ewc

The kidnappers had hidden themselves in a crumbling ruin that somehow existed between worlds, surrounded on all sides by wisps of cloud that drifted over an endless void. Perhaps it was something that had fallen through the cracks when Being X had been building his own universe out of the scraps he'd stolen from others. That seemed fairly likely, Tanya decided, provided that anything Darkseid had told her could be trusted, which in itself seemed rather unlikely.

She pushed that thought into the back of her mind. At that moment, there were more important things to think about. For instance, the ruined building was shielded by a magical barrier, fuelled by demonic energy: Choronzon's work, no doubt.

It proved no obstacle to her. As soon as she applied the least amount of pressure, it shattered and faded away to nothing. But there was something else beneath it, barely perceptible, like early morning mist. Another layer of defense? Experimentally, she batted it out of the way, watching as it wafted back and forth, seemingly harmless and insubstantial. It didn't seem to be doing anything; she could walk through it without difficulty, but she was filled with foreboding nonetheless. There was a cloying, sickly sweet scent in the air.

'Some kind of drug?' She wondered, for a moment, and then turned to the Corinthian and Matthew the Raven. "Can you feel that? Is it having any effect on you?"

Matthew gave an awkward avian shrug. "Dunno."

"Not at all," said the Corinthian.

Of course, they were both dreams, not creatures of flesh and blood. Many things that would be deadly to ordinary human beings – radiation, poisonous gases and so on – should have no effect on them. But if it was some kind of magical trap, it might have been specially designed to target them and their ilk. They should tread carefully. But she wasn't about to tell them that. They were Dream's employees, not hers. He had assigned them to this task, so he must have believed them capable of it. As far as she could tell, they were competent: they'd managed to track Choronzon and the kidnapped child to this secret hideout in the middle of nowhere, which seemed like an impressive feat. Tanya had no idea how they'd managed that. And they'd had the good sense to seek assistance when they encountered an obstacle they couldn't get past, rather than jeopardize their mission. It would seem that Dream had chosen well.

She advanced deeper into the ruin. It wasn't particularly large, so it didn't take long to find their quarry. The central chamber was dark, lit only by the flickering orange light from a fireplace heaped with burning logs and what looked like a child's doll. As she entered the room, she was assailed by various illusions, the first of which resembled Dream of the Endless himself – and then there were walking corpses, giant spiders and other things that were presumably meant to scare her – but it was a simple matter to brush them aside.

And there was Choronzon, cowering on the floor. The firelight made his bubblegum-pink skin glow as if red-hot. That gave Tanya a few ideas for how to punish him. But first…

"Lady Tanya! He made me do it! I never wanted to!" he gabbled. "I… I owed him a debt and I had to repay it! You understand, don't you?"

"You were only obeying orders, were you? Some would say that's no excuse," said Tanya. "Where is the child?"

Wordlessly, Choronzon pointed a quivering finger at the fireplace. "Ssss."

After so many lifetimes, Tanya was rarely surprised by anything, so the feeling was almost as shocking as the realization that what she'd assumed was a lifeless doll was in fact a little boy. He was perhaps two or three years old, sitting amidst the roaring flames with a bemused expression on his face. His clothes had crumbled into ash, but he was seemingly unharmed. Even the wispy blond hair on his head had failed to catch fire, despite the intense heat.

Dashing over to him, Tanya scooped him up into her arms and away from the fireplace. Glaring at Choronzon, she demanded to know: "What have you done to him?"

"We burned away most of his mortality. In another few days, we would have had all of it," said an unfamiliar voice. Lurking in the shadows, there was a misshapen, vaguely humanoid figure, with a wiry frame, pointed ears and a goatlike beard. Its eyes gleamed as red as fresh blood. "Never mind."

Without warning, it sprang into the air, landed on the nearby wall, darted across it like a lizard, and escaped through a window.

Tanya was about to give chase, but first she turned to Matthew and the Corinthian, who had followed behind her. "Guard him," she said, indicating Choronzon. "Make sure that he doesn't escape."

Matthew tried to say something, but she didn't stop to listen. Instead, she launched herself into hot pursuit, speeding after the red-eyed creature as it bounded along on powerful legs, over walls and onto the roof, until at last it seemed she'd brought it to bay.

