the position of my arms before tightening my embrace over her, holding her up to my chest like some sort of cuddly puppy. "The fault here lies with me and with my lacking ability to see worth in what I can do or what I have achieved thus far."

Once again, I went with the honest route, even if it meant opening up my heart for brutal retaliation.

After all, how was I to show my honesty if I refused to leave myself vulnerable to her? How was I to show I trusted her words and actions if I refused to leave myself open for her to harm as she wished?

"Then," Claire raised her face, locking her eyes with mine, "let me put it this way," she said, letting the fires of determination explode in her eyes while putting a lovely pout on her lips. "Don't you ever dare to doubt yourself again, for you doing that means you doubt the man I fell for. And that," Claire brought her hands into fists only to then gently bring them down on my chest, "I won't let anyone do. Not even yourself."