"What are you?" she demanded to know.

"I am called Robin Goodfellow, the Puck, and many other names besides. A merry wanderer of the night, former jester to the king of faerie. A trickster. A ne'er-do-well. A will-o'-the-wisp. Perhaps you've heard of me." He gave an insouciant bow, yawned and stretched, and then dropped into a squatting position, as if her presence bothered him not at all.

"Why did you steal this boy?" Glancing down at the child, who seemed content to nestle in her arms, she began to worry that there was something wrong with him. He was so quiet and still. He was a toddler, barely more than a baby, so… shouldn't he be crying and wailing at how he had been mistreated?

"What does it matter to you? You never cared before about the games that faeries play. I've stolen many children in my time, left many a changeling in its crib to stare with old eyes from a baby's face."

"He's a changeling?" asked Tanya, holding the boy at arm's length and examining him carefully.

"Much more than that. And less, now we've leeched his mortality from him."

"He seems human."

"So he does," Robin Goodfellow agreed. "For now. He is what he was born to be."

Tanya adjusted her grip and cradled the boy more securely. "Who's behind this? Who sent you and Choronzon to steal the boy?"

"I could tell you endlessly, and perhaps you expect me to, but I lack the time and the inclination–"

"One of the Endless." Tanya nodded, having suspected as much. "Desire, perhaps? Their antipathy for Dream is well known."

A savage grin spread across Robin Goodfellow's narrow face. "Up and down, up and down, I will lead you up and down. I am feared in field and town. I will lead you up and down."

"I'll get nothing useful out of you, but you might lead me astray," Tanya surmised. "And yet, I have you cornered. Don't you want to bargain for your freedom?"

He did not reply. Suddenly, he was enveloped in mist: the same cloyingly sweet mist she'd noticed before, which she'd suspected was part of a trap. When it vanished, mere moments later, he was gone with it, leaving no trace behind.

Try as she might, Tanya couldn't tell where he'd gone or how. She didn't doubt that she could track him down, eventually, but it would take far more time and effort than she was willing to spend. He'd planned his escape well.

"You win this time," she murmured, graciously conceding defeat. Then, she hurried back to the chamber where she'd found Choronzon, concerned that he might have planned a similar escape.

Instead, she found him whimpering on the floor, black ichor oozing from the holes where his eyes used to be. The Corinthian was holding a knife stained with the same substance. Matthew the Raven was nowhere to be seen.

Her brow furrowed. "What happened here?"

"He… he… gouged out my eyes!" Choronzon wailed.

"That much is obvious," said Tanya. Giving the Corinthian a dubious glance, she continued: "He was no threat to us. I told you to guard him. Why have you done this?"

"I needed to see what he's seen. To know what he knows. To answer a few questions." Black tears trickled down from behind the nightmare's mirrored sunglasses. He seemed to stare at the child in Tanya's arms.

"And what did you find out? Who sent him to kidnap the boy?"

Choronzon lifted his head up off the floor, a beseeching expression on his eyeless face. "Ssss. It was Dream! Dream of the Endless! I only did what he told me to do!"

For several moments after that, Tanya was silent, transfixing the Corinthian with her most penetrating stare. Then, finally: "Is that true?"

He hesitated for too long, until it seemed certain that whatever he said next would be a lie. "I… I can't be sure. There's too much…"

Perhaps Tanya should have been enraged and angrily demanded an explanation. Instead, she felt nothing but mild annoyance and exasperation. Barely anything at all. Really, she should have expected to be disappointed.

"I'm taking the child. He'll be safe with me," she decided.

"I have been instructed to bring him back to the Dreaming."

"What would be the point of that? How will that appease the Eumenides?" Tanya slowly shook her head. "No. I'll return him to his mother, in the waking world, when I can be sure he's not in danger of being kidnapped again."

"That is… unfortunate," said the Corinthian, pulling a scrap of cloth out of his pocket and using it to clean the knife that was dripping with Choronzon's demonic ichor. Tanya suspected that he was considering the pros and cons of stabbing her with it. "My master will not be pleased."

"I am far beyond caring about what does and does not please your master."

There was silence while the Corinthian considered her words. A flicker of interest lit up his face. Then: "Is this betrayal?"

"You tell me. I'm feeling very betrayed right now." Tanya took a deep, steadying breath. Pure theatre, of course. "I suggest you return to your master and tell him what happened here. If he wishes to express his displeasure with me, I hope he will have the courage to do so in person."

"When and where would you like to meet him?"

"At the earliest possible juncture. Not in his realm or mine: nowhere that either of us would have an obvious advantage over the other. Neutral territory. Lucifer's nightclub in Los Angeles would be suitable, I think."

"Wasn't Lucifer your boss until quite recently? Don't you think he'd side with you if it came to a fight?"

"He might do. Or he might find it amusing to sit back and watch. It would be foolish of me to rely on him to fight by my side. But if there was a sudden outbreak of violence, I'm certain he would intervene to prevent anyone from damaging his beloved nightclub."

For a moment, Corinthian looked like he was about to voice further objections, but he must have reconsidered. "Understood," he said, inclining his head slightly. "I will relay your message to my master."

"Thank you," said Tanya, watching as he faded from sight. She wondered what had happened to Matthew the Raven. Was he lurking somewhere nearby, watching her? Or had he been called away to deal with some other matter, something she was unaware of?

After some consideration, she decided that either way, she didn't particularly need to know, so long as she didn't have to do anything about it.

Still with one arm around the oddly quiescent boy, who was clinging to her like a baby koala, she lifted Choronzon with her other hand. He had gone limp, but his feeble moans informed her that he was still conscious.

"Back to the Blackest Pit with you," she decided. "There, you'll have plenty of time to heal and think about what you've done."

When he made a few noises of protest, she informed him: "I'm being merciful. I had planned to do much worse. You should thank me."

"Thk you. Ssss," he mumbled.

"You're welcome," she told him, as she dragged him back to Hell.

There were plenty of sinners in Hell who had skills and knowledge that Tanya did not. For instance, despite whatever crimes they had committed in life, some of them knew how to be good parents. She vaguely remembered that she'd been a mother at least once – or had that only been a dream? – but in the centuries since then, she'd forgotten everything that might have been relevant. Besides, she had neither the time, the inclination nor the patience to care for the little boy she'd rescued. Therefore, after carefully vetting a group of damned souls who all claimed that in life they'd been loving mothers, she was happy to hand him over to them. He reacted to this as stoically as he did anything else. Even when they were fussing and cooing over him, he barely seemed to notice.

Apparently, the boy's name was Daniel. It was one of very few words he'd said since she'd pulled him out of the fire, so presumably it belonged to him, but she couldn't be certain. She passed it on to her agents on Earth, just in case any of them heard of a missing child by that name. It wasn't much, so she wasn't hopeful.

When Choronzon had accused Dream of masterminding Daniel's kidnapping, she would have dismissed it as an obvious lie if not for the Corinthian's suspicious behaviour. By the time she returned to Hell, she had convinced herself that there must be some other explanation. Perhaps Choronzon's memories had been altered, or he'd been fooled by a cunning shapeshifter, or she should have interrogated him more thoroughly to make sure he wasn't lying. Perhaps the Corinthian was disloyal to his master and had deliberately tried to drive a wedge between him and Tanya. Perhaps Dream would explain everything when she met him in a few hours' time. She hoped so. The alternative was unthinkable.

It made no sense that Dream would have ordered Choronzon and the Puck to kidnap Daniel. What could he possibly gain from it, even if the boy's mother hadn't summoned the Eumenides to take revenge? Why hide him in a mouldering ruin instead of bringing him back to the Dreaming? Why get Tanya involved? What was the point of any of this? And so, she was convinced that this was all a misunderstanding.

Dream had responded promptly to her request for a meeting. Soon after she had returned to Hell, he had sent Matthew the Raven with a message agreeing to meet with her in Lucifer's nightclub and suggesting a range of possible times. She had been curious as to where Matthew had gone while the Corinthian had been brutalizing Choronzon, but he hadn't offered an explanation and she hadn't asked. Instead, she focused on what was really important: finding out who Daniel's mother was, returning him to her, and clearing up this whole mess before it got any worse. The fact that Dream had been willing to meet with her and had made no attempt to prevaricate must surely be a good sign, she thought.

Even so, she made sure to warn Lucifer in advance, just in case. It was the polite thing to do.

It was early evening, long before the nightclub was likely to be busy, but there were still a few people dotted around the place, here and there. Lucifer was wearing his usual suit, as elegant and casual as ever. There was an attractive blonde woman with him, which was to be expected, although she looked somewhat older and more professional than his usual hangers-on. In human form, he was unusually tall, whereas she was of more-or-less average height, which meant that she looked diminutive by comparison. Tanya sympathized, of course; she knew exactly what it was like to be dwarfed by everyone around her.

Looking around the room, Tanya recognized Beelzebub, in human form, sitting with… Was that the archangel Gabriel? They were deep in conversation, to the extent that they barely seemed aware of their surroundings. Their hands were in an awkward, unnatural position, not quite reaching across the table, as if they yearned to touch each other but didn't dare to make the first move.

Tanya raised a curious eyebrow. When she had suggested to Crowley that he and his agents should try to 'establish a cordial relationship' with some of the angels, she hadn't intended that they should do that by seducing them. She suspected that her instructions had been deliberately and creatively misinterpreted. On the other hand, who was she to argue with success?

Considering that the angels had been battling demons for millennia, it was bizarre that they were susceptible to such tricks. She would have thought that by now they would know to be wary of honeyed words and other blandishments. Still, if Being X was unaware of this vulnerability, she wasn't about to inform him. In the war that was soon to come, she'd need every advantage she could get.

Daniel was with her, as quiet and well-behaved as ever, as she led him gently by the hand. He had a solemn expression on his face.

"Cute kid," said the blonde woman who was standing with Lucifer next to the bar. "Couldn't find a sitter?"

"Actually, I'm trying to return him to his parents. But I don't know who or where they are," said Tanya.

"That sounds like the sort of thing the police should get involved with," said Lucifer, sounding delighted by the prospect. "What do you think, Detective?"

The blonde woman nodded and looked thoughtful. "Have you tried contacting the police about this?"

"I wouldn't know where to start. I couldn't tell them any of the things they'd want to know. I don't know where he comes from or who his parents are, or if he's a US citizen, or even what his real name is – I think it's Daniel, but I can't be sure. That's why I've come here. I've arranged to meet someone who can tell me everything I need to know."

"Everything? I'm not sure we have that much time," said Lucifer. A wry grin spread across his face. "You're full of surprises, Tanya. With you, I never know what I'm going to get."

"Which I choose to take as a compliment," she replied.

"I suppose introductions are in order," said Lucifer. Indicating the blonde woman, he began: "This is LAPD Detective Chloe Decker, my partner. By which I mean we solve crimes together, not that we share a bed–"

"Because we don't," Decker hastened to add.

"So far, she has proven to be oddly resistant to my charms, but I'm working on it. Also, she used to be an actress. Have you ever heard of Hot Tub High School?"

"I'm sure it's a classic. But I rarely have time to indulge myself with such things."

"I was topless in one scene," said Decker, obviously trying to pre-empt whatever Lucifer was about to say next. "I was nineteen years old at the time. More than fifteen years ago."

"And yet you've never been allowed to forget it. You have my sympathies," said Tanya. "I suppose we must all carry our pasts around with us, wherever we go and whatever we do."

For that, she received a warm and seemingly genuine smile from Decker, who turned to her partner and said, "Lucifer, I thought you were going to introduce us. Who is this lovely young woman?"

"This… is Tanya Degurechaff," said Lucifer. "When I retired, I left her in charge of Hell."

Decker had a look of fierce concentration on her face, as if she were holding back dozens of questions. In a strained, tight voice, she said, "Right. How's that going?"

"I think Lucifer gave me the job because he thought it would be funny. At first, I made a lot of mistakes. There were times when I thought about quitting. But recently I've been doing better. Things have settled down, for now. There will be difficult times ahead, but… I'm going to do the best I can."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Decker. Then, glancing down at Daniel, she did a double take, as if she'd forgotten his presence until that moment. "So, uh… how did you get involved with… whatever's going on with him?"

"I was informed that one of my employees had got himself involved in something… criminal. When I confronted him, he admitted it, and begged for mercy, and said he'd been forced to do it by someone he owed a favour to. One of the things he'd done was to this boy, Daniel. I rescued him and now I want to return him to his parents," said Tanya, sticking to the basic facts and leaving aside all of the details that might be distractingly supernatural or otherworldly.

Decker took a deep breath and closed her eyes as if in pain. "Did you consider telling the police about this at any point?"

"In Hell, she basically is the police," Lucifer pointed out. "Who was she supposed to call?"

"Usually, I delegate matters of law enforcement to my employees. But I am the highest authority. The buck stops with me," said Tanya.

"I see," said Decker, sounding unconvinced.

"You don't believe us, do you? You don't believe that Lucifer is the Devil, or that I'm the current ruler of Hell, or anything we've been saying. And yet you live in a world inhabited by superheroes whose powers cannot be explained by science, that has repeatedly been invaded by aliens, mythical monsters and extra-dimensional beings. Why are you so determined to believe that there is a rational explanation for any of this?"

"You're right. There are a lot of strange things going on in the world. I'm not disputing that. But there are also con artists, liars, illusionists, people who've been brainwashed or deceived, and the mentally ill. I'm not saying you're any of those things, but I think it makes sense to maintain a healthy skepticism. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, right?"

"An eminently sensible point of view," said Tanya. An amused smile threatened to break through her iron mask of self-control. "You're a woman after my own heart."

"Hey, back off! I saw her first!" cried Lucifer, in a teasing, jocular tone.

Tanya decided to tease him back. Workplace banter didn't come easily to her, but it was a valuable skill, so she'd worked hard on it. In many places, career advancement seemed to depend largely on one's ability to endear oneself to one's superiors, which meant that it was never a good thing to be seen as someone who 'couldn't take a joke'. No matter how unfunny their jokes were. Similarly, bantering with colleagues was supposedly good for morale and team building, and she had always been keen to be seen as a team player.

"Oh, you think a woman like this can be owned by you – or anyone?" she asked, making a show of looking Decker up and down, and giving her an appreciative nod. "She deserves to be adored and treasured and treated as if she were a queen… isn't that right?"

"Sounds wonderful," said Decker. "But I expect I'd have to rush off to make sure my daughter's okay and everything's ready for school tomorrow, or I'd be called in to work at short notice, or there'd be an emergency I'd have to deal with. Romance just isn't the same as it used to be. That's all part of growing up, I guess."

"Hmm. Well, if you ever want to 'adore and treasure' each other, I'd be interested in watching," said Lucifer.

Decker rolled her eyes. "In your dreams."

"And what pleasant dreams they will be." Lucifer smirked. "Anyway… can I get either of you a drink? Tanya, what would you like?"

"I liked the cocktail you gave me last time, with the coffee beans in it."

"One espresso martini coming up. And you, Detective?"

"Nothing for me, thanks."

"What about you? Daniel, was it?" asked Lucifer, bending down to him. "Maybe some fruit juice?"

For a moment, there was no sign that Daniel was paying any attention to him. Then, gravely, the little boy gave a small nod.

"Make sure to dilute it," Decker suggested.

Lucifer looked contemplative. "I've got some coconut water."

"Just do what you think is best, so long as it's non-alcoholic. And it's in a plastic cup," said Tanya.

"Of course. What do you take me for?"

Lucifer sauntered off. While he busied himself with making drinks, the two women had the opportunity to talk privately.

Decker gave Daniel a significant glance, then looked at Tanya and said, "If you need help, I'll do what I can. I'm a homicide cop, so kidnappings aren't something I normally deal with, but I can get you in touch with the right people. If you need backup… Lucifer and I will back you up, no problem."

"I appreciate it. And I will certainly bear that in mind," Tanya replied.

"Okay… I hope everything works out."

"How did you meet Lucifer, anyway? And how did he become your 'partner'?" asked Tanya, changing the subject. "That sounds like an unusual arrangement."

"Oh, it is," said Decker, with a long-suffering sigh. "Officially, he's a 'civilian consultant'."

Tanya wasn't an expert on US law, so she didn't know how much involvement Lucifer was legally allowed to have in Decker's day-to-day detective work, but she was willing to bet that he consistently and cheerfully overstepped whatever boundaries had been set. "And unofficially?"

"He's a pain in the ass, but there have been a lot of cases I couldn't have solved without his help. It's not always been smooth sailing, but… We're partners. We work well together." Decker gave a small shrug. Then, remembering Tanya's original question, she said: "I first met him when I was investigating the murder of a young woman who was shot dead in front of him. He'd helped her get her big break in the music industry – and I think he was very fond of her – so he was determined to punish whoever was truly responsible for her death." She paused for a moment, grimaced and said, "To cut a long story short, we joined forces and started working together. We found the culprit, brought him to justice, and we've been partners ever since."

Several possible reactions flashed through Tanya's mind. The first was that Decker's version of events made Lucifer sound rather benevolent, whereas the Lucifer she knew was a capricious monster with a cruel sense of humour, motivated entirely by his need for amusement and stimulation, who would have been a terrifying despot if he hadn't been so apathetic. Perhaps he was going soft. But rather than comment on that directly, she decided to continue her earlier teasing: "You make him sound so noble. A knight in shining armor," she said, fanning herself theatrically.

"He's a smug, lecherous prick," said Decker. "If you want him… bear in mind that he's had almost everybody else." She snorted derisively. "Still, he has his good points."

"Do I feel my ears burning?" asked Lucifer, returning with a tray of drinks: cocktails for himself and Tanya, and a complicated concoction for Daniel, which had chunks of fruit floating in it. It did at least appear to be non-alcoholic and in a plastic cup, even if it wasn't the sort of thing that young children would normally be expected to enjoy. He handed it to the little boy, who sipped it solemnly, without spilling any of it.

"We were discussing your new hobby. I must say, I'm impressed. I hadn't expected you to spend your retirement doing something for the benefit of society. Most men in your position seem to take up golf instead," said Tanya.

"Hey, you take that back!" cried Lucifer, putting on a show of injured dignity. "I may have rebelled against God and ruled over the legions of Hell for billions of years, but I'm not all bad! I never did anything to deserve golf!"

"Hilarious. The two of you should be on the stage," said Decker, not bothering to conceal her lack of enthusiasm.

"It's too early in the evening for that sort of thing, but… How about it, Tanya? Do you know any good tunes?" asked Lucifer.

"Not tonight. I have serious business to attend to."

Gazing at the nightclub's main entrance, she knew Dream of the Endless was due to arrive at a moment. Sure enough, as if summoned by her expectant thoughts, he appeared in the doorway. Her eyes examined him, assessing every detail, as if this were the first time she'd set eyes on him. Had she ever truly known him, she wondered, or had he been deceiving her since the moment they'd first met?

He was as tall and pale as ever, dressed entirely in black, with a weary, defeated air about him. His face was expressionless and his eyes were pools of darkness. He met her gaze with his own and they regarded each other in silence until Tanya decided she might as well get started. This was likely to be a difficult and unpleasant meeting, but there was no point in delaying it any longer.

"That's him. That's the man I came here to see," she said, putting down her cocktail glass. It was empty, though she barely remembered tasting it.

"You'll want some privacy, I'm sure. Perhaps one of the back rooms?" Lucifer suggested.

"That would be prudent."

"And, like I said, if you need backup, we'll be nearby," said Decker.

"I doubt it will come to that, but thank you."

Daniel was examining the slop at the bottom of his cup, seeming fascinated. Tanya took it from him, gathered him up in her arms, and marched over to where Dream was waiting. "Good afternoon, Dreamlord. I appreciate your coming to see me at short notice."

"Under the circumstances, it was the least I could do," he replied, in a voice drier than a desert breeze.

"I presume the Corinthian has informed you of what happened when we rescued this boy," she said, holding Daniel a little closer. He didn't seem to mind being coddled.

"Indeed he has."

"Lucifer has offered us the use of a private room where we can discuss this matter without being overheard. Shall we go there now?"

"No matter where we go, no one will hear anything I do not wish them to," said Dream. "But if it puts your mind at ease… I don't mind."

"This way," said Lucifer, beckoning for them both to follow him.